THAT NIGHT VICTOR GETS HOME late, and I’m on the couch watching TV. “Hey,” I tell him.
He blinks tiredly and looks around. “Daisy and Justin are in bed?”
“Yes.”
“What’d you guys do for dinner?”
“Breakfast.”
He gives me an exhausted smile. “That sounds good.” He slides in beside me on the couch, lays his head back, and closes his eyes. I take in his frown lines, the gray that seems to be more prevalent now, and his stubble. He looks ten years older than he did just a few months ago.
There’re so many questions I want to ask him. Like why did he marry Mom, was he happy with her, did he ever pick up on anything different about her, did he suspect anything about Marji, and did he know Daisy’s not his?
But of course none of these questions come out.
“What are you doing down here all alone?” he asks on a yawn.
“Thinking,” I honestly tell him.
“About?”
“You and Mom,” I venture.
Victor opens his bloodshot eyes, and the tenderness in them has me sliding over and laying my head on his chest, just like I used to do when I was younger. I inhale the faint scent of familiar cologne, and it comforts me.
“Why did you marry Mom?” I quietly ask.
“Well, for one, I fell in love with an adorable red-haired toddler.” He tugs my hair and I smile. “But your mom was . . . fascinating. She was so driven and strong and unlike any other woman I had dated. Honestly, she got pregnant with Daisy and that’s what nudged us both into marriage.” He gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Best decision I ever made.”
How dare my mom lie to him about so many things. She knew Daisy was Seth’s and yet moved forward with marrying Victor. Moved forward with having a “normal” life. She knew Seth couldn’t give her what she wanted. What a manipulative bitch.
Victor strokes my hair as if sensing my tension, and it feels so good, so loving, so gentle, and it calms me back down. “I hope you know I never once thought of you as Seth’s. You’re mine. Plain and simple,” he tells me.
“Thanks,” I whisper.
A few quiet minutes go by, and I listen to his heartbeat as I get lulled by the sensation of my head rising and falling with his breaths.
“I love all of you kids. More than anything.”
He didn’t say he loved Mom.
Zach sits with me with at lunch. “So how’s little man?”
I smile. “He’s good.”
“Daisy and Hammond seem the couple.” He nods across the cafeteria to where my sister sits giggling and snuggling with her boyfriend.
“Hammond’s good for her,” I say, using Daisy’s terminology. It’s people like him who will keep her normal.
Zach cuts his brown eyes over to me. “You’re good for her.”
Hmm. No one’s ever told me that before.
“You’re good for me, too,” he stresses.
I roll my eyes in a very un-Lane-like way. “Please. You’re making me blush.”
Zach laughs at that. I like that I can make him laugh.
We continue eating in silence for a few seconds, chewing, looking around.
“You notice anything going on with my brother?” he asks.
“No. Why?” Other than our mutual orgasm and the temper flare he doesn’t know I witnessed.
Zach shrugs. “I don’t know. He seems so in and out. You know?”
“No, actually I don’t know.”
“It’s like one minute he’s the best brother in the world and the next I can barely find him. I just . . . Sometimes I wish the clock could rewind.”
“Yeah, that I do know.”
We keep eating, and my thoughts drift to Dr. Issa and the few heart-to-heart talks we’ve had. “Know that he’s trying, Zach. Losing a parent is not easy.”
“I hate that you know that.”
No one’s quite put it that way before. But how true that is.
Zach wipes his mouth and stands. “Nice to be friends again. See you around.”
“Yep.” I watch him weave his way through the cafeteria, and glance over to Daisy again. She’s looking back at me with a little smile that I return.
She turns to leave, and Kyle is standing behind her, propped against the wall and staring right at me. My smile slides away as I take in his perplexing gaze.
Inside my backpack Catalina’s phone vibrates, and I glance away to dig it out. When I look back up, Kyle is gone. What was that about?
I slide the phone open, see it’s from the mystery number, read 2000 FORD CIRCLE, FAIRFAX. SAT. 9PM, and my stomach muscles clench in anticipation. Finally!
Saturday at nine. I’ll be there, and I’ll be ready.