THE MINI-MUSICALSTHE MINI-MUSICALS

The medleys weren’t the only times we sang. Our wonderful writers came up with the brilliant idea of putting together “mini-musicals,” which were “salutes” to various composers and lyricists, weaving stories around their songs, creating an original story line with a beginning, a middle, and an end.

One of my favorites was a salute to Richard Rodgers. Our guest that week was Eydie Gormé, who was perfect for this material. In introducing the musical sketch, I told the audience that Richard Rodgers wrote over 750 songs, and we apologized for leaving out 730! The plot was based on The Captain’s Paradise. I loved it, because it was not only brilliant musically, it was funny. This is how it was done. (The songs we used are in italics.)

The setting is the early 1900s. We’re in a hospital room where Judd (Harvey) is a pilot who flew a mail route for the U.S. Postal Service. He’s hovering between life and death after having crashed his plane. His faithful mechanic, Eddie (Tim), asks the nurse (Vicki) if Judd’s going to make it. It’s “iffy,” he’s told. They sit vigil at the foot of Judd’s bed, and Eddie begins to tell the saga of Judd, as “Climb Ev’ry Mountain” plays in the background.

EDDIE: “Why he’s the best darn pilot in the whole sky! He was the first guy to carry the U.S. mail from Tulsa to Kansas City. Boy, ‘If They Asked Me, I Could Write a Book’! I remember the first flight he made from Kansas City all the way to Tulsa! Two hundred miles, nonstop!”

FLASHBACK: We see Judd in his plane, happily singing “Oklahoma!”

Eddie (voice-over) tells the nurse that Judd had fallen for a clean-cut cheerleader. We see Maria (Carol) waiting for Judd at the airport with flowers. They sing:

JUDD: “Don’t throw bouquets at me.”

MARIA: “Don’t please my folks too much.”

JUDD: “Don’t laugh at my jokes too much.”

BOTH: “People will say we’re in love.”

EDDIE: (Voice-over) “Yeah, and they were, too. Course, he had to deliver the mail.”

Judd lands in Kansas City and goes to “Mimi’s Club,” where he meets the sexy nightclub singer Mimi (Eydie Gormé).

MIMI: (Singing slowly and provocatively)

“Everything’s up to date in Kansas City

They’ve gone about as far as they can go!”

Judd is immediately smitten! Mimi reciprocates! They sing:

JUDD:

“Some enchanted evening

You may see a stranger

You may see a stranger”

BOTH: “Across a crowded room!”

MIMI:

“I took one look at you

It’s all I meant to do

And then my heart stood still”

EDDIE: (Voice-over) “Yeah, and it did, too. It was love at first sight for Mimi and Judd…and Maria!”

Judd exits and is in his plane, on the way back to Maria.

JUDD: (Singing)

“How do you solve a problem like Maria?

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?”

The plane turns around and he’s flying back to Mimi.

JUDD: (Singing)

“Mimi, you funny little good-for-nothing Mimi

Am I the guy?”

He turns around again, flying back to Maria. He’s courting both of them!

We see Maria and Mimi (split screen), each holding the same photo of Judd, singing:

MARIA AND MIMI:

“Lover, please be tender

When you’re tender

Fears depart

Lover, I surrender to my heart!”

EDDIE: (Voice-over) “He got married…to both of ’em!”

Judd is marrying Maria. They sing:

Judd marries Maria.Judd marries Maria.

Judd marries Maria.

JUDD: “Thou swell”

MARIA: “Thou witty”

JUDD: “Thou sweet”

MARIA: “Thou grand! Wouldst kiss me pretty?”

They exchange rings and kiss.

Next, we see Judd marrying Mimi! They sing:

Judd marries Mimi.Judd marries Mimi.

Judd marries Mimi.

JUDD: “Thou swell”

MIMI: “Thou witty”

BOTH: “Thou grand!”

They exchange rings and kiss.

EDDIE: (Voice-over) “Yes, for four years he lived two lives, just hoppin’ back and forth like a sparrow in heat!”

Maria and Judd are in their cozy home snuggling happily. They sing:

MARIA:

“In our mountain greenery

Where God paints the scenery

Just two crazy people together!”

JUDD:

“This can’t be love

Because I feel so well

No sobs, no sorrows, no sighs…

He checks his watch. Time for Mimi!

JUDD: (Singing)

“So long, farewell

Auf Wiedersehen

Good-bye!

I leave and heave a sigh

I have to fly!”

EDDIE: (Voice-over) “Yeah, and he flew to Mimi! She was ready for him, the lucky devil! Boy was she ready!”

MIMI: (Singing, hot to trot)

“I couldn’t sleep

And wouldn’t sleep

Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered

Am I”

JUDD: (Singing apologetically)

“I didn’t know what time it was!

Life was no prize

I wanted love

And here it was

Shining out of your eyes!”

They embrace passionately. He glances at his watch. Oops, time to get back to Maria!

JUDD: (Singing)

“I’m wise and I know what time it is now!

So long, farewell

Auf Wiedersehen

Good-bye!

I leave and heave a sigh

I have to fly!”

EDDIE: (Voice-over) “He sure had the best of both worlds. Let’s see now, whose turn was it next? Oh yeah, Maria.”

Judd is hugging Maria.

JUDD: (Singing)

“A hundred and one

Pounds of fun

That’s my little Honey Bun

Get a load of Honey Bun tonight!”

Maria turns around and we see she is very pregnant!

MARIA: (Singing, patting her stomach)

“June is bustin’ out all over!

All over the meadow and the hill!”

JUDD: (Singing)

“So long, farewell

Auf Wiedersehen, good-bye!”

Judd is back with Mimi, who pleads with him.

MIMI: (Singing)

“Don’t change a hair for me

Not if you care for me

Stay, little Valentine, STAY!”

EDDIE: (Voice-over) “And he did. But only long enough to deliver his mail!”

Judd passionately kisses Mimi. We see Maria at home feeding the baby.

MARIA: (Singing)

“I’m just a girl who can’t say no!

I can’t be prissy and quaint

I ain’t the type that can faint

How can I be what I ain’t?

I can’t say NO!”

Judd is flying back to Maria.

JUDD: (Singing)

“The hills are alive

With the sound of music

With songs they have sung

For a thousand years…

UH-OH! Engine trouble!

JUDD: (Singing, nervously)

“Whenever I feel afraid,

I hold my head erect

And whistle a happy tune (He tries, but nothing comes out!)

So no one will suspect…

I’M AFRAID!!!”

The plane crashes! We’re back in the hospital room, where Eddie is telling Judd’s story to the nurse, who has fallen asleep from boredom.

EDDIE: “I always said I was the world’s best mechanic. I took care of that plane as if she were mine. Greased her wingtips, flipped her flaps…yeah, the only thing I forgot to do was put enough gas in her. She sure was a special plane, the old Maria-Mimi, she had everything!”

We hear Judd waking out of his coma.

JUDD: (Weakly singing about his beloved airplane)

“The wheels are yellow

The upholstery’s brown

The dashboard’s genuine leather…

Eddie and the nurse rush to his side. Eddie confesses that his goof made the plane crash and begins to cry. Judd forgives him and they hug.

JUDD: (Singing)

“Climb ev’ry mountain

Ford every stream

Follow every rainbow

Till…you…find…your dream…

He relapses. Eddie is bereft. The nurse puts her arm around Eddie.

NURSE: (Singing)

“Happy talk

Keep talkin’

Happy talk

Talk about things you like to do

You’ve got to have a dream

If you don’t have a dream

How you gonna have a dream come true?”

Suddenly both Maria and Mimi show up! They stare at each other suspiciously and then, uh-oh, Mimi spots Maria’s picture on one side of Judd’s bed…and Maria spots Mimi’s picture on the other side! The strains of “Getting to Know You, Getting to Know All About You!” are heard! Judd comes to again and sees his wives together. He’s caught!

JUDD: (Singing) “One girl for my dreams”

Maria and Mimi are livid. They remove their wedding rings and throw them on the bed.

JUDD: (Continuing)

“One partner in Paradise

This promise of Paradise

This nearly was mine!”

MARIA AND MIMI: (Singing)

“I’m gonna wash that man

Right outta my hair!

And send him on his way!”

JUDD: (Singing, and dying)

“Adieu, adieu,

To you, and you and you…

He’s gone. Eddie wails, “Poor Judd is dead!”

Maria and Mimi cry. They’re now widows. They sing about their predicament.

MARIA AND MIMI:

“The broken dates

The endless waits

The lovely lovin’

And the hateful hates

The conversation with the flying plates!

I wish I was in love again.”

They keep singing, and Eddie and the nurse join them. Maria and Mimi come on to Eddie, much to the annoyance of the nurse. They finish with a rousing “I WISH I WAS IN LOVE AGAIN!”

Who should appear as a vision in the sky but Judd! He’s sporting wings and benevolently sings:

Judd goes to Heaven.Judd goes to Heaven.

Judd goes to Heaven.

JUDD:

“Hello, young lovers

Whoever you are

I hope your troubles are few

All my good wishes go with you tonight

I’ve been in love like you

I’ve had a love of my own like yours

I’ve had a LOVE OF MY OWN!”

Judd floats away into the clouds and the nurse grabs Eddie for herself, leaving Maria and Mimi in the dust.

THE END

The writers came up with several more of these mini-musicals, featuring salutes to Irving Berlin, Cole Porter, the Gershwins, Frank Loesser, Lerner and Loewe, Harold Arlen, Stephen Sondheim, Harnick and Bock, Rodgers and Hammerstein, Jerome Kern, Jule Styne, and on and on. Sometimes running as long as fifteen minutes, each one was amazingly conceived and produced as our finale. The sets, the costumes, the orchestrations, and the execution were worthy of a Broadway show.

We sang live, the orchestra was live, and we did all of these in one take. The only time we had to prerecord and lip-synch part of a number was when the camera was in a wide shot and we couldn’t have a microphone showing! However, when we did prerecord, we still sang with the orchestra, which made it sound more “live.”

Today there are filmed shows where the music comes from someone sitting at a computer using something called Pro Tools, which is a computer editing program that puts together all the various components of a recording—singers, orchestra, etc. An orchestration is sent overseas to be prerecorded by musicians in a foreign country. The performer then records the song to that orchestration in a sound studio, and will lip-synch the entire number when it’s shot. Also, if there is more than one person in the number, they are often recorded separately, and their voices are put together later in the studio. Pro Tools also has the capability of correcting the pitch of a sour note or changing entire keys without affecting the tempo.

Naturally, when it comes time to shoot the number, there are many takes because of the several camera angles needed.

I realize that I’m comparing film with the live feeling of taping in front of an audience. I know it’s apples and oranges. I understand that this is pretty much the way it’s done today, and I can appreciate that fact. I’m sure cost figures in, but sometimes after all the prerecording and tweaking, when it’s all over, everything is so darned perfect it sounds fake. When I did the movie Annie, we recorded all the songs with the orchestra right there—in the same room—just like when they record a Broadway original cast album.

Frank Sinatra and many other singers of his era also insisted on recording their albums in the same room with the orchestra. To me, this sounds a hundred times better than these manufactured recordings. Tony Bennett still does it that way.

If these mini-musicals were to be taped today, it would be an entirely different ball game because not too many folks in front of, or behind, the camera were raised on live television. Also, many of us were coming from theater back then, which gave us a leg up. Added to that, we mounted our entire one-hour show, often featuring these elaborate fifteen- to twenty-minute finales, in five days, taping the entire thing in front of a live studio audience in less than two hours! I was spoiled. I admit it.

We had brilliant writing, music, costumes, choreography, direction, camerawork, and a crew that became family from the get-go.

And boy, did we have fun.