My head is pounding. I’m going to be sick. I roll onto my side and dry heave--I haven’t been able to eat anything all day. I didn’t want to tell Tim I felt sick to my stomach. Today was too important. Oh shit, what have I done? I remember going into the conference room with lunch, thinking I could go lie down in my office if I could just make it through this one task.
I didn’t really think I had a stomach bug. What happened? As I take stock of my surroundings, I realize I’m on a gurney. I open my eyes and see Tim’s face, deeply concerned. “What’s going on?” I croak.
He kisses my hand. “We’re in an ambulance, babe. You fainted. You’ve got a nasty cut.” I hear the siren, realize the jolting feeling is the ambulance rocking as it hurries down the cobbled side streets behind Stag Law.
“Your meeting,” I whisper. “I ruined your meeting.”
“No, baby. You didn’t. Your health is the most important thing. Juniper’s got those guys eating from her hand right now.”
The paramedic clears her throat. “Ma’am,” she says, coming into my eye line. “We’re going to take you in for some imaging when we arrive. We need to know if there’s any risk you might be pregnant.”
I shake my head. “I’m on the pill,” I say, putting my hand to the source of the stinging pain on my forehead. I feel a bandage. The paramedic must still be talking. She’s looking at me, expectantly. “I’m sorry. Could you repeat the question?”
“I asked whether you’re using your contraception as prescribed. Nevermind. We’re going to draw some blood from your IV and do a test.”
IV? I glance over to Tim, who looks even more deeply concerned. The paramedic explains they’ve been giving me IV fluids because I showed signs of dehydration. She pulls a vial from one of the shelves in the ambulance and fills it with blood from my IV access.
We arrive at the hospital and are rushed back to a room, where a nurse helps me onto the bed. A crew of people flock around, asking me questions, shining lights in my eyes. They determine that the cut on my head can be closed with glue, and I close my eyes while everyone works around me. I’m just so tired.
“Are you the father?” I hear a voice as I drift back to awareness.
“Excuse me?” Tim sounds upset.
“The father.” I open my eyes. A smiling young woman in a lab coat stands at the foot of my bed with a chart. “Of Mrs. Peterson’s baby! I’m the resident, Dr. Shaw. My notes tell me she’s expecting!” Before I can register what she’s saying, she walks toward me. She continues, “Normally we’d like to do a CT scan to rule out concussion, but it’s not really advised for the first trimester. Do you know how many weeks you are, Mrs. Peterson?”
I feel like I’ve been pushed into a dark tunnel. “It’s miss,” I say, stunned.
“Excuse me?”
“Miss. Miss Peterson. I’m not married. Did you say pregnant? I don’t understand.”
She looks puzzled, glances over at Tim, then back to me. Tim looks as though someone has slapped him across the face. “Well, Miss Peterson, your blood test came back positive. Did you not know you were pregnant?”
“There must be some mistake,” I say, shaking my head until the room starts spinning. “I’m on the pill.”
Dr. Shaw looks at her notes. “I see you’re taking a low dose pill. Those are very sensitive to timing—you have to take it at exactly the same time every d—“
“I know how the fucking pills work,” I spit at her. I’m trying to make sense of what’s going on but everything seems impossible. “I have an alarm on my phone every evening.” I cover my eyes with my hands. This can’t be happening.
“Alarm? Fuck!!” Tim pounds on the bed rail with his fist. “Can you give us a minute, Doctor?” Tim’s voice quivers. I open my eyes to see Dr. Shaw backing out of the room. Tim grabs my hand. “Alice...the first night you stayed over...you were asleep…”
Tim confesses that he shut off my alarm, thinking my covert secret phrase was about my nephews. That was what it took. One night. I mean sure. We had sex like 4 times that day I missed my pill…Now I’m pregnant? Pregnant by a man I’ve only known two months.
I groan. “I think I’m going to be sick again,” I say and lunge for the pink basin on the table. Tim steps back as I dry heave into the bowl.
“Alice...what do you want to do?”
I pause in my retching to look at him. “I can’t really think about that right now, Tim.” I flop back against the bed, hoping Dr. Shaw comes back. “Tim, can you call my sister for me? She works in this hospital.”
“We need to make some decisions here, Alice. Decisions...shit.” He rakes his hands through his hair, cursing and muttering under his breath. “How could I be so stupid?”
I scoff and then sigh. “I’m not going to terminate anything if that’s what you’re talking about, Tim.”
He holds my gaze for a long time. Then he reaches out and strokes my chin. “We’re going to have a baby then.” His eyes are wide with wonder, and he gazes at me like I’m some foreign creature.
Tim has the nurse page Dr. Shaw and asks them to find my sister, who comes sprinting into my room a few minutes later. Dr. Shaw has come and gone. I’m diagnosed with a bruised head and morning sickness, with instructions to start prenatal care ASAP.
Privacy laws mustn’t hold for hospital staff because my sister knows everything when she skids into my room. “Alice what the hell?? Pregnant??” She grabs my hands and looks over to Tim, who is now collapsed in the wooden chair like a deflated scarecrow. “Timber fucking Stag, you knocked up my sister!” Amy helps me out of bed and hands me my bag. “I’m going to send you the number for the midwives. Carol has been there so long she caught us AND my boys.”
When Tim sees that we are leaving he scrambles to his feet. Amy keeps talking. “You have to wait to tell Dad until I’m there to watch. Oh. And Ryan. Please wait for Sunday dinner and just blurt it out in front of everyone.”
“Aim, I’m so glad my crisis is so amusing to you.” She steers us toward the exit as Tim calls for his driver to come pick us up.
My sister pulls us both in for a hug. “It’s not a crisis! It’s a baby!” She claps her hands. “You’re both adults and you have homes and decent jobs. This is going to be amazing. I promise.” I wish I could share her confidence. Or even make sense of what I’m feeling right now. I huddle against Tim as we wait for the town car. He’s wooden and unyielding, gritting his teeth like he can chew right through this challenge.
When Joe pulls up, I don’t even wait for anyone to open the door. I collapse into the back seat and close my eyes until we start moving.
“Wait, where are we going?” Joe is headed west along the Allegheny River, not east toward my house.
Tim looks at me, utterly perplexed. “I’m taking you home. To rest. So we can talk.”
“Tim, I want to go to my house, to sleep in my bed and to think.”
Tim shakes his head. “Alice, we need to talk this through. This is ...you’re not thinking clearly and… Alice! A baby. Our baby…”
My head is pounding. I can’t think. “Joe, please take me to my house.” Tim starts to protest, but I cut him off. “I just really need to be alone right now, Tim.”
When we finally pull up to my house, I’m surprised to see both my brothers are home, but then I remember it’s late afternoon and we’ve been at the hospital since lunchtime. When Tim opens the door and I climb out, my brothers leap from the porch and come running to me.
“What the fuck, Alice? Who hurt you?” My brother Ryan balls his hands into fists, glaring daggers at Tim. “Stag, if you so much as laid a finger on her, I swear to Christ I will end you right now.”
“Relax, Ry. I just fell at work.” Tim’s mouth opens, but no sound comes out. I glare at him. “Tim drove me to the hospital and I’m fine. No stitches even. I’ll probably have a black eye, though.” I’m babbling again. My brothers don’t seem quite appeased, but I’m so exhausted and I’m feeling another wave of nausea. “Look, guys, I just want to go to bed. Tim, I’ll see you on Wednesday.”
“Alice, wait.”
“No. I really just need to go to bed.” I start to walk into the house.
He moves to follow, but Dan puts his hands on Tim’s chest. “She said she’s good, dude.”
“Alice, I’ll bring your things over later. Please call me when you’ve slept.” He looks desperate, and part of me wants to go to him, but if I stay upright another second I’m going to puke and cry all at once. I close the door, hurry up the stairs, and collapse into my bed.