Dr. Khalsa meets me in the emergency room after Emma's seizure. We know each other pretty well, since I usually drive Emma to and from her appointments. I leave my truck running in the parking lot and scoop Emma into my arms, stomping past the security guard. Dr. Khalsa grabs a wheelchair and tells the guard to please see to my truck while we walk back to a room.
"Did she mention an aura this morning?" He furrows his brow. She's out cold, either asleep or passed out. I don't even know. I shake my head as he hooks her up to some monitors.
“She didn’t mention any symptoms at all.” Once he sighs seeing some numbers, I can see him relax a little and I know he's not worried anymore. "We were having a fight," I tell him. "She's angry with me. Would that have caused her to have a seizure??"
He frowns. "I really don't think she'd have a tonic clonic event with no warning signs over a domestic dispute," he says. He pulls out his tablet device and starts clicking around. "She hasn't had a seizure in several years now and hasn't even reported an aura since we began the medical cannabis trial."
His cheeks puff out as he exhales. "I'm going to run some bloodwork and see if maybe something else is going on that triggered the seizure." I see him studying something on Emma's chart and he pages a nurse. I pace around the room, tugging at my hair and trying not to panic but I freeze in my tracks when I hear him say, "Standard panel…oh, and why don't we do a pregnancy screening. Let's rule that out first."
"Pregnancy?" My voice is louder than I intended, but what the hell? Emma's on the pill. I don't even know what it means if someone with epilepsy gets pregnant, but that sounds pretty scary to me, especially since she just had a major seizure.
Dr. Khalsa pats my arm. "I was just reading here that she was on an antibiotic this fall for a sinus infection. Antibiotics render birth control pills ineffective." He squints, studying my face. "Did you and Emma use protection during intercourse when she was taking that medication?"
I sink into a chair, unable to answer him. Emma and I have never used condoms. Ever. He clicks his tongue and follows the nurse out of the room. I hadn't even noticed her drawing vials of blood from Emma's arm. I look at Emma on the bed, red hair splayed everywhere, skin pale. She looks so small. God, I can't shake the feeling that this is my fault.
What the fuck was I thinking, not proposing to Emma? Not taking her to the courthouse to make things official? I let myself get used to her, just sort of comfortable with our lives. But of course she wants more. From my end, she's it for me. I’m not going anywhere without her. But I’m still learning how to be a decent guy. What if Emma gets sick of coaching me through all my baggage? What the hell is wrong with me?
I need my brothers or I'm going to freak the fuck out, but none of them are answering their damn phones. By the time I get Tim to pick up, I'm almost hyperventilating, but he tells me he will be here soon.
Dr. Khalsa comes back in the room and drags a chair next to me. "Thatcher," he says. "Emma still doesn't have you listed on her HIPAA forms. Are you legally married?"
My mouth hangs open. "No," I whisper. "But she's my world, Doc. You know that. I built a house for her. We live together and share a bank account. What are you saying here?"
He sighs through his nose. "I can't discuss the details of her health with anyone who isn't next of kin or listed on her privacy forms."
I feel my temper flaring, my panic starting to rise. "Well who the fuck does she have listed? Don't tell me it's still her fucking parents because--"
"Nicole Kennedy," he says. "Do you know her?"
Relief floods over me at the name of Emma’s best friend. Nicole is like a female Tim. When they were college roommates, Nicole dragged Emma to Dr. Khalsa, knowing with proper care she could control her seizures and live a normal life. Nicole has been there for Emma for years…but I’m her man. I’m the one here with her at these appointments now. Did Emma leave me off her forms to spite me because I haven’t proposed to her yet?
I'm pissed and helpless here, but at least I don't have to deal with Emma's snooty mother and politician father. I nod to Dr. Khalsa and pull out my phone to call Nicole. As soon as I tell her Emma's in the hospital, I hear her screaming something at her assistant. Nicole works around the clock. I always wonder whether she and Tim were separated at birth. As I try to explain details, Nicole starts yelling and trying to micromanage me. She hangs up before I can give her more details, so I assume she's on her way.
Dr. Khalsa is still standing there, checking Emma out, and she's still totally zonked. He nods, reading some test results the nurse brings him, and I decide I'm not above begging. "Doc," I say to him. "Are you saying even if she's pregnant you can't tell me about that? About what it means?"
He shakes his head. The guy looks genuinely sorry, but I want to pull my hair out. "But it would be my baby," I tell him. "Mine and Emma's together." My voice cracks, and I know I'm going to lose it if somebody doesn't tell me what the hell is happening.
I start pacing the room in tight circles until I hear Nicole clomping down the hall in her high heels. "What's the situation here?” she doesn't even look at me, though, and strides directly to the doctor, saying, "Nicole Kennedy, in-case-of-emergency-person for Emma Cheswick, reporting for duty."
She gives him a salute gesture and Dr. Khalsa asks if she'd like me leave the room. I'm really glad I don't have to kill someone, because Nicole says, "Obviously not. Spill it, doc. Don't make me sorry I brought Emma to your clinic all those years ago."