I open the door to my house to see Nicole staring at my brother, who is cradling Emma. "What the hell is everyone crying about," I say. As it's falling out of my mouth, I know I'm just proving everyone right who thinks I'm a cranky old bastard. This whole thing is fucking with my head. Emma won't even talk to me half the time, and it's killing me.
She's pregnant, carrying a tiny Stag baby. My fucking baby. And she won't talk about it since her stay in the hospital when she said she wasn't sure if she'd keep the pregnancy. I keep thinking back to our argument before she had the seizure. I know she's right--I haven't been doing a good job showing her how I feel about her. How she's my everything. The only person half the time who keeps me from being a hermit with no friends.
There’s no use dancing into this, so I just blurt, “Emma, you're the light of my life," and everyone whips their head around to stare at me. I ignore all of them but Emma. "Can I show you something?"
Nobody says anything, but Tim lets go of my girl and wipes at his eye. "Hey, man," he says, patting me on the shoulder. Apparently Emma is going to make me work to get her to come see my surprise. I shake off my coat and hang it on a hook as he keeps talking. Something about Christmas trees and Alice and Thanksgiving dinner. "So can I borrow your truck?"
"What?"
"Your truck. The old beater…white stick shift piece of shit truck? Can I borrow it?"
I have to laugh at the thought of Tim driving my truck when he's told me a thousand times that it's not up to his safety standards. "No can do, Timmy. Sorry."
"You don't have to be a dick, Thatcher. Alice asked me not to get pine needles in the Volvo."
Emma sniffs and I look over at her, meeting her gaze. "I can't lend you the truck because I got rid of it this morning," I say. I hold out a set of keys for Emma to see. "I wanted to get something safer. Something better for a family."
Nobody talks for a minute and I feel the crisp breeze come through the sliding door to our loft. "You sold the truck?" Emma's voice is a whisper. "You love that truck."
I nod and close the distance between us. God, it always feels so good to hold her. Her scent washes over me as I suck in great lungfuls of Emma. "I love you more," I say. I can practically hear Tim rolling his eyes at me. Emma lets me hug her and I pull her in, nestling my chin in her red hair, rubbing her back. She smells a little bit like peppermint today, and I’m glad she’s been drinking the tea I got her to settle her stomach.
In the background, I hear Nicole clicking her tongue at my brother. "What's the point of being filthy rich if you're not going to take advantage of the service industry," she scolds. I hear her clicking around on her phone. "Look," she says, shoving her phone in Tim's face as I pet Emma's hair. "This tree place delivers."
"How about the two of you get out of here and let me talk to Emma in peace," I say, squeezing her shoulders. "I want to show her my new family wagon. Which I had to park on the street, by the way, because there's no room in my own damn car port."
Tim and Nicole make their way out as Emma starts to cry softly against my shoulder. "Talk to me, Chezz," I tell her. "I'm dying without you."
"I'm scared, Thatcher." Her voice is muffled in my shirt.
"I know you are. I'm scared, too. God, I'm so scared something will happen to you. Can we talk about it?"
I tip her face up so she meets my eye. Her cheeks are wet with tears and I hate that. I don't think she's cried since we were first together, when we were just pretending to be a couple, and I was too dumb to communicate my feelings to her. “I will do anything for you, Emma,” I assure her. “Can we read the stuff your doctors sent?”
She lets me guide her over to the couch and we read over some of the pamphlets from the OB. My mind keeps wandering between our argument and the idea of her growing my baby inside her. Finally, I can't take it anymore. "Emma," I say. "I want to show you our new car."
She raises an eyebrow at me. I sigh. "I wanted to do something…a gesture. I want to show you I'm all in here. I want to be your in case of emergency person at the hospital, and I want you to know I'm a serious adult capable of being a dad. And I want you to know that you're it for me."
I grab her coat and start wrapping it around her so I can walk her downstairs. "Take a ride with me, Emma." She looks at the silver Audi SUV I bought and snorts.
"That's quite an upgrade, Stag," she says. "Did they laugh at you when you traded in the truck?" She punches my arm playfully and I open the door for her to climb in.
"I'll have you know I sold the truck to Cody at a discounted rate,” I tell her. "I can't very well haul glass supplies around in my new family vehicle."
Emma sits in the leather interior, looking around at all the fancy-ass features I don't even know if we need. I just told the guy at the dealership I wanted the best car for a family. As per usual, he took one look at my ink and my ripped jeans and thought I was taking him for a ride, but I pulled out my Black AmEx card and all of a sudden he was sweet as pie. I did all right for myself before I started doing work for the hottest new architect in Pittsburgh, but my commission last year really set Stag Glass up with the big leagues. I have more money than sense, Tim keeps telling me. Now I’m going to spend some of it on Emma.
"Hey, Em," I tell her, tucking some of her wild red hair behind her ear. "Even if…I want you to know I think you should be riding around in this kind of car." I swallow. I can't even bring myself to talk about what she said at the hospital. I can't say those words out loud. "There are so many air bags in here, babe. I should have upgraded for you a long time ago. Kept the truck just for deliveries." She smiles. "Should we go show your parents?"
That brings out a laugh. She hasn't even told them anything yet. I know we're supposed to see them for brunch soon, since we will be with my family for Thanksgiving dinner. Emma has been avoiding talking about it, and I know she doesn't want to drive over there right now. She looks off into the distance and shivers a little. I start the engine and turn on her seat heater for her. "Can we go spy on Tim and Alice picking out a Christmas tree?" she asks.
I grin and put the car in gear. "Abso-fucking-lutely."