I’m starting to get careless, but I can’t seem to stop. Hawk keeps sneaking into my office to grope my ass or kiss my neck and…I let him. More than let him, I lean into his touches and spend way too much time thinking about the next time I can get away from Wyatt and from work to get naked with Hawk.
So when he texts me to take my time leaving work on Thursday, I do. I wrap things up slowly, listening as the team files out of the stadium toward the parking lot. I hear the loud steps of Coach Todd exiting the building along with his assistants. And then I hear the whisper of my door hinges.
I look up to see Hawk standing there, dark and disheveled, his cheeks pink from his workout, or maybe the heat of his shower. Or maybe both. I rise from my desk silently, and in an instant I’m in his arms, the door to my office closed as he presses his mouth into mine.
He moans softly against me and leans me against the edge of my desk. “God, you feel good, Lucy,” he whispers. We kiss and nibble at each other, my hands pressing into his shoulders as his explore my body through my clothes. I don’t know how long we spend making out, but I know it has to end. I pull my mouth from his and rest my forehead against Hawk’s.
“I have to go get Wyatt,” I say. “But this was nice.”
“Just nice?” He pinches my thigh and I squeak in response, then blush.
“More than nice,” I tell him and I reach up to kiss him near his ear, in the place that I know makes him shudder. And the fact that I know that tells me I’m in way too deep. Well past fuck buddies. “Hawk.”
He leans back and grabs my hand. “I know,” he says, and walks to the door, pulling it open. “I’ll walk you to the parking lot. You got your stuff?”
I nod and fall in step beside him, pressed against his arm, savoring the nearness of him. The gentle, friendly silence we have together. Hawk pushes open the door for me and I brush against him as I pass, teasing him by rubbing my chest against him. He walks out the door and reaches for my hair, but I see something catch the afternoon sunlight and draw my eye.
I freeze.
Nick is in the parking lot of the stadium. I see the hateful look on his face for an instant before I duck behind Hawk, panting, breathless. I peek around his shoulder and see no sign of Nick, but he was there. I know that he was. This is very, very bad.
My breaths come quickly as I struggle to regain control of my body. I’ve never responded this way to seeing him before. Terror, I think. I am terrified. I close my eyes, and then scream as I feel myself being moved.
I open my eyes to see Hawk gently backing me to the building, his eyes dark with concern. “Lucy,” he whispers, his thumbs gently rubbing my arms. “Lucy, what’s wrong?”
I can’t speak. What is Nick doing here? I mean, obviously he’s spying on me or trying to intimidate me or both. But what are the logistics of him being here? I have a PFA against him.
“Lucy!” Hawk’s voice is thick with worry and my eyes flash wide. “You’re shaking, honey.”
I look down at my hands. They are indeed shaking. “Nick,” I manage to say as Hawk stares intently into my eyes. “My ex.”
Hawk clenches his jaw and whips his head around. “Where? He’s HERE? What the fuck, Lucy?”
I press my hands into my jeans, trying to think. Erika was very clear that if Nick violates his no-contact order I have to call the police, because if I don’t he might be able to tell a judge that he doesn’t pose a threat to me. “I have to call the police,” I say, but my hands are shaking too badly to pull out my phone.
Hawk is in front of me in an instant. He squeezes my hand and pulls out his own phone. The 911 dispatch operator patches him through to zone 4 precint, where my paperwork is filed. I swallow and feel a tear slip down my cheek. Nobody there ever takes me seriously. Maybe Hawk will carry more authority…
“No,” he says, his deep voice stern. “This isn’t a simple custody dispute. I’m telling you a dangerous man is—it doesn’t fucking matter if I’m ‘the boyfriend.’ He’s breaking the law and it’s your job to enforce this!”
I swallow again, imagining the conversation on the other end of the phone. I remember the first time Nick showed up at the gym when I was working and the reporting officer said he couldn’t do anything about a “lovers quarrel.”
Hawk holds his hand over the phone and whispers, “They’re checking his location…Hello? Yes, I’m here…Well I’m sure he is back at his residence now…what do you mean he’s entitled to data privacy? You’re not going to check where he was an hour ago? What the fuck are you all doing over—“ Hawk stares at the phone in his hand. “They hung up,” he says. “They said they’d make a note and they fucking hung up.”
I nod, and take a breath. “I have to get Wyatt.” I swing my purse around to my hip and start striding toward my car. Hawk places a hand on my arm.
“Honey, you cannot drive like this. Look at you. You can barely hold the keys.” He’s right. I’m fumbling, struggling to press the button to unlock the doors to my car. I start to cry.
“I have to get my son,” I shriek, my voice high pitched with terror. Hawk pulls me against his chest and wraps his arms around me. I squirm, my body desperate to get moving. Get to Wyatt. “I have to get to him, Hawk. Before Nick…”
Hawk nods and plucks the keys from my hand. “I’m driving you,” he says.
I shake my head. “No, Wyatt’s car seat. I need…”
“Shh.” He walks around the passenger side and opens the door. “I’m driving you in your car, okay? And I’m going in with you to grab Wyatt.” My jaw drops in shock and gratitude, but I sink into the seat, unable to think of a valid protest to his suggestion. All I can think about right now is Wyatt.
Hawk climbs in the driver seat and slides the seat all the way back, adjusting the mirrors to accommodate his height. He looks like a giant in my tiny Civic. I try to make a mental note to tease him about it later, but I can’t seem to find the words to do it now. I grip the interior until my knuckles turn white.
“Lucy, tell me where to go, honey.”
“What?”
“What daycare is Wyatt at? Do you have an address?”
“Oh.” I pull out my phone and pull up the daycare in the map app. The bluetooth in my car picks up the phone and I relax a bit when the computerized voice says we will be at our destination in twelve minutes.
I remind myself that Nick doesn’t know which daycare Wyatt attends. Things will be okay for 12 minutes. They have to. “This will be okay,” I say to myself. I look down to see my legs are shaking and my fingers are twitching.
“Jesus Christ, Lucy,” Hawk mutters, looking at me at a red light. “I want to kill him for whatever he did to scare you like this.”
I shake my head rapidly. “It wasn’t me he hurt,” I whisper.
The light turns green and Hawk’s eyes bulge as he squeals ahead, driving faster than ever.