Chapter Seven

 

 

 

 

Shade

 

I didn’t linger at Anna’s bedside. It created far too much friction. I did, however, peer in from time to time. My brother Benton continued to stress and pace back and forth. Corb remained in the room, stoic as ever as he sat there, probably assuming he was my proxy, but I hadn’t asked him to stay. I wanted to fix Anna, but there truly was nothing I could do. There was nothing to do now but to wait until Ilarial arrived.

She’ll know what to do, I told myself. I hoped she did. There was nothing but death lingering in the room now, and for once since I’d become an Ancient, a small sliver of fear grew in my stomach, growing like a cancer and making me want to disappear and run for the hills, even back to Arthas’s castle. I couldn’t breathe here. I could barely stand looking at my younger sister’s pale face as she slept.

“You’re not at your sister’s side.”

I swung around to find Corb standing by me. We were outside the borders of the Withering Palace, in the forest. I’d come here without meaning to. It happened a lot. I’d think of escaping, and I would no longer be where I’d been but somewhere random, peaceful, and alone. I hated it.

“Neither are you.”

“I stayed there for you.”

“You don’t have to do anything for me,” I snapped. I had no patience for someone as calm and solemn as Corb. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do now. I felt for my sister, but were we truly still sisters now?

“It’s okay to feel lost. When I became an Ancient, I too felt such loss and confusion.”

“How would you know how I feel?” I turned to look up at him. Normally, there would be tears in my eyes, ready to fall and slip down my cheeks, but now I only felt cold and numb. It was awful to feel nothing but oblivion inside where there had once been warmth and love.

“I wasn’t always an Ancient of Faerie. It may seem the stories say that the four of us are eternal, that we have lived for millennia, from the beginning of time, but we have not always been the same people. We change. Just as you became an Ancient, the rest of us have also been passed the thrones from our predecessors.”

“What?” I couldn’t understand what he was saying. “You’re not the original Ice King?”

“No, I am not.” He smiled, something I’d rarely seen when he was in my company as a human. Now it felt oddly familiar, as though I’d seen him smile a thousand times. He held out his hand. “I’ll show you.”

I stared at him for a long moment before glancing down at his pale fingers, afraid to take what he was offering. What if it was something I didn’t want to know? Or what if it was something I really did want to see? I couldn’t decide; everything was so much harder to decide as an Ancient than it had been when I was human. The lack of emotions was freezing me up in more ways than one. I was stuck and drowning with no way out.

“Take my hand, Shade. Arthas cannot help you transition. He was never really good at taking a fledgling. I’ve never taken one before, but I am willing to help you.”

“Whose fledgling were you?”

“I was Kilara’s, and she broke my heart. But I swear I will not hurt you, ever.”

His eyes flashed blue, and his warm smile heated the cool winter winds brushing against my skin.

“I’ve lost so much already,” I whispered as I felt the dread and despair creeping in again. How could he help me control that?

“Take my hand, Shade, and I’ll show you how to reconnect to yourself. I’m afraid it won’t be easy, but with help, it’ll become easier. It’ll take time, but alone, you might never regain what you lost. I’ll help you get it all back.”

I couldn’t stop staring at him. He looked sincere and kind. I’d never seen him with these eyes, and as an Ancient, he looked different to me. It was confusing to feel the way I was feeling toward him.

“What’s going on?” I whispered? “I—I feel odd, like I know you better than I thought I did.”

“Kilara’s residual emotions are affecting you. She loved me once, but she cut that part out. She did it to herself and let me go when she should have never done so. You can feel her emotions inside you. You’ll sense all your ancestors. I’ll help you control it. Just take my hand, Shade.”

It made sense. Yes, it was Kilara’s residual feelings inside me. Her love for Corb affected my own emotions, but it felt good, it felt like I was breathing again when I’d felt dead for so long. I liked it and wanted more of it. I wanted my own emotions back, but if this was all I could get for now, it was better than nothing. Even if the real me did continue to fade, at least I could have this.

“Okay.” I reached out and clasped his hand, weaving my fingers through his. They were cool, not icy cold like I’d thought they would be. As our skin touched, it heated to a warmth I cherished. It slid up my arm, into my chest, and hitched my breath.

“You’re so warm,” I whispered, feeling lightheaded. “You always were cold before. So cold.”

“You’re the Summer Ancient. My opposite. Only you can melt my heart.”

I sighed. It felt like I was riding a cloud, floating. He disarmed me with another smile and looped his other hand through my free one.

“Let me show you everything. Then, and only then, will you understand.”

He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to mine as the land around us disappeared, and we found ourselves standing in the middle of the Santiran Palace, the castle where Ursad, also known as Prince Lotinar, lived. But it didn’t look the same. Things were different, older, with different decorations. And the ruler sitting on the throne was not Lotinar but Corb. A very faery looking Corb, more human in looks than what he looked like now.

“That’s you, but you’re different.”

I turned to look at Corb as he nodded. “I was a king once. Very long ago. My castle was a bit smaller, but we were adding on to it.”

“You weren’t always an Ancient,” I muttered to myself, more for my own knowledge than his. His hand pressed to the small of my back as he held out his other hand.

“May I have this dance?”

My eyes widened as I stared at him. “We can’t possibly. Can they even see us?”

“We can go anywhere now, Shade. As Ancients, we can traverse through time like tourists. We can dance, and they will move to let us. They won’t pay us much attention, and we cannot change the timeline of events, but we can go to these places and watch these faces as though we are merely part of the crowd.”

“We can traverse through time?” My shock waned as I watched the crowd sway to the beautiful orchestra playing for King Corb. He looked happy at the excitement of the party.

“Dance with me, Shade.” Corb’s lips brushed against my ear, sending tingling sensations through me as I turned and let him lead me to the dance floor. There, he placed a hand on my hip and another on my other hand. I was wearing a dress like the other women in the room: large-hooped, tailored to me, and pushing my breasts up with the corset. What century was this? My hair felt heavy, and I reached up to find a pile of curls dangling down to my bare shoulders. The dress was a bright peach color with accents of white lace sewn throughout, with jewels to accent.

“How is this happening?” I asked Corb as he twirled me around. “This feels so real.”

“That’s because it is real, Shade. Enjoy it with me. This was the last party I threw at my castle, the eve before I became an Ancient. I, like you, was chosen to take over my position and forced to transform. At this moment, I didn’t expect my life would change so much.”

“Where is your queen?” I blushed as I asked, but I wanted to know more about this faery named Corb.

“She’s there, sitting next to me. See?” He nodded toward the dais, where a beautiful woman sat next to him, very pregnant yet looking stunning in her red dress.

“She’s gorgeous,” I said. “Did you ever see your child?”

Corb’s face darkened slightly, and I immediately regretted asking him.

“No. After I became an Ancient, my wife died in childbirth. Our child was stillborn. The whole kingdom suspected we were cursed. I disappeared, and my wife died from a broken heart, taking our child with her. I don’t blame her. Not one bit.”

“I’m so sorry.” I leaned into his chest; he was tall enough that my cheek pressed to the breast of his coat. “That’s awful.”

“No more awful than losing your husbands and twins,” Corb whispered, his chin brushing the top of my head. “Taking this position as an Ancient saves many people, keeping the magic of Faerie alive, but it takes everything from us. We sacrifice everything we love for the love of this realm. It’s okay to mourn our losses.”

“It’s so unfair.”

“But necessary.”

I thought about what he’d said. Though it was upsetting, I understood. “I—I can’t do this. Take me out of here.”

He nodded, and as he twirled me one more time, we appeared in another place. Another time? I let go of him and looked around, feeling lost.

“What is this place?”

“This is the first time I met Kilara. I was still a faery king. She chose me as the new Ice King long before I ever knew her plans for me. I loved her the moment I met her but resisted her as much as possible because I was married.”

“I guess she always got what she wanted, right?” I sighed sadly.

“Yes. As we all do. Ancients are hard to resist.”

I looked into his eyes again, and they flashed blue once more. “How is it that you can change your eyes like that?”

“You gave me that gift, Shade. You helped me find my old, mortal self. I’d buried it inside for centuries. You’re the one who did that.”

“But I drained your powers.”

“It helped.”

I blew out a breath. I was feeling euphoric and couldn’t help but enjoy it. I turned to watch a very much alive Corb meet Kilara in another kingdom, far from his home in the Santiran lands. She approached him, holding a goblet of honey wine out to him as she sipped her own.

“I take it you’ve never been far from home.”

“Is it obvious?”

“Homesickness is always obvious.” She sat down next to him on the grass. The late afternoon party wore on as people laughed and listened to music while the string quartet played cheerfully in the warm sun.

“My wife… I miss her.” Corb sipped the wine nervously. He looked young. Maybe even years younger than he’d been when he’d been turned into an Ancient. How long had Kilara stalked him?

“That’s too bad for her. It’s quite beautiful out here.” Kilara giggled like a schoolgirl. Corb couldn’t help but to stare at her, enthralled by her beauty and magic. I could tell he’d been a goner from the get-go, but he fought his desire with tooth and nail.

“Yes, it is quite stunning.” He sipped his wine and cleared his throat.

She leaned forward. “You don’t need her, you know. You could always come with me. I could show you the world. You should see more of it.”

“I am quite happy where I am. We’re newly married and hoping to conceive an heir soon.”

Only for a minute, anger flashed across Kilara’s face, but young Corb failed to notice because he was placing his goblet on the ground.

“Oh, Corb.” I hooked my arm around his and groaned. “You didn’t know what hit you, did you?”

He shook his head as he continued to watch Kilara chatting with his young self. For a moment, Kilara glanced our way, and I was sure she could see us.

“Can she—?” I asked.

“No, but it’s time to move on.” He pressed his hand around my waist, and the scenery changed once more. Now we were in the icy kingdom belonging to Corb, called the Great Divide. But like before, the walls, ever changing, made it look different than the prison I had dwelled in with my husband Dylan.

My heart seized just a little, but I tried to brush it off. “Why are we here?”

“We’re here so I can show you how to draw out your magic. Today, we start with the ice magic, then we’ll work on your other elemental powers. It can bring your humanity back.”

“I thought it was gone.”

He grinned and shook his head. “No, it’s only suppressed. Are you ready?”

I watched him for what felt like minutes until I reached out and placed my hand into his once more.

“I’m ready.”