Chapter Ten

 

 

 

 

Shade

 

Inside the Great Divide, the ice overhead groaned and shifted, glimmering as it froze and causing the ground to rumble. I looked at the large sheets of ice, wondering if I should leave instead of lingering within the walls of Corb’s palace. I’d never liked it here. It brought back memories of being kidnapped and mind wiped. I never thought I’d return here, ever, yet here I was once more, except this time it wasn’t against my will.

“What are we doing here?” I turned to look at Corb, who was standing in the middle of his throne room with eyes closed, arms stretched out. He didn’t answer or look at me. The silence was broken only by the groaning of the ice moving and reforming, as it always did here. It never stayed the same but continually rotated around the throne room, constantly changing its walls and passageways, shifting to keep anyone who walked through this place confused and imprisoned. There was nowhere to go without Corb’s permission, though I was sure I could leave if I wanted to do so, even without his magic allowing it.

“We’re here to fine-tune your ice magic,” he said without opening his eyes.

I glanced at him, curiosity filling me up. Was he sincere? Was he playing with my feelings? I doubted it. Corb was a complex creature void of absolute reason or concrete thought. If he wanted something, he took it. If he ached to destroy something, he commanded his troops to do so. If he wanted to disappear and join the Unseelie army ranks and rise to lieutenant, he did so. He was used to having his way, and it was something that made me wonder if I could ever truly match wits with him.

“Okay then, where do I start?”

He finally opened his eyes and turned, dropping his arms to his sides. There was that smile again. He appeared more mortal now than ever before. I blushed, looking away. How did he do that? I’d never felt anything toward Corb, yet here he was, acting as though he’d taken me on a date, and we were about to embarrass ourselves skating on the ice.

“I wanted you to return here to my palace because you’ve never truly seen it in all its glory.”

My eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

“Close your eyes, feel through the ice. Tell me what you sense.”

I stared at him in disbelief. “There’s nothing but ice and cold here.”

“Just try. Please, Shade?”

Was he begging? Corb begging was more outlandish than anything that had happened to me the past year. I groaned and closed my eyes, willing to try, but not for long. I breathed out, knowing my breath had puffed out into the air like fog.

At first, I felt nothing but the freezing air along my skin, though it no longer bothered me as an Ancient as it had when I was part human and part faery. Like a curtain spreading, I felt a jolt of life as though it’d been there the whole time and I had to but open the door to it.

I gasped. “What’s happening?”

The ice façade faded, and before me, dancing across the ice, were a myriad of dancers. It was as though we were in a ballroom full of people laughing, drinking, chatting. Nothing bothered them, and they looked at Corb and me with nothing but awe and respect, tilting glasses toward us, bowing and curtsying as they passed. My mouth fell open, and I gawked at them in their finery, with masks upon their faces, ornate and glimmering beneath the shining ice chandeliers.

“Honey wine, milady?” A waiter announced, holding out a tray of glasses. Each drink was decorated with beads of ice. In fact, the glasses themselves looked to be made of hardened ice, but they were as clear as crystal, showing off the bubbling honey wine inside. I took one and glared perplexedly at Corb as he also took one and sipped at it. His eyes shined, though without irises, there was no way he’d be mistaken for a mortal.

Laughter and murmurs of conversation echoed across the room.

“What is this, Corb? An illusion?”

“No. This… is my kingdom. I have always kept it hidden from prying eyes. Only the Ancients can see my court as it truly is. These are faeries who have chosen to join my hierarchy and live invisible to all except my court. It keeps them safe, which is what they came here for in the first place. We all have courts, my dear, sweet Shade. Now you can see it, but when you were but a mere human, you hadn’t the capacity to perceive it as it truly is.”

“They were here? The entire time Dylan and I roamed these halls?”

He nodded. “Yes, they were. Who do you think made your meals? Laundered your clothes? Cleaned up after you two? You are pretty high maintenance for a human.”

“They could see us but we couldn’t see them?” I mumbled, stupefied. I couldn’t imagine this had been going on around me the entire time. Before, the invasion of privacy would have shocked me. Now it was all just amusing to observe. These people were from all parts of the faery world, exiled, tossed to the wolves, left on the sidelines. They were the abandoned souls of faery, the outcasts and the abhorrent. This was their safe harbor and paradise.

“Yes. They see everything, but no one sees them except each other and us. As Ancients, we are their rulers. It’s another dimension where we are truly their gods.”

I stared at the crowd, feeling less shocked and more enticed to begin dancing. Were they bespelled? Was it truly as charming as it appeared, or was this another illusion? I couldn’t tell the difference, could I?

No, I could. I was immune to all magical glamours and spells. No one could hide anything from me anymore. This realization made me smile as I turned toward Corb, knowing it might remind him of the past, perhaps with Kilara, but there was a point to this. To kill the past, one must make a future.

“Dance with me.” I held out my hand. I wanted to feel the music in my bones, to feel alive again. Only movement could reawaken the sleeping girl inside me, even if it meant evoking Kilara’s memories. I had to know every bit of myself if I wanted to find my way back.

Corb gave me a funny look, and a flash of something surfaced in his eyes. Was he thinking of Kilara? Did I really care? No, I did not. She was gone, and even though her actions had destroyed everything I loved, I would overcome it all. I could do it now, even if it took me an eternity.

I tugged at his hand and pulled him to the dance floor. They were dancing a traditional waltz, and he took the position as lead, placing a hand on my waist with the other gripping on to my free hand. He stared hard into my eyes, and I did not waver or look away. Letting him lead us around the dance floor, I let the music fill me where I was empty. The hole was fathoms deep.

My children, Dylan, Soap, my sister and brothers… where were they now? Were they okay? Was Anna any better?

I gasped, feeling suddenly dizzy, and the entire room froze.

“Shade? Are you all right?” Corb stopped and held me out at arm’s length, his eyes bewildered.

“I—I left my sister when she was sick. I left my family when they needed me. Soap is frozen in sleep, and I left him!”

“You did not leave them. You are not the same person you were before. You cannot continue living the same way.”

“But… you don’t get it. I would never leave them, and I did.” I stepped back, horrified, barely aware that everyone in the room had frozen. All the people who’d been laughing and dancing were still, unable to move. Eyes blinked around the room, making it very apparent to me that they were all still alive, only unable to speak, unable to dance, unable to scream.

“Shade, it’s all right. This new life is just that, new. All of us had to go through this. It gets easier, trust me. You may even be able to return to your family in time. You need a chance to adjust, as they do. You need to breathe.”

“I can’t breathe. I’m stuck, I’m stuck.” I grasped at my neck, feeling like the air had disappeared. Everyone in the room moved at once, all mimicking my movements, grasping at their throats and gasping for air in horrified silence.

“Shade!” Corb’s voice pulled me back, and the look of horror on his face made me realize something was wrong. “Shade, you need to breathe. You’re killing them. They cannot breathe either. Whatever you do, they do. They’re under your thrall.”

I shook my head as I gasped and whirled around. The room continued to spin, the dancers turning paler than they had been before. They gasped, their hands at their throats like mine. They spun.

“How?” I stopped and closed my eyes. I had to breathe. I was killing Corb’s court without meaning to do so. How was this even happening? And was he helpless to stop me?

Breathe, Shade. Breathe.

I let go of my throat, air squealing as it passed down my esophagus. Finally, I heaved breaths of air as I fell to my knees. The same moment, the mass of courtesans also dropped to the icy ground in unison. The icy palace rumbled beneath my feet, discontent with my magical intrusion.

This was it. I had killed them all.