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“I wasn’t entirely honest with you,” I tell Alarick and the group of bikers all glaring at me as I speak. “It’s not as safe as you thought, nor is it as easy to get to Benedict. It’s possible, but it’s dangerous. I’m not going to lie to you any further, so I will tell you that I wanted you to get hurt, I wanted you all to get caught out. I was angry, I was bitter, but I’m telling you the truth now.”
“You were goin’ to have my club ambushed?” Alarick growls.
“Yes,” I say honestly. “Yes, I was.”
“What makes me believe you’re tellin’ the truth now?”
I glance at Cohen. “Because I trust that you’ll have my back and make sure nothing bad happens to me. In exchange, I’m coming clean. I didn’t have to, but I am. I’m choosing to try and leave the past behind and to do that, I have to be honest.”
Alarick stares at Cohen and then back at me. “You put her up to this?”
Cohen shrugs. “I gave her the truth, she gave me the truth. Fair deal.”
“So, we’re fucked then?” Kendric growls, clenching his fists. “We’re goin’ to walk into a fuckin’ battle with wooden swords.”
So dramatic.
“No, you’re not fucked,” I say, crossing my arms. “And wood can do a lot of damage.”
“Don’t be fuckin’ smart with me,” he warns.
I give him a grin to try and ease the anger flowing out of him, then I look back to Alarick. “I know where Benedict spends a lot of his time. I can get him alone. When I do that, you can take him. Once you’ve got him, the hardest part is over. As for where the rest of them are, that’ll be easy enough because they don’t allow a lot of people there so you’ll have more than enough men.”
“You’re goin’ to risk your life, so we can get Benedict?”
“You’re risking your life to take out those men after me, I think it’s a fair trade.”
“No fuckin’ way,” Cohen growls. “We know nothin’ about this fucker and you’re not goin’ anywhere with him alone. One thing we’ve learned from all of this, is that nothin’ we do is secret. If he has any idea you’re comin’, you’ll be killed.”
I glance at Cohen. “It’s the only option. He sees a group of bikers coming for him, he’s going to have a hell of a lot more men than you can take on after you. If I go alone, I have more chance of getting him alone. He liked me, believe me when I say he’ll be happy to see me.”
“And if he questions why you’re not with that fucker who held you captive?” Alarick questions.
“Then I’ll tell him the truth, I ran away. If he still communicates with him, then he’ll know for certain that I’ve gone. If I lie, he’ll know, and it’ll be over. So, I’ll tell him the truth and hope that maybe he takes it as his chance to have me, which he always wanted.”
“It’s too fuckin’ risky,” Cohen growls. “I won’t allow it.”
“We have no other options,” Mykel says, leaning back in his chair. “We’re walkin’ into an ambush if we try to go in alone. The only way to get this fucker out, is for Aviana to do it.”
“Gotta agree,” Samson mutters. “Seems like the only option.”
“It’s fuckin’ suicide!” Cohen barks, clenching his fists.
“It’s our only choice,” Alarick calmly tells him. “We’re sendin’ her in.”
“No,” Cohen growls. “No, you’re fuckin’ not.”
“Cohen,” I say, my voice steady and careful. “I know this man better than any of you. This is our only choice. Let me do this, please.”
Cohen walks over to me, leaning in close. “I let you down once before and because of that your life was fuckin’ ruined. I will not let that happen again.”
My heart twists, and I want to say so many things, but now is not the time.
“The difference between then and now is that this time I have a choice. This is what I want to do.”
“You could die.”
“If I do so bringing this operation down, it’s worth the risk.”
Cohen shakes his head. “I can’t let you do this.”
“You don’t have a choice.”
With an angry growl, he turns and walks out of the room, slamming the door so hard it shakes the frame.
“He’ll get over it,” Alarick says, then looks to Kendric. “Zariah meetin’ us tomorrow still?”
“Yeah, she had some shit to sort out but she’s going to be here.”
“Good, get her onto looking into Benedict more before she comes, anything we can find out the better.”
Kendric nods and stands, leaving the room.
Mykel looks to me. “You sure you’re good with this?”
I nod.
“You’re braver than me, girl.”
I laugh. “I hope so.”
He grins at me and then leaves the room too, Samson following him out, but not before he gives my shoulder a squeeze. I’m doing this for him, too. For his daughter. She doesn’t deserve to live out there with people like that. She deserves to be home, to be safe.
“We’ll have eyes on you at all times, anything goes wrong, we’ll be there,” Alarick tells me.
“I know,” I say, nodding. “I should go and talk to Cohen.”
I reach the door when Alarick calls my name.
I turn back and look at him.
“Appreciate your honesty, but know this, if you try to do anythin’ to hurt my family, I will take you out. Is that clear?”
I nod. “It’s clear.”
“Good.”
I walk out, exhaling as I do.
One step at a time.
That’s all I can do right now.
Just take one damned step at a time.
And hope like hell it works out.
~*~*~*~
“WE NEED TO GO OUT AND drink.”
Waverly’s voice fills the motel room we’re sitting in, silently. We’re one more town away from Benedict now, and the closer we get, the more I realize what I’ve signed up to do. It is dangerous, that’s for damned certain, it’s also the only option. If something happens to me, then it’s all over. For them. For me. For all of us.
I have to be smart.
“I agree,” Briella stands, clapping her hands together. “We’ve been moping around these motel rooms for days. I’m bored out of my mind. Let’s go to the bar and drink away this misery.”
“Sounds good to me,” I say, standing too.
“Fuck it, let’s go,” Alarick murmurs, taking Briella’s hand and pulling her closer to him.
She smiles up at him, and the love I can see in her eyes make my heart yearn for the same thing. Not only that, but it makes me wish I had the same friendship with her that I had years ago. I haven’t exactly made things easy since I came home, and I can feel the distance between us. Maybe tonight is a good time to change that.
We all clean up and then head to the local bar.
We could be being followed, there is a high chance of that, so Alarick is careful on his journey there, making sure to keep an eye out and see if anyone is behind us. We arrive and the bar is just starting to become busy. People are walking in and out, music is playing, and the smell of pizza wafts out.
I need this more than I realized until this very moment.
We all get out and with another check around, we head inside.
After finding a booth, we order a round of shots and after a few of those burning our throats, we relax a little. I’m squashed into the seat next to Cohen and I can feel his body pressed against mine, his hard biceps moving when he lifts his arm to take a drink. There is a funny fluttering feeling in my tummy, a feeling I’m not overly familiar with. I like it, though. I like how it makes me feel.
My mind continues to wander back to the night he was making love to me, and how good it felt. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, and the more I do, the more I want him. More of him, everything he has got to offer.
“We should dance!” Waverly cries, throwing her hands up.
“Bikers don’t fuckin’ dance,” Mykel mutters.
“Oh, come on, it’ll be fun. It’ll do you good.”
“Didn’t do me good in New York, won’t do me good now.”
Waverly rolls her eyes. I can’t help but smile at the two of them; they’re perfect together. She is the best woman you could pick for Mykel. They match in a way that I long for.
“I’m up for a dance.” Briella grins. “Let’s do this. C’mon, Merleigh, Avi, let’s go.”
Fuck it.
I used to love a good dance.
I stand and climb out of the booth, sliding past Cohen. I don’t miss the deep growl he gives me when my ass rubs against his chest on the way past. I like the power that gives me, the deep feeling in my chest that gives me the kind of confidence I haven’t felt in a very long time.
I haven’t danced in a long time, and gosh, I have missed it.
We reach the dance floor and start moving right away. I sway my hips, throwing my hands up, and a huge smile breaks out over my face. I haven’t felt so free in such a long time. Briella dances beside me, and her laughter fills the room as she takes my hand and spins me around. “I’ve missed this,” she yells over the music. “We used to dance all the time.”
“Yeah,” I yell back. “I’ve missed it too.”
The smile she gives me is so genuine it makes my heart ache. I didn’t realize just how much I’ve needed her until this very moment. My walls have been up so high that I’ve not let any emotions in. That wasn’t healthy, and I’m beginning to realize just how close I came to losing everything because of it.
“I’m so glad you’re back, Avi,” Briella throws her arms around me.
The first time she did this, I wanted her hands off me.
This time, though.
Well, it doesn’t feel so bad.
I hug her back, and then we both laugh and continue dancing. Only when we’ve exhausted ourselves do we finally slow down and go back to the table for a drink. All the guys are on another round, and all of them seem a whole lot more relaxed now than they did half an hour ago. Waverly was right, we all needed this.
“We should go to a club,” Briella cries when she slides back into her seat. “I want to dance the night away.”
“Yes!” I yell. “Yes, let’s go.”
Alarick glances at Briella, a small smile spreading across his face. “This is goin’ to be messy later, ain’t it?”
Briella giggles. “Probably.”
“Well then, let’s get to it.”
We all stand and shuffle out of the club. The moment we reach the sidewalk, the fresh air tickles my face and I realize I’m pretty well on my way to being smashed. The truth is though, I don’t mind. I really don’t mind. It feels incredible feeling like this. This is something I never thought I’d experience again.
We walk down the street, chatting and laughing.
Cohen and I walk side by side and as the streets get quieter, I can finally hear him when he talks to me.
“I like this side of you,” he tells me, facing forward as he walks.
“I like this side of me, too.”
“Glad to see it comin’ back.”
So am I, believe me.
“I feel like since I’ve been back, we’ve skipped over so much replacing it with utter hatred. We were friends once, right?”
He side eyes me and nods. “Once, yeah.”
“Can’t we be again?”
“Bit hard when all I want to do is push you down that alley, lift that fuckin’ tiny dress, and bury my mouth in your pussy.”
I’m stunned.
Utterly stunned.
I didn’t expect that to come out of his mouth. I stop walking and look to him, staring up at his handsome face. “You want to fuck me?”
“I want to do more than fuck you, Aviana, I want to fuckin’ devour you.”
Oh.
My.
God.
I bite my bottom lip and give him the most teasing smile I can conjure up. “Well, if you play your cards right, tonight might just be your lucky night.”
Then I keep walking.
He growls and follows me.
“It’s clear there isn’t a Mrs. Cohen, what happened there?”
His jaw gets tight. “Never found anyone that filled the spot.”
“What spot?”
“The spot you left wide fuckin’ open. Nobody matched up to the connection we had. Didn’t even come close.”
He was aching for me, all this time?
My heart feels like it’s going to explode.
I didn’t realize until this very moment that he was likely suffering far more than I realized because he sent me away.
I was so wrapped up in my revenge and my pain that I didn’t stop to think that he was hurting too.
“We did have a great connection,” I say, my voice softer now. “We can have that again.”
“Maybe,” he murmurs.
“You don’t think it’s possible?”
He glances at me, his face blank. “I don’t know if we can ever truly move past the hurt. I don’t know if you’ll ever really get over what I did to you. Don’t want to spend the rest of my life bein’ reminded of the one fuckin’ mistake I made every single time we argue.”
“So that’s it then? You’re not even going to try?”
My voice is stern now, maybe a little snippy.
“I don’t know what I’m goin’ to fuckin’ do, Aviana.”
“Well, if you wait too long, someone else will figure it out for you.”
I walk ahead of him, shame and anger swirling around in my chest. Of course I didn’t expect him to just be my friend again and the entirety of our past would disappear, but I did figure that since we both chose to try and leave the past behind us, that he’d at least try.
I guess I was wrong.
We round a corner and a man steps out in front of us.
I come to a dead stop, my entire body freezing, my whole world stopping.
The air in my lungs stops flowing out and my body turns into a stone, my mind spinning, my heart racing.
There, standing in front of me ... is my brother Manny.
“Manny?” I croak.
How?
It’s not possible.
Manny is dead.