CHAPTER FOUR

SECRET

“So do you have a boyfriend or what?” I said to my sister Ansli after school as I saw her waving good-bye to Hugo.

“I know, right!?” she said, as we both screamed.

We knew we didn’t have a lot of time to talk about it. All our siblings will be out at the car in no time. I wanted to drive to school, but my dad insisted on the first day he’d pick us up. Again, I didn’t know if it was a publicity stunt to show that he was the best dad in the world and to show his constituents that he truly supported public schools or if it was because he loved us. However, as soon as I saw him with his arms open wide, although I wasn’t in kindergarten anymore, I knew it was because he loved us. No cameras were around, no reporters, no witnesses, just a father happy to see his girls.

“Don’t you say anything to Dad either. This is between us,” Ansli tugged on me and whispered.

“I got you.”

“See you later, Shelby,” Spencer said as he came from nowhere and headed toward the parking lot.

“Wait, isn’t that that joker … he’s Mr. Brown’s son? The troublemaker goes to school here?” my dad said.

Insulted, I defended, “He’s not a troublemaker, Dad. If you just let me explain.”

“You know what I told you. I’m not getting into anyone else’s family drama, but I saw the way he was looking at you and the way you were looking back at him. His butt can’t do nothing for you but keep on walking,” my father voiced.

I was so irritated. My dad had Spencer pegged all wrong. He wasn’t a hothead. He was actually quite level-headed and actually had me thinking about my future.

When my three other sisters came out of school, my dad became preoccupied because the chatterboxes, particularly Sloan, wouldn’t stop going on about the day.

That gave Ansli the chance to tug on my ear and say, “So you didn’t text me and tell me Spencer was here. Y’all were making goo-goo eyes. What is going on?”

“Nothing. He is just cool, and I don’t want to talk about this now.”

“Oh, no need to talk later. No secrets between us, Miss Thang.”

Later after dinner, I was helping my mom straighten up the kitchen. We had a maid, but she was off on Mondays. Spencer’s idea would not leave my brain. I needed to chat with her.

“Mom, why do people always say, ‘Do you know what you want to be when you grow up?’ Like why do you have to grow up to know what you want to be? Is it silly for a young person to start their career before they go to college? Is a degree the only thing that says one is qualified to pursue her dreams?”

She stopped cleaning and squinted my way, “It’s just something we say. I guess more times than not, adults don’t want kids to grow up until they have to. But if there’s something deep inside of you yearning to come out, there’s absolutely nothing wrong in going for it. And when I think about it, most kids don’t really think about their future until the last minute. Why are you asking all of this? You ready to be my lawyer?”

“Mom, come on. That’s your dream for me.”

“I just want you to go after something sensible. A lot of kids have pie-in-the-sky dreams. Like Slade wanting to be a singer. If you ask most African American males, they want to play sports. I mean come on. There’re not many Rihannas and LeBron Jameses out there, but every state and every city has tons of attorneys, doctors, and educators. I just thought you would want to take over your dad’s practice one day, that’s all.”

Yes, I was inquisitive. And yes, I helped my mom step up her attorney wardrobe, but not because I was interested in the profession. She completely misunderstood. I just got tired of seeing attorneys so uptight. Suits could be fun. Splashes of colors here and there, the right cut, the right fit, the right tug, the right snug. She just needed glamorizing, and I helped. I had a gift, and I guess it was eating me up that I had to keep it to myself because my mother didn’t think I could make a living pursuing it.

“Why don’t you go start your homework?”

“It’s the first day of school, Mom. We don’t have any homework.”

“Well, read ahead. We’ve always talked about that. That’s another thing that kills me with kids. Just because the teacher didn’t tell you to finish reading chapter 1 in whatever class you have, that does not mean that you don’t need to use common sense. Follow the syllabus, and get ahead!”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said a little deflated that I wasn’t getting the encouragement from her that I desired.

I went to my room and, taking her advice, pulled out my government book and began reading chapter 1. Our assignment was to read it in class and answer questions, but because Mr. Freeman talked to me the whole class period, I never read it. He told me I didn’t have to turn in the assignment, but my mom was right. It’s best to be ahead, and I certainly did not want to be behind. So I got through the chapter. It was full of people that came here with dreams and told how our government was first started. While I thought it was jacked up how they did the Native Americans, I appreciated their passion.

I need to be able to show my mom that I could be a fashion designer. If it’s what I wanted, then I needed to start now and go after it wholeheartedly. I loved my scart, but it was time for me to sketch. I had no idea what I was going to create, but I thought about the characters I met—Lyrica, Jazzy Jay, and others I passed in the hallway—and the next coolest outfit for today’s modern kid went from my brain to the canvas. When the three stooges came in to tell me good night, Sloan snatched the paper away.

“You are so good,” Sloan said.

“I think I want to start now, you guys. I know I want to be a fashion designer, and I want to see my clothes in the hallways.”

“Yeah, everybody was loving your jacket,” Slade said.

“People really liked the one I had on too,” Yuri added.

“So what are you waiting for?” Sloan asked.

“I don’t know. In most people’s eyes, I’m still a kid.”

Sloan placed her hand on her hip and said, “And? So … you got talent.”

My cell phone was ringing. I didn’t recognize the number.

“Alright, y’all, go ahead and go … Hello?”

“Hey. It’s me—Spencer. Sorry to just call you out of the blue like this.”

“How did you get my number?” I asked.

“I can’t tell,” he teased.

“Jazzy Jay gave it to you.”

Spencer admitted, “Okay. Keep it between us though. He didn’t want you to know that he gave it up. Is it alright that I called though? I saw you with your dad, and the way he was checking me out was like, ‘Leave my baby alone.’”

“He’ll be alright, but I wanted to thank you. It’s ironic that you called because I’m going to take your advice. I’m going to let what’s inside of me come out. I’m not going to keep my dreams bottled up any longer. I’m going to be a fashion designer. I’m going to be one now, and I got you to thank.”

“That’s what’s up,” he said.

And I couldn’t let him know it, but the way he said it and the fact that he called and the way he looked at me when he was leaving school made my heart go pitter-patter. We had something in the making. Truth be told, that is what was up.

“Okay, foxy lady. You’re going to be a designer. About time you made up your mind. Where have you been all my life?” Jazzy Jay said the next morning when he and I were in fashion merchandising class.

“So are you and Spencer talking now?” I asked unsure, leaning in closer to him, wanting to know the scoop.

“And if we are, you jealous?”

“No, because obviously you’re talking about me.”

We laughed. He filled me in on Spencer wanting my number.

Marks High School wasn’t going to be half bad. It didn’t just give the basics; it had the arts, some technical pieces, and career pathway classes. I had fashion merchandising and criminal justice. Taking a law class was the only way my mother would approve my schedule. They were both electives, but for some reason, she really thought I was going to be her. She had four other daughters for that. Although I couldn’t see any of them wanting to be an attorney either. I just wanted her to lay off of me. Let me forge my own trail. Let me make my own way. Any person in her right mind knew most attorneys in America had stable jobs and great incomes. That profession was a promising career that yielded great results; however, being a lawyer was not in me. She didn’t need to push it. The only way I could show her that I was destined to do something else was to take my dreams seriously and believe in myself even if no one else was.

“So what’s up? We’re sitting here waiting on the teacher to come in the classroom, so are you going to be a designer or what?”

“I mean, I want to …”

“Yeah.”

“But I don’t know how. I need a mentor or something.”

“Well, that’s what I was hoping you’d say, but don’t sweat it. After school let’s swing by to visit my cousin.”

“I don’t know,” I said, forgetting that his cousin was the hottest up-and-coming fashion designer in the South.

“So you don’t want to meet Sydnee Sheldon? The new Gloria Vanderbilt, Bill Blass, and Guess of our time, who’s got the hottest jeans out, baby.”

Thankfully, Ansli and I both drove today. We have twin Chevy Sonics except hers was a hatchback, and mine was the standard fourdoor. Hers was red, and mine was white. There was a yearbook staff meeting after school, and she wanted to get into some activities. My other siblings would have to wait on her so I could go with Jazzy to meet Sydnee.

“How do you know she’ll help me? How do you know she’ll talk to me?”

“Because I already set it up, boo. Don’tcha know who ya talking to? I don’t play. Just tell me what you need, and Jazzy Jay can get it indeed. Alright … alright!”

“You all need to settle down. This is a classroom full of seniors not kindergartners,” Ms. Anderson, our teacher who looked like she had anything but style, came in the door and said. I couldn’t get any more from Jay for the rest of the class.

“Give me that thing around your neck,” Jazzy Jay said to me as we were walking into the cafeteria.

“No,” I voiced as he proceeded to try to take it.

“You want to sell some, don’t you?”

Realizing he was serious, I took it off, and he put it on. He wasn’t wearing it any way that I would have preferred, but it still looked darn good. He was walking as if he was on a runway, and a whole bunch of people’s heads were turning.

“How much you selling them for?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, you better come up with a price.”

“Twenty.”

“Too high. Ain’t none of us workin’.”

I said quickly as I calculated that I’d still have a profit, “Ten.”

“Sweet. I want a dollar for every one of them I sell.”

“Okay,” I agreed, and he pranced away.

I was alone at the table until Spencer came up. “Is this seat taken?”

“Jazzy will want it, I’m sure.”

“Please, he’s too busy trying to make a dollar.”

“Well, sit then.”

“So, he texted me and told me you two were going to meet his cousin,” Spencer said, showing interest.

I teased, “You better watch it. You two are getting mighty close.”

“It’s cool. He knows I have my eye on another,” Spencer said, looking deep into my eyes.

I had to take a very deep breath. That moment froze in my mind the rest of the day. I should have been so excited getting to meet a twenty-five-year-old designer who was taking the fashion industry by storm, but I couldn’t help thinking about Spencer. He said his eye was on somebody, and his eye was locked on me. The rest of the day was a blur.

“Earth to Shelby! Come on. Let’s get out of the car. We’re here,” Jazzy Jay said when I drove to Sydnee’s downtown brownstone. “Hurry up. She’s waiting on us. Come on.”

“So this is Shelby Sharp. I’m so excited to meet you,” Sydnee said as she let us in to the immaculate store.

She took me around and was really nice. She was way taller than me. I don’t see how she was related to Jazzy. She was on point. She had it all together, but why was she sort of fawning all over me?

“I’m just going to be real. I’ve got a big fashion show coming up in a couple of weeks, and when Jazzy Jay called me and asked if I wanted to meet you, I thought, ‘That’d be great!’”

“You did?”

“Yes! Because, cutting straight to the chase, I need your help. Your dad is going to win mayor. I want to get on his side now. If he can come to my event now and bring the press with him … ahh that just ups my stock. Can you help me?” Sydnee asked.

The only thing I could think of was Spencer saying in my ear, “See, here is one of those opportunities. Somebody needs something from you, but you need something from them … work it, leverage it, get what you need.”

“I can do that if you mentor me,” I blurted out.

Her shrewd eyes looked me up and down. I guess she underestimated me, but she stuck out her hand and said, “Done.”

Now, I had created a problem. How in the world was I going to get my dad to the show without him knowing what I was doing? Ugh, what have I gotten myself into?

“Hello?” I said when I picked up the phone later that evening, excited to see it was Sydnee Sheldon’s number. “Ms. Sheldon?”

“You can call me Sydnee. I just wanted to tell you it was great meeting you, and I wanted to see if I could talk to your dad to give him any details he might need about my fashion show.”

A lump went into my throat at that moment. I hadn’t even mentioned it to my father. Was she serious?

“Is he around? I know I’m catching you on the spot, but I believe in getting things done.”

One thing I was learning about people who were entrepreneurs is that they weren’t shy. If you wanted something, you had to go after it, but I wasn’t planning on telling my dad what was up. I just want to get him there, and once he was anywhere where cameras were, he would do his thing and deliver. But now, she wanted to talk to him?

“Well, maybe when I come next time to hang out with you, learn the business, stuff like that, you could talk to him then.”

“No, I need to talk to him before then. Your mom or somebody. I’m not just going to work with you and not have your parents aware we have a deal. I need to make sure that deal is in place. I can’t tell you how many people I hooked up with who didn’t hold up their end of the deal.”

“I wouldn’t do that.”

“I know you wouldn’t intentionally do that, but if I’m going to be telling people your dad is coming, putting his name on posters and stuff, then I need permission to use his name and likeness. Is there going to be a problem with that, Shelby?”

In so many ways there was a big problem with that, but I had to keep cool. I had to figure this out. The only thing I could say to her was, “I’ll get back to you.”

“Okay, don’t come back around here until you do. I hate to sound curt, but this is business, you know?”

As soon as I hung up with Sydnee, I went into my dad’s study. “Dad, how’s the campaign going?”

“You’re mighty chipper. What do you want, Shelby Grace?” he asked, knowing me. He always called me Shelby Grace when he knew I was up to something.

“Go ahead and sit down, Shelby. I’m working, honey. Talk to me … tell me what you need.”

In a low tone, I said, “Well I did something.”

“Well, what did you do?” he said, giving me a look.

“I didn’t do anything horrible. I mean, it’s sort of horrible because I didn’t talk to you first, but I’m going for my dreams, Dad, and I know you’d do anything to help me with them, so … it sort of isn’t that bad.”

“Okay, you’re talking all around the edge of this. Give me the point.”

“I want to be a fashion designer, and I met Sydnee Sheldon, the lady …”

Cutting me off, he surprisingly said, “I know who she is. She’s got new jeans that everyone is trying to get in their stores.”

“Exactly! Dang, Dad. You’re hip.”

“She’s been calling my office.”

“She wants you to show up at her fashion show.”

“Yeah, I just don’t know if I need to get out there and endorse any businesses right now.”

“See, here’s the thing. I sort of told her that you were going to go.”

“You did what?” He was not smiling. He was completely serious. I got up out of the chair and took a couple of steps backward toward the door.

“Shelby, what did you do?”

“Well, she wants you to come to her fashion show and has been trying to get in touch with you, and I need a mentor. Like you said, Dad, she’s awesome.”

I pulled out my iPhone and went to the Internet and pulled up some articles.

“You don’t have to sell me on her. I know she’s great.”

“And so I was wrong to try to get you committed without you’re approval, but she’ll only help me if you’re gonna come to her thing. I need this, Dad, bad. She can help take me to another level. She’s so young, and I know she gets my designs, but I know she’d only give me a chance because of who my dad is. I’m just trying to learn to leverage that. Isn’t that what politics is all about? Promising things to your constituents so you can get their vote?”

“Okay,” he said, cracking just a little in my favor. “I like where you’re going with this. I don’t see the harm in showing up. You need to clear this with your mom though.”

“Thank you, Daddy! Thank you!” I said as I rushed over and kissed him really hard on the cheek and hugged him even harder.

“But do not do that to me again. Seriously, there’re going to be a lot of guys coming to you girls wanting things. Particularly if I win, they will want you to get them to me. Don’t let them use you, and for sure, don’t use me.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”

“Alright. Get out of here.”

Two days later, after both of my parents talked to Sydnee and agreed I could learn from her, I was at her shop. I was super excited. Getting a chance to learn from the best was awe-inspiring.

“I love these designs,” she said.

Sydnee explained that she liked my creativity, the out-of-the-box thinking, the cuts, and the lines. Also, when she went into detail explaining what she admired about my work, I knew she wasn’t just blowing smoke and trying to get closer to me. I knew she was taking the mentoring thing very seriously.

“If you go in the back, I got a sketchbook that I used at your age. You’re much further ahead than I was. You might have to look through a couple of boxes, but be careful, and please don’t fall down. It’s on the top shelf in the back room. When you see what I did compared to what you do now, you’ll see you are far better than I was at your age. You got skills, Shelby.”

I was so enthusiastic that I was with her. Just being in her presence, being in her back room, and seeing her fabrics and current sketches made me giddy. Being a part of that creativity was mind-blowing, but now I had to find a book. Not that I wanted to toot my own horn, but I couldn’t believe her sketches were as bad as she was saying they were. But the fact that she was even giving me the privilege to look at them was super fantastic.

Then I heard some scuffling and a male voice getting extremely loud. I peeked out of the curtain, and a guy who was all hugged up with her was now in her place of business growling like a grizzly bear ready to devour her for his dinner or something.

“I gave you five hundred dollars yesterday, Brian. I’m not giving you any more cash. I need it all for the fashion show.”

And then I saw this Brian guy take his hand and throw a rack of clothes to the ground. She started shaking, and before she could run away, he grabbed the back of her shirt, turned her around, and punched her. Sydnee Sheldon, the great up-and-coming fashion designer, didn’t have a perfect life after all. She had an abusive man in her life. I’d stumbled into another horrible secret.