When she opened the door to their apartment, her father’s guitar stopped.
“Nicky?!”
He appeared at the top of the stairs, then ran down and took her by the shoulders. “Where have you been? I was about to call the troopers. I just got back from the mill and couldn’t find you anywhere.”
“Clete and I were on the boat, just fishing for…” She tried to remember the word Clete had told her, by way of excuse. “Duskies. In the channel,” she added.
She sat on the bench and started pulling off her boots, trying to act calm. Her father’s eyes appeared large and watery behind his glasses. He wore khakis and a button-down shirt.
“Why are you dressed up?” she asked.
“I was out visiting Uncle Cliff at the mill.”
“On a Sunday?”
He paused. “He wanted to show me the floor when things were quiet. That’s a long time to go fishing,” he said.
“The day turned nice, and we stopped on an island and walked in the tide pools. I was having such a good time.”
“Well, that makes me happy,” he said, his voice relieved. “C’mon up. It’s Sunday pizza night. Your sister and I have been cutting up toppings. And next time, if you’re going to be out for so long, tell me. I know you don’t like phones, but fall’s coming, and the days are getting shorter, and I don’t want you out alone in the dark.”
“Sorry, Dad,” Nicky said, hugging him.
They started up the stairs. At the top Josie stood waiting. She grabbed Nicky’s arm as their father passed into the kitchen.
“Let go! What’s your problem?” Nicky asked.
“Where were you?”
“With Clete. On the skiff.”
“You’re lying,” Josie hissed. “I saw Clete’s boat tied up at the harbor.”
Nicky heard the clink of her father stacking plates in the dish rack. He hummed whatever blues song he had been playing, then started to sing. “If I ever get back on the killing floor…”
Nicky unpeeled Josie’s fingers from her arm. “We were in the woods, okay? Did you practice your speech?”
“Yes,” Josie said quickly. The ceiling light was behind her, making her eyes difficult to read. “Don’t ever lie to me,” Josie said flatly. “We’re twins. No secrets.”
“Don’t start telling me about secrets,” Nicky said. “You’ve been keeping secrets since we left Danville.”
“What are you talking about?”
Nicky pulled back. “I’m talking about you don’t talk to me anymore. Or to Dad. You don’t share stuff. You remember when we caught fireflies together on Uncle Max’s farm? Or getting ice cream, or you and Mom yelling at baseball games? Or both of us in our tree, waiting for her to come home?”
Josie stood silhouetted before her. Her green hair appeared black. Her brow furrowed.
“I’m sorry for lying,” Nicky said. “But I want my best friend back. I want my old sister back.”
Josie’s features softened, and her shoulders went slack. Nicky reached out, thinking that her sister might faint. As she did, Josie’s features hardened, and she stood up tall. “You’re deflecting. It’s a beginner’s debate tactic. Bringing emotions into the fight. I’m not going to fall for it. It’s not a big ask, especially if we’re best friends, like you claim. I just don’t want you to lie to me. Is it that complicated?”
In that moment Nicky wanted to tell Josie everything, to share it all, whatever she could do to bring back that softness. To tell her not only that she missed her, missed hugging her, and hearing about what was going through her head, but also about the trees. That she could hear them, and that they had a message for her. They needed her, and this meant—she understood it now—that she needed them, and her sister as well.
She still didn’t know what she, a new person to Alaska, could do to stop a town from voting to cut the trees, or halt an army of chainsaws led by Uncle Cliff and Sven’s brother. But she knew that together, she and Josie could be powerful. They could solve this problem.
Before Nicky could say any of this, Josie disappeared into the television room.
Nicky turned to readjust the photo of the three-masted ship behind her. Then she went into the attic to change out of her wet clothes, making sure to select a long-sleeve shirt to cover her wrists so her father wouldn’t see the scratches left from the thorns on the devil’s club. When she came back down, Josie was drinking a glass of water at the table, watching her warily as she crossed the room to pour one of her own.
“How’s Clete?” her father asked. “Is he as good as Uncle Cliff at driving that skiff?”
She inhaled, glancing at Josie, who watched her. If she was going to tell a lie, she knew she’d need to commit to it.
“He’s better than his dad. He knows all sorts of places for otter, and sea lions. We saw anemones and starfish. He told me the names of different seaweeds, and which were good to eat.”
“Oh yeah? I was thinking maybe we should buy a little skiff for ourselves. You guys could learn to drive like proper Alaska girls. Or we could get kayaks, and paddle to some of the nearby islands.” Nicky took a seat at the table and stared out the window, watching the light dim over Sven’s rusted metal roof, ignoring the burn of Josie’s eyes.
“Nicky, I’m so proud of you,” her father continued. “Having the courage to go out on the water like that and explore. I don’t think any of us are going to be happy here without getting out of our comfort zones. I know it’s difficult not to be able to walk around in the forest. After this big vote on Friday Cliff said he’d be happy to go out with us, and he’ll bring a firearm for bears. Which reminds me: Uncle Cliff gave us some freshly harvested toppings. Let’s get this pizza in the oven.”
Nicky snuck a glance at her sister, who clacked down her empty water glass and stared at her with unblinking eyes. Go away, Nicky thought.
To her surprise, Josie stood.
“I need to work on my speech for Wednesday. Let me know when dinner’s ready.”
“It’s ready,” their father said, holding three balls of dough wrapped in plastic. He tossed one to Josie, who caught it. His movements were lighthearted. He seemed happy, like a great weight had been removed. She knew how angry he would be if he ever discovered that his daughter was lying to him.
“My speech is in three days, and I feel like no one in this house is taking it seriously,” Josie said as she sifted flour over the table for her dough, just like their mother had taught them.
“J, we just spent a good part of today going over it.”
“Until you got all dressed up to go to the tree slaughterhouse.”
“It’s called a lumber mill,” he said, settling at the table and rolling dough beneath his palms.
“What are the toppings?” Nicky asked. Suddenly she was starving.
“Venison, and some of the season’s first winter chanterelles, which your uncle picked while cruising the timber up in Sky River Valley. This is pickled bull kelp Aunt Mall made. How’s that for some pioneer pizza?”
“Blech,” Josie said, refilling her glass at the sink. “Why can’t we just do cheese and sauce like the rest of the world?”
“The rest of the world eats pepperoni, unlike you,” their father said. “Wash your hands.”
Josie turned off the water and returned to the table. “That’s not true. People are starting to realize we can’t keep taking from the earth. That includes deer, and mushrooms.”
Nicky’s father dropped her dough in front of her. “Your uncle spent a lot of time in the woods gathering these mushrooms and processing this animal. I know you don’t eat meat, but you should at least try the chanterelles.”
“Sorry. No earth resources for me.”
Their father threw his hands up. “I don’t know where to start. Where do you think cheese, and tomatoes, and wheat come from?” he said, his voice rising. Then he turned to Nicky, reaching for her wrist. “And what about these scratches? Where’d they come from?” he asked.
“Oh,” she said, snatching her arm back and pulling down the cuff of her sweatshirt. “Clete and I found some anemones down in the tide pools. They’re all spiky.”
“Did Clete say you could eat those too?” Josie asked, her voice heavy with sarcasm. “I mean, that’s amazing. He knows so much. What about some of this bull kelp?” Josie said, using her fingers to pick a shred of green from the bowl. “Did you guys come across this today? Why doesn’t Clete start a wild foods delivery? That way, his dad wouldn’t have to cut down all the trees.”
Nicky rested her eyes on her sister. “Why are you so annoying?”
Josie went red. “Me? You’re the one who’s annoying. You’re like a lost chameleon, trying to blend into a place where you don’t belong—and you know you never will.”
“Girls.” Their father exhaled. “Please. I just want to have a nice Sunday evening.”
Nicky gnawed at the insides of her cheeks as she glared back at her sister. Her bangs had brightened, and she realized that Josie had dyed her hair again—this time even greener, like the spruce needles around town. Probably in response to Aunt Mall’s promise to fix the color.
She didn’t want to fight with Josie. She also hated the feeling of giving any ground to her sour mood, letting it infect everything and everyone around her. Even if all she really wanted to do was eat cheesy pizza, climb the stairs to the attic, and flop down on her bed and cuddle up with Josie and tell her everything. To allow her sister’s straightforward, methodical mind to sort through the evidence and show her the way out of the maze she felt caught inside.
“Your sister’s speech is a good one,” their father said as he used a palm to flatten out the dough. “She doesn’t miss a beat. She almost had me convinced that those trees shouldn’t be cut.”
Nicky turned to her father. “Almost?”
He spooned on red sauce, and shook his head. “Those guys out at the mill, not to mention Uncle Cliff—they depend on lumber for their jobs. This pandemic has left folks here shaken. It’s hard for people to put food on the table.”
“Why don’t they just go out and get mushrooms and shoot deer, like Uncle Cliff?” Josie suggested.
“Some of them probably are doing just that,” their father said, not registering—or ignoring—Josie’s sarcasm.
“Wait. So you agree with Uncle Cliff?” Nicky said incredulously. “You’re going to vote to clear-cut the valley?”
Their father put his hands up, laughing in a lighthearted way that made Nicky want to fling her dough in his face. “Easy, Nick. I’m not sure if I can take both of you angry at me at the same time. First of all, I don’t have a vote, because we’re not residents. But yes, if I could vote, I would probably vote to cut the valley. There are millions of acres of trees left in the forest. This is only a few hundred. I don’t see a reason why those trees should survive, while people like your uncle should be forced off the island, searching for work.”
Anger spread like a fire through Nicky. She didn’t know what to say, or where to start. It felt like a betrayal, like ground she had been sure of, and depended on, was suddenly falling away from beneath her.
“You’re just like the rest of them, aren’t you?” Josie said. “Putting yourself in front of the earth, not even considering that we’re the ones who are going to be picking up your path of destruction. Nicky and me and the rest of our generation.”
He took off his glasses, letting them hang around his neck. He inhaled until his shirt strained at the buttons. “I understand the two of you are passionate. But these things are complicated. It’s not simple, needing to support a family.”
“Mom was the doctor, not you,” Josie snapped. “She was the one who supported our family.”
“Enough!” Their father stood, his face as red as his hair, knocking back the table, toppling the bowls. He slammed his fist down on the wood. Josie’s dough rose into the air, hovering for a moment, before slapping the floor. Both girls stared up at him. Nicky had never seen his face so pinched, his eyes so small. He looked like a monster. “You two have no idea how much your mother and I struggled before either of you were around. No idea! I supported her through the toughest of times. I was the one working with no rest.”
After a moment he calmed. “I’m—I’m sorry,” he stammered. “I’m sorry.”
He left them in the kitchen. Josie slowly picked up her dough, dropped it in the trash can, and went upstairs. Nicky observed the scattered toppings, then reached for a mushroom, expecting the smallest of currents. Nothing.
After a moment, she spread sauce on her dough, picked cheese and mushrooms, venison, and even a few shreds of kelp from the mess on the table, and slipped her pizza into the oven. She was starving. So she would eat alone.