Ah! sad wer we as we did peäce | |
The wold church road, wi’ downcast feäce, | |
The while the bells, that mwoan’d so deep | |
Above our child a-left asleep, | |
Wer now a-zingèn all alive | |
Wi’ tother bells to meäke the vive. | |
But up at woone pleäce we come by, | |
‘Twer hard to keep woone’s two eyes dry; | |
On Steän-cliff road, ’ithin the drong, | |
Up where, as vo’k do pass along, | |
The turnèn stile, a-païnted white, | |
Do sheen by day an’ show by night. | |
Vor always there, as we did goo | |
To church, thik stile did let us drough, | |
Wi’ spreadèn eärms that wheel’d to guide | |
Us each in turn to tother zide. | |
An’ vu’st ov all the train he took | |
My wife, wi’ winsome gaït an’ look; | |
An’ then zent on my little maïd, | |
A-skippèn onward, overjaÿ’d | |
To reach ageän the pleäce o’ pride, | |
Her comely mother’s left han’ zide. | |
An’ then, a-wheelèn roun’, he took | |
On me, ’ithin his third white nook. | |
An’ in the fourth, a-sheäkèn wild, | |
He zent us on our giddy child. | |
But eesterday he guided slow | |
My downcast Jenny, vull o’ woe, | |
An’ then my little maïd in black, | |
A-walkèn softly on her track; | |
An’ after he’d a-turn’d ageän, | |
To let me goo along the leäne, | |
He had noo little bwoy to vill | |
His last white eärms, an’ they stood still. |
The mother of the Muses, we are taught, | |
Is Memory: she has left me; they remain, | |
And shake my shoulder, urging me to sing | |
About the summer days, my loves of old. | |
Alas! alas! is all I can reply. | |
Memory has left me with that name alone, | |
Harmonious name, which other bards may sing, | |
But her bright image in my darkest hour | |
Comes back, in vain comes back, call’d or uncall’d. | |
Forgotten are the names of visitors | |
Ready to press my hand but yesterday; | |
Forgotten are the names of earlier friends | |
Whose genial converse and glad countenance | |
Are fresh as ever to mine ear and eye: | |
To these, when I have written, and besought | |
Remembrance of me, the word Dear alone | |
Hangs on the upper verge, and waits in vain. | |
A blessing wert thou, O oblivion, | |
If thy stream carried only weeds away, | |
But vernal and autumnal flowers alike | |
It hurries down to wither on the strand. |
I have been here before, | |
But when or how I cannot tell: | |
I know the grass beyond the door, | |
The sweet, keen smell, | |
The sighing sound, the lights around the shore. |
You have been mine before, – | |
How long ago I may not know: | |
But just when at that swallow’s soar | |
Your neck turned so, | |
Some veil did fall, – I knew it all of yore. |
Has this been thus before? | |
And shall not thus time’s eddying flight | |
Still with our lives our love restore | |
In death’s despite, | |
And day and night yield one delight once more? |
It once might have been, once only: | |
We lodged in a street together, | |
You, a sparrow on the housetop lonely, | |
I, a lone she-bird of his feather. |
Your trade was with sticks and clay, | |
You thumbed, thrust, patted and polished, | |
Then laughed ‘They will see some day | |
Smith made, and Gibson demolished.’ |
My business was song, song, song; | |
I chirped, cheeped, trilled and twittered, | |
‘Kate Brown’s on the boards ere long, | |
And Grisi’s existence embittered!’ |
I earned no more by a warble | |
Than you by a sketch in plaster; | |
You wanted a piece of marble, | |
I needed a music-master. |
We studied hard in our styles, | |
Chipped each at a crust like Hindoos, | |
For air looked out on the tiles, | |
For fun watched each other’s windows. |
You lounged, like a boy of the South, | |
Cap and blouse – nay, a bit of beard too; | |
Or you got it, rubbing your mouth | |
With fingers the clay adhered to. |
And I – soon managed to find | |
Weak points in the flower-fence facing, | |
Was forced to put up a blind | |
And be safe in my corset-lacing. |
No harm! It was not my fault | |
If you never turned your eye’s tail up | |
As I shook upon E in alt, | |
Or ran the chromatic scale up: |
For spring bade the sparrows pair, | |
And the boys and girls gave guesses, | |
And stalls in our street looked rare | |
With bulrush and watercresses. |
Why did not you pinch a flower | |
In a pellet of clay and fling it? | |
Why did not I put a power | |
Of thanks in a look, or sing it? |
I did look, sharp as a lynx, | |
(And yet the memory rankles) | |
When models arrived, some minx | |
Tripped up-stairs, she and her ankles. |
But I think I gave you as good! | |
‘That foreign fellow, – who can know | |
How she pays, in a playful mood, | |
For his tuning her that piano?’ |
Could you say so, and never say | |
‘Suppose we join hands and fortunes, | |
And I fetch her from over the way, | |
Her piano, and long tunes and short tunes?’ |
No, no: you would not be rash, | |
Nor I rasher and something over: | |
You’ve to settle yet Gibson’s hash, | |
And Grisi yet lives in clover. |
But you meet the Prince at the Board, | |
I’m queen myself at bals-paré, | |
I’ve married a rich old lord, | |
And you’re dubbed knight and an R.A. |
Each life unfulfilled, you see; | |
It hangs still, patchy and scrappy: | |
We have not sighed deep, laughed free, | |
Starved, feasted, despaired, – been happy. |
And nobody calls you a dunce, | |
And people suppose me clever: | |
This could but have happened once, | |
And we missed it, lost it for ever. |
The thunder mutters louder and more loud | |
With quicker motion hay folks ply the rake | |
Ready to burst slow sails the pitch black cloud | |
And all the gang a bigger haycock make | |
To sit beneath – the woodland winds awake | |
The drops so large wet all thro’ in an hour | |
A tiney flood runs down the leaning rake | |
In the sweet hay yet dry the hay folks cower | |
And some beneath the waggon shun the shower |
(1984)
‘Repeat “You are old, Father William,’ ” said the Caterpillar. | |
Alice folded her hands, and began: – |
‘You are old, Father William,’ the young man said, | |
‘And your hair has become very white; | |
And yet you incessantly stand on your head – | |
Do you think, at your age, it is right?’ |
‘In my youth,’ Father William replied to his son, | |
‘I feared it might injure the brain; | |
But, now that I’m perfectly sure I have none, | |
Why, I do it again and again.’ |
‘You are old,’ said the youth, ‘as I mentioned before, | |
And have grown most uncommonly fat; | |
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door – | |
Pray, what is the reason of that?’ |
‘In my youth,’ said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, | |
‘I kept all my limbs very supple |
By the use of this ointment – one shilling the box – | |
Allow me to sell you a couple?’ |
‘You are old,’ said the youth, ‘and your jaws are too weak | |
For anything tougher than suet; | |
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak – | |
Pray, how did you manage to do it?’ |
‘In my youth,’ said his father, ‘I took to the law, | |
And argued each case with my wife; | |
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw | |
Has lasted the rest of my life.’ |
‘You are old,’ said the youth, ‘one would hardly suppose | |
That your eye was as steady as ever; | |
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose – | |
What made you so awfully clever?’ |
‘I have answered three questions, and that is enough,’ | |
Said his father. ‘Don’t give yourself airs! | |
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? | |
Be off, or I’ll kick you down-stairs!’ |
‘That is not said right,’ said the Caterpillar. | |
(… ) | |
‘Begin at the beginning,’ the King said, very gravely, ‘and go on till you come to the end: then stop.’ | |
There was dead silence in the court, whilst the White Rabbit read out these verses: – |
‘They told me you had been to her, | |
And mentioned me to him: | |
She gave me a good character, | |
But said I could not swim. |
He sent them word I had not gone | |
(We know it to be true): | |
If she should push the matter on, | |
What would become of you? |
I gave her one, they gave him two, | |
You gave us three or more; | |
They all returned from him to you, | |
Though they were mine before. |
If I or she should chance to be | |
Involved in this affair, | |
He trusts to you to set them free, | |
Exactly as we were. |
My notion was that you had been | |
(Before she had this fit) | |
An obstacle that came between | |
Him, and ourselves, and it. |
Don’t let him know she liked them best, | |
For this must ever be | |
A secret, kept from all the rest, | |
Between yourself and me.’ |
‘That’s the most important piece of evidence we’ve heard yet,’ said the King, rubbing his hands… |
The sky is cloudy, yellowed by the smoke. | |
For view there are the houses opposite. | |
Cutting the sky with one long line of wall | |
Like solid fog: far as the eye can stretch | |
Monotony of surface and of form | |
Without a break to hang a guess upon. | |
No bird can make a shadow as it flies, | |
For all is shadow, as in ways o’erhung | |
By thickest canvass, where the golden rays | |
Are clothed in hemp. No figure lingering | |
Pauses to feed the hunger of the eye | |
Or rest a little on the lap of life. | |
All hurry on and look upon the ground, | |
Or glance unmarking at the passers by. | |
The wheels are hurrying too, cabs, carriages | |
All closed, in multiplied identity. | |
The world seems one huge prison-house and court | |
Where men are punished at the slightest cost, | |
With lowest rate of colour, warmth and joy. |
‘There is no God,’ the wicked saith, | |
‘And truly it’s a blessing, | |
For what he might have done with us | |
It’s better only guessing.’ |
‘There is no God,’ a youngster thinks, | |
‘Or really, if there may be, | |
He surely didn’t mean a man | |
Always to be a baby.’ |
‘There is no God, or if there is,’ | |
The tradesman thinks, “twere funny | |
If he should take it ill in me | |
To make a little money.’ |
‘Whether there be,’ the rich man says, | |
‘It matters very little, | |
For I and mine, thank somebody, | |
Are not in want of victual.’ |
Some others, also, to themselves | |
Who scarce so much as doubt it, | |
Think there is none, when they are well, | |
And do not think about it. |
But country folks who live beneath | |
The shadow of the steeple; | |
The parson and the parson’s wife, | |
And mostly married people; |
Youths green and happy in first love, | |
So thankful for illusion; | |
And men caught out in what the world | |
Calls guilt, in first confusion; |
And almost every one when age, | |
Disease, or sorrows strike him, | |
Inclines to think there is a God, | |
Or something very like Him. |
Swallow, my sister, O sister swallow, | |
How can thine heart be full of the spring? | |
A thousand summers are over and dead. | |
What hast thou found in the spring to follow? | |
What hast thou found in thine heart to sing? | |
What wilt thou do when the summer is shed? |
O swallow, sister, O fair swift swallow, | |
Why wilt thou fly after spring to the south, | |
The soft south whither thine heart is set? | |
Shall not the grief of the old time follow? | |
Shall not the song thereof cleave to thy mouth? | |
Hast thou forgotten ere I forget? |
Sister, my sister, O fleet sweet swallow, | |
Thy way is long to the sun and the south; | |
But I, fulfilled of my heart’s desire, | |
Shedding my song upon height, upon hollow, | |
From tawny body and sweet small mouth | |
Feed the heart of the night with fire. |
I the nightingale all spring through, | |
O swallow, sister, O changing swallow, | |
All spring through till the spring be done, | |
Clothed with the light of the night on the dew, | |
Sing, while the hours and the wild birds follow, | |
Take flight and follow and find the sun. |
Sister, my sister, O soft light swallow, | |
Though all things feast in the spring’s guest-chamber, | |
How hast thou heart to be glad thereof yet? | |
For where thou fliest I shall not follow, | |
Till life forget and death remember, | |
Till thou remember and I forget. |
Swallow, my sister, O singing swallow, | |
I know not how thou hast heart to sing. | |
Hast thou the heart? is it all past over? | |
Thy lord the summer is good to follow, | |
And fair the feet of thy lover the spring: | |
But what wilt thou say to the spring thy lover? |
O swallow, sister, O fleeting swallow, | |
My heart in me is a molten ember | |
And over my head the waves have met. | |
But thou wouldst tarry or I would follow, | |
Could I forget or thou remember, | |
Couldst thou remember and I forget. |
O sweet stray sister, O shifting swallow, | |
The heart’s division divideth us. | |
Thy heart is light as a leaf of a tree; | |
But mine goes forth among sea-gulfs hollow | |
To the place of the slaying of Itylus, | |
The feast of Daulis, the Thracian sea. |
O swallow, sister, O rapid swallow, | |
I pray thee sing not a little space. | |
Are not the roofs and the lintels wet? | |
The woven web that was plain to follow, | |
The small slain body, the flowerlike face, | |
Can I remember if thou forget? |
O sister, sister, thy first-begotten! | |
The hands that cling and the feet that follow, | |
The voice of the child’s blood crying yet | |
Who hath remembered me? who hath forgotten? | |
Thou hast forgotten, O summer swallow, | |
But the world shall end when I forget. |
All the night sleep came not upon my eyelids, | |
Shed not dew, nor shook nor unclosed a feather, | |
Yet with lips shut close and with eyes of iron | |
Stood and beheld me. |
Then to me so lying awake a vision | |
Came without sleep over the seas and touched me, | |
Softly touched mine eyelids and lips; and I too, | |
Full of the vision, |
Saw the white implacable Aphrodite, | |
Saw the hair unbound and the feet unsandalled | |
Shine as fire of sunset on western waters; | |
Saw the reluctant |
Feet, the straining plumes of the doves that drew her, | |
Looking always, looking with necks reverted, | |
Back to Lesbos, back to the hills whereunder | |
Shone Mitylene; |
Heard the flying feet of the Loves behind her | |
Make a sudden thunder upon the waters, | |
As the thunder flung from the strong unclosing | |
Wings of a great wind. |
So the goddess fled from her place, with awful | |
Sound of feet and thunder of wings around her; | |
While behind a clamour of singing women | |
Severed the twilight. |
Ah the singing, ah the delight, the passion! | |
All the Loves wept, listening; sick with anguish, | |
Stood the crowned nine Muses about Apollo; | |
Fear was upon them, |
While the tenth sang wonderful things they knew not | |
Ah the tenth, the Lesbian! the nine were silent, | |
None endured the sound of her song for weeping; | |
Laurel by laurel, |
Faded all their crowns; but about her forehead, | |
Round her woven tresses and ashen temples | |
White as dead snow, paler than grass in summer, | |
Ravaged with kisses, |
Shone a light of fire as a crown for ever. | |
Yea, almost the implacable Aphrodite | |
Paused, and almost wept; such a song was that song. |
How comes it, Flora, that, whenever we | |
Play cards together, you invariably, | |
However the pack parts, | |
Still hold the Queen of Hearts? |
I’ve scanned you with a scrutinizing gaze, | |
Resolved to fathom these your secret ways: | |
But, sift them as I will, | |
Your ways are secret still. |
I cut and shuffle; shuffle, cut, again; | |
But all my cutting, shuffling, proves in vain: | |
Vain hope, vain forethought too; | |
That Queen still falls to you. |
I dropped her once, prepense; but, ere the deal | |
Was dealt, your instinct seemed her loss to feel: | |
‘There should be one card more,’ | |
You said, and searched the floor. |
I cheated once; I made a private notch | |
In Heart-Queen’s back, and kept a lynx-eyed watch; | |
Yet such another back | |
Deceived me in the pack: |
The Queen of Clubs assumed by arts unknown | |
An imitative dint that seemed my own; | |
This notch, not of my doing, | |
Misled me to my ruin. |
It baffles me to puzzle out the clue, | |
Which must be skill, or craft, or luck in you: | |
Unless, indeed, it be | |
Natural affinity. |
What would I give for a heart of flesh to warm me thro’, | |
Instead of this heart of stone ice-cold whatever I do; | |
Hard and cold and small, of all hearts the worst of all. |
What would I give for words, if only words would come; | |
But now in its misery my spirit has fallen dumb: | |
O merry friends, go your way, I have never a word to say. |
What would I give for tears, not smiles but scalding tears, | |
To wash the black mark clean, and to thaw the frost of years, | |
To wash the stain ingrain and to make clean again. |
The sea is calm to-night. | |
The tide is full, the moon lies fair | |
Upon the straits; – on the French coast the light | |
Gleams and is gone; the cliffs of England stand, | |
Glimmering and vast, out in the tranquil bay. | |
Come to the window, sweet is the night-air! | |
Only, from the long line of spray | |
Where the sea meets the moon-blanch’d land, | |
Listen! you hear the grating roar | |
Of pebbles which the waves draw back, and fling, | |
At their return, up the high strand, | |
Begin, and cease, and then again begin, | |
With tremulous cadence slow, and bring | |
The eternal note of sadness in. |
Sophocles long ago | |
Heard it on the Aegaean, and it brought | |
Into his mind the turbid ebb and flow | |
Of human misery; we | |
Find also in the sound a thought, | |
Hearing it by this distant northern sea. |
The Sea of Faith | |
Was once, too, at the full, and round earth’s shore | |
Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furl’d. | |
But now I only hear | |
Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar, | |
Retreating, to the breath | |
Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear | |
And naked shingles of the world. |
Ah, love, let us be true | |
To one another! for the world, which seems | |
To lie before us like a land of dreams, | |
So various, so beautiful, so new, | |
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light, | |
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain; | |
And we are here as on a darkling plain | |
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight, | |
Where ignorant armies clash by night. |
(written? 1851)
What is it to grow old? | |
Is it to lose the glory of the form, | |
The lustre of the eye? | |
Is it for beauty to forego her wreath? | |
– Yes, but not this alone. |
Is it to feel our strength – | |
Not our bloom only, but our strength – decay? | |
Is it to feel each limb | |
Grow stiffer, every function less exact, | |
Each nerve more loosely strung? |
Yes, this, and more; but not | |
Ah, ’tis not what in youth we dream’d ’twould be! | |
’Tis not to have our life | |
Mellow’d and soften’d as with sunset-glow, | |
A golden day’s decline. |
’Tis not to see the world | |
As from a height, with rapt prophetic eyes, | |
And heart profoundly stirr’d; | |
And weep, and feel the fulness of the past, | |
The years that are no more. |
It is to spend long days | |
And not once feel that we were ever young; | |
It is to add, immured | |
In the hot prison of the present, month | |
To month with weary pain. |
It is to suffer this, | |
And feel but half, and feebly, what we feel. | |
Deep in our hidden heart | |
Festers the dull remembrance of a change, | |
But no emotion – none. |
It is – last stage of all – | |
When we are frozen up within, and quite | |
The phantom of ourselves, | |
To hear the world applaud the hollow ghost | |
Which blamed the living man. |
With the wasp at the innermost heart of a peach, | |
On a sunny wall out of tip-toe reach, | |
With the trout in the darkest summer pool, | |
With the fern-seed clinging behind its cool | |
Smooth frond, in the chink of an aged tree, | |
In the woodbine’s horn with the drunken bee, | |
With the mouse in its nest in a furrow old, | |
With the chrysalis wrapt in its gauzy fold; | |
With things that are hidden, and safe, and bold, | |
With things that are timid, and shy, and free, | |
Wishing to be; | |
With the nut in its shell, with the seed in its pod, | |
With the corn as it sprouts in the kindly clod, | |
Far down where the secret of beauty shows | |
In the bulb of the tulip, before it blows; | |
With things that are rooted, and firm, and deep, | |
Quiet to lie, and dreamless to sleep; | |
With things that are chainless, and tameless, and proud, | |
With the fire in the jagged thunder-cloud, | |
With the wind in its sleep, with the wind in its waking, | |
With the drops that go to the rainbow’s making, | |
Wishing to be with the light leaves shaking, | |
Or stones on some desolate highway breaking; | |
Far up on the hills, where no foot surprises | |
The dew as it falls, or the dust as it rises; | |
To be couched with the beast in its torrid lair, | |
Or drifting on ice with the polar bear, | |
With the weaver at work at his quiet loom; | |
Anywhere, anywhere, out of this room! |
The tortured mullet served the Roman’s pride | |
By darting round the crystal vase, whose heat | |
Ensured his woe and beauty till he died: | |
These unharm’d gold-fish yield as rich a treat; | |
Seen thus, in parlour-twilight, they appear | |
As though the hand of Midas, hovering o’er, | |
Wrought on the waters, as his touch drew near, | |
And set them glancing with his golden power, | |
The flash of transmutation! In their glass | |
They float and glitter, by no anguish rackt; | |
And, though we see them swelling as they pass, | |
’Tis but a painless and phantasmal act, | |
The trick of their own bellying walls, which charms | |
All eyes – themselves it vexes not, nor harms. |
Will there be snowfall on lofty Soracte | |
After a summer so tranquil and torrid? | |
Whoso detests the east wind, as a fact he | |
Thinks ’twill be horrid. | |
But there are zephyrs more mild by the ocean, | |
Every keen touch of the snowdrifts to lighten: | |
If to be cosy and snug you’ve a notion | |
Winter in Brighton! |
Politics nobody cares about. Spurn a | |
Topic whereby all our happiness suffers. | |
Dolts in the back streets of Brighton return a | |
Couple of duffers. | |
Fawcett and White in the Westminster Hades | |
Strive the reporters’ misfortunes to heighten. | |
What does it matter? Delicious young ladies | |
Winter in Brighton! |
Good is the turtle for luncheon at Mutton’s, | |
Good is the hock that they give you at Bacon’s, | |
Mainwaring’s fruit in the bosom of gluttons | |
Yearning awakens; | |
Buckstone comes hither, delighting the million, | |
‘Mong the theatrical minnows a Triton; | |
Dickens and Lemon pervade the Pavilion: – | |
Winter in Brighton! |
If you’ve a thousand a year, or a minute – | |
If you’re a D’Orsay, whom every one follows – | |
If you’ve a head (it don’t matter what’s in it) | |
Fair as Apollo’s – | |
If you approve of flirtations, good dinners, | |
Seascapes divine which the merry winds whiten, | |
Nice little saints and still nicer young sinners – | |
Winter in Brighton! |
Below the surface-stream, shallow and light, | |
Of what we say we feel – below the stream, | |
As light, of what we think we feel – there flows | |
With noiseless current strong, obscure and deep, | |
The central stream of what we feel indeed. |
Poor little diary, with its simple thoughts, | |
Its good resolves, its ‘Studied French an hour,’ | |
‘Read Modern History,’ ‘Trimmed up my grey hat,’ | |
‘Darned stockings,’ ‘Tatted,’ ‘Practised my new song,’ | |
‘Went to the daily service,’ ‘Took Bess soup,’ | |
‘Went out to tea.’ Poor simple diary! | |
And did I write it? Was I this good girl, | |
This budding colourless young rose of home? | |
Did I so live content in such a life, | |
Seeing no larger scope, nor asking it, | |
Than this small constant round – old clothes to mend, | |
New clothes to make, then go and say my prayers, | |
Or carry soup, or take a little walk | |
And pick the ragged-robins in the hedge? | |
Then, for ambition, (was there ever life | |
That could forego that?) to improve my mind | |
And know French better and sing harder songs; | |
For gaiety, to go, in my best white | |
Well washed and starched and freshened with new bows, | |
And take tea out to meet the clergyman. | |
No wishes and no cares, almost no hopes, | |
Only the young girl’s hazed and golden dreams | |
That veil the Future from her. | |
So long since: | |
And now it seems a jest to talk of me | |
As if I could be one with her, of me | |
Who am… me. | |
And what is that? My looking-glass | |
Answers it passably; a woman sure, | |
No fiend, no slimy thing out of the pools, | |
A woman with a ripe and smiling lip | |
That has no venom in its touch I think, | |
With a white brow on which there is no brand; | |
A woman none dare call not beautiful, | |
Not womanly in every woman’s grace. |
Aye, let me feed upon my beauty thus, | |
Be glad in it like painters when they see | |
At last the face they dreamed but could not find | |
Look from their canvas on them, triumph in it, | |
The dearest thing I have. Why, ’tis my all, | |
Let me make much of it: is it not this, | |
This beauty, my own curse at once and tool | |
To snare men’s souls, (I know what the good say | |
Of beauty in such creatures) is it not this | |
That makes me feel myself a woman still, | |
With still some little pride, some little – | |
Stop! | |
‘Some little pride, some little’ – Here’s a jest! | |
What word will fit the sense but modesty? | |
A wanton I, but modest! | |
Modest, true; | |
I’m not drunk in the streets, ply not for hire | |
At infamous corners with my likenesses | |
Of the humbler kind; yes, modesty’s my word – | |
’Twould shape my mouth well too, I think I’ll try: | |
‘Sir, Mr. What-you-will, Lord Who-knows-what, | |
My present lover or my next to come, | |
Value me at my worth, fill your purse full, | |
For I am modest; yes, and honour me | |
As though your schoolgirl sister or your wife | |
Could let her skirts brush mine or talk of me; | |
For I am modest.’ | |
Well, I flout myself: | |
But yet, but yet – | |
Fie, poor fantastic fool, | |
Why do I play the hypocrite alone, | |
Who am no hypocrite with others by? | |
Where should be my ‘But yet’? I am that thing | |
Called half a dozen dainty names, and none | |
Dainty enough to serve the turn and hide | |
The one coarse English worst that lurks beneath: | |
Just that, no worse, no better. | |
And, for me, | |
I say let no one be above her trade; | |
I own my kindredship with any drab | |
Who sells herself as I, although she crouch | |
In fetid garrets and I have a home | |
All velvet and marqueterie and pastilles, | |
Although she hide her skeleton in rags | |
And I set fashions and wear cobweb lace: | |
The difference lies but in my choicer ware, | |
That I sell beauty and she ugliness; | |
Our traffic’s one – I’m no sweet slaver-tongue | |
To gloze upon it and explain myself | |
A sort of fractious angel misconceived – | |
Our traffic’s one: I own it. And what then? | |
I know of worse that are called honourable. | |
Our lawyers, who with noble eloquence | |
And virtuous outbursts lie to hang a man, | |
Or lie to save him, which way goes the fee: | |
Our preachers, gloating on your future hell | |
For not believing what they doubt themselves: | |
Our doctors, who sort poisons out by chance | |
And wonder how they’ll answer, and grow rich: | |
Our journalists, whose business is to fib | |
And juggle truths and falsehoods to and fro: | |
Our tradesmen, who must keep unspotted names | |
And cheat the least like stealing that they can: | |
Our – all of them, the virtuous worthy men | |
Who feed on the world’s follies, vices, wants, | |
And do their businesses of lies and shams | |
Honestly, reputably, while the world | |
Claps hands and cries ‘good luck,’ which of their trades, | |
Their honourable trades, barefaced like mine, | |
All secrets brazened out, would shew more white? |
And whom do I hurt more than they? as much? | |
The wives? Poor fools, what do I take from them | |
Worth crying for or keeping? If they knew | |
What their fine husbands look like seen by eyes | |
That may perceive there are more men than one! | |
But, if they can, let them just take the pains | |
To keep them: ’tis not such a mighty task | |
To pin an idiot to your apron-string; | |
And wives have an advantage over us, | |
(The good and blind ones have) the smile or pout | |
Leaves them no secret nausea at odd times. | |
Oh, they could keep their husbands if they cared, | |
But ’tis an easier life to let them go, | |
And whimper at it for morality. |
Oh! those shrill carping virtues, safely housed | |
From reach of even a smile that should put red | |
On a decorous cheek, who rail at us | |
With such a spiteful scorn and rancorousness, | |
(Which maybe is half envy at the heart) | |
And boast themselves so measurelessly good | |
And us so measurelessly unlike them, | |
What is their wondrous merit that they stay | |
In comfortable homes whence not a soul | |
Has ever thought of tempting them, and wear | |
No kisses but a husband’s upon lips | |
There is no other man desires to kiss – | |
Refrain in fact from sin impossible? | |
How dare they hate us so? what have they done, | |
What borne, to prove them other than we are? | |
What right have they to scorn us – glass-case saints, | |
Dianas under lock and key – what right | |
More than the well-fed helpless barn-door fowl | |
To scorn the larcenous wild-birds? | |
Pshaw, let be! | |
Scorn or no scorn, what matter for their scorn? | |
I have outfaced my own – that’s harder work. | |
Aye, let their virtuous malice dribble on –. | |
Mock snowstorms on the stage – I’m proof long since: | |
I have looked coolly on my what and why, | |
And I accept myself. |
Weary already, weary miles to-night | |
I walked for bed: and so, to get some ease, | |
I dogged the flying moon with similes. | |
And like a wisp she doubled on my sight | |
In ponds; and caught in tree-tops like a kite; | |
And in a globe of film all liquorish | |
Swam full-faced like a silly silver fish; – | |
Last like a bubble shot the welkin’s height | |
Where my road turned, and got behind me, and sent | |
My wizened shadow craning round at me, | |
And jeered, ‘So, step the measure, – one two three!’ | |
And if I faced on her, looked innocent. | |
But just at parting, halfway down a dell, | |
She kissed me for good-night. So you’ll not tell. |
The wind flapped loose, the wind was still, | |
Shaken out dead from tree and hill: | |
I had walked on at the wind’s will, – | |
I sat now, for the wind was still. |
Between my knees my forehead was, – | |
My lips drawn in, said not Alas! | |
My hair was over in the grass, | |
My naked ears heard the day pass. |
My eyes, wide open, had the run | |
Of some ten weeds to fix upon; | |
Among those few, out of the sun, | |
The woodspurge flowered, three cups in one. |
From perfect grief there need not be | |
Wisdom or even memory: | |
One thing then learnt remains to me, – | |
The woodspurge has a cup of three. |