Poor chap, he always loved larking | |
And now he’s dead | |
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way, | |
They said. |
Oh, no no no, it was too cold always | |
(Still the dead one lay moaning) | |
I was much too far out all my life | |
And not waving but drowning. |
With my looks I am bound to look simple or fast I would rather look simple | |
So I wear a tall hat on the back of my head that is rather a temple | |
And I walk rather queerly and comb my long hair | |
And people say, Don’t bother about her. | |
So in my time I have picked up a good many facts, | |
Rather more than the people do who wear smart hats | |
And I do not deceive because I am rather simple too | |
And although I collect facts I do not always know what they amount to. | |
I regard them as a contribution to almighty Truth, magna est veritas et praevalebit, | |
Agreeing with that Latin writer, Great is Truth and will prevail in a bit. |
Mobile, immaculate and austere, | |
The Pities, their fingers in every wound, | |
Assess the injured on the obscured frontier; | |
Cleanse with a kind of artistry the ground | |
Shared by War. Consultants in new tongues | |
Prove synonymous our separated wrongs. |
We celebrate, fluently and at ease. | |
Traditional Furies, having thrust, hovered, | |
Now decently enough sustain Peace. | |
The unedifying nude dead are soon covered. | |
Survivors, still given to wandering, find | |
Their old loves, painted and re-aligned – |
Queer, familiar, fostered by superb graft | |
On treasured foundations, these ideal features. | |
Men can move with purpose again, or drift, | |
According to direction. Here are statues | |
Darkened by laurel; and evergreen names; | |
Evidently-veiled griefs; impervious tombs. |
Pike, three inches long, perfect | |
Pike in all parts, green tigering the gold. | |
Killers from the egg: the malevolent aged grin. | |
They dance on the surface among the flies. |
Or move, stunned by their own grandeur | |
Over a bed of emerald, silhouette | |
Of submarine delicacy and horror. | |
A hundred feet long in their world. |
In ponds, under the heat-struck lily pads – | |
Gloom of their stillness: | |
Logged on last year’s black leaves, watching upwards. | |
Or hung in an amber cavern of weeds |
The jaws’ hooked clamp and fangs | |
Not to be changed at this date; | |
A life subdued to its instrument; | |
The gills kneading quietly, and the pectorals. |
Three we kept behind glass, | |
Jungled in weed: three inches, four, | |
And four and a half: fed fry to them – | |
Suddenly there were two. Finally one. |
With a sag belly and the grin it was born with. | |
And indeed they spare nobody. | |
Two, six pounds each, over two feet long, | |
High and dry and dead in the willow-herb – |
One jammed past its gills down the other’s gullet: | |
The outside eye stared: as a vice locks – | |
The same iron in this eye | |
Though its film shrank in death. |
A pond I fished, fifty yards across, | |
Whose lilies and muscular tench | |
Had outlasted every visible stone | |
Of the monastery that planted them – |
Stilled legendary depth: | |
It was as deep as England. It held | |
Pike too immense to stir, so immense and old | |
That past nightfall I dared not cast |
But silently cast and fished | |
With the hair frozen on my head | |
For what might move, for what eye might move. | |
The still splashes on the dark pond, |
Owls hushing the floating woods | |
Frail on my ear against the dream | |
Darkness beneath night’s darkness had freed, | |
That rose slowly towards me, watching. |
I have lived in important places, times | |
When great events were decided: who owned | |
That half a rood of rock, a no-man’s land | |
Surrounded by our pitchfork-armed claims. | |
I heard the Duffys shouting ‘Damn your soul’ | |
And old McCabe stripped to the waist, seen | |
Step the plot defying blue cast-steel – | |
‘Here is the march along these iron stones’ | |
That was the year of the Munich bother. Which | |
Was most important? I inclined | |
To lose my faith in Ballyrush and Gortin | |
Till Homer’s ghost came whispering to my mind | |
He said: I made the Iliad from such | |
A local row. Gods make their own importance. |
No, no, no, I know I was not important as I moved | |
Through the colourful country, I was but a single | |
Item in the picture, the namer not the beloved. | |
O tedious man with whom no gods commingle. | |
Beauty, who has described beauty? Once upon a time | |
I had a myth that was a lie but it served: | |
Trees walking across the crests of hills and my rhyme | |
Cavorting on mile-high stilts and the unnerved | |
Crowds looking up with terror in their rational faces. | |
O dance with Kitty Stobling I outrageously | |
Cried out-of-sense to them, while their timorous paces | |
Stumbled behind Jove’s page boy paging me. | |
I had a very pleasant journey, thank you sincerely | |
For giving me my madness back, or nearly. |
A year ago I fell in love with the functional ward | |
Of a chest hospital: square cubicles in a row | |
Plain concrete, wash basins – an art lover’s woe, | |
Not counting how the fellow in the next bed snored. | |
But nothing whatever is by love debarred, | |
The common and banal her heat can know. | |
The corridor led to a stairway and below | |
Was the inexhaustible adventure of a gravelled yard. |
This is what love does to things: the Rialto Bridge, | |
The main gate that was bent by a heavy lorry, | |
The seat at the back of a shed that was a suntrap. | |
Naming these things is the love-act and its pledge; | |
For we must record love’s mystery without claptrap, | |
Snatch out of time the passionate transitory. |
I am a man now. | |
Pass your hand over my brow, | |
You can feel the place where the brains grow. |
I am like a tree, | |
From my top boughs I can see | |
The footprints that led up to me. |
There is blood in my veins | |
That has run clear of the stain | |
Contracted in so many loins. |
Why, then, are my hands red | |
With the blood of so many dead? | |
Is this where I was misled? |
Why are my hands this way | |
That they will not do as I say? | |
Does no God hear when I pray? |
I have nowhere to go. | |
The swift satellites show | |
The clock of my whole being is slow. |
It is too late to start | |
For destinations not of the heart. | |
I must stay here with my hurt. |
Today the sunlight is the paint on lead soldiers | |
Only they are people scattering out of the cool church |
And as they go across the gravel and among the spring streets | |
They spread formality: they know, we know, what they have been doing, |
The old couples, the widowed, the staunch smilers, | |
The deprived and the few nubile young lily-ladies, |
And we know what they will do when they have opened the doors of their houses and walked in: | |
Mostly they will make water, and wash their calm hands and eat. |
The organ’s flourishes finish; the verger closes the doors; | |
The choirboys run home, and the rector goes off in his motor. |
Here a policeman stalks, the sun glinting on his helmet-crest; | |
Then a man pushes a perambulator home; and somebody posts a letter. |
If I sit here long enough, loving it all, I shall see the District Nurse pedal past, | |
The children going to Sunday School and the strollers strolling; |
The lights darting on in different rooms as night comes in; | |
And I shall see washing hung out, and the postman delivering letters. |
I might by exception see an ambulance or the fire brigade | |
Or even, if the chance came round, street musicians (singing and playing). |
For the people I’ve seen, this seems the operation of life: | |
I need the paint of stillness and sunshine to see it that way. |
The secret laugh of the world picks them up and shakes them like peas boiling; | |
They behave as if nothing happened; maybe they no longer notice. |
I notice. I laugh with the laugh, cultivate it, make much of it, | |
But still I don’t know what the joke is, to tell them. | |
![]() |
Waiting for when the sun an hour or less | |
Conveniently oblique makes visible | |
The painting on one wall of this recess | |
By Caravaggio, of the Roman School, | |
I see how shadow in the painting brims | |
With a real shadow, drowning all shapes out | |
But a dim horse’s haunch and various limbs, | |
Until the very subject is in doubt. |
But evening gives the act, beneath the horse | |
And one indifferent groom, I see him sprawl, | |
Foreshortened from the head, with hidden face, | |
Where he has fallen, Saul becoming Paul. | |
O wily painter, limiting the scene | |
From a cacophony of dusty forms | |
To the one convulsion, what is it you mean | |
In that wide gesture of the lifting arms? |
No Ananias croons a mystery yet, | |
Casting the pain out under name of sin. | |
The painter saw what was, an alternate | |
Candour and secrecy inside the skin. | |
He painted, elsewhere, that firm insolent | |
Young whore in Venus’ clothes, those pudgy cheats, | |
Those sharpers; and was strangled, as things went, | |
For money, by one such picked off the streets. |
I turn, hardly enlightened, from the chapel | |
To the dim interior of the church instead, | |
In which there kneel already several people, | |
Mostly old women: each head closeted | |
In tiny fists holds comfort as it can. | |
Their poor arms are too tired for more than this | |
– For the large gesture of solitary man, | |
Resisting, by embracing, nothingness. |
One by one they appear in | |
the darkness: a few friends, and | |
a few with historical | |
names. How late they start to shine! | |
but before they fade they stand | |
perfectly embodied, all |
the past lapping them like a | |
cloak of chaos. They were men | |
who, I thought, lived only to | |
renew the wasteful force they | |
spent with each hot convulsion. | |
They remind me, distant now. |
True, they are not at rest yet, | |
but now that they are indeed | |
apart, winnowed from failures, | |
they withdraw to an orbit | |
and turn with disinterested | |
hard energy, like the stars. |
I wrote: in the dark cavern of our birth. | |
The printer had it tavern, which seems better: | |
But herein lies the subject of our mirth, | |
Since on the next page death appears as dearth. | |
So it may be that God’s word was distraction, | |
Which to our strange type appears destruction, | |
Which is bitter. |
[Apollo Strikes Patroclus] | |
His hand came from the east, | |
And in his wrist lay all eternity; | |
And every atom of his mythic weight | |
Was poised between his fist and bent left leg. | |
Your eyes lurched out. Achilles’ bonnet rang | |
Far and away beneath the cannon-bones of Trojan horses, | |
And you were footless… staggering… amazed… | |
Between the clumps of dying, dying yourself, | |
Dazed by the brilliance in your eyes, | |
The noise – like weirs heard far away – | |
Dabbling your astounded fingers | |
In the vomit on your chest. | |
And all the Trojans lay and stared at you; | |
Propped themselves up and stared at you; | |
Feeling themselves as blest as you felt cursed. | |
All of them lay and stared; | |
And one, a hero boy called Thackta, cast. | |
His javelin went through your calves, | |
Stitching your knees together, and you fell, | |
Not noticing the pain, and tried to crawl | |
Towards the Fleet, and – even now – feeling | |
For Thackta’s ankle – ah! – and got it? No… | |
Not a boy’s ankle that you got, | |
But Hector’s. |
Standing above you, | |
His bronze mask smiling down into your face, | |
Putting his spear through… ach, and saying: | |
‘Why tears, Patroclus? | |
Did you hope to melt Troy down | |
And make our women fetch the ingots home? | |
I can imagine it! | |
You and your marvellous Achilles; | |
Him with an upright finger, saying: | |
“Don’t show your face to me again, Patroclus, | |
Unless it’s red with Hector’s blood.’ ” | |
And Patroclus, | |
Shaking the voice out of his body, says: | |
‘Big mouth. | |
Remember it took three of you to kill me. | |
A god, a boy, and, last and least, a hero. | |
I can hear Death pronounce my name, and yet | |
Somehow it sounds like Hector. | |
And as I close my eyes I see Achilles’ face | |
With Death’s voice coming out of it.’ |
Saying these things Patroclus died. | |
And as his soul went through the sand | |
Hector withdrew his spear and said: | |
‘Perhaps.’ |
What should one | |
wish a child | |
and that, one’s own | |
emerging | |
from between | |
the stone lips | |
of a sheep-stile | |
that divides | |
village graves | |
and village green? | |
– Wish her | |
the constancy of stone. | |
– But stone | |
is hard. | |
– Say, rather | |
it resists | |
the slow corrosives | |
and the flight | |
of time | |
and yet it takes | |
the play, the fluency | |
from light. | |
– How would you know | |
the gift you’d give | |
was the gift | |
she’d wish to have? | |
– Gift is giving, | |
gift is meaning: | |
first | |
I’d give | |
then let her | |
live with it | |
to prove | |
its quality the better and | |
thus learn | |
to love | |
what (to begin with) | |
she might spurn. | |
– You’d | |
moralize a gift? | |
– I’d have her | |
understand | |
the gift I gave her. | |
– And so she shall | |
but let her play | |
her innocence away | |
emerging | |
as she does | |
between | |
her doom (unknown), | |
her unmown green. |
There was Dai Puw. He was no good. | |
They put him in the fields to dock swedes, | |
And took the knife from him, when he came home | |
At late evening with a grin | |
Like the slash of a knife on his face. |
There was Llew Puw, and he was no good. | |
Every evening after the ploughing | |
With the big tractor he would sit in his chair, | |
And stare into the tangled fire garden, | |
Opening his slow lips like a snail. |
There was Huw Puw, too. What shall I say? | |
I have heard him whistling in the hedges | |
On and on, as though winter | |
Would never again leave those fields, | |
And all the trees were deformed. |
And lastly there was the girl: | |
Beauty under some spell of the beast. | |
Her pale face was the lantern | |
By which they read in life’s dark book | |
The shrill sentence: God is love. |
This brand of soap has the same smell as once in the big | |
House he visited when he was eight: the walls of the bathroom open | |
To reveal a lawn where a great yellow ball rolls back through a hoop | |
To rest at the head of a mallet held in the hands of a child. |
And these were the joys of that house: a tower with a telescope; | |
Two great faded globes, one of the earth, one of the stars; | |
A stuffed black dog in the hall; a walled garden with bees; | |
A rabbit warren; a rockery; a vine under glass; the sea. |
To which he has now returned. The day of course is fine | |
And a grown-up voice cries Play! The mallet slowly swings, | |
Then crack, a great gong booms from the dog-dark hall and the ball | |
Skims forward through the hoop and then through the next and then |
Through hoops where no hoops were and each dissolves in turn | |
And the grass has grown head-high and an angry voice cries Play! | |
But the ball is lost and the mallet slipped long since from the hands | |
Under the running tap that are not the hands of a child. |
In the first taxi he was alone tra-la, | |
No extras on the clock. He tipped ninepence | |
But the cabby, while he thanked him, looked askance | |
As though to suggest someone had bummed a ride. |
In the second taxi he was alone tra-la | |
But the clock showed sixpence extra; he tipped according | |
And the cabby from out his muffler said: ‘Make sure | |
You have left nothing behind tra-la between you.’ |
In the third taxi he was alone tra-la | |
But the tip-up seats were down and there was an extra | |
Charge of one-and-sixpence and an odd | |
Scent that reminded him of a trip to Cannes. |
As for the fourth taxi, he was alone | |
Tra-la when he hailed it but the cabby looked | |
Through him and said: ‘I can’t tra-la well take | |
So many people, not to speak of the dog.’ |
Early, each morning, Martha Blake | |
Walked, angeling the road, | |
To Mass in the Church of the Three Patrons. | |
Sanctuary lamp glowed | |
And the clerk halo’ed the candles | |
On the High Altar. She knelt | |
Illumined. In gold-hemmed alb, | |
The priest intoned. Wax melted. |
Waiting for daily Communion, bowed head | |
At rail, she hears a murmur. | |
Latin is near. In a sweet cloud | |
That cherub’d, all occurred. | |
The voice went by. To her pure thought, | |
Body was a distress | |
And soul, a sigh. Behind her denture, | |
Love lay, a helplessness. |
Then, slowly walking after Mass | |
Down Rathgar Road, she took out | |
Her Yale key, put a match to gas-ring, | |
Half filled a saucepan, cooked | |
A fresh egg lightly, with tea, brown bread, | |
Soon, taking off her blouse | |
And skirt, she rested, pressing the Crown | |
Of Thorns until she drowsed. |
In her black hat, stockings, she passed | |
Nylons to a nearby shop | |
And purchased, daily, with downcast eyes, | |
Fillet of steak or a chop. | |
She simmered it on a low jet, | |
Having a poor appetite, | |
Yet never for an hour felt better | |
From dilatation, tightness. |
She suffered from dropped stomach, heartburn | |
Scalding, water-brash | |
And when she brought her wind up, turning | |
Red with the weight of mashed | |
Potato, mint could not relieve her. | |
In vain her many belches, | |
For all below was swelling, heaving | |
Wamble, gurgle, squelch. |
She lay on the sofa with legs up, | |
A decade on her lip, | |
At four o’clock, taking a cup | |
Of lukewarm water, sip | |
By sip, but still her daily food | |
Repeated and the bile | |
Tormented her. In a blue hood, | |
The Virgin sadly smiled. |
When she looked up, the Saviour showed | |
His Heart, daggered with flame | |
And, from the mantle-shelf, St Joseph | |
Bent, disapproving. Vainly | |
She prayed, for in the whatnot corner | |
The new Pope was frowning. Night | |
And day, dull pain, as in her corns, | |
Recounted every bite. |
She thought of St Teresa, floating | |
On motes of a sunbeam, | |
Carmelite with scatterful robes, | |
Surrounded by demons, | |
Small black boys in their skin. She gaped | |
At Hell: a muddy passage | |
That led to nothing, queer in shape, | |
A cupboard closely fastened. |
Sometimes, the walls of the parlour | |
Would fade away. No plod | |
Of feet, rattle of van, in Garville | |
Road. Soul now gone abroad | |
Where saints, like medieval serfs, | |
Had laboured. Great sun-flower shone. | |
Our Lady’s Chapel was borne by seraphs, | |
Three leagues beyond Ancona. |
High towns of Italy, the plain | |
Of France, were known to Martha | |
As she read in a holy book. The sky-blaze | |
Nooned at Padua, | |
Marble grotto of Bernadette. | |
Rose-scatterers. New saints | |
In tropical Africa where the tsetse | |
Fly probes, the forest taints. |
Teresa had heard the Lutherans | |
Howling on red-hot spit, | |
And grill, men who had searched for truth | |
Alone in Holy Writ. | |
So Martha, fearful of flame lashing | |
Those heretics, each instant, | |
Never dealt in the haberdashery | |
Shop, owned by two Protestants. |
In ambush of night, an angel wounded | |
The Spaniard to the heart | |
With iron tip on fire. Swooning | |
With pain and bliss as a dart | |
Moved up and down within her bowels | |
Quicker, quicker, each cell | |
Sweating as if rubbed up with towels, | |
Her spirit rose and fell. |
St John of the Cross, her friend, in prison | |
Awaits the bridal night, | |
Paler than lilies, his wizened skin | |
Flowers. In fifths of flight, | |
Senses beyond seraphic thought, | |
In that divinest clasp, | |
Enfolding of kisses that cauterize, | |
Yield to the soul-spasm. |
Cunning in body had come to hate | |
All this and stirred by mischief | |
Haled Martha from heaven. Heart palpitates | |
And terror in her stiffens. | |
Heart misses one beat, two… flutters… stops. | |
Her ears are full of sound. | |
Half fainting, she stares at the grandfather clock | |
As if it were overwound. |
The fit had come. Ill-natured flesh | |
Despised her soul. No bending | |
Could ease rib. Around her heart, pressure | |
Of wind grew worse. Again, | |
Again, armchaired without relief, | |
She eructated, phlegm | |
In mouth, forgot the woe, the grief, | |
Foretold at Bethlehem. |
Tired of the same faces, side-altars, | |
She went to the Carmelite Church | |
At Johnson’s Court, confessed her faults, | |
There, once a week, purchased | |
Tea, butter in Chatham St. The pond | |
In St Stephen’s Green was grand. | |
She watched the seagulls, ducks, black swan, | |
Went home by the 15 tram. |
Her beads in hand, Martha became | |
A member of the Third Order, | |
Saved from long purgatorial pain, | |
Brown habit and white cord | |
Her own when cerges had been lit | |
Around her coffin. She got | |
Ninety-five pounds on loan for her bit | |
Of clay in the common plot. |
Often she thought of a quiet sick-ward, | |
Nuns, with delicious ways, | |
Consoling the miserable: quick | |
Tea, toast on trays. Wishing | |
To rid themselves of her, kind neighbours | |
Sent for the ambulance, | |
Before her brother and sister could hurry | |
To help her. Big gate clanged. |
No medical examination | |
For the new patient. Doctor | |
Had gone to Cork on holidays. | |
Telephone sprang. Hall-clock | |
Proclaimed the quarters. Clatter of heels | |
On tiles. Corridor, ward, | |
A-whirr with the electric cleaner, | |
The creak of window cord. |
She could not sleep at night. Feeble | |
And old, two women raved | |
And cried to God. She held her beads. | |
O how could she be saved? | |
The hospital had this and that rule. | |
Day-chill unshuttered. Nun, with | |
Thermometer in reticule, | |
Went by. The women mumbled. |
Mother Superior believed | |
That she was obstinate, self-willed. | |
Sisters ignored her, hands-in-sleeves, | |
Beside a pantry shelf | |
Or counting pillow-case, soiled sheet. | |
They gave her purgatives. | |
Soul-less, she tottered to the toilet. | |
Only her body lived. |
Wasted by colitis, refused | |
The daily sacrament | |
By regulation, forbidden use | |
Of bed-pan, when meals were sent up, | |
Behind a screen, she lay, shivering, | |
Unable to eat. The soup | |
Was greasy, mutton, beef or liver, | |
Cold. Kitchen has no scruples. |
The Nuns had let the field in front | |
As an Amusement Park, | |
Merry-go-round, a noisy month, all | |
Heltering-skeltering at darkfall, | |
Mechanical music, dipper, hold-tights, | |
Rifle-crack, crash of dodgems. | |
The ward, godless with shadow, lights, | |
How could she pray to God? |
Unpitied, wasting with diarrhea | |
And the constant strain, | |
Poor Child of Mary with one idea, | |
She ruptured a small vein, | |
Bled inwardly to jazz. No priest | |
Came. She had been anointed | |
Two days before, yet knew no peace: | |
Her last breath, disappointed. |
‘This was Mr Bleaney’s room. He stayed | |
The whole time he was at the Bodies, till | |
They moved him.’ Flowered curtains, thin and frayed, | |
Fall to within five inches of the sill, |
Whose window shows a strip of building land, | |
Tussocky, littered. ‘Mr Bleaney took | |
My bit of garden properly in hand.’ | |
Bed, upright chair, sixty-watt bulb, no hook |
Behind the door, no room for books or bags – | |
‘I’ll take it.’ So it happens that I lie | |
Where Mr Bleaney lay, and stub my fags | |
On the same saucer-souvenir, and try |
Stuffing my ears with cotton-wool, to drown | |
The jabbering set he egged her on to buy. | |
I know his habits – what time he came down, | |
His preference for sauce to gravy, why |
He kept on plugging at the four aways – | |
Likewise their yearly frame: the Frinton folk | |
Who put him up for summer holidays, | |
And Christmas at his sister’s house in Stoke. |
But if he stood and watched the frigid wind | |
Tousling the clouds, lay on the fusty bed | |
Telling himself that this was home, and grinned, | |
And shivered, without shaking off the dread |
That how we live measures our own nature, | |
And at his age having no more to show | |
Than one hired box should make him pretty sure | |
He warranted no better, I don’t know. |
(written 1955)
Swerving east, from rich industrial shadows | |
And traffic all night north; swerving through fields | |
Too thin and thistled to be called meadows, | |
And now and then a harsh-named halt, that shields | |
Workmen at dawn; swerving to solitude | |
Of skies and scarecrows, haystacks, hares and pheasants, | |
And the widening river’s slow presence, | |
The piled gold clouds, the shining gull-marked mud, |
Gathers to the surprise of a large town: | |
Here domes and statues, spires and cranes cluster | |
Beside grain-scattered streets, barge-crowded water, | |
And residents from raw estates, brought down | |
The dead straight miles by stealing flat-faced trolleys, | |
Push through plate-glass swing doors to their desires – | |
Cheap suits, red kitchen-ware, sharp shoes, iced lollies, | |
Electric mixers, toasters, washers, driers – |
A cut-price crowd, urban yet simple, dwelling | |
Where only salesmen and relations come | |
Within a terminate and fishy-smelling | |
Pastoral of ships up streets, the slave museum, | |
Tattoo-shops, consulates, grim head-scarfed wives; | |
And out beyond its mortgaged half-built edges | |
Fast-shadowed wheat-fields, running high as hedges, | |
Isolate villages, where removed lives |
Loneliness clarifies. Here silence stands | |
Like heat. Here leaves unnoticed thicken, | |
Hidden weeds flower, neglected waters quicken, | |
Luminously-peopled air ascends; | |
And past the poppies bluish neutral distance | |
Ends the land suddenly beyond a beach | |
Of shapes and shingle. Here is unfenced existence: | |
Facing the sun, untalkative, out of reach. |