Rains left the mess hall and waited in her office for Helen Tucker to return from her pickup at the train station. As soon as Tucker had dropped off the shipment, Rain called her into her office.
“Close the door, please,” she said when Tucker entered, and Helen did before returning to stand before her, looking more than a little apprehensive. Rain gestured at the chair. “Sit, Private Tucker.”
Tucker straightened to attention even as her face took on that defiant expression Rain knew well. She’d seen much less of it recently, but she also knew from personal experience that such defensive feelings didn’t disappear overnight. “Thank you, Lieutenant, but I prefer to stand.”
“At ease, Private Tucker. I’d like to have a more…personal conversation with you. And I’d prefer you be seated, if you don’t mind.”
Helen swallowed, the boldness leaving her face and her voice. “I—of course, ma’am.” She sat.
Rain had been considering her words all afternoon, but they still didn’t come easily. “I had occasion to speak with another officer today who had made a purchase in the PX. From her description, I have reason to believe Private Owens assisted her.” Helen’s jaw clenched but she didn’t speak. Encouraged by her restraint, Rain hurried to assure her. “The issue has nothing to do with Private Owens’s work, but rather with her…ah…” She trailed off, struggling with how to express a warning so distasteful, she found it almost unspeakable. She saw Tucker’s brow furrow and knew she was trying to work it out on her own.
Rain tried again. “This officer happened to stop along the aisle where the men’s undergarments are located. Private Owens offered the information that these items are also worn by some of our women here.” Helen shifted jerkily and Rain wondered if she was beginning to understand or if she was guilty of the same choice. Probably both, she guessed. “The point, Private Tucker, is not what people choose to wear.” A sour taste filled her mouth because in a real sense, that was at least part of the point. But this was the Army, and those kinds of options had never been available to those who chose to enlist. Now the problem was much bigger for those women who might presume to wear something other than the standard issue panties, because of what some might believe it suggested about their character. “The point,” Rain forced herself to continue, “is that there is a growing concern regarding a…a moral issue here on base.”
Helen leaned forward slightly, her eyes wide. “Is Tee in trouble, Lieutenant?”
“Not from that officer, no. But she needs to be cautioned to—to tread carefully for a time.”
Helen signed. “Tee sees anyone who smiles at her as her friend. I’ve tried to tell her not to be trusting like that, but it’s like she’s in this whole other world ever since—” She stopped, and her face flushed. “Uh, ever since we…uh, since we graduated…and then, well, she’s just been really happy for the last several weeks, okay?” Helen didn’t wait for her lieutenant to question her muddled timeline, she simply went on. “So she thinks the rest of the world is happy too. Or that she can make them happy. She talks about showing her light and stuff, and I’ve been to church with her enough times to understand that—sorta. But she don’t see that sometimes her light, well…” Helen bit her lip. “There’s folks that don’t believe we all got the same light in us. They’d see her light as threatening the shadows where they want to live. And some would defend their darkness by using a firehose to douse her when all it would take is a little puff of air.”
Helen’s manner had gotten increasingly agitated as she spoke, and Rain could feel her emotions—the worry, the fear, and the love. She’d kept an eye on Helen and Tee since the end of basic training, telling herself at first that she would do no less for any of her former squad members. As she’d watched each of them struggle in their own ways, she’d sometimes felt a bit like a mother bird with wayward chicks. And following these latest developments on base, she’d felt obliged to sound this warning call. Since honesty was a trait she greatly valued, she also conceded that her concerns about Tee and Helen felt much more personal than what she might have felt for any other of her recruits, and it felt strange to care like this about people who didn’t share her blood or her tribe. She reflected that perhaps being with Bett had expanded her understanding and acceptance of the larger meaning of “family.”
She cleared her throat. “There are those who are working to bring an end to these…shadows…that now darken our base. But for now, I believe you should caution Tee again.” Wincing slightly at hearing herself use Private Owen’s nickname, she worried that she’d sounded too familiar. Or perhaps she had said too much. She stood, reverting to her command voice. “That’s all, Private Tucker.”
Tucker stood also and came to attention, recognizing that she’d been dismissed. “Thank you, Lieutenant. I understand what you’re telling me and I thank you again for looking out for us, like you always have. And I’ll try. But”—she shrugged—“sometimes there’s just no talking to her, ma’am. And you can bet I learned that one the hard way.”
Rain managed to hide her smile until Tucker had saluted and left. She’d learned a few things about Bett the hard way as well. Her smile faded as her current concerns resurfaced. She felt the need for action, and soon, before Miriam Boudreaux did irreparable damage to Fort Des Moines and all those she cared about.
* * *
Bett was enjoying a remarkably fun day with her mother, even if some of it was spent commiserating over the lack of shopping opportunities. But while her mother had been looking for a present for Davis, Bett’s eye had fallen on a striking black leather jacket. The collar was cut like a suitcoat, but the diagonal zipper on one side and breast pocket on the other gave it a rakish look. She bought it, along with a blouse and some gray trousers, confident she could convince Rain to accept a belated Christmas gift.
After a late lunch out, Bett began to yawn again.
“Do you feel like a nap, sweetheart?” her mother offered.
“Thank you, Mother. If you wouldn’t mind, I believe I’d be much better company tonight,” Bett acknowledged, still feeling the effects of the last two weeks.
She wasn’t sure how long she’d been asleep when she felt Rain’s lips brush very gently on hers. She tried to control her breathing and not move. A second later, Rain kissed her again, this time lingering with the least bit more pressure. Bett couldn’t keep her lips from parting in welcome. Then Rain’s voice was in her ear. “I knew you were playing possum.”
“You always know,” Bett whispered back.
“I think your mother is sleeping too,” Rain said softly.
Bett had worked her arms out from under the covers and circled Rain’s neck. “Well, let’s don’t wake her.” Just as she was wondering how quiet she could be, they heard sounds in the hall bathroom.
“Bloody hell,” Bett fussed.
“Maybe inviting your mother wasn’t the best Christmas present after all,” Rain suggested teasingly.
Bett took Rain’s face in her hands. “Actually, it might have been the best gift you could have given me. I have lots to tell you and almost as much to ask.” She ran her fingers over Rain’s lips before moving both hands to her backside. “And there are some other matters that need my attention as well. Can you wait until she leaves?”
“No.” Rain shook her head, her face so serious that it made Bett smile. “But I can wait until later tonight.”
* * *
Kathleen hurried into the house, locking the door behind her before she began unbuttoning her WAC jacket. She finished stripping in the bedroom and pulled on her favorite nightgown. Curling tightly under the covers, she tried not to think about what had just happened, but memories of the incident wouldn’t leave her consciousness.
She’d felt brave after her visit with Gale in the mess hall, and determined, right up until the moment Miriam Boudreaux had opened the door to her quarters. She’d seen that look sometimes in the eyes of men on the streets and occasionally even from other women on the base, and it had always given her an uneasy feeling in her stomach. When Boudreaux smiled, it wasn’t unease she felt, it was revulsion. But she’d forced herself to accept a welcoming hug. In seconds, she could feel this was different from their usual greeting when Miriam visited her off-base home, when Whit and whoever Miriam was seeing were also present. Today Miriam pulled Kat very close, murmuring in her ear about how good she looked, while her hands had grabbed Kat’s bottom. When Kat had jerked in surprise, Miriam had held her even more tightly, grinding against her while groaning about how she felt good too. Kat managed to get her hands between them and push away enough to gasp out greetings from Whit. Instead of acting uncomfortable or embarrassed, Boudreaux had simply laughed and let her go. But she didn’t let her go very far.
Then it was all a blur. She’d tried, she really had. She’d tried to be cool, to be clever, to discern Miriam’s true intentions regarding what she planned to say at the hearing. But Boudreaux wouldn’t talk about the hearing or about the WAC or even about the war. She only talked about sex. How long it had been and how much she needed it. Thinking about it now, in the bed where she and Whit had fantasized countless times, she could readily admit that being repulsed by Miriam was more than a little bit hypocritical. Except that Miriam wasn’t creating a story about someone else—someone she would never actually touch and who would never even know she’d had those thoughts—she was talking about the two of them having sex. Right then. About the things she wanted to do, and what she wanted Kat to do to her.
And while she’d talked, Miriam had cornered her…twice. Once against the wall by her bed and the second time by the door as she’d been trying to leave. And each time she’d put her hands in places that only Whit should. The second time, when Kat had started to cry, Boudreaux had made some terrible remark about Whit, about her rotten taste in women or how she’d spoiled her woman rotten…something that Kat couldn’t quite make out through the screaming in her head. And yes, she could admit her hypocrisy about that too. It was true that the accidental brush of another woman’s hand had thrilled her only a short time before, but right now all she wanted was Whit. Maybe her fascination with Rains was at least partly that she was unavailable, unobtainable, and therefore—for fantasy’s sake—safe. But Kat didn’t feel safe now, and she wanted the certainty that Whit had always given her. She wanted the solid, real, knowing of her. She needed Whit’s voice and her hands to cleanse away the contamination of Miriam Boudreaux’s presence.
The small number on the nightstand clock confirmed she hadn’t been to sleep, and there were two more hours before her lover would be off shift. She curled into herself, pulling Whit’s pillow against her face, and sent a silent prayer there would be no emergencies and that Whit’s replacement would be on time tonight. “Please, Vic. Hurry home. I need you.”
* * *
Thank God that wasn’t quite the disaster it could have been, Bett thought as they drove home. She’d been more than a little concerned when Rain pulled up in front of the Hotel Des Moines. She understood that Rain saw this as a fancy place in a style befitting her mother, while in fact it had a reputation of hosting WACs for trysts of various kinds. Luckily, the restaurant had proven to be decent enough and the clientele included a few older couples scattered in among nervous-looking young ladies and their various dining companions. Rain managed to choose the correct utensils at least ninety percent of the time, her most obvious gaffe coming just after they were seated, when she’d caught the waiter’s wrist as he attempted to put the napkin in her lap. The waiter winced, either at her grip or at her stare, until Bett had murmured, “This is part of his job, Rain.” When she looked over, her mother appeared to be engrossed in the menu. Bett couldn’t tell if she’d truly missed the incident or if she liked Rain well enough to ignore it. Either way, she been relieved when the meal was over.
“I got some mail today,” Rain said, breaking the silence in the car.
Bett smiled. Rain was so private, she always brought any personal correspondence home, rather than reading it at work. “Anything interesting?”
Rain nodded. “A letter from Evie. It will be nice to know how she’s doing.”
“Who is Evie?” Ann Carlton asked.
“Evie became my friend in basic training. Now she’s a nurse, serving overseas,”
“How nice,” Bett heard her mother say in that vague tone that anyone could identify as disinterested. She couldn’t imagine what her mother’s reaction would have been if she’d known Evie was a Negro.
Once home, she and her mother went into their rooms to change while Rain sat at the kitchen table to read her letter. Bett hoped that Rain would come in soon so they’d have a few stolen moments, at least, but she didn’t. When she heard the front door, she hurried out into the den. Rain was halfway onto the porch, dressed in her coat, hat, and scarf again. “Rain, wait,” Bett called. “Where are you going?”
Rain stepped back into the front hallway, her face shuttered in a way Bett hadn’t seen for a long time. “I’m going for a run.”
Bett took a step toward her, stopping when Rain shook her head slightly. “What’s wrong?”
“Evie will be on her way home soon.” Before Bett could ask, Rain went on, her voice almost hollow. “I’m not sure exactly why. But she also told me that Jimmy died.”
“Oh Rain, I’m sorry,” Bett said, remembering how frightened she’d been of the tall, thin man who’d come out of an alley and asked her for a dime. She’d been attempting to surreptitiously follow the woman she knew as Sergeant Rains off the base, hoping for a moment alone with her. Later, Rain had told her how Evie had come to live in Des Moines after the Ease family’s life had taken a tragic turn and her father had taken to the streets. She suspected Jimmy’s death had been sad as well. “Was it sudden?”
Rain didn’t answer for a few seconds. “Death is never sudden for men in Jimmy’s situation,” she said, finally. “It is always waiting nearby.”
Bett stretched to touch Rain’s cheek. “Be careful. Come back soon.”
Rain’s jaw tightened and she nodded. The door had just closed when Bett heard her mother’s voice behind her.
“What’s going on out here? Where is Gale going?”
In that instant, Bett was certain that if she and Rain were alone this would not be happening. They would be lying in front of the fire and Rain would be talking about Jimmy and Evie. She answered without turning around. “She’s going for a run.”
“A run?” Bett wasn’t sure if it was the idea of exercise or the timing of it that horrified her mother more. “And you think this is all right? For her to go out like this, alone in the middle of the night when it’s freezing cold?”
Hearing her mother’s genuine concern, she turned and walked them back into the den, pouring them both a glass of port after her mother settled onto the couch. “I don’t much like it, Mother, but Gale is a grown woman who’s taken care of herself for most of her life. She’s just gotten some sad news and she needs some time. It’s…it’s hard for her to talk about her emotions, so she sometimes resorts to physical activity to work through things.”
“Was it about her friend? The one who sent the letter?”
Bett nodded. “Her father died. I think Rain knew him fairly well.”
Mrs. Carlton sipped her port, uncharacteristically quiet for a bit. Eventually, she took in a breath and asked, “If I weren’t here, would she talk to you, Bett?”
Wondering just what her mother’s perception was of her relationship with Rain, Bett only nodded at first. “I believe so.” She went on after a moment, wording her thoughts carefully. “I suppose Gale and I have reached the point where we can talk to each other about anything.”
“Will you and I ever get to that point, do you think?” Ann Carlton asked her daughter after another few seconds.
“I believe we could, yes.” Bett worded her thoughts carefully. “But closeness like Gale and I have doesn’t happen overnight.”
There was another long moment of silence. “When can you come to New York?” Ann asked finally. “I want you to meet Davis, and I guess the Army will want you to have your hair cut again soon.” She touched the tips of Bett’s hair in a gesture more maternal than usual.
“I really would like to meet Davis, but I imagine I’ll have to get my hair cut here,” Bett said, a little disappointed her mother had changed the subject, but pleased with how much better this visit had gone than some. “It may be summer before I get much time off again.”
Sighing, Ann Carlton asked, “Maybe you could do a long weekend?”
Bett nodded. “Yes, that could work. Maybe in April, then?” She paused. “I would still like to bring Gale. She’s never been to New York or anyplace bigger than Des Moines.”
“Of course,” her mother said graciously. Then she looked worriedly at the door. “As long as you tell her she can’t go out running in the middle of the night while you’re there.”
Bett laughed. “I’ll tell her, I promise.”
Finishing her port, Ann added, “I hope you won’t have to wait too much longer. Good night.”
* * *
Bett didn’t even hear the door. She had fallen asleep on the couch but woke to hear Rain putting another log on the fire. She opened her arms and Rain knelt beside her, face and hands very cold. “Oh, Beloved, I’m very sorry about Jimmy. Are you all right?” Bett kept her voice quiet. “Will you come get in bed with me and let me warm you?”
Rain glanced at the hallway. “Your mother’s light is still on.”
“She may have fallen asleep that way. But I don’t care. I want you with me now.”
Rain nodded. “I want that too, Bett. But you go ahead and I will join you soon.” They had been talking in whispers, but now Rain raised her voice. “Thank you for waiting up, but I am fine.”
“You should take a hot bath,” Bett suggested.
“I’ve stirred the fire. It will warm me soon enough,” Rain answered. Bett hugged her again and Rain asked in her ear, “Are you less tired than last night?”
“Yes, but I want you to wake me if I happen to be asleep,” Bett answered.
Movement on the bed made Bett’s second dream of a warm beach shift to bobbing along on a sailboat for a moment. Then a warm, sinewy form settled between her legs and small breasts tickled her face. Rain was propped on her elbows, nuzzling Bett’s hair. Bett felt the promise of pleasure push through her as she sucked gently on one firm nipple and then the other. Rain leaned close to her ear again, saying, “I need to taste you. I’ve been thinking of you in my mouth for days now.”
They kissed deeply, tongues probing each other’s mouths. “Get that other pillow,” Rain whispered finally, trying to breathe quietly. “I want more of you. I want all of you.”
Bett set the pillow so she could turn her head into it, telling herself she absolutely mustn’t scream or moan loudly. The need to be quiet seemed to heighten her sensitivity somehow, and with each lick, kiss or bite, her skin felt like it was dancing beneath Rain’s lips. She ran her fingers through Rain’s hair, suddenly aware it had been too long since they’d been like this, amazed that exhaustion and her mother’s visit had masked her need completely until this moment. Now she couldn’t wait any more and she lifted her hips, pressing herself against Rain’s body, moving against the lean strength of Rain’s belly until Rain moved down and the heat of her mouth found the wetness that had begun to flow there. With the first touch of Rain’s tongue, Bett was unable to keep a sound of desire from rising out of her and she turned quickly into the pillow. It was as if the urgent deep kissing she had felt on her mouth earlier had moved between her legs. Rain’s hands caressed Bett’s body as she moved her tongue up into Bett and back out again, making Bett grab Rain’s hands that were on her breasts in an effort to signal how much she needed her. Bett thought she heard a soft chuckle from Rain’s throat and then she started again, stroking Bett’s most sensitive part in a rhythm they both felt, both wanted, until Bett began to quicken, her grip tightening and thrusting herself more insistently against Rain’s tongue until there was a long, soft sighing, like a wind whistling through the trees, and Bett was pulling on Rain’s shoulders until they were side by side again. Bett turned, throwing her leg across Rain’s body, and Rain could feel her still moving against her slightly, a damp spot on her leg.
“Oh God, Rain,” Bett murmured distantly. “You are amazing.”
“I didn’t think it was possible to miss someone like I’ve missed you,” Rain whispered, caressing Bett’s face. “I’m not myself anymore when we’re apart.” She shifted Bett’s body to press herself against Bett’s thigh. “I know you’re tired. I only need a moment, just to touch…”
The near apology in Rain’s voice, combined with the feel of her heat and her wetness, roused Bett from her languor. She grabbed Rain’s hips, pulling her closer, until she could feel Rain’s arousal, hard and slick. “I’ll give you anything you want, Rain,” she hissed, bringing Rain’s body into a pace that was as much a part of her as her own heartbeat. “But I need to feel you come.” Rain grunted, low and deep, and Bett felt her give herself over to the tempo, sliding, thrusting, her body arching with every push. She trembled, close, and panting quietly.
“Bett,” Rain breathed, a fierce, tight sound. “I love—”
The last word died away in a long hiss of breath as Rain’s body jerked, but Bett knew. “I love you too,” she answered as Rain’s movements stopped. “I’ll always love you.”
“Always,” Rain murmured into her shoulder. “And only.”
Bett settled her cheek against the top of Rain’s head, loving the way Rain’s body grew heavier as she relaxed, how the weight of them entwined felt like forever.
* * *
Bett woke up in the same position, but a pillow was in Rain’s place. She could smell something baking, a hint of cinnamon in the air, and she heard her mother laugh. Amazing indeed.
The Carlton women had a leisurely breakfast after Rain left. Not knowing what kind of response she’d get, but not sure what else to offer her mother in the way of entertainment, Bett asked, “Would you like to see some of the base, Mother? I can’t show you my building, I’m afraid, but you could see where Gale works and some of the other features of Fort Des Moines.”
Following a few seconds of uncertainty, Ann Carlton’s face creased with the less-than-authentic smile Bett knew well. “Of course, dear. That would be charming.” By the end of the day, though, she was not only charmed, she was impressed. “Why, it’s practically like a little city, isn’t it?” As Bett pointed out some of the various features, her mother added, “All the young women look quite sharp with their military manners and their uniforms, and the base itself is very pleasant with its classical style red brick buildings and landscaping.” Although she kept a careful distance from the machinery and tools in the motor pool, Bett could tell her mother took note of Rain’s command presence among her staff, and she commented on the dedication with which the girls worked.
Rain wasn’t able to join them for lunch, so Bett looked carefully around the mess hall for someone to eat with. It seemed odd that many of the tables were occupied by singles instead of the usual groups of friends or workmates. Then Bett thought she saw Kathleen Hartley sitting alone at a small table over by the Negro section. Why not? she asked herself.
But when Hartley looked over as Bett approached the table, Bett almost thought she’d made a mistake. The woman wearing Captain Hartley’s uniform bore very little resemblance to the cool, sophisticated Kathleen she knew. There were dark circles under her eyes, and her usually tidy hair looked almost as if it hadn’t been combed. She looked haggard, Bett thought, and her brow was creased with worry. Hartley blinked up at her as she approached.
“I’m sorry if I’m disturbing you,” Bett said gently.
“It’s fine.” Hartley hesitantly indicated an empty chair. “Did you want to…?”
Bett gestured to where her mother was waiting by the serving line. “Ra—uh, Gale arranged a surprise visit from my mother and I need to find a suitable lunch companion for us. I saw you and I thought…” She trailed off and Kathleen glanced in the direction Bett had indicated.
Kathleen managed a smile. “What a lovely gift,” she said, and it sounded sincere. She touched at her hair, seeming to rouse herself. “I’m sorry I look such a fright. Please join me if you think you can stand it.”
“You look fine,” Bett said, hoping she sounded sincere. “And thank you. I hope Mother won’t drive you crazy.”
By the time she returned with her mother, Hartley had gathered herself, and as Bett expected, Kathleen and Ann Carlton took to each other immediately. Kathleen insisted they come for dinner, explaining that her roommate was working nights and their company would be most welcome. When Bett dropped by the motor pool again on their way out, Rain begged off the invitation, saying she had to work late and finish some end-of-the-year paperwork. Bett wondered if Rain might be trying to avoid Kathleen, but was still glad to have some entertainment for her mother.
The Carlton women spent the evening playing various versions of three-handed bridge with Kathleen and drinking wine. Kathleen had obviously taken some time to refresh her appearance, and she was a genial hostess who served a lovely meal and constantly refilled their glasses.
Bett enjoyed this side of Kathleen Hartley and was especially pleased that she hadn’t even asked why Gale wasn’t joining them. She found herself believing that if Kat could get past her infatuation with Rain, they might become good friends. If. They were having such fun that at one point, Bett thought she might have to call her lover to come get them. But she switched to water for the last two hands, and after some coffee and dessert she decided she was okay to drive. If Kathleen hadn’t already been home, she would have been worried when their hostess didn’t partake in either coffee or dessert but simply drank another glass of wine. Or was it two?
Ann Carlton apparently didn’t notice Kathleen’s slight sway as she bid them good night. On the way home, she expressed delight with Kathleen’s sophistication and her gracious entertaining, even asking, “Why don’t you room with her instead of Gale, darling? She’s obviously closer to our class. It certainly seems like you two would have much more in common.”
“Kathleen is very nice, Mother, and I’m sure we’d be quite compatible as roommates, but…” Bett hesitated. How to explain…? She wished she hadn’t had so much to drink. “You saw the base today, and you may have gotten some sense of all the different places and…classes…these girls represent. I feel that may be one of the most important aspects of being here—learning that no matter where or who we come from, underneath those superficial differences we have a lot in common. And when we work together toward something we all believe in, we are almost unstoppable.” Bett’s mouth turned up a bit. “In mine and Gale’s case, it’s been even more than finding out what we have in common. It’s finding out what we can learn from each other. And taking the measure of ourselves as we risk that understanding. I’ve grown so much since I’ve known her.” Bett turned to look at her mother. “Is any of this making any sense?”
Ann Carlton was looking intently at her daughter. “Is this really the way you see things, Bett? I’ve generally given Kenneth credit for being the visionary in our family, but I may have shorted you in that department.”
“Honestly, Mother, I suppose I’ve always been capable of this kind of thinking, but since I’ve been living with Gale, I’ve given myself permission to try, to look, to live a little differently.” Bett knew she needed to stop, but she added, “Maybe you’ll find the same thing with Davis. If he’s the right person for you, it could be worth it.”
Ann turned to her own thoughts, but she took Bett’s arm as they walked along the sidewalk toward the house. Inside, the fire was burning, and the Christmas decorations reflected its warmth. Rain had fallen asleep on the couch, a book in her lap. Her hair was loose, falling past her shoulders, her face relaxed and her lips parted slightly. Bett’s heart moved as only Rain could make it. Oh, my beautiful, my beloved! Tired from the evening and the drive, Bett wanted nothing more than to cuddle next to her on the couch, snuggle close and feel Rain’s arms come around her. When Rain breathed in and opened her eyes, smiling sweetly, Bett almost couldn’t resist kissing her. She settled for putting a hand on her arm and squeezing gently. “I hope you didn’t have to work too late. Were you waiting up for us?”
Rain squeezed Bett’s hand briefly and stood, stretching. “I was waiting, but apparently it turned into napping. Did you have a nice evening?”
Bett nodded and Mrs. Carlton added, “Very nice. But you were missed. Kathleen said to tell you she’ll teach you bridge or die trying.”
Rain grinned. “Yes, I believe she would.” She helped Ann with her coat. “May I get you something?”
Bett had started toward her room to change for bedtime but froze in the hallway when she heard her mother say, “I’m fine, thank you, but I wonder if I might ask you a personal question, Gale?”
I said too much, Bett scolded herself. God only knows what she’s going to ask.
“You may,” Rain’s tone was guarded, “but I reserve the right not to answer.”
Bett remembered Rain had made a similar remark to her in a conversation during basic training; it was her way of avoiding a lie by simply saying nothing. Ann Carlton seemed unfazed. “Bett and I were talking on the way home about living with someone from whom you can learn something new. I wonder if you would share with me what you have learned from my daughter.” Bett wondered if she should interrupt this conversation, but she was curious as to how, or if, Rain would answer. Perhaps in response to Rain’s hesitation, Mrs. Carlton added, “I’d really like to know.”
Bett heard glasses clinking and water running, followed by the sound of fabric rustling. Are they sitting on the couch? Bett stretched out along the wall but she couldn’t see them.
“First I would like to say you have every reason to be very proud of your daughter,” Rain’s voice was warm, “as I am proud to be her friend and to have her as mine. But you ask me what I have learned from her, and I’m not sure where to start.” There was a pause. “Before I knew your daughter I—I wasn’t much in this world. I believed in myself and in the ideals I thought were right, such as honor and duty, and in my family, my people, and in the Army, yes, but outside of that, my interaction was very limited. I was…I—” Bett could almost see Rain searching for the right words. “I lived like an iceberg. I only showed a small part of myself to others, and inside myself I was very cold. I floated alone; I moved through the sea of life that was passing by me, but I was separate.”
Bett wished she could see how her mother was reacting to this, but she didn’t want to be a distraction, so she didn’t move.
“Bett’s presence is like the sun. Hard as I tried to resist, my coldness warmed, my rigid form melted before her. Because she has this light, this warmth in her, along with a very determined focus, when she sets her mind to it.” Mrs. Carlton chuckled and murmured another comment. Rain’s voice had a smile in it. “Yes, that’s true too.” Rain cleared her throat and there was another pause. Bett thought perhaps she was drinking water. “I’m aware I haven’t actually answered you yet, but I wanted you to understand what there is in this answer.” A deep breath. “Bett taught me how to face the most frightening thing I knew—being alive and present in this world. She taught me that the strength of one is not diminished by trusting another. From her I learned that…” There was a longer pause before Rain finished, “That having faith in your life is not a bad thing.”
Having Faith in your life! When she heard Rain use that word, she recognized it as the name she’d been called after her mother’s death—during her painful childhood when her father had taken her and her brothers away from the reservation to try and make a living among White people. Bett knew Rain meant more than her mother would understand. It was her way of acknowledging her two worlds were merging through their love. No one was talking, so she dared to move toward the den and peek out. Rain and her mother were in a rather awkward hug on the couch. Bett ducked back into her room and started changing as quickly as she could. She heard her mother coming down the hall and stepped to the doorway. “Are you going to bed already, Mother?”
“Yes. I’m rather tired, and I’m sure you’d like to visit with Gale for a bit before bedtime. I believe she’s missed you.” Her mother smiled and patted Bett’s cheek. “And I can see why. You have grown into a remarkable young woman.” Bett reached for her mother and they had a long embrace. “I do love you, dear.”
“I know you do, Mother. And I love you too. It’s been really good having you here.”
Ann looked around. “It has been nice, hasn’t it? Even in your little house in this little town.” She sighed. “I think I’ll go visit Kenneth next month. It would be enjoyable to see him too, even though I’m sure I’ll have to see your father in the process.”
Bett looked away, hoping her mother wouldn’t see her displeasure…or her worry.