Contents

Introduction by Adam Gopnik

Into Your Tent I’ll Creep

Tuberoses and Tigers

How Ruritanian Can You Get?

Sodom in the Suburbs

Lady, Play Your Endocrines

Great Aches from Little Boudoirs Grow

Antic Hey-­Hey

Why, Doctor, What Big Green Eyes You Have!

Rock-­a-­Bye, Viscount, in the Treetop

Four-­and-­Twenty Blackjacks

Oh, Sing Again That Song of Venery

When to the Sessions of Sweet Silent Films . . .

Roll on, Thou Deep and Dark Scenario, Roll

Vintage Swine

The Wickedest Woman in Larchmont

I’m Sorry I Made Me Cry

By the Waters of Razz-­Ma-­Tazz

“M” Is for the Migraine That She Gave Me

Mayfair Mama, Turn Your Damper Down

Hungarian Goulash, with Battered Noodles

It Takes Two to Tango, but Only One to Squirm

Shades of Young Girls among the Flummery

About the Author