Oh, Má.” Trixie tiptoed into her dad’s hospital room to find her mom asleep in a chair. She found a blanket and covered her up. Her dad was also asleep. Ba looked so fragile with so many machines hooked up to him.
She’d taken a Lyft from the airport straight to the hospital. And convinced the nurse to let her into the coronary care unit even though there was a limit of one visitor at a time.
“Trixie, is that you?” Her mom sat up and rubbed her eyes. “You got here fast.”
“How could I not?”
“I hope you didn’t pay too much for the flight,” said her mom.
To anyone else, it might have sounded like nagging. This was how her mom demonstrated her love, by worrying about Trixie’s finances.
“Don’t worry, I found a last-minute deal,” she lied.
“Good. Did Lucy text you?”
Trixie nodded, her throat tight. She’d spent most of her flight demanding updates from her sister. They were monitoring Ba—as the next couple of days would be the most crucial—in case he had another heart attack. All they could do was wait.
“You have been a bad daughter. It’s been a long time since you called.” This time her mom was scolding her.
“Well, I’m here now.” She wasn’t ready to tell her about Andre and what a terrible mistake she’d made getting back with him.
“You look tired. Did you eat?”
She laughed. “Yes, Má. I grabbed some food at the airport.”
“Expensive and bad-tasting. Text your sister and tell her to bring the leftover fried rice from home.”
“I will.”
They ran out of safe topics to talk about, and the silence between them grew, interrupted by small beeps and whirs from her dad’s monitors.
“Are you back for good?” Her mom finally spoke but didn’t look at Trixie.
“No, I signed a lease in DC. I’m opening a store.” Even at twenty-five, she wanted her mother’s approval. She wanted to hear her say I’m proud of you. But Viet parents didn’t say that to their kids. “But I can postpone it and stay until Ba is better.”
“Won’t you lose money? You’ll still have to pay rent.” Her mom shook her head. “Stay for a few days and go back to your store.”
“I wanted to tell Ba the good news.” Trixie smoothed out his blanket. “I want you—him to be proud of me. I’m tired of not speaking with him.”
“Ai-ya,” her mother said, and sighed. “We are proud of you.”
“You are?” Why did she have to pull teeth to hear her mom say those words? “Even though I’m not a lawyer like Lucy or an engineer like Binh?”
“From the moment you were born, I knew you would be different. When you were three, I brought you to an astrologist. She confirmed my beliefs and warned me that you had a long, hard journey before you’d find your way.”
“She probably said that about everyone.” It was vague enough to apply to almost anyone. Trixie didn’t hold too much faith in Vietnamese astrologists.
“You have changed.”
She motioned for Trixie to turn in a circle. After a couple of turns, her mom stopped her.
“I think you’ve finally found your way. This store makes you happy.”
“It does, Má.” Trixie nodded. Finally, her mom understood. “It’s what I want to do. I wish Ba would understand that.”
“He worries about you. As the youngest, you were more American than your brother and sister. It’s harder for him to understand why you’d want a job that didn’t guarantee to earn a good living. He doesn’t want you to worry about money like we did. When we came to the United States, we didn’t have the luxury of taking a job that made us happy. When we had the three of you, we worked harder to provide for you.”
Trixie blinked the tears out of her eyes. This was the most intimate conversation she’d ever had with her mom.
“You and Ba sacrificed so much for us—for me. I want to make you proud, but I’m not book smart like Binh or Lucy. I’m not cut out to be a pharmacist.”
Her mother clicked her tongue. “Who said you are not smart? You are.”
“But I flunked out of school and—”
“How could you not be smart? You’re my daughter.” Her mother patted her chest and grinned. “Most important, you want to help people, like your father.”
Trixie nodded. Her father was generous with his time and energy. What he lacked in money, he gave in his skills. After Katrina hit, he helped neighbors and friends rebuild their homes.
“I do want to help people,” whispered Trixie. Then more confidently, “I am helping people right now.”
“What you’re doing is important. Sex makes people happy and helps them stay married.” A girlish giggle escaped her mom’s lips.
“Má!” Trixie couldn’t believe her mom was talking about sex. “That’s oversimplifying it, but yes. That’s what I do.”
But it was a start. That’s all she needed to talk to her mom about the work she was doing at Bedroom Frenzy. What she wanted to do when Happy Endings opened. Her mom reluctantly accepted a hug from Trixie.
“What about Ba?”
“I have given your father more than enough time to come around. It’s time to make some changes. If he doesn’t try to understand what you want, I’ll stop cooking, and he’ll have to eat ramen every day.” Her mother laughed at her own joke. Her father hated packaged ramen, because it reminded him how little he’d had when he came to the United States.
“You talk about me like I’m already dead.”
“Ba!” Trixie grabbed his hand. “How are you feeling?”
“My chest hurts,” he whispered.
“Because you had a heart attack—now you know why you need to eat brown rice instead of white rice.” Má softened her tone. “You’re not allowed to die on me yet, old man.”
“Have to tell you something.” Her dad tried to squeeze her hand.
“You should rest. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You’re a good daughter, Trixie.”
“Ba.” Trixie was at a loss for words. He was talking to her again! “I’ve been a terrible daughter. I should have come home sooner.”
“No, you needed to find your own way.” Ba squeezed her hand. His grip was weak, but he didn’t let go. “You are so much like me. That’s why I’m harder on you.”
“How?” Trixie looked at his weathered face, dark from his years working odd construction and fishing jobs until he found a permanent position managing a seafood processor.
“My parents didn’t want me to come here. They knew if I left Vietnam, they might never see me again.”
“But you came anyway.” This was all new to Trixie. Ba didn’t talk about his family very often.
“I wanted to make my own life. Not the life they wanted for me.”
“You and Mom were brave to come here with hardly anything.”
“You are brave, too.”
Trixie nodded, blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay.
“You need to make your own life, not do what is expected. But this road is hard. I wanted you to do something else that had more security.”
“I’m doing okay, Ba. It’s not engineering or lawyer income, but I’m making enough to take care of myself.”
“I know. Your mom told me.”
So he was keeping up with her through her weekly calls with Má. Deep down Trixie knew that he wouldn’t give up on her.
“I love you,” Trixie whispered.
“Humph” was his only reply, but she could see the love in his eyes.
Those three words, I love you, were not words her parents ever said to her. As a kid she got upset when her dad never said it back. As an adult, she realized how hard it was for her parents to express their love in that way.
“I’m glad you’re home. I missed you.” Ba squeezed her hand again.
With that simple declaration, the tears she’d been holding back slipped out. Everything would be right between them. She and her dad still had a lot to figure out, but they’d gotten over the biggest hurdle.
There was a commotion outside her dad’s room. Suddenly the door flew open.
“Andre, what are you doing in New Orleans?”
“Sir, you cannot be in here.” A Black nurse wearing scrubs with cats stepped behind him. “Only family can visit CCU patients.”
“Trixie. Mr. and Mrs. Nguyen.” He nodded at her parents. “I’m sorry to—”
“Sir, if you do not leave, I will call security.” The nurse was fuming. “You’re disturbing heart patients.”
“I’ll wait for you outside. Please give me a few minutes to talk to you,” he pleaded as the nurse dragged him out.
“Was that your old boyfriend?” Her mom was bewildered. “Are you back together?”
“Yes. No. I mean, we were, but—it’s complicated.” Trixie held on to her father’s hand. She didn’t want to talk to Andre. Her parents needed her.
“Your dad needs to rest,” her mom said after a few moments.
“Of course.” Trixie bit her lip.
“I’m hungry. Can you buy me something from the cafeteria?”
“Okay, Má.” Trixie nodded and hid a smile as she accepted the excuse her mom offered her. She’d give Andre five minutes to talk and send him back to DC.