Stevie woke the next morning to sunlight streaming across her pillow.
How late was it?
The spare bedroom Jake had tucked her into was at the back of the house. She could barely hear muffled noised from downstairs.
This house, this room felt like...home. She was burrowed beneath an heirloom quilt. Lacy curtains hung in the window, and a dark-stained hope chest stood beneath it. How had Jake managed to make it this homey, this welcoming? Was there a woman in his life?
She sat up, stretching one arm above her head. A giant yawn cracked her jaw.
Her face felt hot and swollen to the touch from all the crying she'd done last night.
But she'd slept without dreaming, without waking in the night crying out for Sienna. For the first time since she'd received the news of Sienna's death.
It was a miracle, and she knew who'd worked it.
Jake.
Jake and his tender embrace.
She should probably be embarrassed that she'd broken down and blubbered all over the man—and she did mean all over the man. The shoulder of his shirt had been drenched with her tears. But all she felt was...lighter.
Oh, her grief wasn't gone. She could still feel it bubbling just beneath the surface.
But her tears had cleansed her of some of the most jagged edges.
Jake hadn't tried to offer false comfort. Hadn't told her it would be okay. They both knew it wouldn't. He'd opened their conversation by mentioning Adam and Courtney, a conversation she somehow knew he wouldn't have with just anyone.
His openness had been the catalyst, a road sign directing her toward healing.
She wanted to repay him in some tangible way. Instinctively, she knew he would reject it if she offered cash for letting her stay. But this was supposed to be his break, and the farm work seemed never-ending. Maybe she could find a way to help him get ready for his mad scientist event tonight.
Imagining Jake as a crazy, wild-haired scientist made her smile. He was just the opposite. Rugged. Well-spoken. A softie when it came to Lily.
She got out of bed and padded down the hall to the bathroom. One look in the mirror, and she winced. Her hair was wild, sticking up all over. Her eyes had cleared somewhat, but the skin just beneath was puffy and pink. She didn't think she'd packed enough makeup to cover those bags.
A ten-minute shower had her feeling more like her normal self—but what was her new normal going to be?
She couldn't have Sienna in her life. But somehow she couldn't go back to the extensive touring and producing and recording that her schedule demanded.
Her phone beeped with an email from Zack. He'd forwarded her a link to an online tabloid article. Somehow, they'd turned the fact that she'd blown off one tour stop into speculation that she was in rehab again.
She'd never even been once. Seen enough careers ruined when people used drugs, so she didn't. Where did the writers get this stuff?
It was one more reason she couldn't go back to Nashville. What was she going to do now?
There were no answers to be found hiding upstairs, so she went down.
She found Jake and Lily in the kitchen again. Lily sat at the nook table this morning, working on a plate of pancakes and scrambled eggs. "Ha, Spevie," the girl said through a mouthful of food.
"Manners, Lily. Morning," Jake said over his shoulder from his spot at the stove.
"Morning," she murmured, hesitating at the threshold.
"Coffee's on, and I've about got your plate filled."
She thought about arguing that he didn't have to wait on her, but her mouth was already watering from the aromas. She approached the counter, where an empty orange mug with a jack-o-lantern face waited.
Jake turned to her, and she couldn't help the blush that heated her face. Last night had been the first time in a long time she'd been held by a man. The last person she'd dated had been Zack, and that experience had turned her off of dating. Somehow, she and Zack maintained a somewhat tumultuous working relationship. And before Zack, she'd had a string of horrible first dates.
She tore her gaze away from Jake's face and then caught sight of his apron. It was black with Zombies hate fast food scrawled across the front. She laughed.
"Don't mess with the chef," he warned, but he flipped a pancake onto her plate anyway.
She poured the coffee and accepted the plate, then sat next to Lily.
She was reaching for the syrup when she looked down at her plate. The pancakes were shaped like pumpkins and even had the eyes and mouth cut out like jack-o-lanterns. Across the table, Lily's pancakes were decorated with chocolate spiderwebs, and her scrambled eggs appeared to have been murdered by ketchup.
"Has anyone ever told the two of you that you take Halloween too seriously?" It was still ten days away, but they were all about it.
Jake sat down caddy-corner to Lily with a clank of his plate against the table. He and the child shared a glance that spoke volumes, and then he looked at Stevie. "We have no idea what you're talking about."
Stevie shook her head and forked a bite of pancakes in her mouth. Flavors exploded over her tastebuds. She let her eyes fall closed and chewed more slowly. "Mmm."
Lily started to giggle.
She opened her eyes to find Jake watching her with an expression she couldn't decipher. His eyes glittered behind his glasses.
"These are really good. How'd you get the pumpkin flavor in there?"
He cleared his throat. "I used a little pumpkin in the batter."
"Wow. You're a good cook, too." He'd been constantly surprising her since she'd arrived yesterday morning.
How was it that a man like him wasn't married off with three kids of his own?
She nipped that wayward thought in the bud. "So what're we working on today? Please don't say lugging around more pumpkins." She made a show of rubbing her lower back.
"Are you really hurt?" Lily asked.
"Oh no," she assured the little girl quickly. "I just don't use my lifting muscles very often on tour." At least, not anymore. In the early days, she and her bandmates unloaded and set up and tore down and re-loaded for every gig. Now she had roadies for all that.
"You're in luck," Jake said. "Today we're setting up the experiments in the barn. And I'll probably field a few shipments to local sellers."
"Ooh, are we gonna get to try the experiment early?" Lily asked. "Please, please please?"
Jake tweaked her nose. "Depends. How fast can you finish your breakfast?"
Lily started shoveling pancakes and eggs into her mouth at an even faster rate.
"Hey, slow down!" Jake told her on a laugh.
Stevie watched the interplay between uncle and niece and couldn't help the lingering thought. Why didn't Jake have a wife?
Stevie seemed more steady today. Jake found himself stealing glances as she and Lily wiped off the outdoor picnic tables he'd positioned end-to-end in the barn. Dust motes swirled in the warm morning sunlight.
The open space rang with their laughter and Lily's off-key singing of a song she'd learned in school. Stevie didn't join in.
The previous owners of the farm had kept horses in here, but over the last two summers, he'd disassembled one side of stalls, leaving a huge open area.
With the large double doors on both ends thrown wide, the space was open and welcoming and perfect for his needs.
He'd set up a raised platform on one end, so that later tonight, he could demonstrate for the kids. Their parents would be there to help, but he'd done this last year, and it had worked well.
Stevie paused, and he saw her check her phone. Was real life calling? He'd seen her tour schedule last year, full of concerts in cities across the U.S. She'd have to go back eventually. But how soon?
She stuffed the phone back into her pocket with a frown. "What now, captain?"
"Oh, can we do the experiment?" Lily pleaded.
He squinted at his niece. "Isn't it about nap time for little girls?"
"Aw, Uncle Jake, I'm too big for naps."
That's what she said every day.
"Hmm..." He winked at Stevie. "I guess we could skip nap time today...if I can stay awake. Let's take a break." He could finish cleaning off the tables and sorting supplies after Lily had a little fun.
He set an armful of plastic tablecloths on the farthest table and took one off the top.
He brought it to Stevie and Lily at their table and began unfolding it. Stevie met him and took the other end of the tablecloth and they shook it out together.
For a second, her face disappeared behind the plastic, and then reappeared, her blue eyes shining at him. Travel and the media and all of that might be a part of her reality, but for today, he could pretend that she was part of his.
They lowered the tablecloth and smoothed it in place. Lily was already on her knees on the bench seat, and she banged on the now-covered table.
"What're we making, Uncle Jake?"
"How does goop sound, kiddo?"
Goop? Stevie mouthed.
He walked across the barn to one of the wheelbarrows he'd lined up in front of his makeshift stage. Stevie met him there. He tried not to react to her presence at his elbow, but couldn't help the way the hair on the back of his neck rose.
He handed her two plastic measuring cup and a gallon jug of water and sent her back to Lily at the table. He grabbed a few things and brought his load to the table.
"Glue?" Lily asked.
"Yep. First, pour one cup of water into your measuring cup."
Stevie had set her things on the table and stepped away.
Lily looked at her. "Aren't you going to do the experiment with me?"
Stevie's eyes darkened, but she smiled a trembling smile. "If you want me to."
She settled at the table next to Lily. He sat across from them, content to let them work through the project. It would be a good gauge to see whether the kids tonight would be able to do the project.
Stevie steadied both measuring cups as Lily poured.
Jake guided them to add a teaspoon of Borax detergent to each cup of water. The soapy scent momentarily overtook the dirt and outdoorsy smells that surrounded them.
"Now what?" Lily asked.
"Now pour your glue into the empty bowl."
Lily's face lit. "All of it?"
He nodded.
Stevie helped her unscrew the tops of both bottles of glue.
"My teacher doesn't like it if we get glue all over the place," Lily said as she poured a thick stream of glue into the bowl.
Stevie looked up at him, her lips twitching. "I bet that's why your uncle put down the tablecloth." She nudged her bottle toward Lily. "You can do mine, too."
"Thanks!" Lily's tongue stuck out of the corner of her mouth as she squeezed the glue bottle. "Do you got a boyfriend, Miss Stevie?"
Now Stevie's eyes darted to him and away. "No. Do you have a boyfriend?"
"Nuh-uh. Uncle Jake says I can't have a boyfriend until I'm twenty-five."
"Hmm. That sounds a little overprotective," Stevie said. But when her eyes slid up to meet his again, he thought there was a hint of admiration inside.
"I have lotsa friends who are boys, though." She set the glue bottle on the table, where it promptly fell on its side. "All done!"
"We want to add a little water to the glue," he said. "And some food coloring. What color goop do you want to make?"
"Purple!" Lily cheered gleefully.
"Hmm. I've got primary colors," Jake said. "Does anybody know what two colors combine to make purple?"
Lily and Stevie conferred with bent heads, and then Lily chimed, "Blue and red!"
Stevie helped her squirt the food coloring into the glue mixture, and they stirred it with plastic spoons he'd brought over. Stevie added red to her own bowl.
"Now dump the soapy water in."
He waited for Lily's reaction, and it came as the Borax water hit the glue. The chemical reaction was instantaneous, forming solids in the larger bowl.
"Cool!" Lily's excitement was palpable.
"Now you've got to mix it until you have goop."
Stevie didn't seem so sure. Her nose wrinkled. "We have to touch it?"
"Oh yeah!" Lily immediately dug her hands into the bowl. She brought them up, and the nearly solid slime slid back into the bowl in long, melted-cheese-like strings. "This is awesome!"
Stevie tentatively put her hands in the mixture. "It's cold." She mushed her fingers around. Her focus was on her bowl as she said, "What about your Uncle Jake? Does he have a girlfriend?"
His ears got hot as Lily shook her head.
"Why not? He's older than twenty-five."
His chest warmed too. Was she fishing? Right. Wishful thinking. Stevie was probably just nosey, like his mother.
"Uncle Jake says I'm the most important woman in his life."
"Hmm." He felt the intensity of Stevie's gaze. Her hands were still in the goo, and he kept his eyes focused there. The compound was coming together.
What Lily had said was true. Sometimes ten o'clock arrived, and he realized he'd forgotten to eat supper in the whirlwind of homework and re-packing backpacks for the next day, not to mention grading his students' work and preparing lectures. Life with a five-year-old wasn't conducive to dating. But there was also more to his excuse than a five-year-old needed to know.
"This is so cool, Uncle Jake!" Lily held up her purple gunk.
"Is there supposed to be liquid left in the bowl?" Stevie asked, and he was happy for the distraction.
"A little."
Stevie held up her gloppy, red goo. She squished it in her hands until it made burping noises that had Lily rolling with laughter.
"So what's your verdict? I'm going to be a hit tonight?"
He meant the question to ask whether the goop would be a hit with the kids, but when Stevie's eyes focused on him, he felt it in his gut.
Her eyes shone with mischief. "You're something, all right."
"Do you want to take a walk?"
Stevie looked over her shoulder from where she'd been gazing out the kitchen window. Jake stood in the kitchen archway, one hand braced casually against the wall.
He looked like the consummate cowboy, his hair smashed and mussed from his Stetson. Only his glasses hinted at his profession. And the notation on the shirt beneath his open flannel again. Today, it read: (-∞,∞) with the words "Get real" beneath.
"She fell asleep in front of the TV," he said with a jerk of his chin over his shoulder. Lily had worked a little but mostly played alongside him as he'd set up for his demonstration tonight.
Jake had taken several breaks when the local grocer, hardware store owner, and several other sellers had stopped by to pickup boxes of pumpkins. His business seemed to be thriving.
And Stevie had no doubt that the kids who showed up would be awed by the goop-making adventure. Lily certainly had been.
And she'd been a little awed by the cowboy who would go to such lengths to create fun for his niece. And to provide for his family. He hadn't said it outright, but she could guess what kind of persecution Courtney would face when she was released from prison. Likely, she'd be stuck in a low-paying job until—if—someone in town decided they could trust her with more responsibility. They wouldn't wait to see whether she'd changed her ways. They'd judge. Because it was a small town. Even if Courtney tried to relocate, the felony conviction would follow her on any job application and background check she had to go through.
She wondered what kind of adjustment Lily and Jake would go through when Courtney was released.
But Jake had taken the initiative and created sustainable income through the farm, income that the people of Redbud Trails already supported. It would be a nice supplement to whatever job Courtney got.
The man wasn't just smart, he took care of his own.
"A walk sounds perfect," she said.
She followed him out the back door. The sun had passed its zenith, though there were still a couple hours until the mad scientist party.
He fiddled with his phone on the way down the steps. She watched him with unabashed curiosity. Zack's texts and calls had finally tapered off. She was relieved. She knew he wouldn't be silent forever—he could be tenacious as a bulldog—but she needed the break. She couldn't stay hidden on Jake's farm forever. But the thought of going back to Nashville filled her with panic.
Jake saw her watching and gave her a sheepish half-smile. He turned the screen so she could see it. It showed a sound bar and small upticks where it was picking up sound. Through the phone's speaker, she could hear soft breathing sounds. What in the world?
"It's a baby monitor app," he said as they started toward the peach trees planted in orderly rows at a distance behind the house. "Probably over-protective again, but this way if she wakes up disoriented or something, I'll be able to hear her."
It wasn't over-protective. It was just Jake.
"Why are you still single?"
He'd avoided the question earlier in the barn, but she was determined to discover the answer now. Jake was a family man. Had some woman broken his heart?
"It's no great mystery." He kicked at a tall tuft of grass as they meandered past.
He didn't offer more.
They passed beneath the first of the peach trees. Some leaves, not all, had fallen and crunched underfoot. The others rustled in the soft breeze.
"Is there a string of broken hearts in your past?" she asked.
She didn't want to admit why she was so curious. Their shared history was so limited, but since she'd arrived on his doorstep, he'd been kind. And she saw how he was with Lily.
"No broken hearts. I guess..." He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. "I guess I've mostly been too intimidated to ask out the women I've been attracted to."
"Intimidated?" That made no sense. "But you're a PhD."
"Exactly. I'm a nerd."
A soft laugh bubbled out of her. "Don't most women like intelligent men?"
"Intelligent maybe. Not Sheldon Cooper."
She laughed again. "You're not like Sheldon. Maybe more Leonard."
He shook his head slightly, and she saw that he wasn't smiling. She stopped walking and placed a hand on his forearm. He stopped beside her.
"You have nothing to be intimidated about. You're a great guy."
He stared at the horizon. His mouth firmed into a straight line. Not really a frown, but not a smile either.
"C'mon," he said. He took off again, and she fell in step beside him.
They walked in silence beneath the half-bare branches of the trees. She breathed deeply, the crisp autumn air filling her lungs and the peace stitching up some of the jagged edges of her heart.
"I'd forgotten how it felt to just...be," she said softly.
His head turned slightly toward her. "You must have a busy schedule."
She nodded slowly. "Too busy." Her throat closed off. "I don't know if I can do it—be in the industry anymore."
She stopped again, turning away from Jake and toward the nearest tree. She sensed him stop behind her. She stepped closer to the tree and ran her fingertip along the trunk, the rough bark scratching her fingertip.
"Because of Sienna?" he asked.
Tears clogged her throat, and she nodded jerkily.
Last night she'd felt like a dam broke, and her tears had poured out. Today, it was her words she couldn't hold back.
"I met Sienna almost a year ago, at a charity event. My manager had organized a Thanksgiving visit to a girls' home in Nashville. Girls who were in the foster system, girls who didn't have foster families. It was supposed to be a photo op. Me behind the serving line, dishing up Thanksgiving dinner."
"She was this sassy little thing—" Her voice broke, and for a moment, she couldn't go on. She swiped at the tears that fell with the back of one hand.
She sensed Jake moving closer, but she kept her hand on the tree, kept her face turned away from him.
"How old was she?"
She gulped back tears. "Seven."
He didn't push for more information. She spent long moments trying to catch her breath, trying to stem the tears.
"We just...connected. Something inside me recognized her, told me that she was supposed to be mine. I went home and called an attorney and started the process to try to adopt her."
She drew a shaky breath. "There were obstacles. Me being single. My lifestyle. Stupid tabloid lies. And there were family custody issues."
Fresh tears welled. "I only got to see her three times last year because I was so busy." Her breath rattled as she inhaled. "I should've pushed harder. Hired a tougher attorney. Petitioned the judge more often."
His hand cupped her shoulder. He remained behind her, and his presence steadied her. But the worst was still to come.
She didn't know if she could say it.
"She was playing in the yard—a yard with this huge wrought iron fence—when there was a drive-by shooting. She and another little girl were hit. Sienna died before the ambulance could arrive."
Saying the words took every last bit of her strength. But before she could collapse, Jake was there. With his hand on her shoulder, he guided her to turn around, and his arms came around her.
She sobbed against his chest, her hands fisted against his shoulders.
It wasn't fair. Not fair that she'd lost Sienna, the girl she'd already thought of as her daughter. And...
It was her fault.
It was her fault.
She didn't realize she'd said the words out loud until one of Jake's hands cupped the back of her head. "It wasn't," he whispered fiercely.
"I sh-should've tried harder."
He didn't argue. Just held her close, let her pour out her grief and pain for the second time in less than twenty-four hours.
He was like a lighthouse in a storm. A rock that she could hold onto.
When she'd spent her tears, she leaned back the slightest amount. She'd pressed one hand against his neck in an instinctive, proprietary move.
She meant to apologize for crying all over him—again—or maybe turn away to hide the mess she knew her face had to be.
But instead, she found herself focused on his dear face. His lips.
She raised on tiptoes.
Maybe he bent his head to meet her, she couldn't be sure.
But suddenly her lips were brushing his. His kiss was warm and tender, like the man himself.
And she held on.
Until a soft voice emanated from his pocket. Lily, over the open phone connection. "Uncle Jake?"