Oaf
LOL LAID HIS foliate face carefully in the snow on the tomb next to Darvill’s chair, up against the church wall, under the Sheela-na-gig and the comical cat. He’d waited until Gareth Brewer had brought Iestyn Lloyd out, to go down to the ambulance and the two police Land Rovers which had pulled in tight to the mound.
Darvill had a blanket over his useless legs. His head light lit up the holly, the strands of yew, the mistletoe and the small eyeholes in the mask.
‘Leave him there, Robinson. Done his job, I’d say.’
‘Yes. I suppose he has.’
‘I’d be blind. Legless and blind.’ He laughed. ‘Just when you think it’s safe to come out of the spinal ward. Just when you think you’ve paid the price.’
‘Price?’
Darvill reached up and switched off his head lamp.
‘Did you even know what was happening when you ran in front of me?’
‘To be honest, no. No, I didn’t.’
He didn’t remember getting to the church door. All he remembered were the words of the song, and then the irony of it, no darkness danced down.
‘I remember it on the mask, like a power washer. And the smell. Still smelling it.’
‘Looks after his own, the Man of Leaves. Saved us both.’
‘Didn’t save Aidan.’
‘Sometimes,’ Darvill said, ‘we need to be shown evil, or we won’t know the difference. There’s evil in these walls. Necessary good, necessary evil.’
Darvill’s hands had burned skin which he said Nora, the life-keeper, would attend to later.
‘Might ask her something later, too. Good night for it, do you think? Death, destruction and possible matrimony.’
‘Why not?’
‘Two would-be Lady Darvills dumped me because I told them I didn’t want kids. Time this dynasty ended, Robinson. We’re not getting any luckier.’
‘No.’
‘When I go, all these wannabes will be coming out of the woodwork trying to claim the title. What use is a title except for when you’re on the pull? Aidan was to have had Maryfields. The Man of Leaves. Would’ve had two organic farms eventually. End of a feud that should never have been. And perhaps a Ledwardine Morris? The morris sides used to be a kind of priesthood, did you know that? No you didn’t, and neither do I, but I believe that’s how it was. A band of brothers connected to a place not by dogma but by the dance and what the dance passes on from the earth. It’s not whimsy, you know. I don’t think it’s whimsy. I think it works. I know it works.’
‘You never thought of telling Iestyn – about Aidan and Maryfields?’
‘No, I didn’t. Would you have? He’d think it was a scam. The way his brain worked. Or didn’t.’
‘You tell Aidan?’
‘Well, of course. This was how it worked: the land at Ledwardine had been put in trust for Aidan, possibly to avoid death duties, soon as Iestyn knew he was on the blink. Unknown to Iestyn, we had an agreement, Aidan and I. Whichever of us died first – wouldn’t be him, I assumed – would get the other’s land.’
‘That was a legal agreement?’
‘Oh yes. I’m not stupid. Solicitors, witnesses, all that.’
‘Could Iestyn and Hurst have only just found out? That whatever happened, Hurst was going to be on the outside? Without a penny? And all that pretence about him never wanting the farm would be closer to the truth than he could’ve imagined.’
‘If they’ve seen Aidan’s will, undoubtedly,’ Darvill said. ‘Could lead to years of legal wrangling, at the end of which Hurst still winds up with nothing. That would have pushed him over the edge, wouldn’t it? Fucking hell. Tectonic plates have shifted under less.’
He was shaking his head, chuckling bleakly.
‘Don’t panic, Robinson, I wouldn’t try to hang anything on you. There’ll be a more suitable Man of Leaves – not that you haven’t done rather well, one way or another.’
‘Got me back in the dance.’
Lol looked up at the Sheela-na-gig.
‘Lionel, can I ask…? You came down on me pretty hard when I made a stupid joke about her and… and the cat.’
The Sheela grinned. Darvill blew a soft sigh down his nose.
‘Going to have to tell you, now, aren’t I? After you saved my face.’
‘I was pretty pissed off,’ he said, ‘when my old man brought us back here. Didn’t know anybody, didn’t want to. Got myself a motorbike – the one I later sold to Aidan for peanuts – and shot off to Hereford most nights. Hanging out with guys who very much were not farmers. Drank copiously and smoked a lot of dope – which I still home-produce, by the way. Flog the surplus to a chap in Hereford.’
‘Ah,’ Lol said.
‘Quite. Anyway, it wasn’t that, it was the dance that saved me from going mad.’
‘A lot of people say that.’
‘It’s true. Even if you ignore the mystical stuff, it brings a strange kind of unruly order to your life. Naturally, as my old man had started the Kilpeck side, I wanted nothing to do with it, and he didn’t even try to persuade me. He was clever that way, my father. He never encouraged me to follow whatever he was into, which sometimes made me desperately want to. I watched and studied, while feigning complete disinterest. Practised on my own. Read his weird books secretly. And then, when one of the morris side couldn’t make the winter solstice, I offered to step in. Not as good as I thought I’d be at first, but then it just… clicked.’
‘It does, doesn’t it?’
‘We danced to the south doorway. I felt a tremendous heat. I was aware of all the extremities of my body, complete control and mastery, an enormous excitement at the pit of my stomach, the solar plexus. Still didn’t get it, mind. Still resented this bloody church and the influence it had. Still behaved like an oaf. Still behaved…’
He glanced up at the Sheela-na-gig and shook his head.
‘Some of my mates came down from Hereford and we’d spent all night in the pub in Kilpeck. Short walk from the church. I started talking about my, er, girlfriend – famous, after all, the world over – and we all went over to the church to have a gander at her. Unfortunately, you couldn’t actually see her very clearly because of the scaffolding. They had scaffolding up for minor repairs to the roof. Gave me an idea after they’d gone.’
‘Oh dear,’ Lol said.
‘People used to say she was a warning of the dangers of lust. Are you kidding? You seen the way she smiles? And when you’re, you know, very pissed, she can start to look like a challenge.’
The snow had stopped and he wheeled his chair away from the wall.
‘The scaffolding, that was easy. Well, looked easy from the ground. If you were pissed. Unzipped my jeans, hung them over a bar, but they slipped and fell to the path. No going back now. Starlit night and her face had altered. Hell, Robinson, if you think you’ve ever been horny…’
‘You must’ve been very pissed,’ Lol said sadly.
‘Keep telling you that. The stone… the roof stone projects over her, I had to lean back to… you know? I’m lying on this fucking plank at the very top of the scaffolding…’
‘I’m not sure I want to know any more,’ Lol said.
‘It was…’ Darvill began to choke with laughter. ‘All you could ever wish to…’
‘Don’t,’ Lol said. ‘Even she can be embarrassed.’
‘Bitch. Anyway, that’s when I fell. At the moment of ecstasy. Not that far when you look at it now, but I fell crookedly, into the space between the scaffolding and the wall, and there was a big wheelbarrow at the bottom, full of stone. I was laughing through the pain. Until I realized something was wrong. Turned out my back was broken.’
‘What did you do?’
‘Lay there. Lost consciousness. Dreamed about her. Regained consciousness and looked up and she was laughing. May not have woken up. She may not have laughed. Morning came. People came. People who didn’t talk, fortunately. Churchwarden. Nice chap. Awoke in hospital. Was transferred to another hospital. Eventually was told I wouldn’t be walking again. Except in dreams. In dreams…’ Under his head lamp, his eyes had filled up. ‘In dreams I still dance.’
Merrily was waiting for Lol by the south door.
She brought out a hand from inside her cape. It held a candle. She lit it with her old Zippo and presented it to him.
‘Better late than never.’
She looked up at the carvings, the green man and the animals.
‘It’s all here, did you know that? Everything. Ask now the beasts and they shall teach thee.’
‘Who said that?’
‘Book of Job. It’s quoted in the church guidebook. It goes on, Speak to the earth and it shall teach thee. And then the guidebook recommends reading the rest of the chapter. So I did. Just now. Trying to calm down. Job, chapter twelve. Goes on to say He discovereth deep things out of darkness. And – ominously – he taketh away the understanding of the aged and he leadeth counsellers away spoiled. OK, so the spelling’s different.’ She took his arm. ‘Let’s get out of here before we both go insane.’