The wind rattled the windows. Fin had driven straight home after she’d left Adam at the restaurant. She’d had a couple of drinks to calm her nerves and then stumbled into bed. But her mind couldn’t let go. Her hands shook even though she was lying down, and every now and again her breathing became so fast she thought she might pass out. Had she really shot Patrick with Robbie’s gun, like Adam said? And what about Robbie? Had he taken his own life or had something else happened the night he died? Something so terrifying that Fin didn’t even want to think about it. But she knew the answer to her questions lay in the dream, the same dream she’d dreamt every night since Robbie had died, but it was beyond her reach. After tossing and turning all night she closed her eyes and at last sleep came to her.
The soft rain fell on her face. She tipped her head back and opened her mouth. She swayed and giggled, rattled the high gates and smiled when she found them open. She ran towards the courtyard. There was something comforting about the confined space of the tower, even though the walls were damp and the smell of mould made her sneeze. She looked through the open arches to the far side of the river. She thought of Robbie and knew he’d come; he’d promised her. And Robbie always kept his promises.
‘Fin, for God’s sake!’
She heard Robbie’s voice and looked down.
‘What are you doing up there? Come down here, now! I’m getting soaked.’
Fin could only just hear him through the beating rain.
After a few moments he repeated: ‘I said, come down.’
Fin moved away from the edge. When she reached the bottom she pushed against the tower’s timber door and ran to him. He was standing in the thudding rain with his arms crossed against his chest, his head bowed.
When she ran to him, he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. ‘What are you doing for Christ’s sake?’
Fin grabbed his hand and they ran for shelter inside the tower. Robbie brushed himself down.
‘Robbie? Remember the Jacaranda tree in Gracie’s back yard and how we used to hide there from Uncle Patrick? He could never get us up there, could he?’ Fin began to sing a song about princesses.
‘For Christ’s sake, Fin, cut it out.’ Robbie pulled the hood of his rain jacket back. ‘I’m not in the mood for this shit.’ He looked at her. ‘And you’ve been drinking again, you smell like a brewery. And stop making so much noise, there’s gotta be a security guy about the place, even in this weather.’
‘He’s gone off on his rounds; he’ll be over by Broughton Hall by now. I know his routine, he never comes into the courtyard.’
‘Why did you want to meet here, of all places?’ Robbie asked.
‘I wanted to show you the view from the tower.’
‘Are you crazy, Fin? We’re not kids anymore, you have to let go of all that shit.’
He shoved his hands into his pockets. ‘I have, you should too. And you’re not well. You need medical help.’
She gave a childish grin.
Robbie shook his head. ‘How did you get in here, anyway?’
‘I’ve got a key.’
‘A key? Where did you get a key?’
‘I found it.’
Robbie fingered the lock with his gloved hand.
‘Come on,’ Fin said, ‘don’t be such a stick in the mud. This’ll be fun.’
‘Fin, I’m a police officer, if I’m caught…’
Fin tripped on the first step. ‘Are you coming up or not?’ She looked over her shoulder and saw the look on her brother’s face before she scrambled up the stairs. ‘Come on, scaredy cat.’ She giggled.
‘This is madness.’ Robbie shone his torch up the staircase. When he finally reached the top, he was trembling from the cold. His rain jacket was soaked inside and out. He took if off and shook it.
Fin had her back turned to Robbie. She was standing by the open arches, looking at the view. Robbie wiped a drop of rain from his nose.
The rain had stopped. A strong breeze had sprung up and blown open a gap in the clouds to reveal the moon. When he put his hand on Fin’s shoulder, she pushed him away. She flung her arms wide and threw her head back.
‘Welcome to my castle.’ She hiccupped.’ Look at the view, Robbie. You can’t see them now, but the Blue Mountains are over there and the river winds all the way to Parramatta.’ She staggered back from the ledge and fell to the stone floor.
Robbie stuffed his rain jacket into his backpack. He found a dry patch on the floor and sat down beside her. He crossed his legs and Fin put her head on his shoulder.
‘Can’t believe you found Uncle Patrick, after all this time.’ Fin’s voice was suddenly quiet, child-like.
Robbie had tried to protect her, but what could a small boy do against a grown man, especially a bully and alcoholic? Who was he kidding? He should have done something, tried to protect her. There was no escaping it: he had failed. Failed his little sister.
Fin looked at Robbie. ‘What are we going to do about him, now we’ve found him?’
‘I’m going to give him a thrashing,’ Robbie said.
‘I don’t know how Gracie kept Uncle Patrick’s secrets for so long.’
‘He was her son. Mothers will do anything to protect their children.’
‘Maybe,’ Fin said. ‘But we were her grandchildren.’
‘It’s not the same, Fin. And anyway, how can you explain or understand the reasons behind what people do.’
‘Uncle Patrick should pay for what he did.’
‘Don’t worry, he’s going to pay alright; he’s going to pay big time.’ Robbie tilted her chin towards him. ‘What’s wrong? You’re crying.’
‘I’ve turned out just like Mad Annie haven’t I?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I’m crazy. They say it runs in families.’ Fin sniffed, wiped her nose with the back of her hand and reached into her backpack. ‘I bought my angel feathers with me, I still have a few left.’ Fin opened the tin and picked out three feathers.
‘I can’t believe you’ve still got them, after all this time.’ Robbie smiled. ‘I remember Gracie called them your angel calling cards. They were meant to protect you.’
‘Here, Robbie.’ Fin handed them to him but the feathers fell from his hand.
He looked at her. ‘It was a big mistake coming here, Fin.’