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The initial thing I noticed when I woke up was that my body didn’t hurt. The second was that I wasn’t alone. A warm, firm hand was curled around mine; that and the gentle noise of snoring made me realize someone was with me.
My eyelids peeled open to a barely lit room. Walls painted cream, same furniture as my suit at the lodge, but this wasn’t my lodge room. Because here, above the dresser where a painting would have been, was a flat screen TV.
They had cable.
The hand that held mine squeezed and a soft mumble sounded. My gaze drifted to the side, my eyebrows lifting in surprise. It wasn’t just any hand holding mine. Thad was resting next to me on top of the covers. His legs were crossed at the ankles, socks on his feet, and my hand was nestled in his. His head was tilted back on the headboard and sweeping eyelashes rested against his strong cheekbones as he slept.
Sleeping. Gone to the world. And he wasn’t being intimidating or mouthy. This was the best form of communication for him yet. Snoring. But why stay with me?
I took a survey of myself, seeing if I was still in la la land or if I ever had been. It seemed real—the blankets I was under, the pillow beneath my head, but so had that place I visited with the picture frames. Had it all been... real? Why wasn’t I in a hospital? Maybe even hooked up to machines?
My gaze rose to the off-white plaster on the ceiling. Okay, Trace, let's get the facts down. One, you went to an insane asylum and had a light go into you that made you a fuckin’ Lydent and caused you to have power. Two, you get to know a ton of hot guys, only to be kidnapped by some deranged man, assaulted, and placed in what you can only call protective custody. Three, guess what? You’re dying. Four, you get sick and go into some fuckin’ dream world where a Lydent goddess tells you the light in you isn’t gray because of asshole Ivan, but due to the guilt you have for helping Hannah spiral out of control and keeping it a secret.
Sigh. My life was currently shit. I needed a distraction—I eyed Thad—but not with him. My gaze went down to our hands while my brain offered up a hundred excuses. He was a scary dude that was sleeping beside me. He was freakishly fast, rough, and...
His hand squeezed mine. I tensed, my gaze shooting to his face, then relaxed, realizing he still slept. Then he moved, muttering as he rolled over. Our hands broke apart, and he snatched me in the blink of an eye, twisting his body around mine so my front was to his. His hand looped around my thigh and his other one slipped into my hair as he pressed my nose to his neck before settling down.
“Mmm,” he breathed against my head. I was stiff. Frozen. His hand drifted from my thigh to my back and rubbed. “Settle down,” he growled into my hair. “Sleep.”
Even in sleep he was fuckin’ demanding. Did he not know I was sick? That I just came back from a party with his Goddess?
I tried to move. He tightened his grip.
Fuck. I needed to go pee.
I leaned into his collarbone, pressed my lips to his heated skin, and opened my mouth, sinking my teeth into his flesh. I was hoping he’d jump away at the pain, but no. He stiffened and moaned, his grip tightening in my hair.
Damn. My face squished into his neck. That was not what I was going for. I needed air!
I freed my hand from between us and hit his arm.
“Stop,” he growled, taking his hand off my head to shove away at the one hitting him.
I yanked back from his neck and took a sharp breath. “You’re suffocating me you arrogant asshole!”
He froze, and I could feel his heartbeat speed up because we were pressed so closely together. His palm came down, back to my head, and he moved away so he could hold onto me and peer into my eyes at the same time. His eyes were wide. “Fuck. You’re awake.”
I scowled at him and shoved against his chest. “Fuck yes, I’m awake. And I have to pee. So, let me go, so I can go.”
“Shit.” He twisted away, and I scrambled up, only slightly dizzy, and dashed to where I thought the bathroom might be, since the room was like mine, and went inside.
Not bothering to glance at Thad, I shut the door and locked it. Why? I didn’t know. It wasn’t like it would keep him out anyway. They could shim.
“You okay?” his gruff voice demanded at the door. I ignored him and struggled to do my business.
He kept talking. “Talk to me, dammit. You were out for days.” I heard a fist bang on the door.
I huffed. “If I was out for days, like you said, then I really need to pee. Back off and let me do that.”
“Hell, what if you fall? I’ll stay.” Even though his tone came out gruff, he sounded worried.
I glanced up to the ceiling. Fuck. He was going to make me say it. I scowled at the door. “Can’t pee if you’re listening.”
He shifted on the other side. “Ah hell, I’m not fuckin’ listening to you pee. I’m listening for you to fuckin’ fall!”
I got up and turned on the faucet for noise.
“That’s right, turn on the water, do your business, and get the fuck out of there. We need to talk.”
I snapped my gaze back to the door. “Fuck you.”
His laughter filtered through. “You wish.”
“Are you always this mean to someone who almost died?”
“No. You were in a bad place for all of an hour until Gen got you and took you to Cass. They got the doc, who gave you part of the cure. We weren’t sure how you’d react to it, since you’re partly human. You’re welcome by the way. We had you hooked up to leads and stuff until you stabilized, then after the third day we brought you back to the lodge because word got out that–” He cut himself off with a curse then asked, “Are you done yet?”
I flushed the toilet and went to wash my hands under the still running water. I said nothing because the sound of the flush should have given him the answer.
As I reached for the soap on the side of the sink, I eventually caught what I looked like in the mirror. Wide blue eyes glared back at me, haloed by my red, bed-head, mangled disaster. The black beaded choker that had been around my neck was gone and a new, blue pajama shirt and pants covered me.
I was a mess and probably had bad breath. I ran my tongue over my teeth and grimaced. Ewww.
Thad was still talking, though I had tuned him out until now. “Hey, do you have any toothpaste?” I riffled through the drawers and found it, lifting it out of the drawer like I had won a prize. “Never mind, I found it.”
I dabbed some on my pointer finger and lifted it to my teeth. A swirl of movement and light drifted around until Thad stood behind me, arms folded as he watched me finish up.
"You look okay," he said, peering at my reflection in the mirror. He ran his gaze over my frame. "How are you feeling? No effects? Any headaches?"
I rolled my eyes, rinsing my finger and mouth before twisting around to face him. "Now you're concerned? How about when you were yelling at me when I first got here?" I snorted and tried to move around him. "Now he goes soft," I muttered to myself.
He stepped in my way, crowding me backward to the counter I’d just left. My gaze flashed up to his intense brown stare as he pressed in close. My spine straightened when he placed both hands on either side of me to grip the countertop, caging me in. His wrists still had those black warmers on them and his breath smelled sweet. Almost tempting—almost, but I wasn't that crazy. Not yet...
His wide shoulders blocked my view from anything but him as he bent in close and whispered, "Don't tempt me to show you that you're wrong, babe." My breath caught. It wasn't supposed to go like this. He was gay. He had mates, right? Or did I read Justin wrong? Was I mistaken?
His breath caressed my cheek as I stood solid and unwilling to move, uncertain what was coming next. Now at my ear, his hot breath was causing my knees to go weak. "Because I'm fast. So fuckin' fast, but for you, I'd go slow. Take my time. Rev you up to an aching mess with just my mouth and then, only then, would I release you to your own pleasure while mine would be aching to have its own. I’d do that for you. Only after your pleasure would I sink into your softness and take you quick and rough and have you begging for more."
Oh shit. My breath was heavy with unwanted lust. Shit-shit-shit. He wasn't gay. Hell, he totally wasn't. Were the others?
"Got nothing to say, babe?" he inquired, amused by my lack of snarky comments.
"Shit. You're not gay." He moved away from my body with raised eyebrows. He wasn't expecting that from me.
"What?" he barked, his eyes narrowing. "Babe, I wanted to see you naked when I first met you. I didn't even keep it a secret. Why in hell would you think I was gay?"
My mind was going a mile a minute trying to come up with how I had arrived at that conclusion. "Justin said something about mates and that you all were kinda... you know." I shrugged and gestured to him. "Not a lot of girls for you, and with there being a lot of guys... Fuck. Do you get the picture?"
He shook his head, backing off totally. "Yeah, not a lot of Lydent girls, but the world is full of willing ones. We are compatible with humans. We – shit." He darted a glance to me again. "You really thought we were gay?"
I glowered at him. "There's nothing wrong with being gay. I didn't want to lead you on when you weren't interested and had mates."
He stared at me then gave a slow shake of his head. "I know that. I just..."
A fist pounded on the closed bathroom door. "What the hell are you doing in there?! Is that her? Is she up?" Cameron yelled from outside.
Before I could say anything, Thad moved with extraordinary speed and wrapped me into his embrace, his mouth meeting mine in a fierce kiss. He parked me up on top of the counter, crowding between my legs, drawing me to his hardness. I moaned, realizing I was wrong. He wasn't soft; he was iron. He tasted of spice and sweetness. An addiction I was willing to take on if they ever bottled it up to sell.
He yanked back, his chocolate-colored gaze molten, practically out of breath. "Shit, I want you. I want you like nothing I've ever craved in my whole entire life, but you're not mine to have."
Then he shimmed out of there, leaving me wanting and with unanswered questions.
Cameron shimmed inside the bathroom. Adjusting his glasses, his eyebrows dipped with concern. "Hey, you alright? Do you need help walking? Do I need to call the doc again?"
An involuntary, shaky breath seized me as I struggled to get a hold of my emotions. "I'm fine," I said, exhaling slowly. "I think... How long have I been out?"
"Five days," he responded, helping me off the counter. "Come on. Let me get you back to bed. You still look like death warmed over. And... where’s Thad?"
I didn't answer Cameron as he led me back to bed but gestured to the TV. “So, cable, huh?” I crawled back into the bed.
He gave a shrug and drew the covers around me once more. “We don't have Internet or cable at the lodge, but we do have it in the Gen’s home.”
So that’s where I was. “Cameron, be straight with me.”
“Of course, ask me anything.”
My lips pressed. “Are you and your team... are you all straight?”
His eyes widened slightly, and he nodded. “Yes.”
“So... none of you are together?” I challenged, trying to clarify.
A slight blush stole over his cheeks at my bluntness. “No,” he declared with surety. “None of us are with each other, and none of us like men that way.”
After the blush left his cheeks, he tipped his head to the side. “Why do you ask?”
"It’s just something Justin said, and it made me question if you and your teammates were mates.”
He seemed thoughtful. “No, we're not. Some of us are in the same mating circle, but we're rejects.”
“You keep saying that. What do you mean by rejects?”
He sat down on the bed and patted my knee from above the covers. “Look, there are some of us that have had a mate, but they've died in birth. Or they’ve died really young. Some of us rejects don't even have a mating mark, or sometimes no light. Or in our case, we were either cast out by our own families that had turned to the darkness or are orphans. Those are what make Lydent rejects.”
A pain pierced my soul. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he responded. “All of us are used to it.”
“What if a Lydent was born without a light? Can they still shim?”
“No.”
“Could someone without a light have a mate mark?”
Cameron thought about this for a moment before giving a simple nod. “I believe it's possible, even though I've never seen it.”
“Interesting,” I murmured, my thoughts going a mile a minute. I was thinking about Hannah, wondering if somehow she was a Lydent without a light.
“What's going through that mind of yours?” he asked, his eyes calculating behind those black frames of his.
Despite what I assumed about Hannah, I still didn't want to give her up. In fact, she might already be on their radar considering the mess I’d ended up in when she asked me to look into that woman. I sank down into the bed. “Nothing,” I answered then gestured to the TV. “Do you think I could at least watch something while I sit here and do nothing? Maybe some Fixer Upper? This isn’t like me. I need to do something, not be lazy.”
Cameron scoffed and patted my leg, his hand warm where it rested before he removed it. “You're not being lazy. You're sick.” He scooted beside me, like Thad had done, and I moved over to give him room. “And I’m totally down for Fixer Upper.”
Feeling this moment was a bit more on the intimate side and now knowing none of them were together and were very much into women, I let myself take notice of Cameron’s athletic body. He wore khaki pants that fit to his frame and a blue jean, quarter-sleeve shirt, and his hair was wild as if he had run his hands through it a thousand times that day.
He turned to the side to grab the remote from the bedside table and aimed it at the TV, turning it on.
At that moment, Justin shimmed into the room, and Nox followed behind him.
Justin came to sit on my other side. “Hey, move over.” I shoved his hand away when he felt my forehead. “Just checking for fever,” he said, giving up and curving his arm around my body to fit me to his chest.
I saw Cameron's mouth press in disappointment, but he didn’t protest Justin curling me into his side. “What are we watching?” He hummed it into my ear as if he was my lover and not just a friend... if I could even call him that.
“Fixer Upper,” Cameron replied before I could.
Justin groaned. “Do we have to? You watch that all the time.”
Cameron blushed again, and I loved learning he really did like the damn show.
I smacked Justin’s chest. “Hey, it’s my favorite show too.”
He pressed his hand against my head to encourage me to rest it on his chest as he settled in. “If that’s the case, we can watch it.”
I snorted, then took notice how we were. Me, laying on his chest with my body tucked into his side. When did he feel like he could cozy up to me like this? When did things change? I left it alone for now. I had enough on my mind to worry about.
He gave a deep, heavy sigh. “It’s good to have you back in the land of the living.”
“Yeah,” Nox murmured. “It was a little touch and go there for a while.”
Nox said that like he hadn’t been overly concerned. Almost as if he knew something the others didn't, perhaps where I went. He came and laid across the end of the bed. Thad returned, shooting me a glance before taking the chair beside Cameron. The five of us hung out and watched television until it became apparent that our stomachs were running on empty.
Thad was the first one to complain. “I'm hungry.” He stood and stretched. “Anyone else?” He made it a point not to glance at me when he said it.
“Yes,” I replied, trying to draw out of Justin's embrace, but he held on.
“Nope. Just tell him,” Justin ordered, having me lean back once again.
I sighed and let him snuggle me back into his arms and told Thad what I wanted. “Can you see if they have anything with steak?”
His mouth pressed, taking in the cozy scene. “I’ll check.”
Justin shifted and spoke up. “And see if they have something with shrimp. Or maybe mahi-mahi? I’ll take anything at the moment.”
Thad growled.
Nox chuckled and got up from the bed. “I’ll go with him. There’s a lot of us and he might need help carrying. You want to come, too?” His gaze narrowed in on Cameron. For what reason, I wasn’t sure. Cameron said he was good and gave his order.
When Thad and Nox shimmed out, I scooted down lower so my head was more in Justin’s lap and my legs half over Cameron's. I snuggled in, hoping that the sounds of my stomach would lessen knowing that food was coming.
Thad and Nox came back shortly, their arms loaded down with food. We ate and spent time together watching TV like the guys had nothing better to do. While Justin ran his fingers through my hair in a soothing motion, my eyes started to droop. I gradually fell asleep wondering why the Gen never checked on me.