When I reached my family unit, Sirius was leaning across the portal. I froze in my steps and tilted my head in question. “What are you doing here?”
He smiled, and perfect, kissable dimples formed in his cheeks. Had old Earth survived, he could have been a movie star. “I’ve planned something special.”
Was I on the right ship?
He took my hand, and his skin warmed my cool fingers. “Come on. Trust me.”
“My parents are expecting me...”
He waved at my door. “I’ve already spoken with them. You’re clear.”
“Crophaven said we were to stay in our family cells.”
“Crophaven, Schmophaven.” He gave me a rebellious look that said you’re more important than rules. My knees weakened and I almost melted into a puddle. I had to remind myself of the bells ringing in my ears and the alarm wailing in my heart. Warning: you’re about to get hurt.
Someone had replaced pathetic, lovesick Sirius with a charming, eligible young man, and I didn’t remember giving him a love potion. Maybe he’d fallen and hit his head?
“Are you feeling okay?”
He laughed like I’d made the wittiest joke of the year. “Couldn’t be better.”
I’d wished for his attention for so long. The warm tingles of my hand firmly locked with his gave me a rush of pleasure. I ignored all the red flags. Why couldn’t a girl just have some fun? “All right, as long as we don’t break any rules.”
He cast me a sidelong glance, his gaze framed by dark, gorgeous eyelashes. “We won’t break too many.”
I rolled my eyes. Acerbic sarcasm tinged my voice, as always, even when I tried to be sweet. “Great.”
“Glad to see you’re excited.” Either he ignored the edge to my words or misunderstood me. It must have been the latter because usually my cool, biting demeanor drove people away.
Sirius led me to the biodome. The glass panels parted to vegetable gardens and hills golden with wheat. Apple trees grew in rows on the southern side, and grape vines climbed from trellises in the north. I hadn’t been there since we’d landed, and the hedges had claimed half of the walkways. It looked more like an overgrown tangle than a food source. “Won’t someone catch us?”
“Naw, hardly anyone comes here anymore, since they grow all the food they need in the greeneries outside the ship.”
“Then why keep it running?” Everything had to have a purpose in my life. I didn’t have time for frivolous escapades. Except this one. I was such a hypocrite.
“A number of botanists convinced Crophaven the biodome represented a part of our history. It’s important to preserve Old Earth’s ecosystem to remember where we came from. Besides, if anything happens to the greeneries, at least we can come back to this.”
I imagined standing on Old Earth before overpopulation and wars over resources turned everything to hell. Instead of the buzzing overhead lights, the sun would have beat down on me in warm, golden rays, and instead of the bubble-shaped dome, the sky would have stretched out in an endless layer of blue. A pang of melancholy hit me. I would never experience what my ancestors had, but then again, they would never experience the primordial jungle and brilliant blossoms of Paradise 21. Somehow, I still felt shortchanged.
Sirius dug underneath a bush and pulled out a blanket. I stared at him, impressed. He’d planned this picnic ahead. “How do you know all this?”
He avoided my eyes as he spread the blanket on the green grass. “I have my ways.”
My stomach clenched. Andromeda’s mother was a microbiologist, and Andromeda followed in her footsteps until she was promoted. The biodome was their turf. I bit into my lip until it hurt. Every time Sirius and I were together, Andromeda came up one way or another. It was like she’d infused herself in every aspect of his life and I could never win.
Sirius came over and kissed the back of my hand. “I’ve hidden a delicious meal for us.”
I followed him to the blanket and took a seat on the corner. Even with the fabric, the grass tickled my skin. This ground felt so different than the vine-woven turf and sharp, dagger-like crystals of Paradise 21. He reached under the same bush and pulled out a plastic container. “Dinner is served.”
He’d prepared two salads with fresh greens, diced tomatoes, and cucumbers. Another container revealed strips of grilled chicken. “Voila.”
I unwrapped a cloth napkin with utensils hidden in the center. “This is really special, Sirius. Thank you.” For once, my voice came out genuine, and I was pleased with myself for speaking with ease.
“My pleasure.” He poured me a glass of juice.
An ant climbed onto the blanket, and I shifted my position, hoping it wouldn’t get too close. I pictured its little legs crawling across my body and shivered, feeling itchy all over. Bugs gave me the willies. Good thing Paradise 21 only had little, pin-shaped insects. Maybe I wouldn’t have liked life on Old Earth after all, with all of the cockroaches, bees, flies, mosquitoes, and other horrible flying things.
Sirius handed me a glass. “I know we’ve gotten off to a rocky start, but I want to make it up to you. I want us to get to know each other.”
As I took the glass, I cringed with the words get to know each other. Along with the ant, this picnic was turning into a horror show. “Opening up is hard for me.”
He wiped the ant off the blanket and I breathed with relief.
Sirius sipped his juice. “We all have our challenges.”
I thought of his. Not being paired with the girl he wanted. That one was the worst. I stuffed a bite of lettuce in my mouth and swallowed hard.
“How did the meeting go? What did the commander decide?” His tone was light and careful, as if he’d planned that particular question.
Something didn’t feel right.
Sirius was trying too hard, acting too happy, like the workout instructors on the activity deck when they were about to ask you to drop and give them twenty.
I paused. The commander’s decision wasn’t classified. I could tell him if I wanted to. “He said we’d wait. See if the ship stays. They have better weapons, and he doesn’t want to start a war.”
“What if the ship stays?”
“They’ll send a reconnaissance mission to retrieve information, perhaps establish contact.”
Sirius stared open-mouthed. “Who’s going on that?”
I placed my fork on the blanket. I wasn’t hungry anymore. “I volunteered, but the commander said Andromeda gets to decide.” Saying her name out loud to Sirius left a bitter taste on my tongue.
“Did she seem like she wanted to go?” He popped a cherry tomato in his mouth.
I stared at him in shock. Since when was this conversation about her? “Actually, I want to go, but I don’t think she’ll pick me.”
“Can she choose herself?”
Anger rose inside me and I seared him with my eyes. “Did you plan this meal to get to know me or to get information about Andromeda?”
Sirius blanched, looking like he’d choked on a tomato.
I wished he was concerned I wanted to go. I stood up, brushing off my uniform. “I’ve had enough of our dinner.”
He held out his hand. “I’m sorry, Nova. Please stay.”
“Why? So you can ask me more about Andromeda? Like what she had for breakfast or how she styled her hair?”
“No. I didn’t mean to bring her up. It’s just...”
“It’s just you still love her. Don’t you?” I pointed my finger right at his heart, wishing I could zap some common sense into it. “Well, I’ve got news for you, buddy, Andromeda’s moved on. She’s got a lifemate now, one she seems to like, and whether she plans to go on this mission or not, it’s none of your damn business.”
I whirled on my heels and pushed through the overgrown hedges in a direct line to the portal. Thorns tore at my uniform and branches pulled at my hair, but I needed to get away. A weak part of me wanted him to run after me and deny my accusations, telling me he’d gotten over her and this dinner was for us and us alone. Maybe if he seemed heartfelt, I would have believed him. I would have walked back to his blanket and tried again.
But he didn’t stop me. He let me leave.
I pressed the panel for my family unit and stepped into darkness. The lights, sensing my presence, flicked on and I jumped back. Mom’s head rose from the kitchen table, which was covered with dirty plates. She rubbed her dark-rimmed eyes and shook her head, embarrassed. Half her face was red where she’d rested her cheek on her arm.
“Hi, dear. I must have dozed off for a minute.”
I sighed. The whole ship sat on my shoulders. I leave for one night and the family falls to pieces.
“You work too hard, Mom.” Wondering how much of Dad’s shift she’d worked as well as her own, I walked over to the table and started to clear the plates. Mashed potatoes and peas had hardened into a thick crust. We’d have to scrub each plate before putting it in the dishwasher. More work for me.
“Why do I always seem to get behind, then?”
She moved to help and I waved her back down. “Get some rest. I’ll finish this.”
“Thanks, honey.” Her eyes traveled to the wallscreen. “My goodness, it’s almost twenty-one-hundred. I need to check on Solar.”
Guilt panged in my gut. I was supposed to help my sister with her geometry homework. Dropping the sticky forks into the sink, I peered around the corner to her room. “The lights are off. She’s probably sealed herself in her sleep pod.”
“I promised to read her a bedtime story.” Mom stretched and cracked her back as she stood. More gray covered her auburn hair. She was so thin I checked her plate to make sure she’d eaten something. Mom tried to do too much and never got anywhere. Just like me.
“I promised to help Solar with her homework, but things happen. Stuff gets in the way. She’ll understand.”
Behind us, Dad yelled from my parents’ bedroom. “Freaking Nebula!”
We jumped back as a pounding shook the walls. I dropped more plates into the sink with a crash. “Guess he lost again.”
Mom opened her mouth, but Dad cut her off. “For crying out loud, I hit the damn ship fair and square.”
I cringed, wondering how Solar slept through Dad’s pitfalls of Galaxy Battlefield.
Mom must have thought the same. “I’ll check on her sleep pod readings and make sure she’s not having nightmares.”
I returned to the sink, relieved Mom had forgotten about why I hadn’t been home for dinner. The water warmed my icy hands, relaxing the muscles I’d clenched all day. Washing dishes always calmed me.
“By the way, how did your dinner with Sirius go?”
Busted. I froze, holding a dripping plate over the soapy water. She had so much on her mind I couldn’t bother her with my small problems. I didn’t dare turn around. She’d see the hurt in my eyes. “It went fine.”
Mom’s footsteps came closer. Her hand rested on my shoulder, and she squeezed. “Good. You’ve done so well for yourself. Paired with an aviator, a team expedition leader, and a medal on top of all your straight As.” She sighed. “It’s not every generation the daughter of two sanitation workers rises so high. I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks, Mom.” It was only a bronze medal. I slipped the dish under the water, wishing all my meager accomplishments could give her time to rest, help my sister with her grades, or make Dad notice any of us.