Thirteen

“What are you scowling at?” Anthia kept her smile firmly in place when she walked into the center’s office. She was determined to conceal her disappointment that Dexter had not stopped by on Saturday morning after his night at the hospital with Craig or Sunday for that matter. She had been forced to wait until Monday evening to even see him. “How’s Craig?”

Dexter’s dark gaze, tenderly glided over her smooth brown features, lingering on her generous raspberry-tinted mouth before moving down the slender slope of her neck to linger in the sweet-scented hollow at the base of her throat. He recalled how responsive she had been to him as he licked her there... she had let out a soft, sexy moan that had caused his senses to flare even more.

She had quivered when he cupped her soft breasts, gasping his name when he had gently squeezed her dark nipples between his fingers. They were a deep rich brown, the color of bittersweet chocolate. They had puckered even more when he’d taken each in turn into his mouth and laved each thoroughly before he suckled.

He frowned. Her rose, long-sleeve blouse hid all her ripe beauty from his hungry gaze. Nevertheless his eyes caressed her softness, keenly aware of the sensitivity of those ripe peaks. He swallowed a groan as his sex surged painfully against his fly and his tongue came out to moisten suddenly dry lips.

“Dexter...” she said, as she attempted to ignore the heat of his blatant masculine scrutiny. She worked at settling her fluttering nerves as she sat down behind the desk across from his and stowed her purse in the bottom drawer. She wore a black knee-length skirt and high heels rather than her customary slacks and loafers, “... you’re scaring me. Craig’s going to be all right, isn’t he?”

Dexter recovered himself enough to say, “He’s in pretty bad shape. I spent most of the weekend at the hospital. He’s going to make it. But his recovery time is going to be lengthy.”

“His legs?”

“About the only thing that is working. His internal injuries are extensive.”

“Thank heavens he’s out of the gang. They won’t hurt him anymore, will they?” she asked hopefully.

“Let’s hope not.” He dragged his gaze down to the engraved invitation in front of him.

“What is it?” she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

“Here,” he got up and brought it over to her. His displeasure was written all over his bronze face.

Anthia read it, then said, “A wedding invitation? This has you scowling as if you’ve lost your best friend?”

Dexter winced. That was exactly what he had been wondering all weekend. Had he lost his best friend? Had he lost Anthia because of his inability to control his sexual desire for her? Just the thought of her not being in his life was almost too painful to consider. He had made a serious mistake when...

“Well?” she prompted bringing him back to the matter at hand. “Are you going?”

“It’s not just a wedding, Anthia. It’s my sister’s wedding. She expects me to attend.”

“I don’t see the problem.”

“First of all, it’s in Houston. I haven’t had any contact with my family in years. I’m not exactly an upstanding member of society. My father made himself clear at my trial. He no longer has a son.” The sound of bitterness was evident in his deep tone.

“Because of what happened with...”

“Exactly,” he interjected, not wanting to hear his wife’s name.

It still hurt too much. Hell! He was sick and tired of hurting. The strained relationship between himself and his father was something he did his best not to dwell on. His late wife’s death had ripped even the polite facade he and his father maintained over the years.

“Wait a minute. I thought you grew up in Detroit.” She naturally knew about his faint accent but had attributed it to the years he spent in Texas while in college.

His nodded. “I did. Born and raised in Detroit until my mother passed. My parents met here while my dad was in college. She waited tables in a small restaurant near Wayne State campus. To put it bluntly, my father married her because I was on the way. They were together as long as he was in Michigan. When he returned home to Houston, he was traveling alone.”

“How old were you when your mother died?”

“Thirteen. That’s when I moved to Houston to live with my father.”

“That must have been difficult for you especially at that age.” Her sympathetic smiled was like a soothing balm.

For a moment, Dexter could not look away from her dark lovely eyes. Finally, he said, “It was.”

“I’m sorry. Evidently your sister doesn’t feel the same as her folks.”

He smiled then, the first she had seen that day. It caused her heart to race in response. Handsome did not describe his hard angular, striking good looks. His brown features were keen, his lips wide and sensuous. Anthia hastily looked away.

In another minute, she would be begging for his sizzling hot kisses... his lovemaking. The last two nights without him had been unbearably lonely. One night of his lovemaking had her hungry for more. It was ridiculous considering she had been celibate for so many years.

“Stephanie doesn’t let anything stop her from doing what she feels is right. She has stuck by me from the first. You might say, we adopted each other when my father married her mother.”

“How old was she?”

“That was fifteen years ago. That would make her fourteen. She’s twenty-nine now. I imagine my stepmother is putting on the dog for this one. No holding back. It’ll cost the old man plenty.” The thought pleased him.

“Are you going?”

Dexter stared at her as if he were weighing the matter. He was quiet for so long she wonder if he was going to ignore the question. Finally, he said, “I don’t know how I can avoid it. Stephanie will be crushed if I don’t come. I don’t want her upset.”

“You’re a sweet brother,” Anthia longed to touch him, but thought better of it.

“I’m a fool for even thinking about going.”

“Don’t say that. You’re doing this for your sister. This is her day. It’s only natural that you want everything to be perfect for her sake.” Anthia encouraged.

“Yeah. She was the one who wrote to me while I was incarcerated, who came to visit me even against the family’s wishes. She’s what helped keep me sane all those years.” He glanced at Anthia. “She is a lot like you, full of enthusiasm and understanding. Nothing ever gets her down for long.” He said thoughtfully, “She deserves to be happy. I just hope she has found the right man.”

“Have you met him?”

“No. All I have to go on is what she’s told me.”

“This will be your opportunity to check him out for yourself.”

“As long as he treats her well, he and I won’t have a problem.”

“I think you’ll be glad you decided to go.”

“Come with me.”

“Huh?”

“You heard me.” His gaze collided with hers. “Anthia, I’d like you to come. It can be a long, leisurely weekend for both of us. Give us a chance to relax and enjoy a change of scenery.”

“But...” she stopped abruptly because she would like nothing more than to be with him. Perhaps, it was what they both needed, some uninterrupted time alone. Time to really get to know each other. Could she shatter his defenses? Did she dare even hope? Was she willing to take the risk?

“Anthia, how long has it been since you’ve been on vacation? I’ve known you for more than two years. I don’t recall you taking one.”

“I’m always too busy trying to earn a living.”

“Then it’s time you had one. There is nothing like Houston in the spring. Say you’ll come,” he persisted unwilling to even consider going without her. He surprised her when he said softly, “I need you with me.”

Unable to resist his appeal, she whispered, “I’ll come.” It certainly couldn’t make things worse between them. It could only help.

He reached for her hand, then caught himself in time before he could brush her soft knuckles against his lips. He held it clasped in his own. “Thanks,” he said somewhat gruffly.

“Excuse me...” Tina Douglas, stood in the open doorway awkwardly, glaring at the two of them. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. Dexter, I brought you some homemade lemon cake.”

“Hi, Tina,” Anthia said, snatching her hand away from his as if they’d been caught in a compromising position.

Dexter had to force his eyes away from Anthia before he could acknowledge the younger woman. “That was nice of you. Thanks,” he said, accepting the offering. “I didn’t expect you back. Don’t you have classes at Wayne County?”

Tina was all smiles when it came to Dexter. “Yes, just thought I’d stop in for a few minutes. Is there anything I can do for you before I take off?” She offered Anthia nothing more than a glare. She did not have to say the words, she clearly didn’t like the idea of Anthia being anywhere near Dexter.

“No, thanks. Well, I better get back to the gym. The kids can’t have a karate lesson without the instructor. ’Night, Tina,” he said before leaving.

The silence was heavy between the two women as they studied each other. There was no doubt in either one of their minds that Dexter was the problem. He was seeing far too much of Anthia and Tina did not like it.

“Are you dati...” the sound of the ringing telephone intruded on Tina’s question.

Anthia was relieved. Her relationship with Dexter was not open for discussion. Lifting the receiver, she said, “Malcolm X Community Center. How may I help you?”

A thoroughly infuriated Tina did not bother to wait for the older woman to finish, she turned on her heels and went out the door without so much as a backward glance.

Jeff was not only frustrated, but annoyed with Cynthia. For their first study session in the library, she had brought along her beautiful roommate Cora Denton. Jeff did not welcome the distraction. Cora was busy locating material for an upcoming political history term paper. Cora was hardly a stranger. It was a small campus and she and Jeff had taken a class together last term. There was no way Jeff could have forgotten the shapely beauty.

Cora had made an impact on him just by walking into the library. She, like Cynthia, came from a well-to-do family, only in Cora’s case outside of Atlanta. The two girls shared an off-campus apartment. Both had pretty brown skin, that was where the similarities ended. Cora’s blatant curves were enough to have caught and held his interest but her quick intellect and easy smile captivated him. Half the fellows on campus were trying to get a date with her. Yet, she didn’t date, which was a real puzzle as far as Jeff was concerned. Why not when she could have her pick? The last thing he needed was this kind of aggravation.

“Jeff? Is it right?” Cynthia asked

He just grunted impatiently. “Why don’t you get your roommate to tutor you? It couldn’t be more convenient.”

Cynthia laughed. “Believe me, she has tried but it’s hopeless. Cora has no patience.”

“The problem may not be hers,” he said dryly.

“Jeff! ” she wailed, then covered her mouth guiltily when others shushed her. She whispered with that teasing light dancing in her dark gray eyes, “Don’t get upset. Just explain it one more time.”

“Did I hear my name?” Cora looked from one to the other as she joined them at their table.

“Just telling the simple truth,” Cynthia teased. Nothing seemed to get her down, she seemed to keep a smile firmly fixed on her face.

The next two hours moved painfully slow from Jeff’s vantage point. He didn’t make an effort to move when the girls began collecting their things. He hadn’t gotten much of anything done. He’d been too busy dragging his gaze from Cora’s lovely light brown eyes and soft peach-tinted lips.

“Aren’t you coming?” Cynthia asked.

He shook his head. “I’ve got work to do.” He didn’t explain that he could have easily put it off. He was carrying As in all his classes. He could have skipped one night, but he was also self-conscious. No way did he want Cora focusing on his awkward, sometime jerky, movements especially after sitting for so long. He’d really be stiff when he got up.

“I’ll give you a lift to your dorm,” Cynthia offered.

Jeff suddenly remembered he didn’t have his chair outside waiting for him. His roommate had dropped him off before heading over to his girlfriend’s apartment. Stupid! He’d never made it back to the dorm under his own power.

“Okay,” he said gruffly. He was furious with himself. He did not need pity. He forced himself to look away. He hated being dependent on others. He hated everything about his disability. Right then he felt so disgusted with himself that he almost told them to leave him the hell alone. Common sense prevailed. He quickly packed his backpack and put on his jacket before grabbing his crutches.

The walk to the car was painfully slow. He made no comment whatsoever. The girls gave up trying to include him in the conversation after a few of his single word answers. He knew he was acting like a jerk but he couldn’t seem to help it.

While Cora and Cynthia chatted in the front seat of Cynthia’s sports car, Jeff brooded in the back. He was in a towering rage by the time he mumbled his thanks and clumsily made it up the walkway. He made a point to slam the outside door with all the force of the frustration he’d been holding inside all evening.

He was still on edge when the telephone rang at his bedside the next morning. He had a very restless night. His dreams were full of Cora’s continuous laughter. He woke knowing she’d been laughing at him.

“Yeah...” he grumbled into the telephone.

“Jeff?”

“Dexter?”

“Yeah. How are you?”

“Good. Nothing wrong with Mama, is there?” he asked anxiously.

“No... she’s fine.”

“Okay,” he said, his heart rate returned to a normal beat. For a moment all he could think of was something was wrong. “What can I do for you?”

“Thought I’d check up on you. How are classes? Your mom said your grades were great.”

“Yeah. I’m working at it. Are you and Mom dating?”

There was a hesitation before Dexter said, “We’re friends... good friends.”

“Are you sleeping with her?”

“That’s between the two of us, but I think you know how deeply I respect and care for her.”

“I don’t want her hurt.”

“Naturally. And I understand how you feel. Your mother means a lot to me, Jeff. She’s a very special lady.” Dexter cleared his throat before he went on to say, “So what’s going on with you? Why won’t you help us out at the center? We need you, man.”

Jeff closed his eyes, giving himself time to think before he answered. Dexter knew him so well. He didn’t want to reveal his innermost fears. “I wish I could, but I can’t.”

“Some of the new guys are really young. They’re the ones most at risk.”

“Look, there are others guys who’ve been shot before that you can ask.”

“Yeah. And they’re using those wounds like victory trophies, as if it’s something to be proud of. They have that gang mentality so ingrained that they can’t see what’s really there. We don’t need that kind of help. I need you, Jeff.”

“I can’t...”

“You won’t.”

Jeff clenched his jaw. “Let’s drop it, okay?”

“Think about it...”

He bit out harshly, “Drop it!” He could hear the other man’s heavy sigh.

“There was a time when we could talk about anything. That wasn’t that long ago.”

“Yeah, I know. You’ve been a good friend. Mom and I both came to depend on you, Dex. Man, I can’t stay in that same spot. I have to move on.”

“Sure you do, but I hope that doesn’t mean we stop caring about each other. If you need to talk, I’m here for you. As you well know there are things you might not be able to talk to your mother about.”

Cora’s pretty face flashed through his mind. Jeff scowled with indecision. He had so many doubts, questions that he hadn’t asked the doctors... deep personal fears he couldn’t share with his mother. Yes, he had missed Dexter... missed their closeness. “Thanks,” he whispered his voice raw with emotion.

Dexter evidently sensed something, for he said, “I mean it. Your life has changed a lot in the past couple of years. Things you took for granted are no longer there for you.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You’ve handled yourself well, my man. I’m proud of you.” There was a prolonged silence as Jeff struggled to control his emotions. Dexter’s opinion of him mattered. There was no getting around that.

“You seeing anyone?”

“Hey, I’m still in a wheelchair part of the time with no guarantee I’ll ever be completely free of it.”

“What does that have to do with dating? The last time I looked you weren’t butt-ugly.”

Jeff hedged, “I prefer not to get involved.”

“Why?”

“What is this? It’s enough to say I have my reasons.”

“Teenagers can be insensitive. I know that. Come on, my man. You’d better believe there’s some young lady down there who thinks you’re good enough to spend your money on her. What’s so complicated about a date?”

“It’s more complicated than just dating,” Jeff ended on a somewhat ragged tone.

“Such as?”

“Me! I don’t need people feeling sorry for me, especially females. I can’t handle that.”

“You’re a man. What’s to feel sorry about? You’re legs aren’t what makes you a man. Your heart and soul have not changed. If some gal has a problem with your legs then it’s her own problem. Let her own it. It’s not your issue!”

“That’s easy for you to say but almost impossible to do.”

“You’ve already proven yourself. You’ve gotten through years of therapy without feeling sorry for yourself. Remember, how far you’ve come. You’ve been flat on your back, unable to do no more than lift your head. Have you forgotten?” Dexter asked.

“Not hardly,” Jeff shot back, recalling the emotional and physical struggle he had endured. It was not over yet.

“With God’s grace you have no limits, my man, except for those you put in your own way.”

Jeff swallowed back the tears lodged in his throat. “You’re right. I’ve learned that the hard way. How could I have forgotten?”

“You haven’t. It’s there inside of you. You just have to look for it.”

“Yeah.”

“Now about the center...”

Jeff laughed. “I’ll think about it. Glancing at the clock he said, “Look, Dex, I’ve got class in an hour and I still have to go over my notes.”

“Okay. We’ll talk again soon. You know you can call me anytime.”

“Thanks, Dex. ’Bye.”

“ ’Bye.”

Jeff sighed, wishing he could verbalize his fears. Somehow the telling would make it too real... even more painful. His hands were trembling when he put the receiver down. Geez! Dexter had hit too close to the truth. He was running scared and did not think he could deal with even the possibility of rejection.

Cora was a very special young lady. From what he heard, she came from a very wealthy family and she was a year older than he. She was too popular. What chance did he have?

Then there were questions, personal questions that he had no way of knowing the answers to without putting himself in a very embarrassing situation. No, it wouldn’t solve anything to share this with anyone, not even Dexter.