Nineteen

“Did you give your father an answer?” Anthia asked as they waited for their plane.

“No. Right now, I don’t have one. I’ve owned that stock for many years. After I went to prison, it became my only link to my father. I never considered severing that final tie.” He stared at his hands, scowling when he eventually said, “I don’t know how I feel. The income along with wise investments have kept me financially sound.”

He did not need what he made from the center; more often than not he funneled that money back into the center. They needed a security guard so badly that he had hired the man and was paying his salary himself. It was not a first for him.

Anthia could only imagine what he had gone through. He’d lost his mother, then his wife and child and now finally his father. He had moved on intellectually and spiritually, but not emotionally. Even after all these years, he hadn’t sold the home he had once built and shared with his wife. Dexter had not been able to put his loss behind him and move on with his life.

Where did that leave her? How long could she live on the hope that someday he might come to care for her as she cared for him? Was she leaving herself open for disappointment and heartache?

Dexter was the one who broke the silence. “I know this was not an enjoyable weekend for you. I want you to know how glad I am that you came with me. It means more than I can express,” he said quietly. “I just hope it didn’t put you behind schedule with your work. Do you have dolls due out soon?” Anthia was amazed at how much his appreciation meant to her. Unfortunately, she could not turn her feelings for him on and off like a light switch. They went too deep. “Not until the next week. I enjoyed meeting Stephanie. She was a beautiful bride. The wedding went so smoothly.”

“For Stephanie’s sake, I’m glad. It was worth it to see her so happy. Kenneth seems to love her as much as she loves him.”

“That’s what matters.”

Dexter frowned, there was a time when he also felt that way, Yet, time had changed all of that. At least it had for him and Christine. “Love is not always enough.”

“You don’t believe that, do you?”

The announcement for their flight intruded, leaving Anthia disappointed that she did not get an answer. It wasn’t until they were strapped into their seats that she asked, softly, careful that her voice would not carry, “What did you mean when you said that love isn’t enough?”

Dexter had been staring broodingly out the window. He did not respond for so long that Anthia wondered if he had not heard her question. When she repeated his name he looked into her pretty dark eyes.

He said, “I can’t speak for anyone but myself. When I married Christine, it was because of how we felt about each other. The problem was it didn’t last. Love was not enough to keep our marriage going nor was it enough for her. We grew apart, Anthia. I ended up spending too much time at the office while she consoled herself with alcohol. We were on a dangerous path even before that last night.”

If Anthia was shocked by his candor, he was unable to detect it. He was not concerned because with Anthia he could be himself. He didn’t have to sugarcoat his thoughts or feelings. There was never a need for pretense.

Anthia’s small hand slid into his and she squeezed it. She managed to hide her surprise. It was the first time that he had ever even hinted that there had been problems in his marriage. She said, quietly, “Nevertheless, how can you not believe in love? How is that possible when you could see the deep love your sister had for her husband. You’ve seen what Charles feels for Diane. You’ve seen the beauty of it firsthand.”

He shook his head. “I never said I didn’t believe. I’m hoping and praying that Stephanie and Kenneth’s love will last a lifetime. I want no less for her.” Yet, that part of his life was over. It ended when Christine died. It was nothing he could explain, it was simply how he felt. Although, he believed Anthia was entitled to the best... that included love, nonetheless he was selfish enough to admit he was not about to give her up.

It was early evening when they reached Anthia’s home.

“Hungry?” he asked after carrying her luggage inside.

“Not really.” She wanted him to stay, but she wasn’t about to ask. She was not up to begging for anything that should be given freely. She loved him so much but she was not going to cling to him.

He stood near the mantel watching Anthia flip through her mail. Finally he broke the silence when he asked, “Too tired for company?”

Anthia’s eyes went wide at the question. Her smile was soft, beguiling to his hungry gaze. “You’re always welcome, if that’s what you’re asking.”

He clasped her hand urging her toward one of the armchairs near the window and onto his lap. Dexter released a deep breath, one he did not realize he had been holding.

The ticking of the clock on the side table was the only sound in Anthia’s living room. Anthia relaxed against him, not allowing her thoughts or worries to intrude. There would be enough time for that later. Her cheek was on his chest, her arms around his waist.

“Comfortable?”

“Mmm. You?”

“Oh, baby,” he said, pressing his mouth against her lips ever so briefly, making no move to deepen the kiss and seek the honey within. They were together and that was enough for now. Slowly his own tension eased. They had both been on edge the entire time they had been away.

“It feels so good to hold you,” he said, close to her ear. He couldn’t resist pressing a tender kiss below her ear on the highly sensitive place on her neck. He was rewarded by her tiny shiver of awareness.

All her defenses melted away as the evening slipped away. She told herself that the here and now was all that mattered as if there was only the two of them in the entire world.

She snuggled even closer. Neither were cognizant of the heavy shadows filling the room. Anthia slept with her head resting on his shoulder. Dexter was not about to complain. The last two nights, he enjoyed the pleasure of sleeping with her against him. He told himself that tonight should be no different, but he knew he was only trying to console himself.

They were back home... back to the world of responsibility and stark reality. They had learned so much about each other because of what they shared. Things could not go back to the way they had once been. He was too hungry for her. His need went too deep.

It was late when he carefully lifted her and carried her into her bedroom. When he put her down on the side of the bed, her lashes fluttered open.

“Hmm,” she mumbled, her head rested on his shoulder.

“You’re exhausted, aren’t you baby? Let me help you get ready for bed.”

She nodded, leaning back against him. He brushed a kiss against her temple then he opened her blouse and slipped it down her arms. The lacy bra, skirt and pantyhose were a little more difficult to maneuver without her help. He was relieved when he found her gowns neatly folded in the top bureau drawer.

Once he had her covered, he pulled back the comforter and sheet then placed her beneath them. Anthia didn’t do more than offer a sleepy murmur as she settled against the pillow.

As he stood looking down at her, he knew he should go. He had not been invited to stay. Yet, as he looked longingly at her, he could think of nothing he wanted more than to stay with her... each and every night.

He had no idea how long he watched her with indecision before he silently undressed. Although he rested beside her, he was not content until she turned and positioned her back against his chest, her soft bottom snug against his sex. He exhaled slowly as he held her close with one arm around her waist. Anthia let out a soft sigh, but she did not wake. Her breathing slow and even.

Dexter was not as lucky. He replayed the disagreement with his father. It had been bitter and angry, nothing good had come of it. It had managed to put even more distance between them.

He was thankful that he had not endured it alone. Anthia had been right by his side. Her quiet strength had stiffened his spine and kept him from being hurt more than he already was. This time his father had not done any significant damage and he had Anthia to thank for that.

Was he taking advantage of her by staying? Who was he trying to kid? He was where he wanted to be. His place did not provide the warmth and peace that he found here. Anthia alone did that for him. He felt more at home here surrounded by her things than he did at his own house.

There was no competition where she was concerned. Without even trying, she soothed him, filled his nights with sweet magic. She alone filled the empty place inside of him. When he was with her, he found himself doing and saying the unexpected.

He certainly had not planned on showing her the house he had once shared with Christine. It had just happened. He wanted her to see, wanted her to know, wanted her to understand it all.

When he was with Anthia, nothing else mattered. She filled his days with thoughts of her and his nights with sexual fantasies about her. What was happening to him? What was happening between them? She was so damn good to look at. There was no doubt in his mind that she could have any man she chose. She was not only a talented woman but she was also intelligent enough to turn a natural flair into a profitable business.

She was incredibly desirable. Her soft, petite frame was small, yet packed with seductive curves. Oh, she knew how to pleasure him, and keep him coming back for more. He could not seem to get enough of the feel of her small-fingered hands on his body, her deep feminine voice or her seductive scent. She aroused him seemingly without effort. All he had to do was look at her and he was as hard as steel, ready to make love to her.

It had been like that from the very first. After more than two years, he was even more fascinated with her now, than ever before. There had been nothing holding him at her side but her sweet allure. When had it gotten so bad? How had he lost control? Always in the past, he kept a firm grip on his emotions.

He had steadfastly kept himself on an even course, concentrating on the community center and the children they serviced. It had been his top priority, everyone and everything else had ranked a poor second. The community center was his world. At the end of a day he felt good because he knew he had done his very best, knew he had done everything within his power to change the negative spiral so many of the kids’ faced. What he did mattered more so than any house or shopping complex he was capable of designing.

He had turned his life around for the better. He now had purpose, direction and he was respected. He had invested wisely, so even after years in prison, he was financially sound. Why had he allowed his father to hurt him yet again? Why at this late date did it matter what the man thought of him?

Had he been hanging on to the past? Was that why even after he had moved to Detroit, he had not been able to put the old house on the market? It wasn’t as if he ever planned on living in it again. It was time. Anthia’s response had forced him to take a long look at what he had been hanging on to. How difficult would it be to resign his position in the company? Even if he kept the stock, he was never going back to the company.

He did not need to remind himself that his future was here in Michigan. If the truth be known he had gotten so much more from the center and the kids than he could ever give back. He needed to feel valued and the community center filled a deep void in his life. No, he would never go back. He couldn’t if he wanted to... but he did not want to. It was time to go on with his life. Time to put the past entirely in the past.

He hadn’t told Anthia but he had seen his former brother-in-law at his sister’s wedding. It had been such a shock that he had not been able to say a word to the man, not that his comments would be welcome. They had stared at each other for a time and then looked away. It had brought back the guilt. Anthia had eased his discomfort without even realizing it, for she had turned to him, smiled then whispered in his ear. He couldn’t even remember what she said but suddenly all his attention was on her.

“Can’t sleep?” Anthia murmured, pressing her soft lips to the base of his strong brown throat.

“Just thinking,” he said, his hand caressing down her spine, lingering on her soft bottom.

She pushed a thick wave of hair away from her face. “I fell asleep on you, didn’t I?”

He chuckled. “Something like that. Go back to sleep. You haven’t gotten much rest this weekend.”

She smiled, her dark lashes rested against her cheeks. “You undressed me?”

He lifted a brow. “Somebody had to do it.”

She giggled, snuggling even closer to him. She didn’t ask him why he was still here. She was too happy that he was to question it, she decided as she moved her hand over the muscled plane of his chest. Her nails explored his flat nipple.

He shivered from the contact, filling his lungs with her scent. “What woke you?”

“You,” she whispered pressing her lips where she had caressed moments before. Her soft hands moved steadfastly down his flat stomach.

Dexter sucked in his breath, shuddering in reaction, a deep throaty sound. “How?” was about all he could manage at that moment. His sex thickened and lengthened.

“You’re so sexy, Mr. Washington.” She licked his bottom lip again and again. “I want you...”

He groaned heavily, holding his breath waiting with the keen expectation as she neared his sex, wondering if he could bear the exquisite torment. She was killing him. Impatient, he took her hand and placed it where he needed it most. He did not stop until he curled her fingers around his throbbing shaft.

“Anthia . . he groaned. “Help yourself.” His tone was rough from the searing heat of his arousal as she stroked him from the thick base to the broad crown. Anthia enjoyed handling him as much as he seemed to enjoy her velvety strokes. Unable to tolerate more, Dexter lifted her hands to his neck and plunged his tongue deep inside her mouth. He parted her thighs and palmed her, squeezing her wondrously soft mound.

Anthia quivered as Dexter deepened the kiss while tantalizing her clitoris with gentle but consistent strokes. “Dex...” she whimpered. It felt so good but it was not nearly enough. She needed his long, hard strength deep inside... now.

Dexter obviously was of the same mind-set when she reached into the nightstand and handed him the foil packet. He accepted it without comment. He did not hesitate to reposition himself between her soft, dewy folds. Carefully, he filled her creamy, tight sheath. They moved together naturally as if they were on the dance floor but this dance of love was incredibly erotic and gloriously intoxicating.

Anthia matched each of Dexter’s insistent thrusts without reservation. Following his lead, she opened herself to his irresistible masculine strength. All too soon, they both felt the scorching heat flair out of control as she claimed her release an instant before he took his own, their shouts of triumph blended as they held on to each other.

He cradled her against his heart while his breathing slowly returned to normal.

“Oh, Dex...” she said around a tender sigh.

He whispered close to her ear, “You make it so good for me, baby... every single time.”

Anthia shivered knowing he gave her pleasure without fail. Her lips were sweet against his when she teased, “Better than a sedative?”

He chuckled, although his lids were so heavy he could barely keep them open. “Mmm...” he mumbled as he relaxed into a deep satisfying sleep.

Anthia smiled. She was where she wanted to be most—in his arms. Her body was tight against his. Somehow, she had to convince him that what they had did not have to be a temporary thing. They not only needed each other but were good for each other. She did not know how much longer she could keep her feelings to herself. Her love for him grew with each new day. And she was no different than any other woman. She wanted her man’s love.

“Be patient, girl,” she mumbled softly. It had taken her years to find this special man. Wasn’t he worth waiting for? The lure of sleep proved to be irresistible.

Dexter was rudely awakened that morning by the insistent ringing of the telephone. He automatically reached for it, his voice thick with sleep, “Hello?”

Jeff was so taken aback at the sound of a man answering his mother’s telephone that it took a moment to recognize the male voice. “Dex?”

“Yeah,” he said, suddenly wide awake. “Jeff?”

There was a prolonged silence as the two accepted the significance of Dexter being with Anthia that early in the morning.

“Yes. Things have evidently changed between you and my mom.” Jeff did not have to be told how his mother felt about the man. She was in love with him. He said firmly, “I don’t want her hurt.”

Dexter felt Anthia stir beside him, but for the moment he concentrated on her son. “I care for her.” He also cared for her son. He wanted Jeff to accept their new relationship and accept him as an important part of her world.

“You would not be there if she didn’t want you there. Treat her well.”

“Absolutely,” he said, looking down into her beautiful dark troubled gaze. “Hold on,” he said into the telephone, “It’s Jeff. Sorry, I shouldn’t have picked up the phone.”

She soothed, “He had to know eventually. I don’t keep secrets from him. I’m not ashamed of your being here.” Having disengaged herself from Dexter’s arms, she accepted the receiver, “Morning, baby. How are you?”

Dexter let out a heavy sigh as he swung his legs down to the floor. He grabbed his slacks from the chair and pulled them on before he went into the bathroom, intent on giving her some privacy.

He swore softly as he ducked his head under the spray of the shower. Why had he answered her telephone? What had he been thinking? That was the problem, he hadn’t been thinking at all. He’d been roused from a deep, satisfying sleep. He let the hot water pound his body, clearing his head. He felt good. His body was loose, no longer strained from the prolonged sexual frustration he normally dealt with. His thoughts were not clouded from being sleep deprived. No nightmares, never when he was with Anthia. It was as if he had no room in his head for any thoughts but of her.

He understood Jeff’s caution without question. In fact, he respected the young man’s deep concern for his mother’s well being. Jeff knew his mother did not fool around with men and that his being there with her had to mean something. Yeah, he thought with pride, Jeff had grown up. He was no longer a boy any more, he was a man.

“I’m all right. More important, how are you?” Jeff held on to his uncertainty, needing to know she was okay.

“Still asleep. I’m not used to traveling. Texas is beautiful this time of year. It’s strange to see so much green grass and flowers. And it’s so big. Goodness...”

“Ma! What’s going on between you and Dex? I was a little shocked to hear his voice on the telephone this time of morning. It’s barely eight.”

They both knew that the time of day was not the issue. “Why are you so surprised? You’ve known how I’ve felt about him for some time,” Anthia said evenly, her eyes on the closed bathroom door.

“And?” he prompted.

“Son, does it bother you knowing that he and I are together?”

Jeff sighed loudly. “Kinda. It takes some getting used to. This is the first time I can recall you being with a man. If it’s happened before you certainly kept it from me.”

“It’s the first time. Honestly, I have nothing to apologize for except that I intended to be the one to tell you about the change in our relationship. For that I apologize. You should have heard it first from me.”

There was an awkward silence. Finally he said, “You don’t owe me an apology. If I had called at a decent hour it wouldn’t have happen this way. I didn’t mean to embarrass you or Dexter. I just wanted to make sure you were home from your trip and safe. I left you a message on your machine when I hadn’t heard from you by this morning I got worried.”

“Sorry, baby. I was so tired when we came in that I didn’t even check the machine. Tell me about you?”

Dexter chose that moment to return, a towel slung casually over his wide bronze shoulders. He was whistling softly as he smiled at her, before he retrieved his shirt and left the bedroom.

“Everything is fine. School will be over before long and I’m trying to figure out what I should be doing this summer.” He didn’t tell her he was considering asking Cora Denton out this weekend. He longed to spend some time alone with her. He’d been concentrating on building his confidence... trying to prepare himself for the possibility of rejection. If he didn’t ask, he would never know what she thought of him. Wheelchair or not, he had to find out one way or the other.

“Are you thinking of staying on during the summer? Taking more classes,” she asked amazed at how badly she hoped he would say no. Even though she missed him terribly, she really wanted him to do what was best for him.

“Haven’t decided yet.”

“Have you thought more about speaking at the center?”

“I’ve tried not to think about it,” he said candidly.

Anthia refused to go into the lengthy lecture that was burning in her throat. She said softly, “Just don’t forget you did not get to that college by yourself. You had some help along the way. Others might also benefit from your helping hand.” She left it at that. “Will you be home for the weekend?”

“Not this weekend.”

“Okay. Something going on at the college?”

“There is always something going on. Look Ma, I know you have company so I’ll let you go. Talk to you soon.”

“Love you.”

“Be careful,” he said before he hung up.

Anthia had just pulled on her robe when she heard Dexter’s shout.