Siss ran home. At once she was struggling blindly with her fear of the dark.
It said: It is I at the sides of the road.
No, no! She thought at random.
I’m coming, it said at the sides of the road.
She ran, knowing there was something at her heels, right behind her.
Who is it?
Straight from Unn and into this. Had she not known that the way home would be like this?
She had known, but she had had to go to Unn.
A noise somewhere down in the ice. It ran along the flat expanse and seemed to disappear into a hole. The thickening ice was playing at making mile-long cracks. Siss jumped at the sound.
Out of balance. She had not had anything safe with which to set out on the return journey through the darkness, no firm footsteps striding along the road, as she had when she had walked to Unn. Thoughtlessly she had started running, and the damage was done. At once she had been abandoned to the unknown, who walks behind one’s back on such evenings.
Full of the unknown.
Being with Unn had made her over-excited – even more so after she had said goodbye and left. She had been afraid when she took the first steps, half running, and her fear had increased like an avalanche. She was in the hands of whatever it was at the sides of the road.
The darkness at the sides of the road. It possesses neither form nor name, but whoever passes here knows when it comes out and follows after and sends shudders like rippling streams down his back.
Siss was in the middle of it, understanding nothing, simply afraid of the dark.
I’ll be home soon!
No you won’t.
She did not even notice the frost tearing at her breath.
She tried to cling to the image of the living-room in the lamplight at home. Warm and bright. Mother and Father in their armchairs. Then their only child would come home, their only child who, they tell each other, must not be spoiled, whom they have turned into a game so as not to spoil her – no, it was no use, she was not there, she was between the things at the sides of the road.
But Unn?
She thought about Unn: splendid, beautiful, lonely Unn.
What’s the matter with Unn?
She stiffened in mid-stride.
What’s the matter with Unn?
She started once more. Something gave warning behind her back.
We are at the sides of the road.
Run!
Siss ran. There was a deep, powerful thunderclap somewhere in the ice on the lake, and her boots clattered on the frozen road. There was some comfort in it; if you couldn’t hear the sound of your own footsteps you might go crazy. She hadn’t the strength to run very fast any more but went on running all the same.
At last she could see the light at home.
At last.
To come into the light of the outside lamp!
They fell back, the things at the sides of the road, and once more turned into a mutter outside the circle of light, leaving Siss to go in to Mother and Father. Father had an office in the district, and now he was sitting comfortably in his chair, very much at home. Mother was reading as she usually did when she had time. It was not yet time for bed.
They did not jump up anxiously when they saw Siss, out of breath and covered in rime. They sat in their chairs and said calmly, ‘What in the world, Siss?’
She stared at them at first. Weren’t they afraid? No, not in the least. No, of course not – it was only she who was afraid, she who had come from outside. What in the world, Siss? they said placidly. They knew she could come to no harm. Nor could they say much less than, what in the world – since she had come home gasping and exhausted, her breath frozen into icicles on her upturned coat collar.
‘Is anything the matter, Siss?’
She shook her head. ‘I was only running.’
‘Were you afraid of the dark?’ they asked, laughing a little, as one ought at people who are.
Siss said, ‘Pooh, afraid!’
‘Hm, I’m not so sure,’ said Father. ‘But in any case you should be too big for that sort of thing now.’
‘Yes, you look as if you’ve been running for dear life the whole way,’ said Mother.
‘Had to come home before you went to bed. After all, you did say–’
‘You knew we shouldn’t be going to bed for some time yet, so you needn’t have –’
Siss was struggling with her frozen boots. She let them thud on to the floor.
‘What a lot of remarks you’re making this evening.’
‘What remarks?’ They looked at her in amazement. ‘Have we said anything?’
Siss did not reply but busied herself with her boots and socks.
Mother got up from her chair. ‘It doesn’t look as if you -’ she began, but stopped. Something about Siss stopped her. ‘Go in and have a wash first, Siss. It will make you feel better.’
‘Yes, Mother.’
It did, too. She took a long time over it. She knew she could not avoid being questioned. She came back again and found herself a chair, not daring to dive into her own bedroom. So there would be even more prying. She might as well face it.
Mother said, ‘That’s much better.’
Siss waited.
Mother said, ‘What was it like at Unn’s then, Siss? Was it fun?’
‘It was nice!’ said Siss sharply.
‘Doesn’t sound much like it,’ said Father, smiling at her.
Mother looked up, too. ‘What’s the matter this evening?’
Siss looked at them. They were being as kind as they knew how, she supposed, but -
‘Nothing,’ she said. ‘But you do pry so. Pry about everything.’
‘Oh, come, Siss.’
‘Go in and get something to eat. It’s standing on the kitchen table.’
‘I’ve had something to eat.’
She had not, but serve them right.
‘Very well, you’d better go to bed then. You look worn out. And I expect it’ll be all right in the morning. Good night, Siss.’
‘Good night.’
She went at once. They understood nothing. Once in bed she realized how tired she was. She had strange, upsetting things to think about, but the warmth after the cold stole up on her, and she did not think for long.