1:19 p.m.
Astringent water gags me as Adelynn vomits into my mouth. This is the most disgusting thing that’s ever happened to me. Less than a second later, relief sets in. “Adelynn! You scared us, sweetheart!” I hover over her, spittle still dripping from my lips. “You’ll be okay; just take big, deep breaths.” Is that right? My voice must hold authority because she tries; it doesn’t go well. Shouting, I wave my arms, panicked. “Just breathe normally!”
Samantha looks terrified, and she’s not speaking. Oh god, I broke her. She comes to visit me on what should have been a routine babysitting day, and what does she stumble into? Trauma.
Laura swoops in beside me. Her sniffles are low but present. Thin hairs from her drying legs tickle my smooth ones. My mother shaved my legs on my seventh birthday because the feel of them made her shiver. That seems like so long ago, not just six years. If Laura were my sister, she’d only have one year left. I think the baby hairs are soft and sweet like her innocence.
Words come out like jagged glass. “I didn’t mean to.” Laura catches my arm. Uncut nails dig into the squishy flesh I still blame on Valentine’s Day and Easter candy. “I really didn’t.”
“Don’t say anything else!” a man’s voice shouted from the side of the yard. “Laura, get away from Hailey and Samantha.”
Mike Hurst charges towards the pool with an outstretched fist. Laura’s slight body tenses; her legs bob up and down, unsure.
“Calm down, Mr. Hurst!” I say. “There was an accident. I’m still trying to figure out what happened.” How did he get here so quickly? I thought he’d been called in to work.
“My six-year-old daughter called 9-1-1, and you did nothing. That’s what I get for letting a thirteen-year-old babysit! I thought it would be okay, but—”
I sputter, and Adelynn starts to speak. Mr. Hurst no longer matters. “What, sweetheart?” I lean in closer.
She coughs in response.
“I beg your pardon, Mr. Hurst, but that’s not what happened.” Samantha sounds mature and in charge. “We came to check on the girls, and Adelynn was floating in the pool. Hailey told Laura—no—screamed for Laura to call 9-1-1. She needed me to help get Adelynn out. Then, she gave her the Heimlich Maneuver.” I glance up; Samantha’s eyes have gone dark with indignation. “Adelynn is breathing because Hailey saved her. Do you hear that, Mr. Hurst?” Samantha pauses a moment and lets the ghost of a siren answer. “That’s the sound of Hailey’s quick thinking.”
Not only does he not apologize to me, but he also ignores Samantha.
“Laura, come here.” With hesitation, she does. His hand crushes Laura’s as he drags her away from us. “We’re going to flag down the ambulance.”
Adelynn’s quiet, raw voice rips through the silence. “Hailey? Did I win?” she asks, just as Laura says, “Daddy, that’s too tight.”
The sun dims.
I lose track of everything but Adelynn’s fingers from that moment until the ambulance doors shut with me in it. I sit on a barely padded bench; the paramedic works around me with ease. Adelynn grows tinier with every piece of medical equipment he attaches to her.
“Will she be okay?” I ask.
Smoky gray eyes flick my way. The man who hadn’t stopped moving stops moving. “We thought you went mute.” That makes sense. Adelynn being lifted and put on a stretcher left me speechless. Anything that happened to the children in my care was my fault. I nearly killed Adelynn. Maybe I’m not responsible enough to watch kids yet.
“Thanks for letting me ride with her.”
“You wouldn’t let go.” His face wrinkles as if he’s solving a riddle. “As for Adelynn, she’ll be just fine. Thanks to you.” He rubs his buzzed hair and swivels his head around the ambulance. “Oh, right,” he says and reaches over me.
He rips a comically large needle from its sterile paper and plastic pouch. Adelynn’s fallen asleep, so I don’t have to sing her the calming song I sing to Laura—whose parent’s told me she needs it now, even when I’m not around now. “It won’t hurt, little bug. It won’t hurt. Look at me, sweetheart, and you’ll see. It’s already over, as quick as one, two, three.”
I hum it out of habit, anyhow—adding the middle addendum I did the two times needles were involved: “Just a poke, little bug. Just a poke.” The paramedic says nothing.
Wendy Bailey is at the hospital when we arrive. Her gasping screams are overdramatic; Adelynn’s stable now.
“Shh, she’s sleeping!” I almost snap.
Looking at Mrs. Bailey makes me sick. Last month, The Hurst’s had a barbecue. I was headed into the kitchen to grab ice and another bag of chips when I saw Mr. Hurst brush against Mrs. Bailey. I didn’t need to be an adult to understand what he was doing, what he wanted. I’ve heard things, seen things. Instead of stepping aside, or even moving along quickly out of embarrassment, Mrs. Bailey turned her body towards him and slinked by. My feet melted to the floor, and I was helpless to look away. A tingling I’d recently started experiencing when looking at a boy named Billy settled in my stomach.
I kept a close eye on Mrs. Bailey that day, but she didn’t end up alone with Mr. Hurst again. The looks exchanged in the crowded backyard spoke of future moments like the one I saw my parents have on New Year’s Eve. I picture Mr. Hurst’s hand under Mrs. Bailey’s skirt, and her pushing down, moaning and begging for more. More what?
After the barbecue, I started babysitting Adelynn too. Today’s only my fourth time.
As Mrs. Bailey stands in the waiting room lobby of the Emergency Room, I imagine Mr. Hurst on top of her, grunting as I saw in a movie once. I bet they’ve kissed even though they are married to other people. That’s against married people rules; I don’t need to be an adult to understand that either.
“Oh, Hailey! What happened?” Mrs. Bailey rushes to my side. Frizzy, root-like hair tickles my nose as she leans into me. “Mik—Mr. Hurst was telling me that Laura called him and 9-1-1 but didn’t know my number. You were so quick, Hailey! Samantha just got picked up by her dad; she didn’t need to be here for this. I told her I’d call her the moment Adelynn was in the clear.”
Anger makes me rashy. “She’s breathing.” I’m suddenly aware my glasses have gone missing. They must have fallen off in the pool. It makes me question my need for them.
“I know, honey. She just needs to get checked out.”
I saved her life. “Right.”
“So, what happened?” Mrs. Bailey ignored the edge in my voice. “Laura keeps saying it was just a game. What were they doing in the backyard? And why weren’t you with them? I don’t mean to accuse you of anything, but—”
“Mrs. Bailey,” I say before she makes me cry. “I have no idea what game they were playing. I’ll see if Laura will tell me. As for why they were in the backyard without me and Samantha, well, they were playing with chalk on the cement. I told them to stay out of the front yard because Adelynn tried to follow a piece that rolled into the street last week. So I had them play away from the pool. I guess, while I was grabbing a drink or something, they got bored. Them roaming the backyard has never been a problem before.” My mouth is dry.
“Adelynn did get bored, Miss Hailey,” Laura pipes up. I wonder why Mr. Hurst brought her here. The Emergency Room is scary—no place for a child.
“Did she?” I ask and bend down to her level.
Her vocabulary at six is incredible. “Yeah, she didn’t want to draw anymore. So I said, ‘We should jump rope.’ She started to cry—said her legs are too short. That’s a lie, Miss Hailey! I had legs like that too.” Laura’s voice begins to quiver.
“I know, sweetheart.”
“She said we could swim, but she didn’t bring her suit, Miss Hailey! Before I could ask you, she got in the water. I told her, ‘Adelynn, we shoulda asked!’ “ Laura says, her face contorting.
I open my arms; she rushes into them.
Snotting into my hair, she continues. “Adelynn said we should play like in church. Like this.” Laura plugs her nose and squints her eyes closed. Crossing her arms, she tilts her head back a little and nearly stumbles. “We tried. Our dresses made us fall down. And Miss Hailey, Adelynn can’t swim as good as me.” Laura drops her voice to a whisper, “And Daddy’s only taken me to one lesson.”
I’ve picked up an extra day a week for the last few weeks. I wonder if Mr. Hurst is supposed to be dropping her at a swimming class instead of at my house. Where is he when she’s with me?
An announcement of a color code in a room drowns Laura’s next few soft words out. I almost forget where we are, swept up in the visuals she’s painting in small sentences. When the loudspeaker quiets, I mutter a sound of encouragement. “Okay, what happened next?”
“That was it. She crossed her arms and put her face in the water. I counted, one,” she took a deep breath, “two.” Another breath. “Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen. Then the bubbles were gone.”
With each counted second, my breath hitches. In less than a fifteen seconds, Adelynn went from playing to drowning.
“Samantha saw us, thank goodness.” What? White flashes in my vision. “Can you hug her for me?” she asks.
We did not have the same thought on what to do with Samantha. If Laura was right, she could have kept this from happening. “You got it. Thank you for telling me, Laura.” I hug her tightly. “Now, let me talk to your daddy and Adelynn’s mommy.” I took a deep breath but didn’t count; I’m not sure I’ll ever count again. I release Laura’s hand and wave them over, only taking one step forward. “Would it be okay if I explain stuff to Mrs. Bailey first? Then maybe she can sit with Laura while I talk to you, Mr. Hurst.”
They exchange a look I am too young to understand, and Mrs. Bailey says, “Let’s get a snack. You talk, and I’ll listen.”
I decide not to pull any punches. “I think Adelynn was trying to baptize herself.”
Mrs. Bailey’s face turns a shade of pale I’d only read about in fantasy books—cave dwellers were supposedly this color. “Excuse me?”
A doctor stops in his tracks. “Yes, ma’am?”
“Sorry, she was talking to me.” I wave the doctor away. “We’re going through something.”
I’m more of an adult than ever, and I hate it. I want to be a kid, maybe even younger than thirteen. I wish Samantha and I had stayed outside with Adelynn and Laura, drawn hearts and stars with the smooth chalk. My hand would be pink and dry right, now not clammy and chilled. I want to go back to two hours ago when I invited Samantha over to the Hursts’ in the first place. Riding to Laura’s house, I passed her. Company would be nice, I thought. On a hot day like today, I bet I’ll get bored with the kids. I wish my legs had kept pumping the pedals, keeping up the momentum from the hill. They wouldn’t be sore now, and Adelynn wouldn’t be in the hospital.
I’m not sure I want to babysit anymore.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” the short, rotund doctor says. Sweaty and harried, he takes off running the moment he finishes the sentence.
“Loss? What loss?”
Welcome back, Mrs. Bailey.
With false confidence, I regurgitate Laura’s story—including Samantha’s part. I have a lot of questions for her. She should’ve told me that they were in the pool. I know Laura will mention it if I don’t.
“So, this was Adelynn’s idea? Oh, Mike’s going to kill me!” Face going red, she coughs, “I mean, Mr. Hurst may blame me. Adults do silly things.”
I bat my eyelashes and bring my voice up an octave a little to feign innocence. “Why would he blame you? You weren’t even there.”
It’s cold, I notice. It’s almost like a breeze is brushing my bare legs. My cousin told me if you felt cold “real quick like,” you’re near a ghost.
Mrs. Bailey’s response quells the urge to swivel my head. “Well, he doesn’t like the church we go to. And he’s right, you know. We’ve only been a few times, and already they’ve tried to baptize us. Look what it’s done to Adelynn!”
A wheeze comes from a room we pass—room 5A. I shiver from the sound, the temperature forgotten.
My hand reaches my mouth too late; I can’t stop myself from blurting, “Why is what church you go to any of his business?”
“Out of the mouths of babes,” Mrs. Bailey sighs. Babes? Which kind of babe does she think I am? “He wants the best for us. He’s been friends with Adelynn’s dad for years.”
We’ve walked in a circle. Just as I’m about to ask if he’s her friend too, I see him hop up from a worn charcoal chair and rush towards us. Laura sits obediently on the chair beside his now empty one, eyes downcast. Too-big sandals kick the air violently. I want to scoop her in my arms.
“Wendy! What did Hailey say?” I’m the ghost I felt earlier, only before I knew I’d become one. “Tell me everything,” Mr. Hurst continues.
Mrs. Bailey rolls her eyes. “She’s right here, you know. You could ask her.”
That’s the way my mother talked to my father last week when he stormed into the kitchen demanding dinner after I pointed out eating at 7:45 p.m. instead of 7:00 p.m. wouldn’t kill him. She said, “You know what, you’re right, Hailey!” I mean, I know.
“Alright, alright.” Mr. Hurst raises his arms. “Hailey, what did Laura tell you? She won’t talk to me at all.”
I snicker; his glare puts an end to my amusement. “In summary, Laura said Adelynn wanted to swim. Then she suggested a game that’s basically like floating or being baptized, so sh—”
“I told you that church was no good, Wendy! What did I say? I told you to go anywhere but there.” What a jump.
“Or your church,” Mrs. Bailey mutters.
Mr. Hurst soldiers on, “Did you listen? No! And now you’ve scarred Laura, and Adelynn nearly drowned.” His emotions were more heightened than I’ve ever seen my dad’s—even when talking about a child that wasn’t his.
“So—” I begin raising my voice above his. “That bit doesn’t matter. What matters is that Samantha saw them in the pool and said we should go check on them. I’d only looked away for a second. She must have thought what they were doing looked weird.”
“So I’ve Samantha to thank for Adelynn’s life, not you?” Mr. Hurst asks. Again, he sounds like he’s talking about Laura, not Mrs. Bailey’s little girl. “I don’t think you should babysit Laura anymore.”
Whether Mrs. Bailey or I say, “What?” first is unclear. But we both bombard Mr. Hurst with thoughts and questions with the same theme: how dumb he is. I never say the word; he’s an adult. Again, he lifts his hands, a sure admittance of being weak-willed—according to my dad.
“We’ll talk again later—after Samantha and I talk,” he says.
Salty liquid leaks from my tear ducts. Mr. Hurst offers no comfort; Mrs. Bailey’s arm wraps around me. “No tears, darling. Adelynn will need us when she wakes up; her dad won’t be here for another two hours. Who knows, we may be home by then.”
“Wait. I can still sit for Adelynn?”
“Of course! You saved her life. As for Laura... I’ll work on Mr. Hurst.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Bailey.” I sniff.
“Hailey, call me Wendy.”