12:23 p.m.
Carrie is still here. She’s had two cups of not-quite-coffee; I have reluctantly nursed half of one. We’ve lied to each other about our occupations, and she has given me some bullshit excuse about why she didn’t have a coat. “I took it off in the car and didn’t even notice until I was a ways away. Can you believe it?” No.
“I have an extra coat you can borrow.”
Carrie shakes her head. “No, not necessary. A little while longer here, and I’ll be okay to hoof it back.”
“Sure.” My smile falters.
“I’m starving,” she says. Her eyes move to the empty grocery store bag on the floor.
I sigh. “How could I have forgotten my manners? I only have a few things like cheese and chocolate left, but if you’d like—”
Dead eyes twinkle for the first time as she interrupts my lie. “Oh! I love chocolate.”
“Well, that’s easy.” I fetch the chocolate bar from my purse and hand it to Carrie. “It’s nothing fancy, really,” I start.
By the time I sit back on the edge of the bed, she’s already devoured most of it. I guess she was actually hungry. I resist the urge to make her eggs.
She stands. Calf muscles tense up, my fight instinct in full gear again. “Just putting some wood in the fire,” she says and puts her hands up. “Sorry about that.” Carrie crouches and stabs at the wood. I watch on. Tiny bits of ash float in the metal belly exposing a new, angry orange. “It’s the silence, isn’t it?” she asks.
I jump, having been mesmerized by the flames. “What?”
“The silence is why you’re on edge, right?”
I nod. “Yeah, the silence.”
An eyebrow flicks up in amusement. Carrie knows something I don’t; I am raw and exposed. Who is this woman? “I play the radio when it’s too quiet,” she says.
“Didn’t know there was a radio.” Even if I did, I’m not sure I would want to block out my only real defense.
Carrie grunts as she stands. The sound ages her in a way her smooth face and unblemished hands conceal. “It’s right under here. No one ever thinks to look under here—unless they are nosey or looking for a first aid kit.”
“How did I not think to look under the sink?” I sound more upset than I am. After all, I had been under the sink. Only I’d been looking for something else.
Her mouth crooks. “Could be you just aren’t curious in nature.” She knows I’ve been under the sink, though. How else would the lighter fluid be by the fire?
“Usually, I am.” I shrug then thank her for the radio. “You sure you don’t want a jacket?” This time, she takes the hint.
“You know, I will take it. Thank you.” I bring her a gray and white coat that is two sizes too big; my mother bought it for me when I was a whopping five pounds heavier than I am now. I carry it most places, though I’ve never known why. “Maybe we’ll see each other again,” Carrie says as she slides it on. It’s loose on her too, but not as much.
I usher her to the back door—five whole steps away—and open it ceremoniously. “It was lovely to meet you, Carrie.”
“You too, A—Jill.” Blood rushes out of my face, and I’m struck still. She meant ‘as well’ but realized she already said ‘too.’ Right?
“Good luck out there! Sor—sorry I can’t drive you,” I stutter out.
Carrie shakes her head and pats me on the shoulder. “No problem. Take care of yourself, and be careful of that curiosity you have.” She winks. “I hear it kills cats.” Every nerve in me demands I run away. It’s not what she said, it’s how she said it.
She steps outside, where the wind has picked up. I expect her to turn around, ask for another cup of coffee or to wait until the wind’s died down. She doesn’t. For a reason only Rachael could dissect, I don’t close the door until she’s out of sight. Before I do, I glance down.
Carrie’s boot prints remind me of Lynn Pond and Laura Hurst. Silynn’s making me crazy. I know that Hailey, Justice, Carrie, Dave, Peter, or the waitress at Sodas ’n More did not kill Laura. Yet I cannot shake the feeling that an amalgamation of them did. A chill has spread to my bones, and until the faces of Silynn’s residents leave my mind, I’m not sure I will be able to shake it. I curl up in a ball on the floor in front of the fireplace. Journaling can’t help me now.