I think that few would care to sail
On board the barque Dyspeptic,
Though there’s something rather fit and hale
About the Antiseptic;
But many a sport of the frugal sort
Would book by the Economic,
And of honest mirth there should be no dearth
Aboard the good ship Comic.
The millionaire would pay his fare
For a passage per Aurific
And the bishop’s scope would be met, I hope,
By a berth on the Beatific;
The countryman would feel at home
On board the bold Bucolic
And the chorus girl could cross the foam
In fine style on the Frolic.
Geologists could much enjoy
A jaunt on the Jurassic,
And the doctors one might well decoy
With the Clinic or Boracic;
All politicians outward bound
Would sail by the Polemic,
And the professorial folk be found
Aboard the Academic.
The chemist’s tip would be, wait for the ship
That bears the name Synthetic.
The maid of today would sail away
On the Lipstic(k) or Cosmetic;
SS Hydraulic Drys* might find
Sufficiently symbolic,
While the Wets,* of course, would remain behind
And wait for the Alcoholic.
(White Star Line Magazine, June 1927, reproduced from the Manchester Guardian)