Chapter Thirteen

At last she could let go. Someone else was willing to take the burden from her, at least for the moment. Ever since that fateful day in Kandahar, she’d been holding in the guilt of failing those innocent people on the bus. Brett’s subsequent betrayal of her and his country was the icing on the cake. She hadn’t yet forgiven herself for either lapse in judgment.

But now the words were out. Surprisingly, Cam hadn’t turned from her in disgust, nor had he blamed her. She’d expected both. After all, he exuded patriotism. Being a soldier meant everything to him. He would never jeopardize the very people he was protecting, nor fall for someone on the wrong side of the law, she was sure. So she’d anticipated disdain, that she was in some way deficient for her behavior. Instead, Cam cradled her in his arms and shouldered her pain and embarrassment. Her tears flowed faster.

She’d never been one to cry much. Growing up with brothers had weaned her from that at an early age. She’d always been independent, so when she joined the Army her parents hadn’t been too surprised. Neither had they been when she chose to stay on the west coast, visiting only on holidays or through FaceTime.

After she reported Brett and returned to her life here in Abbottsville, she told her family very little of what transpired. They had their own lives up in Boise, Idaho, where her parents had retired, so it was simpler to tell them she and Brett had broken up and she was starting a new chapter in her life. They’d accepted her explanation, though urged her to start her business nearer to them. She’d declined. Later she wished she hadn’t, but the die was cast. She’d grown to love her home and new business, had thought she’d come to terms with blaming herself. Until now, as she cried her eyes out in the arms of the handsome CID special agent. She obviously still had some unresolved issues.

It didn’t take long for the storm of tears to pass. As it lessened, she became aware of Cam by degrees. The hardness of his chest against her unrestrained breasts was a shield, protecting her from her downward spiral. Unlike cold steel, his body exuded warmth that seeped into her, strengthening her weakened spirit. She burrowed into it, while wrapping her arms around his back.

Through the material of his shirt, his rippling muscles invited her fingers to explore. She rubbed her hands up and down the wide expanse of his back, enjoying the friction. His arms around her tightened, and she thought she heard him moan, but it was cut off so quickly perhaps she imagined it.

Her tears had stopped. She should release him. But a new storm threatened. She hadn’t been with a man since Brett, hadn’t trusted her choices in companions. Brett’s defection had cautioned her to remain celibate, and his subsequent courtroom nastiness had only reinforced that decision. He’d been so far from what she’d imagined, she’d decided to swear off men. Then Cameron appeared on her horizon.

His hot body in a uniform, plus overall good looks, had snared her attention at the court martial, as well as Elena’s. They’d salivated over him at the time, but she’d never thought she’d see him again. Besides, she’d needed to pick up the pieces after Brett. She didn’t need a man to be fulfilled. Or so she thought. By the way she was reacting to Cam now, she realized her attraction from back then had only lain dormant. His kindness, gentleness, and quiet strength had awakened her desires. God, she felt protected in his embrace. Protected and aroused.

The arousal part scared her. Here she was, finding another soldier wildly attractive. If she was smart, she’d push him away, thank him for his kindness, and call it a night. He wouldn’t press for more. He’d already proven he was a gentleman. He was nothing like Brett.

Since she’d met him a few days ago, he’d been only professional and understanding, quietly strong and reliable through the home invasion, the fire, and now their flight into the wilderness. He’d never come on to her, had simply offered opinions while listening to her explanations. She had no idea whether he looked at her that way or not. He’d make a great poker player, with no hint of what he was thinking visible to another person. Perhaps that was why she was getting more turned on as the seconds ticked by. She’d love to see him lose control.

Brett never had. He’d always been in control in the bedroom, as well as in the war room. His orgasms had been quiet, disciplined releases, and she’d stifled her screams to match his restraint. She had no idea whether Cam would be the same. Maybe she was destined to only be attracted to cold fish.

She pressed closer to him and felt his arousal between them. So, not a cold fish. She raised her head and opened her eyes. His dark brown ones stared back at her, a glint of confused desire in their depths.

“What the hell are you doing, Audrey?” His voice was hoarse, questioning. He stepped back, arms dropping to his sides, and ran a hand over his face. She took a step forward. Their chests touched. His gaze never left hers. “I’ll repeat: What are you doing?”

Her heart skipped a beat. It had been a long, long time since she’d acted on a sexual attraction. Part of her wanted to turn tail and run to her room. It wasn’t too late. She could still save face. A small part of her wanted to remove Brett’s final hold on her. She didn’t want her last lover to be a traitor. She met his look head on.

“I want you, Cam Harris. I think I wanted you as soon as I saw you at Brett’s court martial. I’ve been fighting the attraction, but why? We’re both adults. You obviously want me.” Her cursory glance down his body reassured her of the fact.

He shook his head. “Audrey, no. You’re hurting. You’ve lost your shop, your house has been breached, and you’ve had to leave everything behind. I’m not going to take advantage of you when you’re vulnerable.”

Take advantage of her? Was that what he thought this was? Without breaking eye contact, she reached up and unbuttoned the first button on his shirt. “I’m taking advantage of you. I’m not vulnerable, and I’m not confused. I want to be with you. I want to feel your arms around me. I want you inside me. I—”

“You want me to erase Brett. He’s hurt you in so many ways, and you want new memories.” His eyes trailed down to her fingers, but he made no move to stop her.

Her fingers trembled as she reached up and unbuttoned the next button on his shirt. “Don’t tell me what I’m feeling or doing. If I’d wanted that, I would have taken care of that itch a long time ago. I’ve not been with anyone since Brett. No man has tempted me. Until you.”

His eyes widened, but it was the truth. Falling for a traitor had seriously undermined her self-confidence in the love department, just as failing to turn a terrorist recruit had made her second-guess her Army career. Deciding to take a step back in both arenas had helped her clear her head. Now she had a fantastic second career as a florist. And the man standing before her tweaked her libido in a way she’d never felt before.

Lust? Yeah, she’d experienced that with Brett and others. Attraction to him had been instantaneous. But now that she’d gotten to know Cam a little bit more, she realized they were like yin and yang. He was calm, patient, and intelligent. She was headstrong, impatient, and smart, too. He was driven to do well in whatever he set his mind to. She had the same work ethic. With both of them striving to be the best, sex together would be off the charts. Just like yin and yang, they’d fit together and complement each other. She wanted to get to that fitting together part stat.

She unbuttoned another button. His gaze remained trained on hers, his chest rising and falling rapidly beneath her hands. She undid another button. “Unless you don’t want me?”

Oh, that was a chickenshit challenge. She already knew he was as hard as a lightning rod for her. She was feminine enough to want to toy with him. Just a little.

“You know I do,” he rumbled.

She smiled and unbuttoned the next button, spreading wide the deep vee she’d made. Too bad he wore a crisp, white T-shirt underneath. She was dying to see him without a shirt on. She bet David’s statue wouldn’t hold a candle to Cam Harris naked. “Then why don’t you show me?”

She ran her hands down his chest, over his abdomen, and he sucked in a breath. His body was taut, but she could see the effort it cost him to remain so. He was trembling in place, his hands fisted as tight as a first-time roller-coaster rider’s.

But then whatever resolve he’d been hanging onto broke, and her body practically rejoiced at his determined expression. His hands came up to frame her face, his fingers sinking into the hair at the sides of her head. Her eyes nearly rolled back at his touch. If this contact sent her swooning, what would happen when he touched her elsewhere? She wanted to find out. God, did she.

Pulling her lower lip between her teeth, she met his gaze. It was smolderingly hot. Whoever said brown eyes were boring had never looked into Cam’s eyes. Tiny gold flecks around the pupils glittered like Fourth of July sparklers, and the brown color ranged from deep umber to tawny. And right now, he wasn’t looking into her eyes, but staring at her lips.

“I’m trying like hell not to take advantage of our situation. I needed your help. I didn’t come here to get into your pants. But, God Almighty, I’m losing this battle. You’ve got to help me here. Otherwise, in about five seconds I’m going to strip you naked and see what I’ve been imagining.”

His honorable words stoked the furnace of her growing desire. It was part of his allure. That, and all those muscles, tame within a fitted cotton shirt. He was so damn sexy when he tried to hold himself in check. Her blood pounded in her ears. Butterflies fluttered to life in her stomach. She grew embarrassingly damp between her legs. It would be mortifying if she blew up before he even touched her. She took a shaky breath. “One thousand…two thousand…three thousand…four thousand…five thousand. Your five seconds are up, Special Agent.”

His eyes widened, and his warm breath fanned her face as it whooshed out of him. He stared at her for another five-beat before reaching out and grabbing the hem of her sleep shirt, pulling it up and off her. His move was clumsy and lacked finesse and the shirt snagged under her arms, but she quickly raised them. Cool air wafted over her naked skin as she stepped back. Her nipples pebbled in response, tightening more when his gaze dropped to them. His whisper came out raspy. “My imagination didn’t even come close.”

His hungry gaze roved over her. Everywhere it paused, her nipples, her stomach, even the place between her legs that was still covered, reacted to his look like a physical touch. Her breasts ached for his hands to cover them, mold them. Her stomach tightened. And God help her, her woman’s place throbbed. She swayed from the strength of her reaction.

He’d been imagining her naked like she’d been doing about him? Erotic as that thought was, it was time for the thinking to end and the exploring to start.

“Finish undressing me, Cam, before I explode. Please.”