45.

One night

I hear crying

and it’s not Lizzie

because she is at

the hospital.

My nightmares are back?

I think.

But when I walk

from my room

down the

hall

looking for

the dream,

I find

Momma.

Crying and drinking.

Her mascara has smudged

and her nose is red

and when she talks

her voice

is all run together

and plump

with words.

Oh, Hope,

she says,

I sure do

miss your

daddy.

I sure do.