Centuries Ago
Muddy
“Muddy, you need to let me go. The pack calls for your blood,” Brandon insists, clutching my arm, urging me to listen. “They say they have a witch with them. The mate of the Alpha, and she is talented with curses.”
I snort, telling Brandon what I think of that. It’s only us now, in the mountain home. Drakon departed the cavern a fortnight ago, telling me to do the same. “I know a lost battle when I see one, brother. We’ll make a new home somewhere else,” Drakon says. After my constant refusal, Drakon spread his wings, not looking back.
Beneath the mountain, I hear them, the howls and yips of the pack. They want Brandon back. I thought scaring them with some flames would make them back down. I thought wrong. Drakon says I’m too soft. If he were in my position, Drakon vows to burn down both the wolves and their homes. I’m not my brother, and I will never be him. That is fine though, because Brandon accepts me just the way I am. He loves my mercy, yet curses it will be my undoing.
“We will leave the wolves then, Brandon. Find a new home. I can take us anywhere in the world,” I begin, but it’s not a new argument.
Brandon adamantly shakes his head. “This is my home, Muddy. They have my mother and brothers. I need to give myself up.”
“Where were they, when this Alpha wanted to share you among his wolves like a piece of fuckable meat?” I am aware I sound harsh, but I need to drive the point home. There is nothing for Brandon here. Unable to stop, I grab his arm, insistent. “I am your family Brandon, the only one on your side. Do not push me away.”
“You’ll move on. Find a new mate to cherish.” Brandon nudges me to the mouth of the cave, as if that will persuade me to shift and leave him to his fate.
“There will never be anyone else!” My voice thunders through the vast cave, cracking with need.
Brandon softens. “I won’t be able to live with myself, knowing I got you killed.”
I show Brandon teeth. “Dragons don’t die easy.”
“I know one bronze dragon who dies, doing the right thing.” Brandon comes close, pulling me to a kiss.
It is not the appropriate time, but I suppose in a way, it is. I can never resist Brandon, or push him away. He is that addictive, that dangerous. Drakon tells me one insignificant omega is going to be the end of me, a shameful way for a dragon shifter to perish, but my brother understands nothing. Sacrificing my life for the man I love is the greatest gift of all and maybe he’ll see that one day, when Drakon finds his own mate.
“I am truly sorry,” Brandon whispers, gaze stricken.
I open my mouth to ask him why he is apologizing, before the realization sinks in. Brandon opens his hand, revealing an arrowhead tipped with something, poison or some kind of numbing agent. He stabs it against the side of my neck, not deep enough to seriously injure, but enough to score a line of blood. It works lightning quick, paralyzing my muscles. I lose my balance, and I can’t even move my mouth to curse Brandon. He catches me, laying me down on the ground.
He kisses my forehead, the bridge of my nose, my mouth, each kiss tastes of farewell and sorrow.
“Thank you,” he breathes, clutching at my frozen fingers. I can do nothing but stare at him, the anger in me fading away, and turning to anguish. “For saving me, for loving me.”
But I couldn’t save you in the end, I want to scream. Brandon can’t hear my wordless cry.
“I love you, my brave stubborn dragon.” I taste the salt of his tears as he kisses my mouth again. Cold empty space occupies the warmth where he once stood. My ears catch the sound of his fading footsteps and I know this is our final good bye.
How miserable am I, that I cannot even utter the same three words?
I love you. I love you. I love you.
I strain my hearing, but I can’t hear anything from up here. The growls become more prominent. The cheers more crude and loud, but the ear-piercing scream shakes me more than anything—a pure note of pain and terror. Brandon. Awful images race through my head, each one worse than the last.
Rage spears through me, and I silently yell at my muscles to move, but my body lies still as a corpse, immovable as the rock I lay helpless upon. My surroundings fall away, and all I hear is the pure single note, the sound of Brandon’s suffering, his pleading. My proud, defiant omega cannot go like a hog to the slaughter.
Brandon is mine.
A growl more beast than human forces its way out of my throat. With a howl, I break the invisible bonds holding my body down. Stumbling, I peer out of the cave’s entrance, where the awful sound is loudest. I see Brandon, bloody and bruised, and I lose it. It is the first and only time I give in to the seething beast in me. My dragon. Leathery wings rip through my clothes and shoulder blades. I step out the ledge, feeling the wind howling against my face. My bare feet are no longer human, they become claws, perfect for ripping apart stupid little wolves who don’t know any better. When I spread my wings, I’m half-shifted, but time is not a luxury I possess.
With a shriek, I jump, trusting my wings to carry me aloft. I climb higher, needing momentum, and the sky welcomes me into a familiar embrace like a lover would. I block out all sound, except Brandon’s voice, ringing in my ears. I tuck my wings against my body and dive downwards, towards my pitiful prey.
Beneath my serpentine form, a bond fire burns and tied to the stake is my beloved, screaming out my name. If they want to play with flames, then I am happy to oblige them. Opening my mouth wide, I let loose several balls of flame. They hit the trees, a group of wolves standing stupidly to one side. I let chaos out, and I don’t intend for order to reign again. The fire quickly spreads and the mangy wolves scatter. Fur catches fire easily I am told, and it is true. The wolves scream and try to run, but there is no escape.
By then, Brandon stops screaming. The shifters in human form throw spears at me. They aim arrows, but I hardly feel the weapons puncturing my scales.
In my fury, pain doesn’t exist. Only rage, and I make sure none of the wolves remain alive to claim vengeance against me. I land in the clearing I made. The flames still burn strong, sweeping through the rest of the forest in a wave. Shifting back to human, I take halting steps towards the bond fire. A funeral pyre is more accurate, but who gives a damn? What remains of Brandon is a blackened mess, but his mouth remains frozen in a perfect ‘O’. To my horror, the corpse makes a rasp, a wheeze—sounds a dying animal would make.
He is still alive, I think with shock. God, this is not the way I envisioned Brandon would die. I want to see my Omega tomorrow, same as ever. I intend to see him grow old with wisdom, to hear the sound of his voice, but that is wishful thinking.
I can almost make out the words, or I imagine them anyway. I whisper them back. “I love you.”
Fire doesn’t touch a dragon. We don’t burn easy, and I walk among the scattered wood and hay to reach my Brandon. Tears streak down my ashen face as I reach him. I hold a hand out, partially shifting them to claws, then with one quick thrust to his chest, I end his misery. It’s easy, shoving claws into charred meat.
“You will rue the day, dragon, you burnt my mate and my family to cinders,” a voice croaks.
I snap my head, focusing on the origin of the voice. Stepping down from the pyre, I walk among the corpse-strewn ground and discover it comes from a female in a black cloak and ruby red eyes and hair. A witch, the Alpha’s mate, I remember. She must’ve been beautiful, before the fire stole it all.
“You took what belonged to me, I simply did the same,” I tell her. Ending Brandon’s life out of mercy seared whatever goodness is left in me. I do not pity the creature cursing my name.
She spits at my bare feet, and declares, “I will bestow upon you the worst kind of curse, dragon. You will live, only to see your mate reborn. You will love, only to lose it again, and nothing can break this cycle.”
Then she flings something at me with the burnt stumps of her finger where a fat ruby sits on a gold band. Some invisible energy courses through me, sending some kind of pulse through my surroundings. I stagger backwards, expecting her to say more, but her body remains silent.
With a last look at her, I go to Brandon again and gently take his body down. I rip one cloak from a corpse and wrap him in it. I shift, place the bundle carefully around my claws, and become airborne once again.
I take Brandon away, far from a place of violence and blood, to somewhere beautiful. Hours, then days passed and I settle for his burial place. A single young pine tree grows upon the snow covered mountain, its leaves coated with the first sliver of snow. Underneath the tree, I bury my beloved and recite all the prayers I know from half a dozen dead religions.
I place a stack of rocks by the young tree, and remember the witch’s words. Her curse will take root, I know. What she says will come to pass. I will love and lose that love, over and over. It is a kind of hell I suppose, but I am selfish enough to look forward to the next time I see Brandon again, or his next reincarnation.
My brother will say I am a fool, but that is fine. I close my eyes and recall the short but wonderful moments I spent with my wolf. Each one, I hold close to my heart like a treasure. I won’t forget, because his reincarnation would come into this world, without a clue. I will keep them safe, and wait for the moment I can tell him about us, our story, different but alike, through different eras. To love someone so much is a painful thing, and to let go is unbearable, but I will endure.
Wintery winds lash above my face, but I see the sun about to rise in the distance. There will always be hope, Brandon liked to say, and I would always laugh at his enthusiasm. Then I reach for my wings again and lift myself upwards. Like a newborn dragonling, I race for the heavens, hoping to find paradise, disappointed when it doesn’t exist. I glide and swoop like I’m a new person, before pulling myself back to the earth, to Brandon’s grave. This flight, I will dedicate to my wolf, who always smiles and sees the good in everyone.
“Until the next time we meet, beloved,” I say, laying a kiss on the rock.