The Best Hero in the Nebraska Series Competition
This series of posts was a lot of fun to write. I had people vote for the winners in each post and then totaled up the results to find out who won. Here are the characters who competed for the slot of “Best Hero in the Nebraska Series”:
Her Heart’s Desire – Rick Johnson
A Bride for Tom – Tom Larson
Eye of the Beholder and To Have and To Hold – Dave Larson
The Wrong Husband – Owen Russell
Shotgun Groom – Joel Larson
His Redeeming Bride – Neil Craftsman
Without further ado, here are the posts. Enjoy!
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The Best Hero in the Nebraska Series: Who is the Sexiest?
(Posted on December 26, 2011)
Ruth Ann Nordin: I see we have Dave Larson up first. Dave, what makes you the sexiest hero in the Nebraska Series?
Dave: I’m sexy because I work out in the fields a lot. I believe exercise and eating right are good for the body. Plus, I get two books instead of one. That’s because I’m the most desirable male lead in any of the books you’ve ever done. I don’t hear women clamoring for a sequel for Tom, Joel, Rick, Neil, or Owen. Nope. Only me. And that’s because I’m the sexiest hero you got.
Joel: *rolls eyes* You’re not the sexiest hero, Dave. You’re the most conceited. I have never seen anyone more in love with himself. Next Christmas, I’ll remember to buy you a pocket mirror so you can see the one you love most wherever you go: you.
Dave: Hey, that’s not fair. I love Mary more than anyone else.
Joel: Yeah, I feel sorry for her sometimes. It’s amazing that bed fits both of you and your big ego.
Ruth: So Joel Larson, you’re all dressed up. No body to show off?
Joel: Ruth, looks fade over time, and even with great exercise and diet, there’s no substitute for what truly makes a man sexy: intelligence. Women love a thinker, someone who isn’t afraid to challenge the world with his wisdom instead of his physical strength. This is why I became a doctor instead of confining myself to farming. I want to learn and never stop.
Dave: I guess that works if you don’t have a great body.
Joel: Your body isn’t that great, Dave.
Dave: For the 19th century, it is. We don’t have gyms in our time.
Tom: No, no, no. You both got it wrong. Physical beauty and intelligence aren’t the best things about a man.
Ruth: What do you think makes a man sexy?
Tom: Giving the woman chocolate. And not just for Valentine’s Day or her birthday. He must have a steady supply of chocolate on hand at all times, and if she worries she’s getting fat, you say, “Oh honey, you look better today than you did when we got married. You’re sweet so you deserve chocolate. Reward yourself for the loveliness that is you.”
Joel: *gags* The loveliness that is you? Wow. Now I know why Jessica stays with you. You fill her up with chocolate all the time.
Tom: I’ll have you know that chocolate has a rather romantic influence on her.
Joel: Right, because it’s a natural aphrodisiac. But you don’t have to fatten her up. There are four other aphrodisiacs right in your kitchen. There’s cornstarch, buttermilk, tomatoes, and avocados. I know all of this because I’m an intellectual. I can keep April pretty happy without shoving something fattening in her face all the time.
Tom: Oh please! Like any of those other four things are as good as chocolate. *rolls eyes*
Ruth: Okay, so next up is Owen Russell. What do you think makes a man sexy?
Owen: The others got it wrong. The sexiest thing a man can do for the woman in his life is to shower her with gifts. And lots of them. Don’t be afraid to pick up flowers and candy and whisper sweet nothings in her ear. Be romantic. She’s special, so you need to let her know it.
Joel: So that’s what Owen looks like! I always wondered.
Tom: I wonder what Richard looks like.
Owen: Richard?
Joel: We have an older brother named Richard. He is mentioned a couple of times in the books, but he probably won’t ever get his own book.
Dave: Because he wasn’t a farmer in Nebraska. He married his wife when we were all in New York, and Ruth has this policy where if it’s not out west, she’s not interested anymore. I mean, she was interested in the East Coast when she wrote the Virginia books, but then she went through her Harlequin Historical western romance phase and was hooked. Well, actually she wrote Eye of the Beholder–my book that started the whole Nebraska Series–and was hooked on historical westerns. You can all thank me for being so sexy that she had to keep writing them. If it weren’t for me, you would never have had your own books.
Joel: Tom and Owen, refer to what I said about his ego a few paragraphs up.
Ruth: Moving on to Rick Johnson. What do you think makes a man sexy?
Rick: You want to know why I waited until last to have my own book in the first generation of Larson siblings? Because I refused to show up when Ruth was ready to write Her Heart’s Desire. I was determined to do my own book on my own time. You know why? Because the sexiest thing on Earth is a bad boy. I’m so bad, I’m good.
Tom: Actually, you don’t look like a bad boy. You look like a psychotic killer. You’re not carrying a knife or something behind your back are you?
Rick: What? No. What gave you that idea? I’m a bad boy. The black leather jacket, the serious look, the facial hair, the sultry look, the dark background.
Tom: To be honest, you look a little scary. Are you sure you didn’t become a judge to get away with your murdering spree? I mean, who’s going to convict a judge, right?
Joel: Oh, get real, Tom. He’s not scary. He’s just trying to play “danger and excitement” to women gullible enough to fall for it. The truth is, he’s a big softie. He’s as dangerous as a dust bunny. You want something scary? Be locked in a room with Sally for an hour. *shivers* It happened to me once, and I didn’t know if I was going to make it. If I had to listen to her ramble on for one more minute, I would have gone crazy.
Ruth: That being said, let’s move on to Neil Craftsman. Neil, what makes a man sexy?
Neil: You’re missing out, Joel. The best way a man can be sexy is by listening to women, especially the love of his life. I make it a point to listen to Sarah whenever she wants to talk. A woman loves it when a man takes the time to discuss her feelings and then shares his. Don’t be afraid to be sensitive.
Tom: Sensitive?
Joel: Don’t worry. You got that covered with the pink buggy and all those girls you got. You even tear up whenever they say they love you.
Tom: I don’t tear up. I have something in my eye.
Joel: If that’s true, you need some eye drops because you tear up a lot. You might need antibiotics or something. I could check you out if you want.
Tom: Back off, Joel. There’s nothing wrong with me.
Neil: Don’t be ashamed of caring about your wife and children, Tom. Believe me, when it all comes down to it, nothing is more important than family.
Ruth: Well, on that note, it’s time to vote on the sexiest Nebraska Series hero.
Poll Results:
Dave Larson 70.65% (65 votes)
Joel Larson 8.7% (8 votes)
Tom Larson 0% (0 votes)
Owen Russell 2.17% (2 votes)
Rick Johnson 5.43% (5 votes)
Neil Craftsman 13.04% (12 votes)
Photo credits:
Dave building up his body: File ID: 4308660 © Yuri_arcurs | Dreamstime.com, picture purchased on 12/20/2011, picture no longer available
Joel the intellectual: ID 14776382 © Jason Stitt | Dreamstime.com
Tom handing out chocolate: ID 7045372 © Imagery Majestic | Dreamstime.com
Owen giving out gifts: ID 20441689 © Pares1 | Dreamstime.com
Rick the bad boy: ID 7497954 © Curaphotography | Dreamstime.com
Neil the sensitive type: ID 2601184 © Geotrac | Dreamstime.com
***
Best Poetic Hero from the Nebraska Series
(Posted on December 29, 2011)
Ruth: The results for the sexiest hero are in, and in a pretty strong lead is Dave Larson.
Joel: You’ve got to be kidding me.
Ruth: Nope. He got the most votes.
Joel: It has to be the books. There’s no way he could win had it not been for Eye of the Beholder.
Dave: Sour grapes, Joel. Sour grapes.
Joel: What do you know?
Dave: Well, I know that being a nerd is highly overrated.
Joel: *gasps* I am not a nerd!
Tom: I didn’t get any votes. Not a single person voted for me.
Joel: That’s because no woman wants a big bar of chocolate shoved in her face.
Rick: Who came in second?
Ruth: Neil.
Dave: Neil?
Ruth: Come on, Dave. You worked things out with him in Isaac’s Decision. Don’t be so surprised.
Joel: That settles it. Dave is only nice in the books. Otherwise, he’s a blowhard.
Ruth: That was only one competition. There will be more. Tonight we’re going to find out who is the best poet. Who’s up first? Tom?
Tom: Okay. I’ll go.
“Rose are red.
Violets are blue.
You’re super cute
And fun to be with, too.”
Joel: Wow. I see another 0 votes coming your way.
Tom: What’s wrong with it? I wrote this for Jessica when I proposed to her.
Joel: You’re not making your case any better, Tom.
Tom: But she giggled, said it was adorable, and agreed to marry me.
Joel: You’re still not helping your case.
Tom: Oh fine. If you’re so great, you do one.
Joel: I will. *clears throat*
“Lady rose
of my desire
ever yours”
Tom: And you said mine wasn’t any good? At least mine made sense.
Joel: Mine is an English Haiku.
Tom: Bless you.
Joel: What?
Tom: You sneezed. I just said ‘bless you,’ to be nice.
Joel: Oh good grief. It’s “haiku,” not “achoo.” And it’s an English one, not a Japanese one, so there are fewer syllables required per line.
Tom: But it doesn’t even rhyme.
Joel: Not all poems have to rhyme, Tom.
Rick: Move aside, guys. Here’s how it’s supposed to be done:
“If I were to judge beauty
How far would I have to go
To the heights of heaven
With its stars all aglow
Or would I seek out the fields
Where the spring flowers bloom
Maybe the sunset with its glory
Right as twilight looms
How about the majesty of the
Mountains towering high
Or the swell of the surf
As it brings in the tide
From east to west, I’ve been
And high and low have I sought
But I searched in vain
And found it’d all been for naught
Then you came into my life
Now I understand beauty
Not just in your touch and kiss
But also in the way you love me”
Joel: Oh sure. That’s fine if you’re going by length.
Tom: At least it rhymed.
Owen: I just finished mine. It’s called “Jenny.”
“Just for being you
Each and every day
No other is as lovely
Nor as desirable as you
You are in my heart forever”
Tom: What is it with these poems that don’t rhyme?
Owen: It’s a name poem, Tom. Those don’t have to rhyme.
Tom: At least Rick’s poem rhymed. I hope he beats both of you.
Dave: I got one that rhymes.
Joel: *rolls eyes* I suppose this will be another winner.
Dave: Hey, I worked hard on this. It’s not easy for me to write.
Joel: You can say that again. I still remember your silly endings for Isaac’s Decision.
Tom: Oh come on. He wasn’t that bad.
Joel: And then he gave himself all those 5-star reviews. Tacky, Dave. So tacky.
Dave: I will not let you get under my skin, Joel. I wrote this for Mary.
“My life was incomplete
Until the day I met you
The empty hours, lonely nights
I didn’t know how I made it through
But that’s all over now
Since you came into my life
To make my house a home
And to be my cherished wife
With each and every passing year
I love you more than the one before
And with the years we still have
I know I’ll love you even more”
Joel: Hey, you didn’t write a poem to yourself.
Tom: Of course, he didn’t.
Joel: With Dave, you never know. I seriously thought we’d be hearing something like this:
“Yo, the name is Dave
and I’m really buff
I work on a farm
so I’m ultra-tough
I get two books
Instead of one
And I’ll have number three
Before I’m done
The sun revolves around me
And the moon and stars too
It’s me, myself, and I
No one else will do”
Tom: Honestly Joel, that poem fits your picture up above a lot better than the achoo one.
Joel: *groans* Haiku! It’s a haiku! I really wish I could force you to take an interest in learning something that doesn’t involve farming.
Neil: Can I do my poem, or are you all going to bicker all night?
Joel: Oh, right. I forgot there was someone else in this competition.
Neil: I appreciate the warm welcome, Joel.
Joel: Oh, I was kidding. Go on with your poem.
Neil: Here goes:
“How lovely is my bride who makes my life worthwhile, my life worthwhile;
What sweet dreams could entice you while you sleep?
For in this sleep, your lips curl into a most becoming smile.
Are you dreaming of memories to cherish, of memories to keep?
Could it be me who occupies your mind at night as the moon kisses your brow;
While the summer breeze caresses your skin, caresses your skin.
For whether it be day or night, in wake or sleep, as time allows,
I often find you stealing my thoughts, time and time again.”
Owen: *sighs* So much for the Jenny poem.
Joel: It’s better than Tom’s. And a most excellent choice, Neil, to pick a Refrain Type poem.
Tom: I don’t know. It rhymed, which was cool, but there were those weird repeating phrases. Like “life worthwhile”. I think it should only be said once.
Joel: *rolls his eyes* Of course you do. You don’t understand the structure of this type of poem.
Tom: I don’t care what you said. My poem was better than that. I should get at least one vote this time.
Neil: Oh, good grief. It’s not up for you to decide. It’s up to the people to vote.
Poll Results:
Tom Larson 6.14% (7 votes)
Joel Larson 5.26% (6 votes)
Rick Johnson 6.14% (7 votes)
Owen Russell 0.88% (1 votes)
Dave Larson 74.56% (85 votes)
Neil Craftsman 7.02% (8 votes)
Photo credits:
Tom the poet: ID 7524460 © Imagery Majestic | Dreamstime.com
Joel the poet: ID 22029924 © Jason Stitt | Dreamstime.com
Rick the poet: ID 7497870 © Curaphotography | Dreamstime.com
Owen the poet: ID 20258779 © Pares1 | Dreamstime.com
Dave the poet: File ID: 3313267 © Yuri_arcurs | Dreamstime.com, picture purchased on 12/26/2011, no longer available
Neil the poet: ID 11607956 © Geotrac | Dreamstime.com
***
The Most Romantic Hero in the Nebraska Series
(Posted on January 1, 2012)
Dave: Wahoo! I’ve won two in a row so far! Thank you to everyone who voted for me. You rock! Ruth, I think this means I get a third book. The people have spoken, and they want more of me!
Joel: You’ve got to be kidding me! Did I step into a parallel universe or something? How in the world can Dave get that many votes and the rest of us so little?
Dave: *shrugs* When you got it, you got it.
Joel: Oh, you got it alright. But what you got, I don’t want. Am I the only one who can see how massive your ego is? Seriously? These votes can’t be real. I suspect foul play. I want a recount.
Dave: It’s legit, Joel. You’ll just have to deal with it. There’s no sense in denying the obvious. People just don’t like you as much as they like me.
Joel: Don’t get me started, Dave, or I’ll…
Dave: You’ll what? Bore me with medical terms?
Ruth: Okay, guys. We still have more competitions to do before we’re done.
Joel: And Dave’s going to end up winning, so what’s the point?
Ruth: The point is, I still want to do these posts, and besides, some people did pick you.
Joel: The smart ones.
Dave: Wrong. The smart ones voted for me. The people voting for you felt sorry for you. They were sympathy votes.
Joel: *lunges at Dave*
Ruth: *steps in to break them up* Break it up, guys. This is my blog, and while we’re here, we’re doing it my way. So let’s get on to the competition. Tonight you will each tell everyone your favorite moment with your wife.
Rick: Technically, I’m not married yet in Her Heart’s Desire, though I would be if you’d get to it.
Ruth: I’ve been backed up with other projects.
Rick: Yeah, like To Have and To Hold. You bumped my book back to have that one out sooner.
Dave: And I’m very happy with how To Have and To Hold is going, by the way. There’s no need for me to go in and rewrite any of it for you. The scene where Mary told her mother she wasn’t going to be manipulated anymore was great.
Rick: *sighs* My point is, my favorite memory hasn’t happened yet.
Ruth: Well, let’s pretend I already wrote it. What is your favorite memory with Sally?
Rick: Fine. And this shows what a bad boy I can be. I’m going to kidnap Sally and run off with her so we can elope.
Neil: No way. You won’t actually kidnap her.
Rick: Yes, I will.
Tom: But why?
Rick: Because I want to surprise her.
Tom: Will she cry?
Rick: I don’t think so. This is a romance.
Tom: I think she’ll cry. Kidnapping a woman would scare her.
Rick: I don’t think Sally’s the type to get scared.
Tom: Sure, she is. Just how are you going to kidnap her?
Rick: I don’t know.
Tom: You don’t know?
Rick: No. Remember, the scene hasn’t happened yet. I don’t know the details until Ruth writes it down.
Tom: I hope you don’t throw a blanket over her so she can’t see. That would scare her. I also hope you don’t shove her into some dark and creepy carriage or wagon and leave her to wonder what is going on.
Rick: *sighs* Good grief. This is a romance, not a thriller or a horror novel.
Tom: Well, let’s hope it stays a romance. I wouldn’t want my poor sister to suffer distress.
Rick: Ugh. She’ll be fine. Why don’t we move on to you? What’s your favorite memory?
Tom: My favorite memory is when Jessica said yes to my marriage proposal.
Joel: *snorts* Like that was a surprise. She pretty much came out and said it in front of everyone in A Bride for Tom when you and all those people were hovering around in the entryway of her house.
Tom: Nothing was certain until Jessica actually said “yes” when I asked. You can’t take anything for granted, Joel.
Joel: That includes the wedding night you botched up. *laughs*
Tom: That’s not up for discussion in this post. We’re talking about our favorite memories, not our most embarrassing ones.
Joel: Ah ha! So you admit that you were so clumsy you messed things up!
Tom: I have four daughters. That proves I wasn’t that bad, so drop it.
Owen: The rest of us would like to go at some point, so keep it going. What’s yours Joel?
Joel: Okay. This is easy. It was when April told me I was the best man in the world and that she couldn’t have done better than me. I was even better than Dave Larson. Take that, Dave!
Owen: Joel, no one believes that really happened.
Tom: Yeah, stop making stuff up.
Joel: It could have happened.
Owen: But what really happened?
Joel: *sighs* Okay. My favorite memory was Christmas day when she sat on my lap. It was the first real nice moment we had together.
Owen: That is a good memory.
Neil: I have to admit it is. So what’s yours, Owen?
Owen: Easy. It was when Irving came to town and everyone found out I wasn’t really him. I was put in jail and thought for sure I’d never see Jenny again. But then she showed up, and I knew everything would be alright.
Dave: How could you know that when we were ready to hang you on the spot for lying to her about being someone else?
Owen: Let me clarify my point. I knew everything would be alright between me and her. You and your brothers, however, were another thing.
Neil: The Larsons are pretty fair people, for the most part.
Dave: Like I didn’t have a good reason to be wary of you.
Tom: Oh for goodness’ sakes! Don’t you two start arguing. We’re here to discuss our favorite memories with our wives, not the moment you wanted to clobber someone over the head. What’s yours, Neil?
Neil: Right after I married Sarah, we had a tornado come through the property, and I went to get her necklace because it was the only thing she had left from her parents. When I made it to the cellar, she hugged me, and I knew in that moment that I mattered to her.
Joel: Not bad, Neil. You were brave to risk a tornado to get that necklace for your wife. That’s bound to be better than anything Dave can come up with.
Dave: You’re right, Joel. I didn’t do anything like go out into a storm where a tornado was somewhere on the property. There weren’t any tornadoes in my first book, and there aren’t any in the second one.
Joel: Why do I have the feeling I’m going to hate hearing the rest of this spiel?
Dave: *ignores Joel* My favorite memory of Mary is when she gave birth to my children. At the time To Have and To Hold is written (where I am currently at), it’s just Isaac and Rachel. You see, every time she has a child, I’m always glad she and the children are healthy.
Joel: Oh great. He’s going to get another gazillion votes for that one.
Dave: It’s the truth. Maybe if you thought your wife was going to die and then realized she had a miscarriage, you’d understand.
Joel: I really wish Ruth had done that scene where I gave April an emergency C-section to save her life, but the book never made it that far.
Ruth: *cuts off her characters as they continue to bicker back and forth* Since this post is long enough, I’ll end things here and post the results of the vote for the most romantic hero in the Nebraska Series.
Poll Results
Rick Johnson 2.97% (6 votes)
Tom Larson 1.98% (4 votes)
Joel Larson 39.6% (80 votes)
Owen Russell 8.42% (17 votes)
Neil Craftsman 8.42% (17 votes)
Dave Larson 38.61% (78 votes)
***
The Nebraska Series Hero You’d Like To Date
(Posted on January 9, 2012)
Ruth: This will have to be the last competition I run between the best hero in the Nebraska series because I’m out of ideas on things for the guys to compete on. Someone suggested the guy who can come up with the most romantic date, so that’s what I’m doing tonight. So let’s see which Nebraska hero would be the one you’d go on a date with…
Dave: Wait a minute, Ruth. I wanted to talk to you about doing a third book featuring me and Mary.
Ruth: I’m not even done with the second one, Dave.
Dave: But there’s no harm in planning ahead. You are almost done with To Have and To Hold. I believe you have about 11,000 words left and then you’re done.
Ruth: About that, yes. But this post isn’t about your second book or even a possible third. I have a lot of other books to write anyway, so I can’t even think of a third book. Not that I’m planning on writing a third one.
Dave: I understand you’re busy. I saw the ridiculous amount of books you’re working on at one time. Don’t tell me you make the word counts every single day on those.
Ruth: Well, no I don’t on average, but I have the really good writing day where it actually happens.
Dave: That’s why I’m here. I want to help you. I even took a writing course. Did you know you write too many unnecessary words like “well” and “just”?
Ruth: It’s called the author’s voice.
Dave: Wait a minute. You’re telling me you break the rules on purpose?
Ruth: Yep. But that’s not the point of this post.
Dave: You’re right, and we’ll get to the next round of who is the best hero, but first, I wanted to propose a few ideas on my third book. I’ll even be your ghostwriter. No one needs to know.
Ruth: Uh…except everyone reading this blog right now.
Dave: Oh, I’m sure they’ll keep it a secret. They’re the trustworthy sort. Anyway, here are some ideas I was brainstorming the other day. I’m the one who gets amnesia. Think of how much fun it’d be for me to rediscover my love for Mary.
Ruth: Same idea used twice? I don’t think so, Dave.
Dave: It wouldn’t be the same idea. This time we won’t go to Maine.
Ruth: *sighs*
Dave: Fine. We’ll ditch it. How about a story where some robbers take Mary hostage and I have to rescue her?
Ruth: You really want to spend 80% of the story away from Mary?
Dave: Well, once I rescue her, we could make our way back home and face some hardships. I could save her from a mountain lion or a bear.
Ruth: I’m not seeing it. Look, Dave, I need to get this post going. We’ll start with you. What is your idea of the perfect date?
Dave: Rescuing Mary from a dangerous situation.
Ruth: Really?
Dave: What? I can do it. I might not look like it, but I got some pretty great muscles under this suit.
Ruth: You are going to defeat a mountain lion or a bear with your hands?
Dave: I might have to use a gun, but I don’t mind confronting the wild animals to save her life.
Tom Larson: You’re missing the whole point of a date, Dave. It’s not to prove how great you are. A perfect date is treating your woman like she’s a queen. What I do for Jessica is give her a back massage. The poor thing works hard all day long to take care of the house, me, and the kids. She needs a special time to be pampered.
Ruth: Sounds good to me.
Dave: You don’t vote, Ruth.
Ruth: No, but if I did, I think I’d pick this one. What woman doesn’t want to be pampered?
Tom: See? And Jessica never complains.
Owen: *holds pizza box* Ah, but what is a massage without a home-cooked meal to go with it?
Tom: Home-cooked? You got a pizza.
Owen: That I made.
Dave: You’re right. That’s nothing like saving a woman’s life.
Tom: Will you stop it with the saving her life from a bear or mountain lion thing already? Those don’t even live in Nebraska!
Neil: I think Dave plans to have the robbers take Mary all the way to Washington or something.
Dave: I was giving an example. It doesn’t have to be a bear or mountain lion. It can be something else. Maybe she almost drowns.
Neil: After you taught her how to swim in Eye of the Beholder? Then you’d have to admit you’re a lousy teacher.
Dave: Ugh. I can come up with something good. Just give me a moment.
Ruth: Neil, you’re all dressed up. What is your perfect date?
Neil: I’d take Sarah out to a top-notch restaurant and then to the symphony.
Dave: Boring.
Neil: You only say that because you don’t have refined tastes.
Rick: Refined tastes? I’ll tell you what refined taste is. It’s whisking the love of your life off her feet and doing something totally unexpected but very romantic.
Neil: Which would be…?
Rick: Eloping. What could be more romantic than surprising her with vows to cherish and love her till death do you part?
Tom: Um, like we already made those vows so it’s not going to happen again.
Rick: Not unless you renewed them.
Dave: If that comes with a renewed wedding night, I’m in. But only after I save Mary’s life.
Tom: We get it, Dave. You want to be the awesomest dude in history. Can we get on to Joel now?
…
Tom: Joel?
….
Ruth: Weird. Where is he? I told him to be here tonight. Let me go get him. *steps away from computer to hunt him down* Here he is!
Joel: I’m here under protest.
Ruth: Why?
Joel: Because this whole thing is a waste of time. I got people who are sick and need help, and you’re bugging me so I have to participate in this sham of a competition? We all know who’s going to win. Dave can say he’d spit in Mary’s eye–
Dave: Gross.
Joel: And people would vote for him like crazy. It’s not my fault I was only 17 when Eye of the Beholder was written. The only reason Dave wins these stupid competitions is because of Mary. If it weren’t for Mary, no one would care about him.
Dave: Hey!
Ruth: That reminds me. I got the results from the last poll we ran, and I got good news for you, Joel. You got two more votes than Dave. You won the most romantic hero poll!
Dave: He only won because he whined.
Joel: Oh sure. You can’t take it, can you? For once in your life, you’re not first, and it bothers you to no end.
Dave: Because you went on and on about how wrong it was for people to vote for me. As if it’s my fault I am who I am.
Joel: And we know what to call you. *rolls eyes*
Ruth: Enough, guys! So Joel, do you want to tell us your idea of a perfect date?
Joel: Well, alright. I’d take April on a sleigh ride and enjoy the time talking to her.
Dave: If you include the Abominable Snowman and save her from it, then I can see it being a date worth going on.
Joel: Oh good grief. There is no such thing as an Abominable Snowman.
Dave: And you would know this because…?
Joel: Because I’m not an idiot.
Tom: Wow! I can’t believe Joel called someone besides me an idiot.
Dave: An idiot? Did you just call me an idiot?
Joel: Seriously, Dave, you don’t know?
Ruth: While they continue to argue, we’ll let people vote on who they want to go on a date with.
Poll Results
Dave Larson 16.67% (6 votes)
Tom Larson 22.22% (8 votes)
Owen Russell 8.33% (3 votes)
Neil Craftsman 22.22% (8 votes)
Rick Johnson 2.78% (1 votes)
Joel Larson 27.78% (10 votes)