CHAPTER 13 [TIM] MY GREAT PLAN
After dinner Linnsy came down to give us her mother’s gossip update. When my mother went to the kitchen to make some popcorn, I leaned over and whispered, “I’ve got to talk to you.”
“So talk,” said Linnsy, not bothering to whisper back.
“Privately! Let’s go to my room.”
“You’ve got to be kidding!”
“What’s wrong with going to my room?”
“Well, for one thing, your mother will fuss.”
That was true. The last time Linnsy and I had gone to my room for a private conference Mom had said, “You know, you kids won’t be able to do that much longer.”
It had taken me a minute to realize what she was talking about. When I did figure it out, I was totally disgusted. “Mom!” I cried. Later, I tried to explain to her that (a) I was about as interested in trying to kiss Linnsy as I was in having my toenails removed by a madman with a pair of red-hot pliers and (b) even if I was interested in Linnsy—which I am not, not, NOT—she is about as likely to want me for a boyfriend as Barbie is to date Barney. We may be friends from way back, but when it comes to the wider social world, Linnsy and I are from different planets.
“Mom will fuss, but she’s not ready to go on the warpath about it yet. What’s the second problem?”
“I forgot my Lysol and my rubber gloves.”
Linnsy is of the opinion that my room is somewhat unsanitary.
“I’ll give you some newspaper to sit on,” I said. “This will only take a minute.”
She sighed and followed me to my room. I had been wrong about it taking only a minute; it took about five minutes for me to find a spot for her to sit, even with the newspapers (which I had been joking about but which she insisted on).
“Tim, this place is worse than the county landfill,” she said while I was scrambling to clear a spot for her.
“Are you nuts? The stuff there is all garbage. The stuff here is priceless.”
“Yeah, I’m sure your ancient Tarbox Moon Warriors action figures are going to fetch a big price on the collector’s market. So what do you want to talk about anyway?”
“Pleskit. I’ve got to make friends with him before he thinks we all hate him.”
“So? I’d like to make friends with him myself.”
“But I understand aliens,” I said desperately. “Heck, I just about am one!”
“That’s true. But what does it have to do with me?”
“I’ve got a plan.”
“Tim, the last time you had a plan, I ended up grounded for a week.”
“That was two years ago!”
“Right. Because two years ago I was dumb enough to get involved in that idiotic papier-mâché scheme of yours. Since then I’ve known better.”
“Just listen to this one,” I pleaded. “You won’t have to do much. I’ll be the one taking all the risk.”
She sighed. “I know I’m going to regret this. But go ahead. Tell me what it is.”
“I want to get into Pleskit’s private bathroom.”
“What?”
“I can’t see any other way I’ll get a chance to talk to him. People are always interrupting, or dragging him away.”
“But it’s totally off-limits. Besides, it’s locked.”
“Yeah, but I’ve got a key.”
“You do not.”
“Do too!”
She narrowed her eyes. “How did you get it?”
“Remember two years ago, when Jordan first came to our class and he used to bug me so much?”
“He still does.”
“Yeah, but I can cope with it better now. Anyway, Mrs. Smathers used to let me go down and work in the art storage room, just so I could get away from him.”
Linnsy’s eyes widened. “And you never gave back the key?”
I shrugged. “I meant to. But she left at the end of that year, and I never quite got around to it—”
“There’s a lot you ‘never quite get around to.’ Okay, so you’ve got a key. I still don’t know what you need me for.”
“Two things. First, you can help me find the key.”
She looked round my room and burst into laughter. “It’s your barnyard, Tim—you dig through the manure!”
“Okay,” I said, trying to keep from losing my temper. “I’ll find it on my own. But when I do, I’ll need your help to create a distraction so I can get out of the classroom.”
“What kind of a distraction?”
“Well, you could faint or something.”
“You’d better have a talk with your mother. Something in your breakfast cereal seems to be affecting your mind.”
“Linnsy!”
“Tim, if you think I’m going to make myself look like an idiot in front of the whole class just so you can sneak into an alien bathroom, you’re even goofier than you look.”
“Linnsy, I’ve got to—”
“Forget it!”
I sighed and followed her out of the room.
Mom gave us a look, but didn’t say anything until Linnsy had gone.
After Mom’s lecture I started looking for the key. I turned up a ton of cool stuff that I hadn’t seen in a long time, which kind of slowed me down, because I kept getting distracted by it. But no key. Then Mom started telling me to go to bed. After the third time I had yelled, “Just a minute, Mom!” she came to my door and said fiercely, “Now, Buster.”
So I sighed and went to bed—which slowed me down even more, because it meant I had to pretend to be asleep for about an hour before I could start looking again.
It was about midnight when I finally found the key.
It was taped to the underside of my desk drawer.
I had put it there so I would know where it was if I ever needed it again.