The euphoria of my kiss with Jed lasted a whole twelve hours before it all went wrong.
Liv had been closing up when I got back to the empty pub after the clifftop kiss. She looked at me with a gleam in her eye. ‘Did Jed follow you?’
I flopped into a chair and sighed happily. ‘He did.’
‘And?’
I tried to look nonchalant. ‘What do you mean?’
Liv threw a bar towel at me. ‘Spill,’ she said.
‘He kissed me,’ I said. ‘Or maybe I kissed him. I’m not sure. But we kissed.’
‘How was it?’
‘Amazing,’ I said. ‘Dreamy.’
She grinned. ‘Drink while you tell me all the details?’
‘Glass of wine, please.’
Liv poured us both a glass and came over to sit with me, checking first that the pub door was locked firmly.
‘Still a bit jumpy?’ I asked.
She looked sheepish. ‘I can’t help it. It’s so remote here, isn’t it? And that wind doesn’t help. And the ghost stories creep me out, even though I know they’re ridiculous. And …’ She trailed off.
‘And?’
‘Nothing.’
‘You said and.’
‘Did I?’ She gave me a broad smile. ‘I’m losing my marbles. I can’t remember what I was going to say.’ She slurped her wine. ‘So tell me everything that happened with Jed. He’s blooming gorgeous.’
‘Isn’t he?’ I groaned. ‘We had a good chat, and we were kind of lying on the grass, watching the sea and it just happened.’
‘Did you …’
‘No,’ I shrieked. ‘We were in plain view of the road.’
Liv gave a Sid-James-style guffaw. ‘So what happened after that?’
I groaned. ‘Then a massive truck roared past and made us both jump, and he remembered he had to be at work.’
‘Ah that’s annoying.’
‘I know, just when it was all going well he ups and disappears.’
‘Like Emily Moon,’ said Liv in a spooky voice.
I glared at her and she stuck her tongue out at me.
‘What job does he do?’ she asked. ‘Why did he have to go to work at this time of night?’
My stomach plummeted into my flip-flops. ‘He’s a delivery driver,’ I said in a small voice.
Liv blinked. She didn’t say anything but I could tell what she was thinking because I was thinking it too. Delivery drivers, unlike pub managers and police officers, generally didn’t work into the night.
‘Maybe he’s doing some distribution stuff,’ Liv said vaguely. ‘Getting things where they need to be overnight.’
‘Maybe he’s married?’
Don’t be so dramatic,’ Liv said. ‘Of course he’s not married. There are loads of reasons for him to go to work at this time. He doesn’t wear a wedding ring, does he?’
I thought of Jed’s large, strong hands and shook my head. ‘No ring.’
‘Message him.’
‘Now? He’s only just left. I don’t want to look like I’m too keen.’
Liv snorted. ‘Tomorrow then.’
‘Maybe.’
‘Ewan was here when he went outside tonight. I made some comment about there being no prizes for guessing where he’d gone and Ewan laughed. Surely he’d have said then if Jed had a wife hidden away at home?’
‘They all bloody stick together though, don’t they? Men.’
Liv laughed. ‘Do you want me to ask him? Ask Ewan if Jed’s married?’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘No.’
‘Which?’
‘Yes. But subtly. Not in a “my mate fancies your mate” way.’
‘Oh I’m brilliant at subtle,’ Liv said. She leaned back in her chair, looking happier than she had when I first came back from my romantic clifftop encounter. ‘I am the queen of subtle.’
‘You’re anything but,’ I teased. ‘Remember when I fancied Justin Blake at school? And you wrote it on the whiteboard, so everyone saw it?’
‘That wasn’t me,’ Liv protested. ‘Was it? Anyway, didn’t you snog him at the Christmas disco when you were dressed as an elf?’
‘I did.’
‘So it had a happy ending.’
I laughed. ‘I suppose so.’
‘I’ll find out more,’ she said. ‘Leave it with me.’
‘So you’re seeing Ewan again soon are you?’ I said, ultra-casually.
‘Not like that!’ Liv looked horrified.
‘I didn’t mean in a romantic way,’ I said. ‘I meant for business. Do you really think he can help increase the pub’s takings.’
She frowned. ‘I’m not sure.’
‘Do you think he’s dodgy?’
Liv sighed. ‘No, I don’t, Phoebe. You’re doing it again.’
‘You just sounded like you had doubts.’
‘I don’t have doubts.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Phoebe, I’ve been running pubs for a long time. I know what I’m doing.’
‘So why do you need Ewan?’
‘Because I don’t know Cornwall and he’s offering to help.’
‘And he doesn’t want anything in return?’
‘Give it a rest,’ she said. ‘I told you, he’s a fixer. He gets stuff done and obviously he gets stuff in return – he’ll take a commission or I’ll pay him for his time. But it’s fine. It’s above board. I checked with Des, remember?’
I nodded. ‘Sorry,’ I said.
The next morning I woke up early, before Liv, which was unusual. I lay in bed, listening to her regular breathing and thinking about Jed. That kiss had been amazing. But the more I thought about him running off, the more I thought how strange it was. Maybe he was married or had a girlfriend. Maybe he just wasn’t that into me. It was hard to tell because I didn’t trust my own judgement about anything any more. I’d made a mistake with Ciara James and she’d lost her life. I’d missed the little puddle-jumping girl’s mother keeping a close eye on her. Who’s to say I’d not misjudged Jed too?
I rolled on to my side and felt for my phone on the bedside table. Then I spent at least twenty minutes composing and deleting a message to Jed.
After discarding ‘Thanks for last night!’ (too perky) and ‘I had a good time last night’ (not perky enough) in the end I simply wrote: ‘What are you up to today?’
I went for a shower and when I got back, Liv was awake. I showed her the message and she nodded approvingly.
‘Perfect,’ she said. ‘I reckon he’ll reply any second.’
But he didn’t. He didn’t reply all morning. I moped around the pub looking sorry for myself until Liv took my phone off me and sent me outside to clean the tables in the garden.
‘Do your thing,’ she said. ‘Anchor yourself.’
‘I don’t want to anchor myself in this moment,’ I grumbled. ‘I should have done that last night.’
She laughed, then frowned as her own phone beeped and she glanced at the screen.
‘What’s that?’
‘What?’ Liv’s focus was on her phone.
‘What’s the message?’
She looked up at me, seeming mildly surprised as though she’d forgotten I was there.
‘Oh just spam,’ she said. ‘Nothing important.’
‘I’ll clean those tables then.’
‘Yes please.’
‘Can I take my phone?’
‘No.’ She shoved it in her pocket and then looked at her own phone again, in her other hand, and did the same with that. ‘Go,’ she said. ‘Go on.’
I cleaned all the tables and chairs. I dragged a patio heater out of the shed because, let’s face it, it wasn’t always warm. I stood for a little while gazing out over the sea, watching the waves, which today had little white tips, and thinking about Jed. And finally, when all that was done, I went back inside and begged Liv for my phone.
‘Has he replied?’ I said as she handed it over. But no. He hadn’t.
‘See if he’s read it,’ Liv said. ‘He might be sleeping if he was working last night. Perhaps he’s not seen your message yet.’
A tiny bit of hope flickered and then died as I saw that the message had been delivered and read just after I sent it.
Liv made a face. ‘Maybe you should watch some Homes Under the Hammer,’ she said gently. ‘Might take your mind off things.’
But even that wasn’t appealing. I shook my head.
‘Go out for a walk then. Blow away the cobwebs.’
‘Actually maybe I’ll go running,’ I said. ‘I’ve not done any exercise since we’ve been here and I need to keep my fitness up or I’ll be in a whole world of pain when I go back to work.’
Liv looked relieved. ‘That’s a great idea.’
‘Want to come?’
She thought about it for approximately ten seconds. ‘Nope,’ she said. ‘Busy.’
‘Doing what?’
She shrugged. ‘Bit of this, bit of that.’
‘Fair enough. I’ll see you later then.’
‘Later,’ she said.