My head pounded as I sat on the couch in our apartment waiting for Paul to get home. From the second I saw the hot pink line appear in the positive window of the first test, I’d been in a constant state of shock. I didn’t freak out. I didn’t cry anymore. I’d just methodically packed a bag knowing that once I told Paul he would want me to leave.
I called in sick to work and then called the bus station. There was a bus leaving tonight at 9:15 that made a stop in Santa Fe. From there I could call Marcus. No one on the estate would be thrilled to accept me back into the pack, but once they found out that I was carrying their alpha’s baby, they would do it. They’d have to. And Marcus, even though he hated me, would marry me.
I had been sitting in the same spot for more than four hours by the time I heard Paul walking up the stairs to our apartment. I held my breath as I listened to him slip his key into the lock, and my heart nearly stopped as the knob turned and the door opened. Seeing his face, knowing that I would never be able to hold him again after today, sent me falling headfirst into reality, and the built-up tears flooded my eyes.
Paul dropped his keys and ran over. He knelt down before me and took both my hands in his. “Lillian, what is it? What’s wrong?”
When I didn’t answer, he began to search the room with his eyes. I knew the exact moment when he saw my packed bag. “Damn it, Lillian, tell me what happened!”
“Sit down, Paul,” I said, managing to pull myself together a bit.
“Not until you tell me why you have a bag packed. Are you leaving me, Lillian?”
I reached for his hand, and he let me take it. I could tell that he didn’t want to give in, but he sat anyway.
“I have to go back to the estate,” I told him.
“Why? Did someone find us? Did they threaten you?” Paul asked in a panic.
“It’s not like that. No one has found us.”
“I don’t understand, Lillian. Why would you want to go back there?” Tears darkened his beautiful blue eyes.
“Because I’m pregnant,” I whispered.
“You’re what?”
I took a shaky, deep breath and repeated, “I’m pregnant.”
Paul’s initial reaction shattered my heart into a million pieces. His smile was real, raw emotion; he was ecstatic. Then, it was like I could see him doing the same math in his head that I had done earlier, and his gorgeous smile started to fade. He stood up and began to walk out of the room. He was about to disappear into the kitchen when he turned to me and said, “I need a minute. Do not leave, okay?”
I nodded. What else could I do? I had just ruined his life. I bet he wished he could go back in time to that music festival and do things differently. If I left now, he would recover. He may be sad and hurt, but he would move on. He would find someone else, and one day he would have his own family. He would have everything he deserved.
All at once my stomach clenched, and I ran into our tiny bathroom. I wasn’t sure if my first case of morning sickness had struck or if it was purely from stress, but I was vomiting in the middle of the most important conversation of my life. Whatever it was, it was definitely karma.
After I brushed my teeth and washed my face, I stood in front of the mirror staring at a girl I hardly recognized anymore. I wasn’t sure what to say to her.
I walked back into the living room, and Paul was leaning against the wall near the kitchen. He had a beer in one hand and a glass of water in the other. We both walked toward the couch, and he handed me the water.
I thanked him without meeting his eyes. I thought he was going to sit beside me, but he didn’t. Instead, he picked up my bag and carried it into the bedroom. I sat there confused.
Paul came back in and knelt in front of me. “Do you really love me, Lillian?” he asked.
“You know I do, but—”
“No buts. Just answer my question. Do you love me?”
“Yes.”
“Are you happy here?”
“Of course.”
“Then stay,” he said.
“But what about Marcus? The baby?” I asked.
“Call him. Tell him that you’re pregnant. After the baby’s born, you can work out some kind of custody agreement. People do that all the time,” he said rationally.
That solution might have been perfectly rational for a human, but not for a werewolf. I tried to explain to Paul that things in a pack worked differently.
“If I call and tell Marcus that I’m pregnant with his child, he would be here tonight. He would force me back on the estate,” I explained.
Paul furrowed his brow. With conviction in his voice he responded, “He can’t do that. I wouldn’t let him.”
I so loved this man, but he didn’t understand. I was carrying Marcus’s heir. There would be no way in hell he would share custody, much less allow another man, a human, to raise that child. If Marcus—or any pack member for that matter—knew this baby was his, I would be married to Marcus and living in that house on the estate in the blink of an eye.
“I don’t think I have many options, Paul. And I’m not being dramatic when I say that Marcus would have you killed and drag me back if he found out. There will be no ‘talking it out,’” I said.
Paul moved to sit next to me on the couch. “I don’t want you to leave,” he said, staring at the wall in front of him. “Ever.”
“I don’t want to leave,” I admitted.
“I’m in love with you, Lillian.”
“I’ve never doubted that. And I love you more than I thought was even possible,” I said.
“You have to do what you think is right, but if you stay, I will love you and your child for the rest of my life,” he said as he turned to look at me.
“You would do that? You would love this baby?” I asked, overcome.
“As my own,” he swore.
As soon as the words left his lips, I crawled onto his lap and showered kisses all over his face.
“Does this mean you’re going to stay?” he asked.
“Forever,” I whispered, loving his smile. And I knew that I would. I would be with him forever, and there was no place I’d rather be.
“Lillian,” Paul said between those passionate kisses that I loved so much. “Marry me.”