For the first few weeks when Molly visited the Maddox house to work with Judah and Rufus, she’d traveled through quite an emotional roller coaster. It had been so hard seeing Logan every day and having to interact with him that sometimes she wanted to give up on the whole endeavor.
At first, the grief and anger wouldn’t quite go away no matter how hard she tried. She hated that about herself, that she couldn’t just drop it and walk away from her pain. Shouldn’t she just be able to put it aside and ignore her feelings for the sake of Judah?
And for her own sake, if not Logan’s, she really needed to dig deep into forgiving him. She knew the only one she was dragging by carrying around the chains of anger was herself.
But the further she got along in the process, the more she started to realize it was a process, something she had to work through, a trail she had to travel one step at a time.
Sometimes they were baby steps.
She couldn’t expect herself to completely enjoy being around the man who’d broken her heart—not right away, anyway. Endure was more the word that came to mind. Every time he smiled, it did something to her insides.
Not that he smiled much. She didn’t know whether or not to be thankful for that. She could see he likewise carried a heavy burden, and even though he was responsible for where he’d found himself in life, she did feel for him. Not sorry, exactly, because anyone could see Judah was a huge blessing to him. But clearly, he put a lot of pressure on himself.
And it was that mark of maturity that finally started cracking the walls she’d so carefully built around her. Seeing his love for his son was far and beyond his most attractive quality. He hadn’t given up when many men would have. If anything, he’d really stepped up to the plate to be a good dad to Judah.
Today, she planned to teach Rufus how to specifically respond to Judah’s anxiety. Rufus was definitely coming along. It was clear he now knew who his person was, so it was just a matter of showing him what he needed to do and then Rufus could graduate to becoming a full-time service dog for the boy.
She no longer knocked on the front door when she arrived at the Maddoxes’ house each morning. Instead, she walked Rufus around to the back of the wraparound porch, where she would often find Logan reading his Bible and Judah playing with one of his toys on the grass.
It still threw her a little bit to see Logan with a Bible. They’d first met at church youth group in high school, but at that time he hadn’t appeared all that interested in his relationship with God. Youth group was just another activity to him, something social to pass the time.
She hadn’t really seen his relationship with Jesus then—or she’d chosen to ignore it if he did have one. At least he went to church.
But now it meant a lot. He didn’t just go to church every week. He participated. He appeared genuinely interested in the worship.
Logan smiled and stood as soon as he saw her come around the corner.
“Miss Molly and Rufus are here,” he told Judah. “It’s time to do our training practice now.”
She dropped Rufus’s lead and he went straight over to sit by Judah, who was coloring a picture with a gigantic box of crayons.
That wasn’t something Molly would have done. Personally, she would have erred on the side of fewer crayons, so Judah didn’t get frustrated trying to choose what color to use. How many colors of blue did a kid need, anyway?
She mentioned her concern to Logan, who just laughed and brushed her apprehension aside.
“Typically, I would agree with you there,” he told her. “Judah is usually frustrated by too many choices. He is, however, an artist at heart. Judah, show her the picture you’re drawing.”
Judah held up a multicolored picture of a robot with straight-edge lines that looked as if they’d been drawn with a ruler. It was surprisingly detailed and accurate.
Or maybe not so surprising. Not for Judah.
“When we were shopping for school supplies, I’d just picked up a package of eight crayons. When I turned around, Judah had already put this ginormous bin of crayons into our shopping cart and then he gave me those big, pleading eyes I can never resist. How could I say no?”
“I know what you mean. I call them soulful eyes. If he ever really learns how to use them, we’re all in trouble.”
Logan laughed.
Molly watched Judah for a moment. “He definitely makes good use of the variety of colors. If he acts like he may be ready to try something new, it’s always good to let him push himself.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Logan agreed. “So, what have you and Rufus got for us today?”
She called Rufus to her side. “Today I’m going to use you as Rufus’s practice dummy.”
“Ouch.” He grabbed at his heart as if she’d stabbed it and chuckled.
Molly rolled her eyes. “I meant like the mannequin kind.”
“I know you did. I’m just poking fun at you.”
“Although, if the shoe fits...”
“Daddy has b-big feet,” Judah said, having caught the tail end of their conversation.
Molly laughed.
“Hey, Judah, why don’t you put your crayons away for right now so we can work with Miss Molly and Rufus,” Logan suggested.
While Judah was doing as his father had asked, Molly explained the purpose behind what they’d be accomplishing today.
Feeling slightly hesitant, she put her palm over Logan’s heart. She could feel his heartbeat instantly quicken under her touch and had to consciously remember to breathe evenly so as not to give away her own spike in adrenaline. Sometimes it was really difficult for her to be this close to Logan. She could feel him even when she wasn’t touching him, and that was nothing to say of his aftershave.
“I can feel the anxiety here,” she said, patting his chest.
She could also feel how muscular his chest was under her fingers. Yep, he definitely worked out with weights—but she didn’t say that part out loud.
“If you can feel it inside you, Rufus can sense your anxiety as well, even before he touches you.”
Logan stiffened. “This isn’t supposed to be about me.”
“That’s where the dummy part comes in,” she teased. “I want to show Judah what’s supposed to happen with Rufus before we try it out on him, so he’s comfortable seeing how it’s done first. Then afterward we’ll let him have a go at it.”
“Oh.” He shook his head. “Except Rufus won’t be able to feel any stress on me, at least not the kind Judah experiences.”
She thought it was rather ridiculous of him to act as if he had no stress in his life. Everyone was anxious about something, and she knew he carried a heavy burden as a single father.
She could feel the stress on him, and she wasn’t nearly as good as Rufus.
“I’m not asking for specifics,” she assured him. “Rufus isn’t a therapist, although come to think of it, he’d be a good one. However, this is a silent lesson.”
“Hmm,” Logan murmured, not looking thoroughly convinced.
Judah returned to them and Molly started explaining what they were going to do.
“First, we need Rufus to sit right there between your knees,” she said, giving the dog the appropriate commands to get him seated directly in front of Logan. “He needs access to your chest, so keep your arms down and loose.”
Logan did as she said.
“Now, think about something stressful.”
He glanced down at her hand, which was still resting over his heart, and then back up at her, locking their gazes.
Okay, then. That wasn’t what she’d expected, but she’d run with it. There was some definite anxiety there.
She nudged Rufus forward until he was literally leaning against Logan’s chest, applying slight pressure with his head and upper body.
“Am I supposed to be petting him?” Logan asked, sitting stock-still.
“You can if you want, but for right now, let’s just let him get used to this feeling.”
The longer they waited, the more stressed out Logan appeared to be. His jaw tightened, as did his fists.
After a minute or so, she called Rufus off.
“That was really good,” she said, tossing the dog a bit of bacon. She wondered if she ought to toss Logan a bit of bacon as well, and the thought made her smile. “We got the response out of Rufus we were looking for. Once he leaned in and put a little pressure on your chest, he stayed there until we told him to back off. That’s what we want him to do.”
“Like a doggy hug?” Logan didn’t sound as if he got the point.
“Not exactly. It’s called deep pressure therapy. When Rufus puts direct pressure on Judah’s chest, it may help with a number of things. Rufus will keep him from hurting himself and may sometimes help his mind snap out of his anxiety. And yes, it’s also a doggy hug, which creates all kinds of happy hormones and staves off panic attacks.”
“That’s pretty cool,” Logan said. He was clearly trying to sound enthusiastic for his son’s sake. “Judah, do you want to try to have Rufus hug you?”
Since Judah had been working with Rufus for a few weeks now, he wasn’t hesitant about starting this new exercise.
Molly settled Rufus between Judah’s legs and gave the dog the command to apply pressure. At first, Judah looked a little uncomfortable, and Logan appeared even worse. She understood that he was worried about Judah being extra sensitive to touch, but this wasn’t ordinary touch. This was his service dog, and Logan’s nervous reaction wasn’t helping matters any.
She held up a finger to keep him from saying something that would make the whole training episode go instantly backward.
She’d been working with Rufus for a while on this movement, because this was going to be a huge tool in his box. Right now, she was giving the dog a sign command to lean into whomever was closest to him, but he was also learning more every day that Judah was his special person. Before long, Rufus would accompany Judah everywhere and guide him in everything. He would instinctively know when and how to use the movements necessary to help Judah with his day-to-day.
But this was a big moment, to see how Judah would react the first time to what was, as Logan had so succinctly put it, essentially a doggy hug.
Judah went still for a moment and then threw his arms around Rufus and made a happy noise.
Logan’s eyes went wide with surprise and Molly was thrilled. Not only had Judah accepted that the dog was trying to help him, but Rufus hadn’t totally flipped out at Judah’s sudden movement and odd sounds.
Win-win.
They’d come such a long way in a relatively short amount of time.
And Molly couldn’t help that tiny bit of pride that welled in her heart and curled her lips into a grin.
Logan met her gaze, shook his head and grunted in disbelief. “I knew you were an expert in training dogs—just as you’re an expert in teaching kids—but we’ve really made a ton of progress in the last few weeks. I’m completely floored by what I’ve seen today.”
Molly was equally struck by the amount of achievement they’d made together, but it wasn’t only Judah and Rufus making distinct forward progress. She suddenly realized she no longer felt awkward around Logan—most of the time—and the grief and anger she’d felt near the beginning was long tucked away and nearly forgotten.
They were actually getting along. She would even go so far as to say they had renewed their friendship, which was a shock in itself. And the craziest thing was it had all happened when she wasn’t paying attention. They’d grown closer organically, just as Judah and Rufus had.
If she’d been thinking about it, she would have balked and pulled back. She knew herself well enough to know that. But because she’d been so busy working on the training lessons, she hadn’t recognized she was also interacting much easier with Logan.
Which got her to wondering—did he also see the progress they’d made in their relationship?
And if so, how did he feel about it?
Logan double-checked the materials in the back of his truck against the list on his clipboard and smiled in satisfaction.
This was either going to be the best day he’d had since he’d returned to Whispering Pines or it was going to be a complete disaster. Over the past six weeks of training Rufus with Judah, he’d gotten much more comfortable with Molly, and, he thought, she with him.
God had given Logan an opportunity far beyond what he could ever have imagined where spending time with Molly was concerned. He definitely couldn’t have orchestrated anything remotely as good on his own.
And he’d thought sneaking in to clean out the dog run every evening had been clever.
It was a good start. He was still doing that particularly unpleasant task as promised. Molly had gotten her cast off the day before, but he thought he’d give her a few extra days to completely heal before she took back her chore. He didn’t find the same relaxation in it as Molly evidently did, but he’d made a commitment to this and he was standing by it.
In the meantime, the four of them—Molly, Logan, Judah and Rufus—were meeting every weekday morning to further the relationship between Judah and Rufus. And things were going wonderfully in that regard. It was as if Rufus had been made for Judah’s specific issues. He sensed Judah’s moods and knew just what to do to calm him down.
What he didn’t know, Molly taught him. She was every bit as patient with the puppy as he imagined she was with the children she taught in class. The only person who ever appeared to flip her switch was Logan.
Logan hoped he was furthering his relationship with Molly in a good way, but every time he thought they might be starting to make progress, she would pull back.
She was friendly enough, but she treated him as if he was just any other client, not someone to whom she’d once been almost ready to commit her life.
He had to admit he was getting frustrated with her. Yes, what he’d done to her had been horrible, but he’d asked for and received God’s forgiveness a long time ago. He’d asked Molly for her forgiveness as well, but with a woman it was much more complicated.
Their history was always going to be standing between them, staring him in the face. Even if by some measure of grace, she’d forgiven him—and he wasn’t completely sold on that idea as of yet—she would never be able to forget what he’d done. She’d be reminded of it every time she looked at Judah for the rest of her life.
Surely she could see he wasn’t the same man he had been back then. He hadn’t even been a man, but a stupid boy who’d acted out irrationally in his anger and then found himself in an impossible situation.
And he’d had many hard years since then to learn his lesson.
But no matter what, he wasn’t giving up on convincing Molly he could be trusted. She could be stubborn and might keep pushing him away, but he would come right back again as many times as it took until she finally realized he was a changed man.
Take her stubborn refusal to be paid for her work with Judah and Rufus, no matter how many hours she put into helping him. He’d worked his way around that issue by taking on some extra freelance bookkeeping and anonymously donating the money he made to the Winslows’ dog rescue as she’d suggested.
L-O-V-E, he remembered her saying—and not exactly in a sweet tone of voice, either.
But despite everything, he wanted to find ways to give back to her.
Now he’d come up with yet another way to help her that didn’t include cleaning the dog run or handing her a check.
It was way better, as far as he was concerned, but he had no doubt he was about to tick her off again. That appeared to be his current MO ever since returning to Whispering Pines.
But this time he had the whole Winslow clan behind him. Molly’s birthday was today, and Logan had organized a special surprise for her.
They were all pitching in together to build the petting zoo at Winslow’s Woodlands. He even had two donkeys loaded up in the trailer he was pulling behind his truck. He was going for cute and sweet—something Molly’s tender heart couldn’t refuse—and donkeys seemed to him like they’d fit the bill.
Judah was equally excited about the donkeys, as they were specifically his presents to Miss Molly. He’d been the one to pick the two long-eared animals out of a herd at a local ranch.
Tonight, there would be a huge celebration, Winslow-style. Even Logan’s parents had been invited to join them.
The way Logan saw it, he had everything going in his favor. How could Molly be angry on her birthday?
Sharpe, Frost and Ruby were all waiting for him when he arrived at Winslow’s Woodlands. They’d decided to build the enclosure a short distance behind the barn so they could move the animals back and forth every day as easily as possible.
It wasn’t intended to be anything fancy—just an outside fence with an inside garden pathway and a couple of pens in the corners so they could rotate the animals in and out as needed.
Logan had purchased all the necessary wood, nails, fencing, paving brick and stone. Felicity had taken care of the flowers, which for the summer were large pots of bright, multicolored annuals and perennials. Felicity told him she’d add some mums come autumn, but the big draw would be aspens turning. Customers loved to visit in the fall just to see the golden-hued magnificence of the aspen leaves rippling in the autumn breeze.
Ruby had Rufus on a lead, and Judah couldn’t scramble out of the truck quickly enough to go play with his best friend.
Logan greeted Sharpe and Frost with friendly shoulder bumps and tipped his hat to Ruby.
“Thanks, everyone, for helping me do this. I guess we’d better start unloading,” Logan said, gesturing to the back of the truck.
“I’ll unload the donkeys,” Sharpe said.
“I’ll keep an eye on Judah and Rufus,” Ruby assured him.
“Is Molly still in the dark about all this?” he asked her.
“Completely.” Ruby beamed. “I could seriously be a spy for the CIA. You would have been impressed by my duplicity in finding out what she wanted and sneaking the plans right from under her nose. I had them copied and returned to her desk drawer before she even noticed what I’d done.”
Logan laughed. He liked everyone in Molly’s family, but Ruby was especially upbeat and charismatic.
“It didn’t take much prompting to get Molly talking about her pet project, and as it happens, she’d even drawn fairly descriptive plans and blueprints covering what she wanted to achieve.”
Ruby moved to an area near the workspace where she’d brought out a cooler full of water and some snacks, as well as the drawings she’d “borrowed” from Molly’s desk drawer.
“How did you get a cooler past Molly without her suspecting anything?” Right now, that was Logan’s greatest concern. He wanted to present her with a finished project, not the jumbled mess of materials he now had.
Sharpe chuckled. “Molly slept in today. It’s a Winslow family tradition. You get to sleep in on your birthday, and then your siblings treat you to breakfast in bed with your favorite foods.”
“Hashtag Want to be a Winslow,” Logan joked, then realized at one time the opposite would have been true. Molly would have taken on the Maddox name.
But that was neither here nor there. Not now.
“But won’t she miss the three of you if you’re not there to wait on her along with the rest of your siblings?” he questioned.
“Naw,” said Frost, tipping back his hat to expose his glittering silver-blue eyes. “She expects Sharpe and me to be working the tree farm and will assume Ruby is out here dealing with landscaping customers.”
“Avery, Felicity and Granddad will keep her plenty busy at the house today, so no worries there,” Sharpe said. “They know they’re not to let her step out of the house, not even to get a breath of fresh air.”
“Perfect,” Logan said. “Again, I can’t thank you all enough for your help.”
“Anything for Molly,” Ruby said, her eyes glowing with delight.
Why did Logan feel as if there was more to Ruby’s words than the surface meaning? It made the back of his neck itch.
Logan was amazed and grateful that this incredible family had once again welcomed him into their lives.
Ruby laid a hand on his arm. “You know,” she said softly, for his ears only, “we’re all behind you in this.”
This could very well have referred to the petting zoo enclosure, but Logan didn’t think so, or at least that’s not all that it was. Ruby’s next words confirmed his suspicions.
“Molly is a confident, independent woman who is living a good, happy life. She would never admit it, but there’s always been one thing missing. Maybe now...” She let her sentence trail off.
Yes.
Maybe now.
That’s the part of Logan’s heart he had been trying to ignore every day since the moment he had returned to Whispering Pines.
He swallowed hard and tipped his cowboy hat to Ruby a second time.
“I’ll keep a close eye on Judah for you. You’d better get busy if you want to have Molly’s birthday present anywhere near completion today. Wave me over if you have any questions or when you’re ready to set up the flower planters.”
He turned to the men to suggest they get started, but Sharpe and Frost had already unloaded the fencing material, and had it laid out and ready to go.
“Thanks again, guys,” he said.
“You’ve got it, bro,” Sharpe said, thumping Logan on the back.
And there it was again. That was it, exactly.
Bro.
It kept coming back to slap him in the face. Everything he’d given up when he’d left town. And all he still would never have.