Molly picked up her cell phone and called Sharpe. “How is the search going?”
“Nothing so far.”
“Logan and I have an idea. We’re going back to the farm. Can you take point with the rest of the gang and keep them updated? I’ll call you when we know more.”
“When we know more?” Logan asked the moment she hung up. She could hear the optimism in his voice.
“If. I should have said if. I don’t want to get your hopes up if it turns out I’m wrong.”
“But you think he’s at your farm.” It wasn’t a question.
“We’ll see. I’m driving.”
Logan nodded his consent, which was really saying something. Logan was one of those men who, if he was in the car, was driving. It had always been a thing with him, something that usually amused Molly.
But right now, she doubted he could drive safely. He was trying not to show her how much this whole thing was affecting him, but she could see how anxious he was in the way he pumped his fists and clenched his jaw.
Not to mention the way he’d stalked back and forth while he was waiting for news to come in.
If she was right about this, it wouldn’t be long now before everyone felt better—Logan, Helen and Judah, as well as her.
When she got to the farm, which was only a ten-minute walk from the Maddoxes’ house, she drove around back and straight up to the barn door.
“What are we doing here?” Logan asked.
“Wait and see.”
She got out of the truck cab and stepped into the shadow of the barn, softly calling, “Judah?”
There was no answer, but her ears picked up the faint sound of sobbing.
“Rufus?” she called instead, sensing Judah wouldn’t answer her even if she kept on saying his name.
Relief flooded through her when the dog barked, letting her know he was there taking care of his little master.
“Is he here?” Logan whispered in her ear, coming up behind her and wrapping his arm around her waist.
“Yes. But be gentle with him. I think he’s scared.”
She felt Logan stiffen and rubbed his forearm in response. “That wasn’t a criticism, Logan. Just an observation. We all need to take a breath here. I think I can hear him crying.”
“Thank you, Jesus,” said Logan.
It might have sounded like an odd thing to say, given that Molly had just let him know she’d heard Judah crying, but she totally got it.
If he was crying, he was here.
Logan ran into the barn calling Judah’s name. “Judah, buddy, are you in here?”
Judah sniffled. “Daddy?”
“Thank you, Jesus,” Molly echoed. Yes, like Logan, she was thanking God for helping them find a crying boy. But find was the key word here. The rest could be worked out now that they knew where he was.
Before Molly could go any farther, Logan was striding out with Judah in his arms and Rufus at his side.
“Rufus was right there with him,” Logan said. “Really taking care of him when he needed him. You trained him so well. I can’t thank you enough.”
She was glad for that. She’d learned over the years just how much dogs could be trusted in times of need. It was one of the reasons she hadn’t completely fallen apart when she’d first heard that Judah had run away.
“Was he sitting right outside the donkeys’ stall?” she asked.
Logan’s gaze widened in amazement. “How did you know that? You couldn’t see him from where you were at.”
“Women’s intuition. Actually, it was just like I said. I started trying to think how Judah would think, where he would go to soothe his anxiety. Taco and Beans came to mind, and I just felt a gentle nudge to come and check. It was definitely the Lord’s doing.”
“We should call the others and let them know the good news, especially my mother.”
“I’ll do that. You spend a few minutes with Judah. Maybe hang out with the donkeys,” she suggested.
Molly stepped out of the barn and called Sharpe. “We found him.”
“Oh, thank God,” Sharpe breathed.
“Indeed. It was all God. I can’t even tell you how relieved I was when I heard him crying. I mean, not that he was crying, but that he was there.”
“There...where?” Sharpe asked curiously.
“In our barn by the donkeys’ stall. It occurred to me he might go seeking out Taco and Beans in a crisis.”
“So, what’s the crisis?” Sharpe asked.
“That, I don’t know. We’ll probably take Judah back home and see if we can find out where his head is at. In the meantime, I would appreciate it if you would call off the forces and let them know Judah is safe and well.”
“Absolutely. Thanks for the good news. I hope the little guy is okay.”
“You and me both.”
She hung up, made a quick call to Helen and then put her cell phone back in her pocket. She quietly approached Logan and Judah, not wanting to interrupt them if they were having a conversation about what had happened today.
However, they didn’t appear to be speaking. Logan was still holding Judah, who was clinging to Logan’s shoulder like a life raft. Rufus stood at Logan’s side, staring up at Judah and making sure all was well with him.
“Should we go home, big guy?”
Judah sniffled and buried his head in the fabric of Logan’s shirt.
“Do you not want to go home?” he asked softly, his brow furrowing in confusion. “What’s up, Judah? You know you can talk to me.”
“We can stay here, but my brothers and sisters will all be back soon,” Molly said softly.
She wished she would have thought this out better, giving Judah more time to recover before he had to be around other people again. Maybe she should have told her siblings to hang back for a few before they returned to the farm.
“I still think we should go home,” Logan decided. “You gave all of us quite a scare, little man, and I know your grandma wants to give you a big hug.”
“’Kay,” he said with another sniffle.
This time, Logan drove. Molly lost count of the times he glanced into the rearview mirror, as if reassuring himself that Judah was still there.
It had been quite a scare, and now that Judah was safe and sound, Molly was beginning to wonder what had caused the whole incident in the first place.
“Oh, Judah,” Helen exclaimed when he hopped out of the back seat of the extended truck, Rufus at his heels. “Baby. I’m so glad you’re safe.”
Despite Judah’s protests, she wrapped him in her arms and kissed the top of his head several times until he was wriggling to get out of her grasp.
“You owe your grandma an apology for scaring her like that,” Logan said sternly but with love in his eyes.
Judah dropped his head. “S-sorry, Grandma.”
“I’m just so glad you’re safe. I love you so much.”
“L-love you, too.”
Molly followed as Logan brought Judah into the house and sat him down on the couch in the family room. Logan sat on one side of Judah, while Molly took the other side.
Now they were finally going to discover what was really going on in the little boy’s head.
Logan took a deep breath and slowly released it before speaking. Molly was proud of him for the strength and calmness he was showing when she knew his pulse and blood pressure had to be through the roof.
Not that he was angry with Judah, but he’d been scared out of his mind, and he was showing great maturity here in the way he was handling the conversation now.
“We didn’t know where you were,” Logan said, his voice quiet and even. “Do you see how that might have made us worry about you?”
“Yeah.” Judah wouldn’t look at Logan but just stared at the floor. “S-sorry.”
“I know you are, son. And you’re not in trouble. We just want to understand why you went to visit Taco and Beans today without telling anyone where you were going.”
“You know,” Molly added, “if you wanted to see the donkeys, all you had to do was ask and I would have taken you over there. Anytime, bud.”
He shook his head.
That’s what she suspected. This wasn’t about the donkeys. They were a means to an end, not the end itself.
“So why did you leave, then?” Logan asked. “Grandma said you asked her if you could go to the bathroom. And then the next thing she knew, she couldn’t find you anywhere.”
“I did go to the bathroom,” Judah insisted.
“Okay,” Molly said. “And then what happened?” Somewhere in here was a twist or turn they were missing, and it was up to Logan and Molly to discover what it was.
“I—I went out to t-tell you I b-beat the t-top level of my g-game,” he said as tears sprang once again to those beautiful, soulful blue eyes.
Molly noticed his stammer was worse, probably because of all his anxiety. Rufus moved in a little closer, taking a spot right in front of Judah. As he’d been trained to do, he leaned in, providing slight pressure on Judah’s chest. The boy was breathing much too rapidly, and Molly couldn’t imagine how fast his heart was beating.
“That’s great, bud,” Logan praised, brushing a strand of dark hair back from the boy’s forehead. “But we never saw you come out.”
“I was g-going to,” Judah insisted. “B-but then I heard my n-name.”
Logan didn’t know what he’d expected Judah to say, but this was not it. Whatever had upset him had been bad enough to send him walking for ten minutes to get to the Winslows’ farm, but now to find out it was because he’d overheard them talking?
It was all Logan could do not to get up and leave the room. He couldn’t believe what he’d inadvertently done to his son. No wonder the boy was confused, if he’d heard any of the supposedly private conversation.
Logan would have thought he would have learned his lesson the night Judah had caught him with Molly in his arms.
But no. He’d done it yet again. Had a conversation near enough that a wandering boy could accidentally overhear.
They should have gone anywhere else.
To the church. To the park.
But not to the back porch of his own house.
He would never forgive himself.
He met Molly’s gaze and saw similar thoughts shifting through her expression. Her emerald eyes were awash with tears. She, also, blamed herself, although it was in no way her fault. Everything from the very first moment to this was on him.
“Judah, honey, what did you hear?” Molly asked softly. Logan could hear the hesitancy in her voice. Whatever Judah said now, it was going to hurt.
“I’m s-sorry, Daddy,” Judah said.
“You already apologized, son, and I forgive you,” Logan said gently. “Like I said, you’re not in trouble. We just want to know why you felt like you needed to visit the donkeys.”
“No,” Judah said, shaking his head fervently. “I’m sorry.” He didn’t stutter, and he emphasized the word.
Logan was confused, but he was slowly getting the picture. Judah wasn’t apologizing for running away.
He was apologizing for—what?
“You’re sorry because...” Molly had evidently had the same thought as Logan and was trying a fill-in-the-blank type question.
“I m-messed up your l-life.”
“No way,” Logan said, putting his arm around Judah and pulling him tight under his arm. For once, Judah didn’t seem to mind the contact.
“You d-didn’t marry M-Miss Molly b-because of m-me.” Logan’s throat tightened.
“That is true,” Logan said. “I married your mommy.”
No more lies. No more half-truths. He would keep talking to Judah until the boy understood everything and no longer felt any guilt over what had happened.
“But now you’re sad.”
Logan sat back in surprise. “Why would you think that?”
Judah just stared at him without speaking.
“Are you sad?” Logan asked gently. “You’re happy living at Grandma and Grandpa’s with your daddy, aren’t you?”
“N-no.”
“No?” That wasn’t what Logan had expected Judah to say. “Why not?”
Logan fervently wished Molly would jump in here somewhere with her teacher’s wisdom, but she was being unusually silent.
Judah lifted his gaze to Logan’s. “Would you have m-married Miss Molly? If it wasn’t for me?”
Panic reared its ugly head. How was he supposed to answer that loaded question? Especially with Molly sitting right there listening to every word he said.
Logan glanced over at Molly, but she was looking the other way and dabbing at her cheeks with the palms of her hands.
“Honestly, son? I don’t know. I can’t change what happened in the past. All any of us can do is move forward with our lives right now and do the best we can to be the best people we can.”
That was way too heavy for a seven-year-old boy to understand, but Logan didn’t know how else to explain it.
Would he have married Molly if things had been different?
He didn’t know, but he would have wanted to. If he hadn’t been such an idiot in college, he and Molly would possibly—probably—have gotten back together, wouldn’t they have?
Weren’t they experiencing feelings for each other now?
One thing he did know for certain—he wouldn’t wish Judah away. Things had happened the way they had for a reason, and Judah was a huge blessing. Even Molly believed that.
But why wouldn’t Molly look at him?
He’d never felt so frustrated in his life. First his son had run off, and now he was trying to explain the past, present and future to Judah, who clearly wanted to bring Molly into this circle, this conversation.
Their lives.
Molly always knew what to say—knew what to do to make things better.
Hadn’t she been the one to figure out where Judah had run off to?
Why was she so silent now?
Finally, Molly turned back toward them. Tears were still clearly glistening in her eyes. Logan would have done anything to make them go away, but he suspected that was impossible now.
“I’m so glad you’re home safe,” she told Judah, patting Rufus on the head instead of touching Judah. “I’m going to go now so you can spend time with your daddy, and with Grandma and Grandpa. Daddy, you can bring Judah over to see the donkeys anytime he wants. You don’t have to ask or call ahead.”
“Thank you,” said Logan, not knowing how else to respond.
This was all clearly too much for Molly. She was walking away—and it felt for all the world like more than just a temporary “see you later.”
This felt like goodbye.