The anger was gone. Without it, sex with Walker was an entirely different experience. He took his time. He was more thoughtful, more attuned to what her body was telling him, more deliberate in the way he touched and kissed her. Marlow had to admit that their first two encounters had been thrilling in their own right, if only because they’d been so impulsive and unexpected—a cataclysmic release of years of pent-up frustration. But her needs had changed. With the sadness she was feeling about her father, she craved gentleness, especially from Walker. He’d known her almost her whole life. He’d known Tiller, too. He understood her loss in a way no other man could.
Fortunately, he seemed to understand what she was looking for, because he was giving her exactly what she wanted.
Although he hadn’t turned on the light when they stumbled into his bedroom, kissing and clinging to each other, there was enough moonlight slanting through the French doors overlooking the beach that she could see his expression whenever he lifted his head, and she was glad of that. She loved the intensity on his face, the evidence of how much he was enjoying himself. It gave her as much of a thrill as all the rest of it.
“You smell so good,” she said, and it was true. She’d never met a man who smelled better, and the scent of him was all around her—on his sheets and pillows and his warm, naked body.
“Be careful,” he warned. “I might start to think you like me.”
She couldn’t tell if he was serious. “And that would be terrible, why?”
He lifted his head from her breasts. “We wouldn’t want to ruin years of tradition.”
She closed her eyes as he moved lower—until he was between her legs. “Yeah, well, you’re acting as if you like me, too.”
“Don’t let this fool you,” he mumbled, but she couldn’t imagine him doing what he did next to a woman he didn’t like. He held her thighs apart as he settled his mouth on her, making her jump at that first thrilling contact.
“Walker—”
“Trust me,” he murmured.
She tried to relax, but she’d never had a man use his tongue and his fingers quite the way Walker did. She could hardly breathe. Clenching her hands in his hair, she groaned as the pleasure grew so intense she was desperate for release—a release he wouldn’t give her until he’d put on a condom and joined their bodies instead.
She could feel his gaze on her face as he pressed inside her. He’d changed positions because he wanted to watch her climax beneath him—she could tell—and she couldn’t have withheld that even if she tried. He had her so close already that she felt her body convulse almost as soon as he began to thrust, at which point he stopped and gave her a lazy smile before taking her right back to the same pinnacle.
A knock woke Walker again. Only this time Marlow was sleeping beside him, so he had no idea who it could be.
He squinted at his alarm clock. It was almost midnight. They’d barely drifted off. No wonder he felt like hell.
“Hey, bro! You want to have a drink? I’m available tonight.”
“Shit,” he muttered when he recognized the voice yelling from outside.
Marlow stirred beside him. “Is that—”
“Reese, yeah,” Walker said and jumped out of bed to put on some shorts.
She sat up and yanked the bedding with her as if she was afraid Reese was about to walk in on her. Walker began to worry about that, too, when he heard his brother yell his name again and realized he was coming down the hall. Walker hadn’t locked the door after admitting Marlow; he hadn’t even thought about it.
“Walker?” Reese called.
“Stay where you are,” Walker said. “I’m coming.”
Marlow darted into the bathroom, just in case, and that turned out to be a wise move, because Reese didn’t seem to hear him. When he entered the room, Walker understood why. His brother was so drunk he could barely stand up.
“What are you doing, man?” Walker asked.
“You wanted to have a drink with me last night, but I was...otherwise engaged.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “I thought we could do it tonight. You know...a little male bonding.”
Walker wasn’t sure how to react. His brother drank too much, but Reese had never shown up at his house completely shit-faced. Was something wrong? “In case you haven’t noticed, I was in bed.”
“It’s early.”
“Not for those of us who have to work in the morning.”
Putting a hand to the wall to steady himself, Reese scowled. “Come on. You’re the boss. The big cheese. The chief of po-lice,” he said, overemphasizing the first syllable. “You can go in later if you want.”
Conscious of Marlow cowering in the bathroom, probably terrified she was about to be discovered without her clothes, Walker wanted to get Reese out of the room as fast as possible. But he had to be careful, or he’d alert Reese to the fact that he was trying to hide something.
Casually moving toward his brother, he guided him back down the hall. “Come on. I’ll put on a pot of coffee. How did you get here, by the way?”
“My buddy dropped me off.”
“Great. Then I won’t have to arrest you for driving under the influence.”
Reese shot him a sulky look. “You would, too.”
“I would. I don’t want to see you hurt yourself, and I don’t want to see you hurt anyone else, either.” He was relieved Reese hadn’t driven. But if he’d been dropped off, he didn’t have a vehicle and was probably expecting to stay the night. Walker couldn’t say he was too happy about that.
Reese opened the refrigerator. “You got any beer?”
Walker knocked his hand away and closed it. “You’ve had enough.”
“I don’t want coffee. I’m not interested in sobering up. Getting this numb took some effort, and I plan to stay this way as long as possible.”
Instead of finishing the coffee, Walker gestured at the stool across the island from him. “Why don’t you sit down and tell me what’s going on?”
“Nothing that hasn’t been going on all our lives.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I heard from Dad today. Can you believe that? It’s been what...over a year?”
Walker stiffened. “What’d he want?”
“Told me he loves me.” Reese started to laugh, but there was no humor in his eyes, and Walker could identify with his disillusionment.
“He screwed up his life, and he screwed up ours, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love us,” Walker said.
“Love isn’t words, man. Love is...love is doing the hard stuff.”
“Maybe he regrets screwing up so badly.”
“A bit late for that, since I’m already fucked-up.”
Walker didn’t know what to say. It was a terrible time to have this conversation, but he completely understood what his brother was feeling and his need to get the pain off his chest. Walker had spent his life asking himself why their father didn’t care more about them. He’d watched Tiller dote on Marlow, would’ve given anything for even half that much love. “We can’t control what other people do,” he said. “But we can control how we react to it.”
“And how am I supposed to react? By pretending it doesn’t bother me, like you do? By pretending I don’t need anyone?”
“That’s not what I’ve done.” He’d had to suck it up. His mother needed him to.
“I wish I could be more like you,” Reese said. “Then Mom would respect me, too. Instead, she looks at me and sees Dad.”
Walker raised his hand. “Stop. That’s not true.”
“It is. When I look in the mirror, I see him, too.” He grimaced as though he hated the sight. “That’s the worst part.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way. You can be anything you want.”
Ignoring Walker’s last statement, Reese said, “Dad wanted me to put in a good word with Mom. He’s hoping to get back with her.”
Walker felt his jaw drop. “No...”
“Yes.”
“What’d you tell him?”
“I told him to fuck off and hung up. He didn’t call because he cares about me. It was all about Mom.”
“She’d never go back to him. Not after what he put her through.”
Reese raised his eyebrows.
“What?” Walker said.
“Sounded to me like he thinks he has a real shot. She must’ve said or done something to make him believe that. I know they’ve been in contact.”
Walker’s mind flashed back to the call he’d received from his mother, telling him she was stranded with a flat tire. “Where’s Dad living now?”
“Miami. He only went to Texas for a short time, when he hooked up with that harpy who was as much of an alcoholic as he is.”
“He’s done with her? Already? That barely lasted two years.”
“I’m surprised they lasted that long. Said he has a steady job and that I should come over and see him.”
In Miami. Rudy was that close. Walker hid a wince. Now he knew why his mother wouldn’t tell him who she’d been with last night. It wasn’t some stranger. But Walker wasn’t going to tell Reese, not when he was like this. “Look, it’s late, and we’re not going to solve anything tonight. Let me throw some sheets on the bed in the extra bedroom so you can get some sleep.”
“No, I’d rather stay here.”
“Why?”
Reese didn’t answer the question. Maybe he didn’t want to be segregated off in the other room alone. Regardless, he was still too caught up in his anger to think of anything else. “I swear, if that fucker comes anywhere near me, I’ll break his jaw.”
Walker decided to make him a bed on the couch. It’d be easier than trying to coax him into moving. But when he grabbed the extra blankets and pillow from the closet, he saw Marlow’s wet clothes on the floor in the hall. Fortunately, Reese had been too preoccupied to notice and had stepped right over them, but just in case he came back this way, Walker shoved them to one side until he could do more.
“Did I ever tell you about the time Dad cut his hand by putting it through the window?” Reese said. “He was swinging at his own reflection. I was six, bro. I thought the world was coming to an end.”
Walker understood what that was like. He’d seen his father fly into a rage plenty of times. Fortunately, he’d never struck anyone on purpose, but he’d broken lamps and plenty of other things. “I must’ve been at college. I don’t remember it. But he was supposed to be gone by then, too.”
“Oh, he didn’t live with us anymore, but he kept coming back.”
Walker hurried over to arrange the bedding on the couch. He didn’t want to talk about this stuff tonight. He was too afraid Marlow would hear the conversation, and he didn’t want her to learn what his childhood had been like. She had to know it wasn’t as good as hers, but he was pretty sure she had no idea about the details. Rosemary had always done what she could to downplay Rudy’s behavior. She found it embarrassing, and she didn’t want the Madsens to decide she was more trouble than she was worth. Of course, there were times when she couldn’t hide it, but he didn’t think Marlow was ever privy to what was going on. “Here, come lie down. I’ll turn on the TV, and we’ll find a show to watch.”
Reese made no move. He was so deep in his thoughts and his cups Walker doubted he’d even heard him.
“Come on,” Walker insisted, helping his brother up. But before he could lead him to the couch, Reese started to talk about another bad memory, choking up before he could finish getting the words out.
“I hate him,” he said when he could speak again. “I hate that bastard.”
Walker pulled his little brother in for a hug. “You’re going to be okay. You can’t let him get to you. And you certainly can’t head down the same road.”
“There’s no fixing me,” he said, shaking his head. “All I can do is deaden the pain.”
Walker pulled back and gripped his brother by the shirt. “That’s bullshit,” he said, giving him what he hoped was a convincing shake. “Talking to someone might help.”
Reese didn’t commit, but he didn’t refuse, either. He allowed Walker to help him over to the couch, then curled up like a child.
Walker covered him with a blanket and put on a movie. But he didn’t know what he was going to do next. Marlow’s clothes were still soaked. It would take some time to dry them. He couldn’t let her ride a bicycle home this late, anyway. It wasn’t safe.
“I’ll be right back,” he told Reese. “I’ve got to go to the bathroom.”
Grabbing Marlow’s clothes on the way, he hurried to his room. He figured he’d have to tell her that he’d take her home after Reese fell asleep.
But she was no longer in his bathroom or his bed. Although he still had her clothes, Marlow was gone.
“Really? That’s what you chose from my drawers when you knew you’d be riding a bike?” Walker said, pulling up alongside her and yelling out the passenger window.
Marlow had heard his SUV coming up behind her. She’d borrowed a pair of his sweats, and they were so baggy, and she’d been in such a hurry, that she hadn’t been able to keep the left pant leg out of the chain. It’d gotten stuck before she could even reach the road.
When he stopped beside her, she was trying to release it, but that wasn’t easy while straddling the bike. “It was cold,” she complained. “And they had a drawstring to help keep them up.”
Walker got out and came around, and because he was in a better position to fix the problem, it didn’t take him long to free her. “Get in.”
The rain was starting to fall harder, so she didn’t argue. She climbed into the passenger seat and raised the window he’d lowered, grateful that he already had the heat going, while he put her bike in the back.
He pushed his wet hair out of his face as he got behind the wheel and fastened his seat belt. “I’ll dry your clothes and bring them back to you tomorrow,” he said as he glanced over at her.
She lifted her leg to examine the damage to his sweats. “I wish I could say I’ll do the same. But if I try to wash these, I’m afraid Aida or Claire will see them and know immediately that they aren’t mine.”
“I’ll take care of them whenever you return them to me.”
She gave him a sheepish look. “If you can’t get the grease out, I’ll buy you a new pair.”
“I’m not worried about that. I’m just glad I came to find you right away. Who knows how long you would’ve been stuck in the mud and the cold.”
He turned onto the road, which was clear of traffic since it was so late and storming besides.
Dropping her leg, she crossed her arms to stay warm. “Is Reese going to be okay?” she asked after several minutes with only the swish of his wipers breaking the silence.
“Yeah.” That he didn’t elaborate, despite the fact that his brother had shown up drunk and upset, told her he didn’t care to talk about it, and Marlow could understand why. Unlike the two of them, she’d always lived a privileged life, having everything money could buy and plenty of love, too.
She’d been so out of touch with Rosemary and her boys, even though they’d been part of her daily life. As an adult, she was shocked she’d ever been that oblivious. She was paying attention now. But if Walker didn’t want to open up, he probably wouldn’t appreciate her probing.
They didn’t speak again as he drove the rest of the way, partially because she didn’t know what to say. She’d never had a relationship that was founded on sex, and she didn’t really want to acknowledge that she was having one now, so she focused on what she’d overheard while rummaging through Walker’s dresser, looking for something to wear. She’d known that Rudy wasn’t the best husband or dad. She’d heard her parents murmuring about him now and then. But she’d never really understood that it had been as bad as Reese had just portrayed. He was always smiling and acting as though he didn’t have a care in the world. Was he only playing the part of the quintessential tennis pro/playboy?
She got that impression now that she’d been able to see him a little more closely. What he’d said showed a completely different side of him—a tortured side—and it gave her a glimpse into what Walker must’ve suffered, too. Maybe, as the oldest, it was even harder for him. That was often the case.
“What did you tell Reese when you left?” she asked as he pulled into Seaclusion.
“I didn’t tell him anything. I shoved your clothes under the bed and came out the French doors off the bedroom, like you did.”
“What if he notices you’re gone and starts looking for you?”
“I doubt he’ll check under the bed, so he won’t find your clothes. The rest he can wonder about.”
She nodded. Then she said, “I’m sorry that...that it was so difficult growing up.” She spoke softly and sent him a worried glance, but he continued to look straight ahead, as if he was waiting for her to get out.
“Reese will be fine. I’ll be home before he even realizes I left.”
Her comments hadn’t been limited to Reese. But she figured Walker understood that and was simply choosing not to engage. “Okay, I’m going. Good night.”
She opened the door, but before she could climb out, he grabbed her by the shirtfront and hauled her halfway across the console while he kissed her as though he might never get the chance to kiss her again. When he let go, they stared at each other for a long moment, but he didn’t say anything, so she slipped out, and he turned the truck around.
When she remembered that he had her bike, she flagged him down. “You forgot—”
“The bike,” he finished, realizing, and climbed out to set it on the ground for her. “Do you have my number?”
“I do.” She’d had it since forever.
“Good. If you ever come over again, don’t ride that damn bike,” he said as he got back behind the wheel. “Call me and I’ll pick you up.”
If you ever come over again. He wasn’t expecting anything from her. No doubt her past behavior had taught him not to count on much.
“Do you have my number?” she asked.
“No.”
She noticed that he didn’t ask for it, either. “Do you want me to come over again?”
His gaze swept over her as she stood there in his baggy sweats, getting wetter by the moment. His eyes said yes. So she was a little surprised when his mouth said, “That’s up to you.”
He obviously wasn’t going to reach out to her. “You’re indifferent?”
“Enemy sex can be some of the best sex there is. It’s certainly been fun so far.”
Blinking against the rain, she stepped back. She told herself he was joking and his response shouldn’t have hurt her, but it did. “We’re still enemies? We haven’t even graduated to friends with benefits?”
“You’ll be gone before we know it.”
“Which means...”
“There’s no need to make things more confusing,” he said and drove off.