It took forever for night to fall. Usually Marlow enjoyed the lazy days of summer, especially when she was on the island. That was one of the reasons she’d sold her condo and closed up her practice when she came to Teach even though she might return to LA—she didn’t want anything drawing her back before she was ready to leave. But today it felt as though time was standing still.
“Let’s go to Miami,” Aida suggested as they were driving back from the public beach.
Normally, Marlow would welcome this idea, if only to show her friends what the city was like. They should see it while they were so close. But if they went there tonight, they wouldn’t get back until well after Walker went to bed. Although Marlow had spent the day telling herself that, when she had the chance, she’d drop off his things, thank him for the note he’d left her and leave right away, she was already hoping he wouldn’t want her to go.
While soaking up the sun this afternoon, her hat over her face, Aida and Claire beside her, and strangers laughing, talking and moving all around them, she’d been replaying some of her favorite recent memories. The expression on Walker’s face as he’d stripped off her wet clothes was definitely one of them. So was the feel of his warm, hard body moving against hers, the way he’d tasted and smelled, and how gentle he’d been the last time they were together. Knowing she was upset about her father, he’d been trying to comfort her, and the sweetness made it special.
“I’m too tired tonight,” she told Aida.
“Tired?” Aida echoed. “All we’ve done today is lie around on the beach.”
“Hanging out in the sun can make you even more tired,” Claire said from the back seat, saving Marlow from having to defend her response.
“I have to fly to Atlanta to meet with my father’s attorney on Saturday,” she said. “My return flight lands in Miami at seven. Why don’t you and Claire drop me off at the airport and spend the day in Miami? When I get back, we’ll have dinner and head to South Beach to check out the clubs. It’ll be more exciting on the weekend, anyway. You really have to see it in full swing.”
“Okay!” they agreed.
Once they arrived back at Seaclusion, they showered and ate a late dinner at the main house. Then Aida and Claire went to the guesthouse to read or watch TV while Marlow spent a few hours with her mother.
“You don’t mind that I gave your father’s watch to Walker and his ring to Reese, do you?” Eileen said as she put glue on the back of a picture she was placing in the scrapbook.
Marlow looked up from the newspaper articles she’d been organizing by year. Fortunately, Rosemary wasn’t around to overhear this. She’d left after dinner without saying where she was going. “Not at all. I could tell they were surprised and excited.”
Her mother seemed pleased to hear that her gesture had been well received. “I considered waiting until you were married,” she mused. “Then I could’ve given the watch, at least, to your husband. But I’m saving your father’s wedding ring for that.”
Marlow placed a photo of her father with the Speaker of the House on the appropriate stack of pictures. “I’m not going to get married, Mom.”
Eileen looked up in surprise. “Ever?”
“No. I’ve seen too many marriages fall apart.”
“What about kids?”
The kids question was a difficult one. “If I decide to have kids, I might reconsider. But I don’t want to get your hopes up, because I can’t promise that will happen.”
“Why not?”
“I’ve never met anyone who’s tempted me to take the risk of going through the heartache, the fighting over assets and trying to hammer out a way to share the kids.”
“You haven’t found anyone because you’ve been too busy, too focused on your career. Maybe it’s just as well you’re letting your practice go. There are other things in life.”
“Like trying to catch a man?”
“Like finding someone to share your life with,” her mother corrected. “I think you intimidate men, or you would’ve found someone years ago.”
Marlow scowled at her. “I don’t intimidate men. I’m friendly and approachable.”
“As long as you’re meeting someone who doesn’t want to date you. You’re a wonderful person. Beautiful and smart, too. And yet you’ve never had a steady boyfriend.”
Did she intimidate men? At her age, the fact that she’d never had a serious relationship was beginning to seem odd, even to Marlow. Several of the guys she’d dated had said she made it too hard to get close to her, that she wasn’t emotionally accessible, which could be another way of saying the same thing. She’d never cared enough to take those criticisms seriously. Still, for the first time, she was beginning to wonder if she was missing out on something, after all. “There’s more to life than marriage and kids.”
“True, and I know times have changed,” Eileen said. “It’s not the same as it was when I was your age. But I hope one day you’ll know the fulfillment that comes from the type of deep and abiding love your father and I had.”
Marlow smiled as her mother reached over to squeeze her hand. “Not everyone can have what you had with Dad.”
“You never know,” Eileen said. “It could happen for you, too—if you’ll open yourself up to it.”
The next morning, Rosemary hung her head as she stood on the deck and spoke into the phone. The last thing she wanted was for Eileen to overhear her conversation from inside the house. She preferred not to hear Eileen’s opinion on the drama in her life, which Eileen would, no doubt, feel free to share. That was one of the downsides of accepting help. Because of the extra support the Madsens had provided while Rosemary was raising her boys, Eileen felt comfortable giving advice even on personal matters and expected that advice to be followed, just like her other commands.
As grateful as Rosemary was to Eileen—for everything, including her job—she didn’t want to hear her employer’s perspective right now. Eileen had been coddled and protected her whole life, first by her parents and then by her husband. She’d had a safety net beneath her since the day she was born. If anything hurt or upset her, someone would race to fix it or smooth it over. For Rosemary, it was hard to hear that she shouldn’t let Rudy back into her life from someone who’d had a husband as supportive as Tiller.
“You called him?” she said into her phone.
“I miss him!” Rudy responded. “I wanted to talk to my son. Is that so terrible?”
She gazed out at the ocean from the lower deck, squinting at the bright sun bouncing off the water. “But I was just with you last night, and you...you didn’t say anything.”
“I didn’t want to upset you. We had a great time last night. Didn’t we?”
It had been wonderful. They’d wound up making love on the beach, something she’d never imagined she’d do, especially with her ex-husband and at her age. She’d been trying not to let the relationship turn physical; she was afraid it would cloud her judgment. But one thing had led to another, and it’d felt so natural she couldn’t refuse.
She didn’t regret giving in, though. She’d come away feeling especially close to him and more hopeful than ever, which was why it would’ve been nice if he’d given her a heads-up about Reese. Thanks to the call he’d placed, she’d been blindsided by an argument with their son when she went to his apartment an hour ago to make sure he was getting up for work. “I just...didn’t expect you to contact him,” she said. “You agreed to let me smooth the way.”
“I’ve tried. I’ve waited and waited and waited, Rosemary. You and I have been talking for a long time.”
It’d taken forever for her to decide to give him another chance. He’d started calling her after he split with the woman he was living with in Texas—Kelly something—and several months after that, he’d moved to Miami to be closer to Rosemary. But he’d been living in Miami for a year, and only recently had she been willing to see him. “I...I needed a little more time.”
“I’m sorry. But I thought an apology might help. We all know I owe him one.”
Rudy’s contrition tempered her response. She’d be crushed if she were him and had a child who wouldn’t associate with her, so she wasn’t without empathy. “It was kind of you to try to apologize to him, but...he’s not open to it yet.” The mere attempt had made it more difficult for her to convince Reese that Rudy deserved a second chance. Reese had shot down everything she’d tried to say. He’d been frustrated, hurt and angry to learn that she was seriously considering a reunion with his father.
She understood how he felt. She also understood how Rudy felt. She was torn in two, which didn’t make her situation any easier.
And now that she’d slept with Rudy, he was pushing even harder for a commitment.
“Yeah, I figured that out,” he said. “You should’ve heard what he said to me.”
She gripped her phone more tightly. “What’d he say?”
“He told me if I ever come near you again, he’ll beat the shit out of me.”
She winced. Her boys were protective; Rudy had given them reason to be. “You didn’t try to call Walker, did you?”
“No. I was hoping Reese would be more receptive. That the two of you together might be able to talk Walker into...you know...letting me come around once in a while.”
Rosemary heard a noise and leaned over the railing to make sure Marlow or one of her friends wasn’t walking down the beach. She didn’t see anyone, but she knew they could come around at any moment. It was nearly ten, about the time they usually drifted over to the main house for breakfast.
She lowered her voice. “Walker is older and less volatile. He’s seen enough as a cop to understand that we all do things we regret. Maybe I’ll get through to him. But, please, let me pave the way.”
“I will. I promise. I’m sorry.”
She could understand why Rudy was growing impatient. But after the time she’d spent with him in Miami last night, she was beginning to hope even more that they’d be able to bring their fractured family back together. Her unwillingness to ruin what was developing—what could be—was the whole reason she’d been putting off the conversation she needed to have with Reese and Walker.
After this morning, however, she figured she might as well drag it all into the open and see if she couldn’t soften their hearts toward their father.
“That call with Reese was—” he whistled “—rough. Believe me, I’ve learned my lesson.”
She wasn’t sure whether to apologize for Reese or not. Rudy had earned Reese’s disapprobation. And yet...she still loved her ex-husband. It was hard to see him hurt, even if he deserved it. “I’ll look for the right opportunity.”
“Thank you. I didn’t mean to push. I’m just...trying to get my life back, and the reason I’m doing that is because I want all of you in it.”
“I know.”
“Do you think there’s a chance?”
He sounded so dejected she had to encourage him. “I do. But you have to remember that love is more malleable than trust. Once trust has been destroyed, the only way to get it back is to build it back—brick by brick.”
“I’ve been trying to build it back!”
“It takes time.”
“Okay. Thanks for...for being more willing to love me again than they are.”
She still couldn’t say whether that was a wise thing, only that she couldn’t help it. She was finding love to be far more long-suffering than she’d ever imagined. Maybe that was because she hadn’t been perfect, either. No one knew about the skeleton in her closet, but if her boys ever learned the truth, they’d hate her even more than they hated Rudy. And Rudy would hate her, too.
Should she tell them herself, so there was no risk they’d find out some other way?
She’d agonized over that question for years. The correct answer was probably yes. But what they didn’t know couldn’t hurt them. Her argument with Reese this morning proved he was in no state to hear what she had to tell him.
Bottom line, she couldn’t bring herself to do anything that would topple either of her sons’ lives, not if it could be avoided.
Marlow’s text came in at eleven that night. Walker hadn’t known what to expect from her—if she’d even check the tree—and the message she’d sent didn’t give any indication of what she was thinking or feeling. All he received was a simple request.
Are you up? Any chance you’d come get me?
He took a few seconds to consider the question, even though he knew he wasn’t going to say no. He’d decided he would sincerely try to be her friend. It wasn’t her fault she’d never been interested in him. Sure, she’d been spoiled from the beginning and could’ve been kinder, but she’d been adored by both parents from the day she was born and had always had everything she wanted. Maybe he would’ve acted no better had he been in her shoes. He’d made plenty of mistakes over the years himself—like not giving up and leaving her alone. So he’d decided to let it go. As friends they might be able to reach some sort of emotional equilibrium, allowing each of them to feel good about the other.
I’m on my way.
He took the bike, but the engine was so loud that, once he reached Seaclusion, he stopped outside the fence instead of pulling into the drive.
I’m here—on the street.
The way she was smiling when she came out, as though she was excited to see him, made him smile back. Perhaps this was all she’d ever wanted—friendship. He could make it work, couldn’t he? He’d simply continue to date other women, fulfill his sexual appetites elsewhere. That should make it possible, if not easy.
“So you’re finally going to give me a ride?” she said when she saw the bike.
He raised his eyebrows at her saucy expression and handed her the extra helmet he’d brought, but he didn’t say anything. He’d already cried uncle when he left her that note. Maybe that was why she was in such a good mood. As usual, she was getting her way.
She put on the helmet, and he helped tighten the strap under her chin. She was hanging on to a bag that probably contained his clothes, so when she climbed on behind him, only one arm circled his waist.
Once he fired up the engine and they took off, it was surprisingly chilly, thanks to the wind. On a bike, it could feel cold even when it was warm outside. He should’ve brought a jacket. Seaclusion was so close he hadn’t thought about it. But he could tell Marlow was cold. He couldn’t imagine any other reason she’d cling to him so tightly.
As soon as they reached his place, he turned off the bike and rested it on the kickstand in the driveway.
“You’re a far more cautious person than you used to be,” she said as she got off and removed her helmet.
He hadn’t been cautious when it came to her. They’d had unprotected sex twice—something he’d never done before—and he was supremely conscious of that. He had no idea what she’d do if she got pregnant with his baby. It terrified him that he’d most likely have no say whatsoever.
“There’s cautious, and then there’s foolhardy,” he said. “Not wearing a helmet is just foolhardy.”
“We barely went two miles. It takes longer to put on the helmet than it does to make the drive,” she joked.
He set both helmets on the seat. “Most car accidents happen only a mile or two from home.”
She walked beside him as they started toward the stairs. “It’s hard to believe you’re a cop. I never dreamed you’d go into law enforcement.”
“Neither did I,” he admitted. “But I’m glad I did.”
She handed him the bag, which contained his sweats, as he’d guessed, and also the T-shirt he’d worn to the bonfire.
“Why do you say that?”
He shrugged. “It provided structure when I needed it most. A family of sorts. A sense of purpose.”
“It gave you a war to fight,” she said as they started up the stairs.
“That’s certainly how it felt in Miami. The drugs that go through that place... Unbelievable. But it’s not that way here.”
“You still like the work?”
“I do.” He knew that some departments had systemic problems and corruption, but he also knew there were a lot of really good cops out there who were doing all they could to bring safety and justice to their communities. He’d been fortunate in that he’d been involved with more of the good officers than the bad, but as he got older, he found he didn’t need the kind of adrenaline rush he’d been after when he was younger. He wasn’t quite so restless, either. He was actually eager to settle down and start a family, and he couldn’t think of a safer place to do that than Teach. “Going into law enforcement gave me a constructive place to channel my energy, and it kept me from screwing up my life.”
He was tempted to take her hand as they climbed the stairs, but he refrained. He knew what would happen if he touched her. In order to make this new “friends” thing work, he’d have to keep his hands to himself.
When they reached the deck, and she saw the cake he’d purchased in case she did call him tonight, her eyes widened. “What’s this?”
He put down the sack. “Tomorrow’s your birthday, isn’t it? And I made you miss blowing out the candles at your party, so...”
“You bought me a cake. A unicorn cake.”
The pink frosting, confetti and sugar-cone horn suddenly looked more ridiculous than it had in the store. “They didn’t have a lot to choose from.” He didn’t mention that he could’ve gotten her a plain chocolate cake, but he somehow thought she’d like this sparkling confection better, even if it was meant for a little girl.
“I love it,” she murmured. “Thank you.”
“I’m not always an asshole,” he joked. “Sit down. I’ll open the wine.”
He uncorked the bottle of merlot he’d set out along with two battery-powered flameless candles, which he’d turned on before he left so they’d be flickering when he brought her back, and poured them each a glass. “To turning thirty-five,” he said, raising his in a toast. “May this be your best year yet.”
She hesitated. “While I have the chance and you’re willing to listen to me, can I just say...I really am sorry for how I behaved when we were growing up? You were always good to me.”
His mind immediately went to the incident at the airport, when he’d told her he hated her. There were other times they’d argued, too, especially as they grew older and his interest became more and more sexual. “I should’ve taken a hint and moved on. I don’t know why I didn’t.” He lifted his glass again, but still she hesitated. “Marlow?” he said, confused by her reaction. “Here’s to being friends.”
“Yeah. Here’s to being friends,” she echoed and finally finished the toast.
After they each took a sip of wine, he lit the three real candles he’d stuck in her cake. “Make a wish before that horn catches on fire,” he said with a grin.
She closed her eyes as though she was taking what she wanted to wish for under careful consideration. Then she cast him the prettiest smile he’d ever seen and blew out the candles.
“That was too easy,” he said. “I should’ve gotten the kind that won’t go out.”
She swiped some of the frosting off the top. “You don’t want me to get my wish?”
His gaze fell to her mouth as she licked her finger, and his mind immediately created a picture of her naked and straddling him in the chair with the stars shining overhead and the ocean slamming into the shore down on the beach.
Clearing his throat, he forced his attention back to his wine. Friends. “I definitely want you to get your wish. What was it?”
“I can’t tell you. Then it won’t come true.”
“Oh, I don’t think you have to worry.”
She put down her glass. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Don’t all your wishes come true?” He grinned to let her know he was joking, but he legitimately couldn’t believe there was anything she didn’t already have. She was rich, incredibly smart, successful, gorgeous, sexy, loved, admired. What more did a person need?
She studied him as he cut a big piece of cake and slid it in front of her. “I tried to say this before, and you didn’t really want to hear it, but I really am sorry you had it harder than I did growing up.”
“You weren’t responsible for that.”
“I know, but...I was so selfish and so clueless. I could’ve made your life a little easier, and I didn’t. I feel bad about it.”
He put down the knife. “Marlow, the last thing I want is your pity.”
“It’s not pity. It’s—”
“It wasn’t your job to look out for me,” he insisted.
“It wasn’t your job to look out for me, either,” she said. “And yet you did. I would’ve drowned that day if you hadn’t come out into the sea. I acted like I had it covered, but I couldn’t have made it out on my own. You saved my life.”
“Yeah, well, we both know why I was even aware you were out there.” He’d been obsessed with her, unable to stop watching what was going on at the party for fear some other boy would touch her or kiss her—or more.
“Even though I’d been a jerk and made you feel unwelcome to join the group.”
“That’s all in the past,” he said. “You don’t have to worry about it anymore, so let’s forget it and move on.”
She didn’t seem entirely satisfied with that answer. He got the impression that she didn’t want to lose his devotion but didn’t want to return it, either. “What is it?” he asked.
“Nothing.” She toyed with the frosting on her cake. “So...do you see yourself settling on Teach for good?”
“I guess it’ll depend on who I marry.”
She seemed taken aback by his response. “Marry?” she repeated, looking up.
He shrugged. “Someday.”
She pulled the horn of the unicorn from the cake and took a bite. “Are you dating anyone special?”
It felt awkward to talk about other women when they’d been sleeping together, and so recently, but he figured this was part of being friends. Apparently, they were going to forget the recent past, too. “I’m seeing a couple of women.” He didn’t add that he didn’t feel much for either one. He hoped that would change.
“Do they live here on Teach?” she asked.
“One of them does.”
“And the other?”
He shifted in his seat. “She lives in Miami and works as an interior designer.”
“That’s why you’re thinking you might move?”
“I doubt there’d be enough work for her here.”
She put the horn on her plate with her leftover cake. “I see.”
“What about you? You dating anyone special?” He didn’t want to hear about the men in her life any more than he wanted to talk about the women in his, but at least it was a natural segue from his love life—and his curiosity would be assuaged.
“No. I don’t plan on getting married. I’ve seen too much as a divorce attorney. That’s the downside of my profession, I guess.”
“Life’s full of unexpected turns. Maybe you’ll meet the right man one day, who’ll change your mind.” He just hoped he wouldn’t be around to see it when she did. “Here you go,” he said, pulling out the gift sack he’d stashed under the table.
“You got me something?”
“Not really. You’ll see.”
She dug through the tissue and pulled out her father’s Rolex. “You’re giving it back?”
“I know how close you were with him. I figure you should have it, not me.”
She blinked at him. “But my mother wants you to have it.”
“We don’t have to tell your mother.” He was hoping she’d be glad to have it. It was her father’s freaking Rolex! But she seemed dismayed.
“You’ll think of him whenever you look at it,” he said, still trying to gauge what she was feeling. But when tears welled up, he didn’t know how to react. “Marlow?” he said, confused.
Her smile seemed forced. “It’s thoughtful. Thank you—for all of this. But it’s late, and you probably have to work in the morning, so I’d better let you get some sleep.”
A wave of disappointment crashed through him. She wasn’t happy, and yet he’d been so sure he’d done everything right with the cake, the candles and the present that should’ve had tremendous meaning for her. “Okay,” he said because he didn’t know what else to say.
He led her down to the bike, but just before he handed her the helmet, he figured he should broach what he’d been worrying about. This evening hadn’t gone as well as he’d hoped, anyway. “Will you do me one favor?”
She’d gained control of her emotions and treated him to another one of those forced smiles. “I certainly owe you a favor. What is it?”
He hated to ask, but he didn’t know whether they’d ever have another opportunity like this. “I realize it’s very personal, but...will you tell me when you get your period so that...so that I’ll know we’re in the clear?”
“I’m not pregnant, Walker. My period had just ended when we were together for the first time. There’s no way I was ovulating. And it’s not as if we...I mean...I guess we did, but...” She sighed as she combed her fingers through her long hair. “Okay. I’ll let you know.”
Relieved to have a commitment so he wouldn’t have to wonder and worry needlessly, he said, “Thank you.”
He was about to help her fasten her helmet again when he remembered that she needed something to keep her warm. “Just a sec.” He jogged up to the house, went inside to grab a sweatshirt and was on his way out when something on the deck caught his eye. She’d slipped her father’s Rolex over the wine bottle. He would’ve grabbed it for her, assuming she’d forgotten it, but it was clear that she’d left it there on purpose.