When Claire’s phone vibrated under the towel protecting it from the sun, she told herself to ignore the call. She’d come to Teach Island for an escape, and she was going to take full advantage—forget the world she’d left behind and gain a healthier perspective so she could return to California stronger and in better control of her life.
But the fact that it was probably Dutton made her pull the phone out and lift her sunglasses for a peek.
Sure enough.
A quick glance at the ocean showed Marlow and Aida deep in conversation, standing in the waves that lapped gently at the beach. They were probably talking about her, and the bombshell she’d dropped a couple of hours ago. No doubt they were wondering how she could continue a relationship with Dutton. Sometimes she wondered that herself. But she hadn’t been able to turn him away, couldn’t just move on as Aida seemed to have done. Dutton was different from the other men she’d dated. Never before had she been with someone who seemed so capable of navigating the bumps of life. He stood up and took charge, and for someone who’d dated men who weren’t willing to be responsible for anything, even making future plans, that was a strong aphrodisiac. He was always willing to go to the work of having a good time, too, no matter how much planning it took, and he was interested in so many things, which made him fun to be with.
Fortunately, this call had come while she was alone—or essentially alone. Otherwise, she couldn’t have answered.
Tilting her wide-brimmed floppy hat to shield part of her face, she turned away from the water as she raised the phone to her ear. She’d never dreamed she’d ever get involved with a married man. She’d always considered herself a good judge of character and a person of strong character herself. But with Dutton, she hadn’t seen it coming.
A little over a year ago, when she’d bumped into him while closing up her yoga studio as he was heading to the hair salon next door, there’d been an immediate spark. He’d teased her about how she had to struggle to get the darn door to lock properly and had offered a little elbow grease to get it to latch, and then he’d returned the next day to say he hadn’t been able to quit thinking about her.
The relationship had progressed quickly from there—until, almost six months later, Tori Valens, the hairdresser next door, finally came forward to tell her he was married.
“Hello?” she said now.
“Hey, babe.” His voice, as deep and rich as that of any radio host, sent a jolt of pure longing through her. This was the person who’d supported her—emotionally and financially—during the loss of her house and her business, when the state’s shutdown lasted for months and months and she could no longer pay the rent on her studio. When she was so distraught she could barely climb out of bed in the morning, he was there to help her cope with the bitter disappointment of seeing her dreams come crashing down, especially after her house was destroyed in one of the biggest wildfires in California. He’d moved her into his apartment, given her security and financial support, and helped her wade through all the red tape of dealing with the insurance company, getting bids for the rebuild and choosing the contractor.
He’d lied so convincingly through all of that time, created a whole world for her that didn’t actually exist. She’d never even suspected that the apartment he’d rented was just for show. The job he claimed to have as a pharmaceutical rep, the one that demanded he travel—his excuse for being gone so much—was nothing like his practice as a pediatric surgeon. And he’d told her his parents and his sister lived out of town, which was why she never got to meet any of his family.
He’d had an answer for everything. And she’d believed every word.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Missing you,” he said.
She was missing him, too. But she didn’t say so. She was trying to hang on to her principles, and what she knew would be best for her in the long run.
“How was the trip to Florida?”
“I’m not a big fan of flying, but it was okay as flights go, I guess.”
“I told you—you have a greater chance of dying in a car crash than a plane crash.”
“If only I could convince my subconscious of that. I almost had an anxiety attack when they closed the door.”
“You should’ve taken a Valium.”
“I don’t have any.”
“I would’ve prescribed some for you. All you had to do was say the word.”
He saw nothing wrong with writing a prescription. His willingness to bend the rules was a problem. She saw it as the red flag that it was. So why didn’t his lack of integrity stop her from caring about him? From wanting to be with him? “I made it safely,” she said simply. “So it’s a moot point.”
“You still have the return flight. Do you want me to send you something?”
She couldn’t argue with him. Not right now. Putting him off would be easier. “We’ll talk about that when I’m closer to leaving the island.”
“Don’t tell me you’re staying all summer,” he said.
She straightened in surprise. She’d never indicated otherwise. “That’s always been the plan.”
“I can’t go three months without seeing you.”
She was afraid she couldn’t last that long, either—not if she didn’t manage to somehow strengthen her resolve.
“By then Marlow will have poisoned you against me,” he said. “She and Aida have nothing good to say about me.”
“They’re looking forward, not back.” Loyalty demanded she not tell him certain things. He was as angry with them as they were with him. He freely admitted that he’d been wrong to cheat, but he justified his behavior toward Aida by saying she’d never had to work a day since she married him, that for ten years he’d provided her with a fabulous life where all she had to do was get her nails done and sit by the pool, and yet they’d “taken him to the cleaners” in the divorce.
“I wish you’d come to me instead of Aida when Tori told you.”
So he could...what? Lie some more? Hide his income so Aida wouldn’t get her fair share?
Claire hated to assume the worst, but she had only his track record to go by. “Let’s not talk about that,” she said. They’d been over it before. When he called her out of the blue after the divorce had been finalized, he’d been careful not to fault her for telling Aida. But she’d noticed more and more blame creeping into their conversations in the weeks since, and she wasn’t going to let him make her the villain for telling his wife. Aida had the right to know. She’d want to know if she were in Aida’s shoes.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s just that they screwed me so bad.”
“I’ve told you how I feel about the situation.”
“You believe what happened was my fault. But there are two sides to every story, Claire. Aida wasn’t a perfect wife any more than I was a perfect husband.”
She’d already heard all about that, of course. He’d told her that Aida lived her life barely scratching the surface of it, that after the decade they’d been together, he’d grown bored, listless. He craved someone to speak to at the end of the day who was interested in deeper conversation. And as much as Claire hated to admit it, she could sort of understand why Dutton wouldn’t be satisfied—not if he was looking for a critical thinker who could see the many shades of gray in life.
Afraid to face the ocean again for fear Aida or Marlow, or both of them, had seen her talking on the phone and would guess it was Dutton, she kept her head turned away. “Look, I’d better go. I can’t talk right now.”
“Come back to California,” he said. “What we had... You don’t want to throw that away, Claire, not when we can finally be together on the up-and-up. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance at happiness.”
She squeezed her eyes closed as desire warred with loyalty, friendship, duty—and common sense. “I’m going to stay here for the summer, Dutton. If...if I still feel the same way about you when I get home, maybe...maybe something will change. But I need time to decide if I can forgive you and trust you enough to get back into a relationship.”
Silence. She could feel the negative energy coming through the phone. “I’m scared,” he admitted at length. “I can’t imagine you’ll come back to me after spending three months with my ex-wife. I mean...this isn’t how it normally works. You two are supposed to hate each other, and I can’t figure out why you don’t.”
Claire understood how unlikely their friendship was. Part of it was being in the same terrible situation. That was what had drawn them together in the first place, and supporting each other had made the past six months easier to survive. The other part was simply...Aida. Maybe she wasn’t the deepest person Claire had ever met, but she was kind and optimistic and sweet. Not many wives would be able to see, almost immediately, that Claire wasn’t to blame. From the very beginning, Aida had offered understanding instead of recrimination, which was remarkable. “It’s unusual, but...”
“But...” he echoed.
She hated herself for hesitating. It had to be jealousy that made it difficult for her to praise Aida’s many fine qualities, because doing so would’ve been easy and automatic if she were talking to anyone else. “She’s special,” she forced herself to admit.
He should know. He’d married her for a reason. There were moments when Claire wondered if he was only coming back to her because Aida had refused to reconcile. Before everything turned completely acrimonious during the divorce, Aida had indicated that there’d been a few weeks when he’d tried to win her back.
Later, he’d told Claire that it was because he’d already invested ten years in the marriage and didn’t want to see it all go down the drain. But she suspected it had more to do with losing half his net worth.
Or was she being too hard on him? Relationships were complicated. Maybe he’d been sincere in trying to reconcile, because some part of him had truly loved Aida. But that was as difficult for her to contemplate as the opposite.
“You’re right. I don’t want to talk about her,” he said. “What happened...it’s over and done with. We need to move on. But I can’t move on without you.”
The doubts that crowded into Claire’s mind made her feel as though her head might explode. Did he really love her? That was the million-dollar question. Or was he just trying to save what he could? Aida claimed he had to have a woman in his life at all times, feared being alone. Claire didn’t want to fall for his lies twice. But he could get almost any woman he wanted. He didn’t have to pick her. And she couldn’t help remembering how wonderful things had been between them before she’d learned the truth. “We’ll see. As I said, I’m going to spend the summer here on Teach and try to get my thoughts together. I’ll let you know where I’m at once I’m home.”
“It sounds like you’re not even planning on talking to me while you’re there.”
“I think that would be best.” How else could she get her heart and her mind in alliance? Just the sound of his voice made her start to question herself all over again.
“Isn’t there anything I can do to convince you that what we had was real? That I wouldn’t have cheated with anyone else? The day you walked out of your studio... I don’t know how to describe it. It sounds corny, but I was just...struck.”
She’d had the same reaction to him. She’d been so excited when he’d come back the next day, and everything had moved so fast from there. He’d told her later that he couldn’t reveal he was married, that he was terrified he’d lose her, so one lie had led to another, which had led to another, and pretty soon he was living a life that wasn’t even close to reality. But as wrong as it was to do what he did, she could understand how it could happen—because she’d been there. She’d experienced the power of their attraction, how instantly they’d connected, how his touch had set her skin racing with anticipation and excitement, how fulfilling their conversations had been and how often they’d talked until deep into the night. Those first love-drunk weeks together were unlike anything she’d ever known, which was why she felt so lost now.
Shit. What was she going to do?
“Claire?”
“What?”
“I know you felt the same way about me.”
“I hate that I loved you and trusted you so much,” she said. “I’ve never felt the kind of pain I’ve experienced since I found out about Aida.”
“The pain can go away if you’ll let it. I’m right here, and I still want you. All you have to do is forgive me.”
“And trust again,” she added. That was the part she wasn’t sure she could do.
“I’ll earn your trust day by day. You’ll see.”
How? If she got back with him, she’d not only ruin her friendships with Aida and Marlow, she’d spend the next few days, weeks, years wondering if he was paying for an apartment for some other woman when he claimed to be called in to the hospital or working late.
“Just say you’ll think about it,” he said.
That was easy enough to promise, since getting back with him was all she could think about. “Okay.”
After they disconnected, she slid her phone back under her towel and stared out at the sea. Fortunately, Aida and Marlow didn’t seem to be paying her any attention. They’d started walking along the shoreline and had their backs to her as they approached a small jetty, where Marlow’s family had a slip for their catamaran. What were they talking about?
Marlow was one of the smartest women Claire had ever known. She would definitely advise Claire not to allow Dutton back into her life. But Marlow was so cynical about men that she hadn’t ever let a relationship get serious.
Claire wasn’t convinced she was willing to pay that steep a price to keep her heart safe.