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I spun and dipped, smacking the top of my foot into the top of the six-foot weighted bag I had installed in the new gym space this morning.
Derek fucking White had presented me with papers yesterday. Signed fucking papers dating a week before Oisin's fucking sire dragged him off to the fae lands. The building that housed the bookstore and our apartment was officially mine until Oisin returned.
And if he returned in a body bag? Still mine.
I grunted and punched the bag in rapid succession. A will. I didn't know which pissed me off more, the idea that Oisin had been so sure he was going to lose against his father that he'd gone off behind my mother fucking back and made a will, or the thought that White had manufactured all the paperwork in advance. Because he was a fucking demon of some sort and who knew what the hell he was capable of.
I paused to catch my breath and a deep, smoky chuckle drifted up to me from the second floor. I punched the bag again, pretending it was White's face.
I didn't want his Godsdamned help.
But I needed it. So I had to tolerate the fucker showing up in my territory whenever he felt like it. Which, lately he felt like it way more than he should.
Under all my pissiness and rage, fueling it like a damned gas leak, was the constant thought of Oisin. Oisin dead. Oisin being sucked dry by his father. Oisin cursing my name because I had so thoroughly failed him.
It was my job to protect my pride, damn it. I was strong. Capable. No one fucked with me.
Except when they did. And I lost.
I let my mind go blank, letting my animal side take over. Punch, kick, spin, lunge. Over and over, driving myself to that numb flow state where everything else falls away.
"You just got that thing set up this morning and you're already trying to kill it?" Kaimana's husky voice pulled me from my fury. I put my hands on my knees, wheezing, sweat pouring off my face and body, bloody knuckles healing as I caught my breath.
"Food's ready, gryphon," the kraken said blandly. "Maybe stop raging for a minute and stuff your face."
I straightened and met her dark blue eyes. She saw too much. But she pretended to be oblivious. "Or...you could spar with me?" I cajoled.
She snorted and crossed her arms under her enormous breasts. "No."
I scowled. She might look all soft and sweet, but she was stronger than any supe I'd ever met. "Chicken."
She raised a dark eyebrow at me. "I understand wanting to train. And wanting to work out some of that anger inside you. But really, Gesa, you need to rest sometime. Otherwise you'll be no good to Oisin. Or to anyone else."
I huffed. She wasn't wrong. Just annoying as fuck. "Spar with me, then I'll go eat."
She put her hands on the swell of her hips and a sly smile lifted one corner of her mouth. "If I spar with you, you come soak in the tub with me later. Relax. Chill the fuck out."
I rolled my eyes. "We have fae to murder, and you wanna play spa?"
She just raised that eyebrow again. "Fae will still be there waiting for you to murder them after you take a break. We have a week before we leave anyway."
I growled. Like I needed the reminder.
A whole fucking week of me going stir crazy with helplessness.
"Fine," I muttered. "I'll take a bath if you come punch me."
She laughed, low and rich, then kicked off her slippers and pushed up the sleeves of her sweater before pacing over to the mat I'd laid down yesterday. Since it was apparently my fucking house now, I could redecorate all I wanted. No one was using this third-floor bedroom, since we mostly slept together in twos and threes. So, I commandeered this space for my gym.
I walked over to join Kai on the mat. "None of that tentacle crap you pulled before," I reminded her. I didn’t even know she could grow tentacles while in human form and on dry land, until I'd seen her defending Con from Oisin's dad's goons. But she had nearly reverse-suffocated herself by pulling the half-shift on dry land.
She just rolled her eyes at me and tossed her long black hair over her shoulder. Then she shook out her willowy limbs, dancing in place like a fighter from a cheesy eighties kung fu movie. "Chicken," she mocked me.
I sighed and threw a punch toward her gut, testing to see how seriously she was going to take this.
She danced away, grabbed my wrist and dropped to the ground, flinging me over her shoulder to land on my back with a solid thud.
"Fuck," I wheezed.
Kai laughed and danced around me, hopping from foot to foot. "Big bad gryphon, my ass. I'm pretty sure you're part house cat and part pigeon."
I sighed and rolled over, getting to my hands and knees before pushing up to stand. "Just testing the waters," I assured her. "Wouldn't want to hurt you."
She grinned. "Go ahead. Hurt me. It'll make you feel better."
I frowned at that, but she danced closer, reaching out to hit me in the solar plexus with a stony fist. I tried to hide my wheeze as I absorbed the blow and reset my feet to a more solid base of support.
"I know," she said dramatically. "I'm too pretty to hit. But honestly, Gesa, you'll be fighting fae, so you should really try to see past all this gorgeousness."
I rolled my eyes. Even if she was technically right. Again.
I stepped in and threw some serious punches. She blocked them with a fluid ease that made me feel like a child.
Well, fuck.
She slipped a slender leg behind my own and I went down again. Motherfucker.
I tried again and again, finally losing my patience and actually trying to hurt her—a little. I never even got close.
In the end, I lay on my back, holding what I was pretty sure was a cracked rib, panting in shallow gasps until the bone knit back together and stopped feeling like a dagger in my lungs. Kai stood over me with her hands on her hips, not even breathing hard. Her long black hair fell forward as she leaned over me. "Okay there, gryphon?"
I laughed, then hissed as the rib let me know it wasn't done healing yet. "Fine."
She squatted down, pressing her lips together as she considered me. I had no idea what the hell she was looking for. "Do you feel any better?"
I glared. "Fuck no."
That only got me a nod and a shrug. "Well of course not, moron. Oisin isn’t going to magically appear just because you hit things."
I pushed myself up to sit, gingerly testing out the rib by bending to one side then the other. "What?"
She heaved a sigh. "If you don't get it, honey, it's not going to do me any good to explain. But I'll beat you up again anytime you want, if it means I get you in the tub."
I stared at her. "What the fuck are you spouting right now? Are you even speaking English?"
She smiled that krakens-don't-care-about-anything smile and stood, reaching out to pull me to my feet. "Food," she said firmly. "Then a bath. Maybe a good fuck. A nap." She patted my shoulder. "It's not just for your own good, you know," she told me sagely. "The rest of us need a rest from your attitude."
"Shut up." I shoved her off me and strode toward the door and the scent of Con's cooking.
She chuckled and followed behind me. "You aren't the only one who's suffering," she said softly.
I stopped and closed my eyes, clenching my fists, unable to look at her. She was right. I was failing my pride. Again. They needed me to be strong. Solid. Unflappable. Not the fucking mess I was right now.
"I'm doing the best I can," I said, tasting the lie on my tongue.
She drifted by me, trailing her long fingers along my shoulder and across my collarbone in passing. "I know you think you are."