Chapter 2
That girl. That, that . . . woman!
As he strode down Main Street toward the Kinsinger Lumber Mill’s main office, Lukas felt like throwing his hat on the ground and stomping on it. And then turning right back around, yanking open the glass door of the post offic,e and marching in to tell Darla Kurtz exactly what he thought of her snide suspicions.
While he was at it, he would go ahead and tell her exactly what he thought about her standing on the other side of that worn counter and shoving an awful sheet of bird stamps at him without so much as a smile.
And then, well, he would tell her how much he missed her. How much he’d needed her over the last three months. She was the only person with whom he didn’t have to act confident and sure. He could just be Luke.
Not the son who’d stood at his father’s grave and vowed to always look after the people who depended on him. Not Lukas Kinsinger, who ran the biggest business in Charm and was now responsible for hundreds of men’s livelihoods.
Not the eldest brother whom his sisters and younger brother now depended on.
But whether she’d pushed him away in order to rile him up or because she didn’t care about him anymore, he didn’t know. He’d been disappointed when he’d realized that she wasn’t as eager to mend things between them. She was wrong to think that keeping away from each other was going to help their grief or heal their families’ heartache.
Yes, everything was difficult right now—beyond difficult, and painful, too—but that was how he knew they should be reaching out to each other, not pushing away. Not only did it make sense, but it was the best thing for the lumber mill and maybe even the town itself. Everyone knew that there was a lot of tension between their families and it was causing a lot of talk.
There was no reason on earth that the two of them couldn’t continue their friendship. They’d survived so much already: the summer they’d both gotten ringworm and neither had wanted to appear in public, Lukas’s brief infatuation with Molly Miller and her alluring curves, and that one awful, hormonal-crazed year when Darla had turned thirteen and cried almost every day.
Still, recalling the afternoon he’d teased her about her moodiness, he winced. Darla had gotten so tired of his playful comments and jibes, she’d announced very loudly that it was her time of the month—much to his dismay and her embarrassment. He was sure he’d blushed every single time he saw her for a whole year afterward.
If they could survive all of that, plus a whole bunch of other catastrophes and minor arguments, he imagined that they could help each other get through almost anything.
Even the deaths of their fathers.
Lukas had hoped that they’d reached a point in their lives where they could ignore the rest of the world, reach out to each other, and offer comfort and care. Wasn’t that why God had given them years and years of opportunities to gain each other’s trust and affection? Only such a foundation would help them get through this year. After all, what was the point of a friendship surviving fifteen-plus years if not to have each other at times like this?
He didn’t know. Worse, he didn’t think Darla knew either. If only she would give him some time to talk to her, Lukas was sure they could finally, finally reach a point where the awful ache resting deep inside his chest would ease. If that happened, he’d be able to breathe easier and do everything he’d promised his father.
And if that happened, everything else that was worrying him would fall into place, too.
But until Darla stopped being so obstinate, he was going to have to give her a wide berth. And now, he was practically banned from the post office!
He kicked at a rock in his path. How could something he’d taken for granted for years now suddenly feel like it was the most important thing in his life? And for that matter, why did repairing the damage between them now feel as impossible as turning back time?
Frustrated beyond measure, he kicked at the rock again. This time, instead of merely skittering to a stop in front of him, it veered to the right, narrowly missing a pair of children.
Their mother glared at him.
“Sorry!” he called out before grumbling to himself again.
He needed Darla back in his life. He needed her friendship and she needed to understand that what had happened to their fathers—indeed, to all the men—had been a terrible accident. The fire hadn’t been her father’s fault and it certainly hadn’t been his father’s fault. It had been caused by spontaneous combustion—according to the fire marshal.
Lukas preferred to simply consider it an accident. An act of God, much like a lightning strike or a tornado. And because of that, he understood that it made no sense. But they didn’t need for it to make sense. One day He would help them understand.
Lukas hoped so, anyway.
Still annoyed, he kicked another pebble blocking in his path, earning him another glare from a pair of kinner.
“Ack, Lukas, stop with the rocks!”
Only his brother, Levi, talked to him that way.
Drawing to a halt, he turned as Levi approached, his brown eyes contrasting with his dark blond hair curling wildly under the brim of his straw hat. As usual, Levi walked like a runner; his thin, wiry body moving in a constant fluid motion. “Hey, Levi.”
“Hey, yourself,” his brother snapped. “Did you see that you almost hit those kinner with that rock?”
“It wasn’t even close.”
Levi pulled his hat off and brushed back a chunk of hair from his forehead before slapping the hat back on. “What is wrong with you? Who burned your toast today?”
Lukas refrained from rolling his eyes, but just barely. “I canna believe you brought that up.”
Levi slowly grinned. “Couldn’t help myself.”
His brother was referring to an episode when Lukas was eight, when he’d yelled and griped at everyone one morning on the way to church. When their mother had finally had enough of his surly attitude, she’d asked what had happened to set him off so badly. And because he couldn’t really think of a reason why he was grumpy, he’d said the phrase of which he was now reminded with irritating regularity: that his toast had been burnt.
Oh, but his family had had a time with that! Now, whenever he wore a frown, they brought it up with a teasing smile. Unfortunately, he didn’t get as much entertainment from the constant reminder as the rest of them did.
“I’m never going to live that down, am I?”
Levi’s lips twitched. “Nope. Especially when you’re stomping down public sidewalks, scaring women and children by kicking debris in your path.”
“I didn’t mean to scare anyone. And the rock was in my way.”
“They always are. Ain’t so?”
Lukas refrained from saying a word about that, but it took some effort. That was the kind of response their father had liked, short quips that got to the heart of the matter. Like their daed, Levi was a master at it.
Himself? Not so much.
Leaning against the side of a brick building, Levi looked him over before he raised his eyebrows. “So, what has got you in such a lather? Did something happen at the mill today that I wasn’t aware of?”
Since their daed passed, he and Levi had divided up their shifts. Now Lukas arrived around five in the morning and left in the early afternoon. Levi came in around eleven and worked until five or six. Their sister Rebecca managed the mill office from nine to four. That way Levi could help their sister Amelia, with the majority of the farm work in the morning and Lukas and Rebecca could help with the evening chores. None of them wanted their twenty-two-year-old sister to feel like she was stuck caring for the big property their family had lived on for generations by herself.
“Everything is fine at the mill.” After debating whether to tell the truth or not, Lukas forged ahead, figuring he had nothing to lose. “I just got in a small argument with Darla.”
All traces of amusement vanished from Levi’s expression. “Why were you even talking to her?”
“I was in the post office. That’s where she works.”
Levi rolled his eyes. “There are a dozen people who could have run that errand for you. Even Rebecca. You need to keep your distance, brother.”
That was the problem, Lukas realized. While there were a lot of people who could have run to get a sheet of stamps that he hadn’t actually needed, he couldn’t be assured that any of them would treat her as kindly as he had. Even Rebecca was keeping Darla and her family at arm’s length, and that was saying a lot because at one time they’d been almost as close as he and Darla.
“I wanted to reach out to her. Mend some fences.”
“For what? For her father causing the worst disaster in our mill’s history? For killing our daed?”
Lukas winced. Levi’s temper was still running hot. Lukas usually tried to calm Levi, to be the voice of reason, but at the moment, he just wasn’t up to the task. He felt too raw, too vulnerable after being rejected by Darla.
“I even asked if I could stop by and see her tonight. She refused.”
“Don’t know why she would have done that. I’m sure Aaron would have loved to see you.”
Again, there was Levi’s heavy dose of sarcasm. Aaron was known for having a volatile temper. “I wasn’t concerned about Aaron.”
“You should be. He hasn’t tried to curb his tongue at all when it comes to talking about us. Micah confided in me that Aaron has even been stirring up trouble in his department at the mill.”
“Save your warnings, okay? She didn’t want me to come over. Matter of fact, Darla pretty much told me that we needed to stay away from each other.”
“Maybe she’s more than just a pretty face after all.”
“She’s always been more than just a pretty face.”
“Maybe.” Almost grudgingly, Levi said, “Still, I never thought one grown woman could remain so petite.”
“She’s five feet, two inches. She is small, but not unusually so.”
“What do you think she weighs? Even a hundred pounds?” Levi asked.
“Maybe a hundred pounds wet.” In spite of his irritation, Lukas smiled. “She only seems small because you’re tall.”
“Hey, you’re six-foot-two, too.”
“I know. We could practically be twins.”
“Not hardly. No one would mistake your red hair for mine.”
“It’s not red. It’s strawberry blond.”
“It’s red, Lukas.”
“Whatever.”
Those brown eyes that had flashed irritation just moments earlier now studied him carefully. “Hey, I am sorry about how
things are going with Darla. I know you’re upset about how she wants to keep her distance, but it really is for the best.”
“Maybe.” He understood his brother’s reasoning but he wasn’t eager to lose another person in his life. He’d already lost his parents.
“I know she once meant something to ya, but you need to let her go, bruder. Her father was not only responsible for Daed’s death, but he killed three other men. And caused thousands and thousands of dollars in damages. No matter how you might yearn to excuse him, John Kurtz nearly burned our legacy down.”
“Even if he did such a thing, it’s not Darla’s fault.”
“I agree. But no one in her family has ever even apologized. That’s all I want.”
“Why should they?” They started walking toward the mill.
“You are seriously asking me that? We all bear responsibility for each other’s actions, don’t you think?”
“Not necessarily.”
“We’re family, Lukas.”
“Is that what you think it’s only going to take, Levi? An apology?”
“Of course.” He looked disgruntled. “It’s our way to grant forgiveness.”
Lukas nodded, but he had already forgiven John Kurtz publicly. Privately, too. Well, he’d tried to. After all, the man was dead. There was no greater price to pay. But for some reason he wasn’t sure if that simple act was going to be enough for any of them. Actually, he was beginning to think it was going to be far harder to forgive than he’d ever thought possible. “It’s our duty to grant forgiveness, whether the person asks for forgiveness or not.”
“That is true. And maybe one day I’ll actually be able to do that, but not yet.” Before Lukas could comment, Levi clasped him on the shoulder. “Before I head home to help Amelia, I’ll remind you of something Daed always used to say.”
“What was that?”
“We can forgive a man because that’s the right thing to do. But the Bible never said a word about forgetting.”
Feeling like that statement was rather prophetic, Lukas opened the front door of the mill with a bit of relief. As he turned the corner, he spied his good friend Roman sipping a bottle of water and chatting with a couple of workers on his team.
After greeting the other men, Lukas smiled at his friend. “It’s good to see you. How are you?”
“Good enough,” he said in his usual, easy manner. “I was just coming to talk to you. Got a second?”
“Always,” Lukas said as he led the way into his office.
As Roman started telling him about the project he was working on, Lukas felt the muscles in his shoulders relax. This was what he needed. Now, more than ever, he needed to lose himself in work. No matter what else happened in his life, he could be sure that there would be plenty to do here at the mill.