Danke for coming to the farm,” Jay said to a man about his age wearing a ball cap. “We appreciate your business.”
“Are you kidding? We’re glad y’all are open again. This is the best place in the county for fresh organic fruits and vegetables.” Looking around, he pointed to the new display cases Jay, Ben, and Mark had built in the evenings. “I had heard you had opened a stand on the road, but this place is terrific.”
“Thank you,” Jay said, glad that the old building on the edge of the property had turned into such a perfect place to sell all their produce. With its quaint features, it looked like a cross between a gingerbread house and a rustic barn. The boys had painted it brick red and ordered a sign from a local woodworker declaring it the Hilty Organic Market in black and gold. The building had turned out to be a far better stand than Jay could have imagined. And its unusual, charming quirkiness had caught the eye of many locals.
When the boys had wanted to give the roadside spot a try, seeing that it wouldn’t hurt anything to get people interested in the quality of their produce, Jay hadn’t been too hopeful about it being successful. Luckily he’d been wrong. Word of mouth had been strong and every few days their number of customers doubled. The Lord had been working with them for sure.
Holding up his basket practically filled to the brim, the customer continued. “Everything you’re carrying is top-notch. We’re telling everyone we know about you.”
“I am grateful for that. We’ll be adding handmade soaps and other items eventually. Maybe even fresh baked goods, too.”
“Sounds perfect. Thanks again,” the man said after handing Jay his money.
After the man walked out to his car, hands laden with two large sacks full of fruits and vegetables, Jay gave a sigh of relief. At last they could rest for a moment.
“How many customers was that for the day, Daed?” Mark called out from the back of the stand where he was wiping down shelves.
“Twenty-seven.”
Mark’s grin was a replica of how Jay himself was feeling inside. “That’s the best number yet and the day ain’t even over.”
“I was thinking the same thing,” Jay admitted. “I hate to count my chickens before they’re hatched, but things are looking up, for sure and for certain.”
“They’re getting better every day, Daed,” Mark said as he walked to his side. “That man sounded like he loves your fruit and vegetables.”
“Nee, that isn’t right.” Jay reached out and playfully tipped his middle boy’s hat down low on his forehead. “The customer loves our fruit and vegetables, son. You’ve put as much effort into this stand as I have, and any success we have is because of your hard work and Ben’s, too. I’m right proud of both of you. I could have never done all of this on my own.”
Mark beamed, reminding Jay once again about how important it was to compliment his boys on jobs well done.
“Before we know it we’ll be running the store full-time,” he said.
“Maybe so.” Jay wasn’t willing to sound any more optimistic than that, but he was beginning to feel cautiously eager about their plans.
Almost since the moment they’d moved into the house, he, Ben, and Mark had gotten up every morning before dawn and spent practically every waking hour on the business. Each day either he or Ben would return to the house at half past six and wake up William. After the four of them had a big breakfast together, one of them would take William to school, then head back to the farm to put in a full day’s work.
It had been a hard schedule. And Jay would be lying if he didn’t admit that he’d spent at least a few minutes a day fighting the guilt that ate at him for spending so much of his energy and time on the business. He hoped the boys, especially William, weren’t feeling as if he didn’t care as much about their needs.
But neither Ben nor Mark had taken nearly as much time for himself as Jay had tried to give them. Instead, they threw themselves wholeheartedly into the business. Little by little Jay had come to realize that this organic farm wasn’t just his dream; it was his sons’ dream, too.
Together, they’d decided to start small with the sales part of the business. Eventually, Jay would concentrate more on expanding the farm, but for now they had decided to take advantage of the fruit and crops that had already been planted.
“What do you think we should do? Wait another hour or celebrate by taking off an hour early?”
Mark pointed past Jay to the couple walking toward them. “Stay and hear what Ben and Tricia have to say.”
“They’re here already?” Concerned, he walked over to them. “Ben, why isn’t William with you?”
“Because Emma said she wanted to bring him home.”
“Why?” Automatically, he feared the worst. “Did something happen? Should you have left him?”
“William is fine.” Looking a bit mischievous, Ben stuffed his hands in his pockets. “What’s more, he ain’t the reason Emma wants to come over tonight.”
“What is the reason?” He held up a basket of berries. “Does she need some fruit? We can get that ready for her.”
“She isn’t coming over for fruit,” Tricia said.
Jay thought Tricia looked like she was hiding a special secret, too. “What does she want?”
Ben and Tricia exchanged small smiles, then Ben spoke. “She, ah, wants to come courting.”
He froze. “What?”
Behind him, Mark stifled a chuckle. Barely.
Jay decided to ignore his son’s amusement. “Tell me what you mean, son,” he bit out as he tried to ignore the flush of embarrassment that was surely staining his cheeks.
“We were talking to her about our engagement,” Tricia began. “Then we started talking about courting . . .”
“And then I asked her if she was ever going to date again,” Ben continued. “And, well, I might have also asked about you and her.”
“You did not.”
Ben nodded. “It wasn’t any big deal, Daed.”
“You and I will speak about keeping my business private later, son.”
“We can talk about that all you want, but I wasn’t wrong. She knows you are becoming a friend and I think she admires you, too.”
Jay’s next gripe got stuck in his throat as his son’s words registered. “She said all that?”
“More or less.” Ben shrugged. “We didn’t talk about you all that much. But she is going to come over.” Giving him a look, Ben added, “And before you start getting upset with me for sticking my nose in your business, I need to point out that this visit was her idea, not mine.”
“Really?” he asked before he remembered to stop sounding like a lovesick fool.
Tricia nodded. “Really.”
“You ought to be nice to her, Daed,” Mark said.
“I’m always nice to her.”
“You ought to take her out walking or something, then. Girls like that.”
He was completely taken off guard, both by his middle boy’s dating advice . . . and what his words meant. “Mark,” he ventured hesitantly, “do you want me to see Emma?”
“Maybe.” He paused, then added, “I hate seeing you alone.”
“I haven’t been alone. I have all of you.”
“It ain’t the same, Daed.” Mark looked down at his boots, as if he was wary about revealing his thoughts.
Jay could understand that. He didn’t want to reveal just how much he was starting to care for Emma. “We’ll see what happens,” he murmured, attempting to keep his voice and expression neutral. “After all, it hasn’t been that long since your mamm passed away.”
Raising his chin again, Mark said, “I know, Daed. But Mamm was sick for a long time before then.” He held up a hand. “I know I’m not supposed to ever speak of that. Or talk about how I feel. I’ll stop.”
“You can always tell me how you feel, Mark. Always.” When his son looked at him like he couldn’t quite believe that, he added, “I know your heart is in the right place. I know you loved your mamm, and just as importantly, she knew it, too. Because of that, you can be as honest as you would like about your feelings.”
He looked back down at the floor. “I only meant that when she was so sick, it was like we’d already lost her,” he mumbled.
Mark’s words hit him hard. Not because they weren’t true or he was surprised. It was because Mark was brave enough to voice how long and difficult Evelyn’s illness had been for everyone. Jay had always felt disloyal whenever he dared to be so honest. “I know,” he said at last. “I know what you meant. But that doesn’t mean I need to start getting serious about another woman.”
Ben groaned impatiently. “You don’t have to be like Tricia and me and fall in love right away, Daed. But anything is better than sitting home alone all the time. Ain’t so?”
He privately agreed, but he didn’t know how to handle both his feelings and his sons’ feelings. Or how much his eldest sounded like a love and romance expert.
But because William was not there—and he’d always been sure that William was suffering the most from the loss of Evelyn—he admitted, “I don’t know how to do all of this correctly. I don’t want either of you to feel like I’m replacing your mother.”
“You could never replace Mamm,” Mark said. “But I don’t think she would be happy to know you were home by yourself and sad.”
He’d never thought about it like that. He’d only concentrated on his promises to her . . . not what she might have wanted him to do. Evelyn was the most generous woman he’d ever met, and though her body had always been weak, she’d had innate strength about her. A backbone. “I think you’re right.”
Ben smiled. “If we’re right, then that means you ought to go home and wash up, Daed. We’ll finish up here.”
He looked down at his clothes. He supposed he was a bit muddy. “You think I need to clean up a bit?”
Tricia nodded. “It couldn’t hurt, Jay.”
As he went inside the house to take that shower, he felt lighter. As if the weight of guilt and worry he’d been carrying around had finally been lifted. To his surprise, he also felt a little nervous. He was going courting again. And as he thought of Emma, with her perfect skin, dark blue eyes, and heart of gold, he knew he wanted to be worthy of her.
Actually, he wanted to eventually mean as much to her as she already meant to him.
That was something to truly aspire to.
JAY HAD JUST MADE a pitcher of fresh-squeezed lemonade when the kitchen door opened and William came in with Lena, Mandy, and Annie right behind. Emma brought up the rear, looking a bit like she was herding sheep.
After greeting them all, he couldn’t resist teasing Emma. “What, no matching dresses today?”
“Mamm changed,” Mandy said, her mouth in a tiny pout. “She said she needed a fresh dress. I don’t know why.”
It took everything Jay had not to smile when Emma flushed. “I gardened today,” she said. “It’s always a very warm job.”
“I had to change, too. I was out selling produce.”
William looked around and frowned. “Where are Mark and Ben?”
“They are finishing up business this afternoon at the stand. They’ll be here within the hour.”
“Oh.”
Jay noticed the three girls were staring at him like they were just waiting to be visited with. Pulling up a kitchen chair, he sat down on it so he wouldn’t be towering over them. Gentling his voice, he asked, “What did you three do today?”
Annie walked right up and showed him her finger. “I got a Band-Aid.”
He held her little palm in his and examined her finger closely. “My goodness! What happened?”
“I don’t remember.”
Jay couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing. “You don’t?”
“Annie likes bandages, I’m afraid,” Emma said. “To her, it’s a cure for most anything.”
Jay was about to nod when Annie surprised him and crawled onto his lap. Immediately, a feeling of warm protectiveness settled deep inside him. William had recently informed Jay that he was too old to be cuddled. Jay supposed it was true. But as Annie rested her head against his chest, Jay felt a warm surge of affection flow through him. Having Annie be so trusting of him made him want to shield her from the rest of the world and make her happy all the time. He wrapped an arm around her so she wouldn’t fall.
Annie turned her head and gazed up at him, her blue eyes seeming to take in every line and wrinkle on his face.
“You okay?” he asked.
She nodded, then said, “Your beard is short.”
Her statement was so blunt—and so out of the blue—he couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Annie!” Emma cried. “You mustn’t be rude.”
“It’s not rude if it’s true,” Jay replied as both Mandy and Lena stepped closer. “I trimmed most of it six months ago. I, uh, needed that symbolism, I think,” he said quietly as he met Emma’s eye. Men grew beards after they married. Most never trimmed them. But in the days after Evelyn’s death, he’d felt it was a symbol of something he’d lost. In a moment of weakness he’d trimmed it close. Now, in the Florida heat, he’d elected to keep it short. It was too hot otherwise.
“I understand,” Emma murmured.
“Do you like peanut butter?” Mandy asked.
He blinked. “Yes?”
“Oh.” She frowned as Annie crawled off his lap.
Confused, Jay looked at Emma. “Did I say the wrong thing?”
“Not at all.” Emma shook her head. “Mandy is allergic to peanuts and peanut butter so she doesn’t like to be around it.”
“I’ll make sure I don’t keep any around.”
“That’s not necessary,” Emma said.
“How about I’ll make sure none of us eat it when you are around?” he said to Mandy.
Emma smiled. “Danke.”
“Daed, can we go out and wait for Mark and Ben?” William asked, obviously bored with the concerns of little girls.
“As long as you stay near the front porch,” he said just as the kids ran out.
And then he and Emma were alone.
Suddenly, he was tongue-tied. Should he say anything about how he’d heard from Ben and Tricia that she was going courting? He ached to have it out in the open so they could both laugh at the idea of such a thing . . . and so she wouldn’t discover somehow that he’d known her intentions but never let on.
But for the life of him, he couldn’t think of a way to tell her without embarrassing her. Getting to his feet, he said, “I squeezed some lemons and made lemonade. Would you care for some?”
“Please,” she said. “I guess you had to learn to make all kinds of things after Evelyn passed on to heaven.”
“I did. But she was ill for a long time before that, too.” He pulled out the ice tray from his freezer and put several cubes in each glass. “Growing boys need to eat.”
She tilted her head to one side, as she watched him pour. “Did your family not help you?”
“They did. Though, to be honest, they wanted to do more than I let them. I didn’t want them to always be in the house. I needed control, you see. Taking care of my boys let me pretend that I had some control of the situation, though of course Evelyn’s fate had always been in God’s hands.” Handing her a glass, he said, “I love my family but I needed space, too. I guess that’s another reason why the boys and I moved to Florida.”
“I understand.” Emma frowned. “But I’ve never been quite brave enough to refuse my family’s offers of help. Or Sanford’s. They are around all the time.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a blessing.”
“It is,” she said slowly. “And it was. But now I feel like I’m not really very independent. What’s more, I don’t think they want me to be.”
“I’m sure God will help you find the right way to extricate yourself. Or not. Everyone moves at their own pace, I think.”
Her blue eyes widened and Jay stared back, thinking what a pretty shade they were. A true blue, not veering toward gray or brown or green. Her eyes were slightly almond shaped, too.
She set her glass down on the kitchen countertop. “Jay, I’m afraid I have a confession to make.”
He set his glass down, too. “What is it?”
“Well, I had a talk with Ben and Tricia this afternoon. And for some reason—I’m not rightly sure how—we started talking about their engagement and courting and then, well, me courting.”
Her last words were so hesitantly spoken, so very embarrassed sounding, he stepped closer and gently ran one calloused finger along her knuckles. “I wasna going to tell you, but Ben and Tricia told me about that conversation.”
“They told you?” she squeaked.
“They did. They were excited about the idea, you see.”
She closed her eyes. “I’m so embarrassed. If I keep my eyes closed, can we pretend I’m not here?”
He chuckled. “Not a chance.”
“Couldn’t you try real hard?”
“Nope. Because I’m glad you’re here, you see.” In for a penny, in for a pound. “I was glad to hear what Tricia and Ben told me.”
Her eyes popped open again. “You were?”
“Jah. I’m proud of you for being braver than me.”
“I wasna brave.”
“You were.” Taking a deep breath, he said, “Emma, if you came over here just so your girls could say hello to my boys, that is fine with me. We will always enjoy your company and friendship. But . . .” His voice drifted off. He was warring between being as honest and brave as she had been and guarding his heart.
“But?” she prompted.
“If you really did come over because you’d like us to be closer in an . . . um, romantic way? If you’d like to see whether there could be a relationship between us—us as in you and me—I have to tell you that makes me really happy.”
“It does?” Wonder lit her voice.
As Jay nodded, he realized that he was telling the absolute truth. “There’s something about you that makes me want to know you better, Emma. And it has nothing to do with the fact that we have had similar experiences with losing a spouse. It has to do with how kind you are. With the way you love that hund of yours, even though he has to be the worst-behaved beagle in history. It has to do with the way that you brought over supper and didn’t expect even my thanks in return.”
Lowering his voice, he reached out and took one of her hands. “And it also has something to do with the fact that you have the prettiest blue eyes I’ve ever seen in my life. And that I think all of you is just as pretty.”
In that moment, he felt as vulnerable as he’d ever been. Actually, Jay felt more fragile and uncertain than Ben probably had ever felt around Tricia, more hesitant than he’d ever felt around Evelyn. Funny how life’s experiences made one wiser but also made one realize just how fragile the heart was. Now that he knew about loss, and knew how fleeting happiness could be, he was far more hesitant to put himself at risk.
She blinked again and smiled. “So you are sayin’ coming over was the right decision?”
“The very best. But from now on, I think I would like to do the calling and courting. I may be rusty but I’d like to give it a try.”
She giggled, a light, girlish sound that lit up his kitchen. “That’s a deal.”
Outside, the children were chattering up a storm—it was obvious that Ben, Mark, and Tricia had returned—but inside the kitchen, under the pale glow of a kerosene lamp, there was only a thick silence.
Jay was so struck by what had just taken place between them, he had to force himself to remain in the here and now. Otherwise he would be too tempted to reflect how one day had changed things completely for him.
As they stared at each other, the air was warm with the intangible heat of their new awareness. Emma’s lips were slightly parted, her cheeks flushed. In the dim light, she looked as young as Tricia and just as hopeful and naïve. The sight before him made him want to pick her up and twirl her around and make a dozen promises about how he would always make her happy.
Though his mouth had suddenly become dry, he said, “Emma, may I take you out to supper on Friday night? Just the two of us?”
“You may.”
“I’ll come get you at six o’clock?”
As if she was too overcome to talk, she nodded.
He was pleased. Really pleased. He reached out, needing to touch her, needing to skim a finger over her lightly flushed cheeks . . . when the back door opened and a pack of kids came roaring inside.
Instantly, the subtle tension dissipated into happy smiles and teenaged needs. Quiet had ended, replaced by talking and laughter, chattering and interruptions. Noisy boots on the hardwood floor, the clattering of bags on chairs and tables.
Life with children. Something that was just as precious to their lives as hope and romance and quiet moments filled with shy flirting.
“Emma, I’m mighty glad you came over,” Mark fairly called out over the din. “Any chance you brought us some cookies?”
“As a matter of fact, I did,” she teased. “I brought all of you lots of them.”
As Jay watched Emma hand Mark a cookie from a plastic container before passing them out to all the kids, he stood to one side and smiled.
He had a date with the prettiest girl in Pinecraft on Friday night.
He felt like the luckiest guy in town.