I don’t quite understand why you are making so many place mats, Emma,” her mother said a week later. As she slid her scissors through another layer of checkered fabric, she frowned. “Twelve seems excessive.”
Glad she was facing her treadle sewing machine, Emma rolled her eyes. Her mother knew exactly why Emma wanted to have such a large set of place mats. She simply didn’t want to think of Emma, Jay, and all their kinner sharing a meal together.
“Muder, we’ve discussed this already.”
“No, we haven’t. Not really. Daed and I told you that we thought you were jumping into a relationship far too quickly. You refused to listen.”
Thinking again about how much her mother’s lack of faith in her had hurt, and how she hadn’t even tried to temper her words before Emma’s date with Jay, Emma knew that as far as her parents were concerned this would always be moving too fast. She hadn’t even bothered to tell them about the two other dates she’d been on with Jay in the last week. There had been no need, since Ben and Tricia had volunteered to babysit at the farm.
“I listened, Mamm. I simply didn’t agree.”
“So you’ve decided to make place mats to prove me wrong.”
“Nee, Mamm. I decided to make a set of place mats because I want to make place mats. If I want to serve a meal on them to Jay and his boys, I’ll do that, too.”
“Why are you making twelve?”
Emma was just irritated enough to give her mother a little jab. “I had hoped that maybe you and Daed would one day want to join us. Maybe even Tricia. Maybe even all sorts of people.”
“Perhaps you would like me to leave?”
“I would love for you to stay if you are ready to apologize. If not, then jah, it might be best if you went on your way.”
When Emma heard her mother’s chair scoot back, she bit her lip to try to stay tough. But inside, her heart was aching. She truly didn’t want to have to choose between her parents and Jay. Especially not when their grandchildren were involved.
But instead of walking out the door, her mother walked to her side. “Emma, you know I don’t like arguing with you. However, I simply cannot help but think you are making a mistake.”
Emma turned to face her. “Why?”
“You are forgetting yourself. You already have been married. You were married to a gut man who loved you. You had a nice life with him.”
“I know all of that. Don’t you think I knew how blessed I was to have Sanford?”
“Then why would you even think of trying to replace your husband? God doesn’t give you two mates in life, dear. You are setting yourself up for heartbreak.”
“Mamm, I need you to try and see my point of view. I will always honor Sanford’s memory, but he is gone! Jay is a gut man, too. I need you to wish me well. Or, if you can’t do that, at least promise me that you’ll at least try.”
As her mother stared at her, little by little, all the love that she’d always shown Emma glimmered in her eyes. “I will try,” she said at last. “Because I love you, I will start to try.”
“Danke, Mamm. I love you, too.”
After giving Emma a quick hug, her mother muttered something about the time, picked up her purse, and walked out the door. Emma went to the window and watched her mother walk slowly down Kaufmann Avenue, her head bent. She looked sad.
Crossing her arms over her chest, Emma expected to feel justified and pleased that her mother had finally listened. Instead, she felt more confused than ever. Though she knew Jay was a wonderful man, a small part of her wondered if her mother had been right. Was it too much to ask for two successful relationships? Was she foolish to expect Jay to ever love her like he’d loved his first wife? Could she herself ever fall in love again?
Turning away from the window, she looked at the remains of the project she’d started. Though her mother hadn’t liked the task, she’d dutifully cut out the rest of the fabric. It was now arranged neatly on one corner of the table. Two completed place mats were on the arm of her couch. Scraps of fabric and thread littered the table and the floor near her sewing machine.
It all kind of looked like how her life felt: in disarray.
Maybe it was time to slow things down. Just to make sure she wasn’t making a terrible mistake, that she hadn’t simply latched on to Jay and his sons because she’d been so lonely.
Her eyes stung as she quietly folded the extra fabric, gathered the scraps and completed place mats, and stuffed them all in the sack from the fabric store. Then, before she could change her mind, she walked to her bedroom and shoved the sack under her bed.
Out of sight.
Only later did she realize that although she had indeed put it all out of sight, she had also opted to keep it close at hand.
AS HE APPROACHED EMMA’S house, Jay felt a hum of anticipation that he now understood went hand in hand with his visits to her. He was anxious to see the Keim girls. He missed Annie’s hugs, Mandy’s tentative smiles, and Lena’s shy welcomes. He missed Emma’s pretty face and sweet nature. Most of all, he’d missed the way he now only felt whole when they were nearby—each had truly taken a piece of him.
It was amazing how quickly the change had taken place . . . though maybe not.
Another two weeks had gone by but, as far as Jay was concerned, it might as well have been two hours. He was slowly discovering that planning a wedding took far more work for the father of the groom than he’d originally thought.
It was also far more nerve-wracking than he’d imagined it would be.
When he and Evelyn had gotten married, he’d been filled with the surety that what they were doing was the right thing. He’d been eager to have Evelyn by his side for the rest of his life. To be honest, he’d been looking forward to a lot of things about being married.
Now, as the groom’s father, though he rejoiced in his son’s happiness, he couldn’t help but worry about Ben and Tricia. A dozen questions continually floated through his mind: Were they too young? Had they known each other long enough? Were they compatible enough to withstand the hundreds of little adjustments that came with married life? Had they considered those pesky things called patience and compromise?
Jay simply wasn’t sure.
Though he was relieved that they’d visited with the bishop and the preachers several times. Jay figured if the leaders of their church hadn’t insisted that they wait longer to speak their vows, then their discussions must have been going well.
He had also been delighted to discover that he had much in common with Edward and Kathleen Overholt. He’d found Tricia’s parents to be faithful, kind to their daughter, and a lot of fun, too.
After that first awkward hour, which had involved several minutes of cautious conversation, they’d settled in and ended up having a good time. They had enjoyed the following two evenings as well when they’d begun playing Rook, which had allowed the two families to spend time together without fumbling for conversation. Little by little, Tricia had come out of her shell and Ben had gained his confidence. It soon became obvious that the young couple knew what they were doing.
The night before Edward and Kathleen were to leave, Beverly had invited everyone over to the inn for supper. She’d made a beautiful buffet and served it outside on her back patio. She and Tricia had even strung up white lights around the porch.
It was an evening of fun and laughter. The food had been delicious, but spending time with family and friends had been even better. He’d especially enjoyed watching his eldest fuss over Tricia and become friends with her parents. He’d also liked watching Beverly and her brother. She’d seemed to relish the family time even more than Ben and Tricia.
Now, the wedding preparations were in full swing and just this week Jay had opened the market full-time. Life was busy and full and rich with new experiences—including the knowledge that it had been a very good decision to follow the Lord’s plan and relocate to Sarasota.
The only area he wasn’t sure about was his relationship with Emma. He liked her—he liked her a lot—but he also knew that being “in like” wasn’t enough to build a relationship.
Furthermore, she seemed to be having some of the same misgivings. She’d canceled the last date they’d planned, citing that she needed to be home with the girls. Perhaps that was true. But he also wondered if there was more to it. Which was why he’d told Ben that he would be the one to get William from Emma’s house that afternoon. He wanted to spend some time with Emma and gauge how she was feeling about him.
They were all in the backyard when he arrived, and Frankie alerted the girls to his approach with a happy howl.
“Who’s here, Frankie?” Mandy asked. Then, when she spied Jay, she opened the gate and rushed to him.
“Mandy, don’t leave the backyard!” Emma cried.
“I’m not leaving. I’m lettin’ Jay in,” she called back, then looked up at him happily. “Hiya, Jay.”
Jay knelt down to give Mandy a little hug. “Hello, Miss Mandy. How are you?”
She giggled. “I’m gut. We went on a walk today at school.”
“That sounds like fun. Where did you go?”
“To Yoder’s. A lady there showed us how they make pies.” Her pretty smile turned into a bright, blinding grin. “And guess what?”
“What?” he asked, unable to keep from mirroring her excited expression.
“We got to have pie, too!”
“That sounds mighty special,” he said as he led her into the backyard. “What kind of pie did you have?”
“Peach.”
“Yum.”
“Uh-huh.” She smiled again. “It was yummy.” Then she let go of his hand and ran to where William and Lena were climbing on Emma’s small jungle gym.
And that, Jay decided, was the difference between little girls and boys: His boys would have simply shared that they’d had pie at school and been done with it. But for little girls like Mandy? A walk to Yoder’s, followed by a slice of peach pie?
It was very big news, indeed.
Spying Emma kneeling next to Annie on the ground he walked over to say hello. “What’s going on here?” he asked as he noticed they were both peering into a plastic sand pail.
“We found a frog, Jay,” Annie said. “I’m going to keep him forever.”
After peeking at the little green frog sitting rather forlornly at the bottom of the pail, he teased, “Is that right? Are you hoping he will turn into a prince?”
“Nee. I just want him to be a frog. He likes being a frog, I think.” She looked so intent and serious and sweet that it took everything he had not to press his lips to her brow. Each time he was around Lena, Mandy, and Annie, it seemed that they let him into their hearts just a little bit more. And as they became more comfortable with him, he felt more comfortable reaching out to each of them.
When he turned to Emma, her expression was soft . . . and a touch guarded. He was glad he’d decided to stop by.
“What brings you here this afternoon?” she asked.
He knew he needed to be as honest and direct as possible. “I wanted to get William, but I also wanted to see you, too. I think we need to talk, Emma.”
“Now isn’t a good time.”
He knew she was hoping he’d nod and retreat, but he was pretty sure that giving her more time was not the answer. “How about in five minutes then?”
“Five?”
“Come on, Emma. Don’t make me beg.”
Her eyes widened in that cute way he had come to realize was a mixture of happiness and shyness. He found it endearing that a woman like her, who’d had a rich married life and three daughters, could still be as sweetly shy as she was.
“All right. We’ll talk. Annie, dear, go play with your sisters for a few minutes, ’kay? I need to visit with Mr. Jay for a minute.”
“Okay, Mommy,” she said as she trotted off to Mandy’s side.
Jay smiled at Annie’s retreating back. “She listened to you right away. That’s impressive.”
Emma chuckled. “It doesn’t happen all that often, though my Annie is the most agreeable of my girls.” She looked as if she was about to add something more about her daughters, but she swallowed instead. “So . . .”
“So, I wanted to make sure I hadn’t done anything to upset you the last time we went out.”
“You mean when we went out for ice cream?”
He nodded. Because it had been a school night, he and Emma had simply gone for a walk to Olaf’s for ice cream while Tricia and Ben watched the girls. Mark had stayed back at the farm with William. Ever since he’d said good night to her, Jay had been replaying everything they’d done and said, but no offenses came to mind.
“You haven’t seemed as open the last couple of times we’ve talked,” he said. “I may be overthinking things, but I wanted to hear what you had to say.”
After glancing at the children again, she nodded. “You’re right. I’ve been having second thoughts about us.”
Her explanation was surprisingly painful to hear. “What did I do?”
“Oh, goodness, Jay. It isn’t you. It’s me. I, well, I’ve been worried that maybe we’ve been rushing into things.”
“I see.” Of course, he really didn’t. Though he had been honest about his feelings toward her, Jay had made a concerted effort not to push Emma. He’d been careful not to talk about the future. He certainly hadn’t done anything more than hold her hand.
“I had another conversation with my mother,” she added. “She reminded me that I might be asking for too much.”
“What were you asking for?”
She shrugged but didn’t meet his eyes. “You know. To have another relationship.”
“Emma, surely you don’t imagine that the Lord wants you to live the rest of your life as a widow?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you think He wants you to be alone? I thought all of us being together made you happy.”
She blinked. “It did. I mean, it does.”
“Then why isn’t that enough? Why can’t we simply be happy for now . . . and let the future take care of itself?”
“Do you think that is possible?”
He nodded. “Isn’t that what happens anyway? I was happy with Evelyn and you were happy with Sanford. But they both got sick. How would you feel if you had spent all your time with Sanford doubting yourself or wondering if you deserved your time with him?”
“I would regret it.”
“I’m going to regret it if you give up on us,” he admitted. “Please don’t give up on us yet.”
She stared at him for what seemed like an eternity. Then, at last, she nodded. “All right, Jay. You win. I won’t give up on us.”
Only then did he release the lungful of air he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding.