For some reason, even though they’d spent the entire day together, Tricia was pretty sure that Ben was still trying to think of ways to delay their return to the Orange Blossom Inn. First, he’d insisted they go for an extra long walk on the beach at Siesta Key. Then he’d taken her to a charming restaurant for fried shrimp instead of merely grabbing a quick bite at one of the many shacks offering snacks and hot dogs. Now, as they were walking back to the inn, he’d slowed their pace even more. She didn’t mind since she wasn’t in any hurry to return, either.
But she was becoming a little curious as to why he was practically jumping at any chance to delay their walk back.
“Would you like to go get an ice cream?” He pointed over at Olaf’s.
Tricia hugged her stomach and frowned. “I can’t eat another thing.”
“Oh.”
“It was a gut idea, though.” Smiling, she tilted her head up to meet his gaze. “I’d say yes if I hadn’t already had a hot fudge sundae today. And a plate of fried shrimp.”
“Those shrimp were good.”
“They were great,” she corrected. Suddenly concerned that she hadn’t conveyed just how much she’d enjoyed their time together, she reached out and squeezed his forearm. “Everything today has been wonderful-gut, Ben. I promise.”
“Jah, it was.” He smiled back at her, but she noticed that it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Would you like to walk around Pinecraft?” she asked. “There’s a couple of benches over in front of the Palm Grove church.”
“You don’t mind?”
“Not at all. I’m not ready to go back yet.”
“I’m not, either. I don’t want today to end.”
“Me, neither,” she said and pointed to a group of little Amish girls, all four of them holding hands as they skipped behind their mothers. “Look, Ben. Aren’t they cute?”
He chuckled. “Jah. They remind me of Emma and her trio of little ones.”
Tricia sighed contentedly. Their conversation came so easily, it was just the kind of thing she’d always wished and dreamed she would have. It was nice to relax and talk about nothing in particular.
As they crossed the street, dodging a man on a bright red bicycle, Ben added, “I’m really looking forward to having my own room once we move into our new house, but it’s going to be hard to not see you all the time.”
“I was just thinking that I was going to miss seeing you around the inn. I was going to mention it earlier, but I didn’t want to sound too forward,” she admitted as they continued their journey down Bahia Vista before turning right on Orchard.
“You shouldn’t worry. I’m not going to think you are too forward. I like your honesty.”
“I’m glad.” She pressed her lips together so she wouldn’t start telling him how most people found her to be a bit too blunt and outspoken.
Now that they were off the main street and the area was far quieter, Ben began walking a little closer to her side. Tricia felt her stomach flutter. Suddenly, it felt as if they were very alone, and she realized that this was the first time they’d been that way. It made her giddy and nervous, all at the same time. She didn’t want to do or say the wrong thing. She clasped her hands tightly together so she wouldn’t accidentally grab hold of his arm.
Ben noticed. “Hey, you’re looking a little tense. Are you all right?”
“Oh, jah. I am fine.” After all, what else could she say?
“You sure?” After a pause, he blurted, “Am I pushing you too much? I haven’t been serious about a girl before. I don’t really know what I’m doing.”
“You’re not pushing too much.”
“Then what is it?”
She didn’t know how to admit how insecure she felt. And because of that, she took a step away. “Here’s the church,” she announced, her voice just a little bit too bright. “It’s pretty, isn’t it?”
Ben looked around. Shrugged. “It’s nice,” he said at last.
She walked over and sat down on one of the benches. Then, knowing that she had to take a chance and admit her feelings, too, she added, “Ben, I don’t know what I’m doing, either.”
He didn’t bother to hide his relief. “That’s gut news.”
“Every time I think I know what you’re going to say, you say the unexpected. I’m starting to learn that you are good at taking me by surprise.” She chuckled. “You are definitely keeping me on my toes.”
He sat down on the edge of the next bench, so he was angled toward her. “I don’t mean to,” he said with a wry look. “Like I said, I don’t have much experience with relationships.”
“I don’t, either.” After all, her only experience had involved writing notes about a boy she’d had a crush on then having some so-called friends show them to everyone. “But I think we’re doing all right.”
“You know what? I think we are, too.”
“We’re certainly sharing a lot with each other.” Tricia smiled.
But Ben didn’t look so confident. “Actually, I think we’ve talked a lot about me. About how I felt losing my mother, and how hard it’s been to step in and try to be there for my brothers.”
“I’m glad you shared your feelings, Ben.”
He continued, just as if he hadn’t heard her. “I think I spent an hour telling you about how we all decided to move here from Ohio.” He rolled his eyes. “I think I repeated every conversation that took place at our kitchen table.”
Because he looked so apprehensive, she said, “We can talk about it more, if you’d like.”
“No, that’s not what I’m getting at.”
“Then, what?”
“I want to talk about you for a change.”
She started. “I told you that there wasn’t anything all that interesting about me. I needed a change and so I moved down here to be with my aunt.”
“I think there was more to it.” He gazed at her steadily. “Actually, I know there was.”
“Okay, there was, but it’s not important.”
“Tricia, I’m going to be honest. I like you. I like you a whole lot. But I’m starting to feel like you are holding something back.”
His words were painful to hear. They were also true. But still, she hedged. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“Just talk to me. Why do you insist on keeping your past a secret? Tricia, why did you move?”
Before she could begin her explanation, he added, “It’s okay if you have had relationships before. You are a few years older than me, after all. Did you get in a fight with your boyfriend or something?”
“Ben, I was telling you the truth. I really don’t have a lot of experience dating. I didn’t leave Ohio because of a boy. Not directly, anyway.”
“Then, why? Did you not get along with your mamm? I’m pulling at straws here.”
“I got along with her fine.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “We’re not real close, but that doesn’t mean we’re not close at all. Or we don’t get along.”
When he stared at her long and hard, Tricia knew she had to swallow her pride and tell him the whole truth. “Ben, the truth is I did something dumb and everyone found out about it.”
“That’s it?” He looked disappointed.
“Jah.” Of course, the way she’d been dancing around the topic had to have made him think she was harboring some dark, terrible secret. Pushing herself a bit, she continued. “I wrote something dumb about a guy I liked. Something I never should have put to paper. Something I never should have shown anyone else. Have you ever done anything dumb like that?” she asked hesitantly. “Have you ever made a stupid decision that you regretted almost the instant it happened?”
“I have two younger brothers. Of course I’ve done and said stupid stuff.” He smiled. “My mother used to say that kinner make mistakes all the time and that’s why they live with their parents for years and years.”
“My stupid notes caught the attention of a couple of mean girls who made things worse. No matter where I went I was teased.” Her voice cracked. “A lot. It happened for a long time. Months.” She winced, hating to remember all the unkind words her girlfriends had said to her and how one of her friends had completely lied about the things she’d done.
He blinked as he finally understood. “You were bullied.”
She nodded. “Most people think bullying only happens between boys with their fists, but it happens between girls, too, with rumors and gossip. It was horrible.” Swiping her cheek, she continued to pour out her heart. “I got depressed. Really depressed. I knew I had to get away.”
“And so you came down here.”
“Yep. I took all the money I’d saved, even borrowed some of my mother’s grocery money, and got on a Pioneer Trails bus without telling anyone.” She blew out a ragged sigh. “Well, now you know my secret. Aren’t you glad you asked?”
He got to his feet. “I am.”
“You are?” She didn’t even try to hide her surprise.
He reached down, grasped her hand, and pulled her to her feet. “Uh-huh.” When she was standing, he reached for her other hand, then linked their fingers together.
“What should we do now?”
“Well, I have an idea. But it’s a little scary,” he teased. “You can always say no if you want.”
She stared at him, wide-eyed. “What do you want to do?”
He tugged on her hands, pulling her closer. “Give you a hug.”
“What?”
“I want to hold you for a minute, Tricia. Is that okay with you?”
They were standing so close to each other that her dress was brushing against his shirt and trousers. Close enough that Tricia knew Ben could lean down and brush his lips against hers. If he wanted.
So close that she could see the small flecks of brown dotting the blue of his eyes. Saw the faint scar on the corner of his lip.
“You can hold me, Ben. I you want to.”
He didn’t delay another second. Ben wrapped his arms around Tricia and held her close.
After a few seconds, she relaxed against him. After surviving so many very dark days over the last year, God, at last, had given her a blindingly bright one.
It was the best day ever.