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Less than an hour later, I follow Gary through a busy warehouse. Pallets of boxes are stacked to ceiling height in a vast shelving system, and the insistent beeping of numerous forklifts reversing reverberates off the metallic walls. The workers take zero notice of us.
We’re walking for several minutes before Gary navigates down a short corridor and pushes open a heavy fire-resistant door for me to walk through. Several pairs of eyes turn my way. That, I was expecting. The knife that appears at my throat, I was not. I don’t get a chance to react or feel anything before an order is barked and I’m freed.
“Stand down. That’s Hunter.”
Davey steps forward, blocking my way. “What are you doing here?” he asks Gary, his eyes flicking back to mine. I’m still trying to locate my voice.
“Dan contacted Hunter. Directly.”
“I know,” Davey’s voice has dropped several octaves to gravelly as he stares at me.
“They’re due to meet. In person.”
“Let him in, Captain. We’re all dying to meet him.” Davey’s nose twitches and he steps backwards.
“Play nice now.” Davey smirks as he sidesteps and I get my first look at command centre. And a team of special ops who look like they want my blood.
“So.” The same guy steps forward. I recognise his voice. His body language is relaxed. Casual even. But his eyes tell a different story. “You’re him?” He sniffs and circles me. I tilt my head, watching his progress. “Y’know...I was all for shooting your balls off.”
“Sid,” Davey warns.
“I’m just telling him straight, Captain. I don’t like him.”
“You don’t like him because Eva does.” Davey’s eyebrows jump, inviting a comeback.
“No. I don’t like him because when she finds out who he is, she won’t like him. She’ll hate him in fact. I don’t like that he’s lying to her.”
“You don’t like that he’s in her bed.” A latecomer laughs as he enters from another door. When he catches Davey’s eye, his head drops. “Sorry, Cap.”
“Watch your mouth!” a deeper, older voice growls. “That girl is like a daughter to me.”
“I’m sorry, sir. I apologise.” My eyes seek out the gruffer voice as the latecomer goes quiet and pale. The guy I recognise as the Commander comes into view. He has a walking stick that he looks at with loathing.
“Take a seat, Hunter,” he instructs, tapping the leg of a chair with a metallic clink-clink from his walking stick. “And you can explain to me what the fuck you thought you were doing when you went to meet with Daniel De Luca. Alone and unarmed.”
I take a deep breath, signalling my body to relax. That’s not something it’s willing to do in a room full of special ops soldiers who clearly love Eva and would gladly shoot my balls off. I look directly at Davey as I sit, surrounded. “I’m going to ask Eva to marry me.”
The collective intake of breath lifts the papers on the desk. And I stop breathing.
All eyes go to Davey. His nose twitches as he stares silently at me. He tilts his head back, sending his gaze to the ceiling.
When he looks at me again, his face is softer. “Can I trust you to protect her? Believe me when I tell you she’s hard work. She’s as stubborn as they come, and even God won’t be able to help you if she thinks you’re trying to tell her how to live her life.”
“I’ll protect her from anything.”
“There’s no way on Earth I’m missing her wedding. But we’re not home and dry. I can’t break cover.”
“I have to tell her. Everything.”
“You do,” Davey agrees. “Everything. But not yet.”
“Why does she still have to think you’re dead?” I don’t understand.
“Because if you tell her. If you tell her and she believes you, which I sincerely doubt, but if you decided you’d prove it, she wouldn’t leave my side. I can’t protect anyone like that. It would put the entire op and everyone working it in danger. There’s no way around it. I wish there were. God knows I can’t wait to give her a cuddle. To have tea with Mum. To take my niece to the park. But if I do any of those things, I’m leaving us all exposed. We’re too close to balls it all up now.”
“Can we get back to the ‘he wants to marry our girl’ bit, please!” Sid says. “The answer is no, right?”
Our girl? Huh.
“Sid, he just went to meet De Luca. Alone and unarmed. I think he’s being serious,” some other bloke pipes up, squeezing a yellow stress ball in his hand.
“Well, I vote no. No fucking way,” Sid huffs, crossing his massive arms like a sulky child.
“I didn’t ask your opinion,” Davey replies calmly. He turns his attention back to me. “She’s still married. Technically.”
“When I meet De Luca, I’ll hand deliver the divorce papers.” Davey’s nose twitches again.
“You’ll tell her about your involvement with De Luca first. If she still wants to know you after that, that’s her choice.”
“Not. A. Chance,” Sid scoffs.
“Can we all act like grownups for thirty minutes, boys, and come up with an actual fucking plan here?” the Commander growls. “De Luca is smart. He asked Hunter to meet him in a crowded civilian area. At rush hour. Tailing him would have been impossible if we had been there, and if he had shown up. He could be fairly confident that even if we had been there, we couldn’t get a sniper on him. Too crowded. We can expect him to exercise the same caution when he crawls out from the rock he’s hiding under.”
Davey nods. “We’re going to have to tail him. Get him alone. We won’t be able to take him out on civi street.”
“He’ll likely have scouts keeping an eye out for any interested parties,” Gary says ominously.
“We’ll run interference. Send them on a wild goose chase.” Sid smiles, unconcerned.
“And then we could use a decoy,” I suggest. “Gary is practically identical to his brother. They’d have to get in pretty close to realise their mistake. Send them to the wrong location and it’ll take them a while to figure it out.”
Everyone looks at Gary. After a few beats, he nods.
“I think we have the makings of a plan.” Davey nods and pushes to his feet. “Now, get outta here, and call me when he contacts you.”
I can still hear Sid grumbling as Gary and I head for the door.
“Seriously? You’d let him marry Eva? But not me?”
I turn on the threshold, as the door swings closed, and catch a glimpse of Davey patting the shoulder of the aggravated soldier scowling at me.
***
As I crawl into bed later that night, having hashed things out with Gary for several more hours, Eva is already asleep. In my bed. A deep, exhausted sigh flows from my chest as I hook an arm around her waist and pull her body into mine. Sleep sucks me under like a whirlpool.
––––––––
When I wake the following morning, Eva is creeping around the bedroom, quietly opening drawers in the half light.
“Hey,” I greet her.
“Hey. Sorry. I tried not to wake you.”
“What are you doing up?” I glance at the clock—04:45 a.m.
“It’s party day!” She grins excitedly as she saunters over to the bed. “Your daughter is officially four.” Her smile softens and leans down to drop a kiss on my lips.
“Hmm,” I agree. My hand creeps out from beneath the duvet to her waist and travels lazily over her bum, down her thigh...“Whoa!”
“What?” Eva straightens up, startled. I jump out of bed and hold her at arm’s length, my eyes going directly to her bare legs.
“No. God no. Are you trying to kill me?”
“What?” she asks, confused while glancing down at her short denim shorts.
“Eva, you can’t...where the hell are your jeans?”
“Will!” She laughs. “It’s going to be bloody boiling today. I’m not wearing jeans.”
“You’re not wearing those!” My voice is rising to panicked tones. She’ll cause a bloody brawl in those. And I’ll probably start it.
“I really am. I don’t own any others.” She turns away, unconcerned by my meltdown.
“We can go buy you some. As soon as the shops open...” My voice is too high, my words rushed and joined together. Eva turns back to face me.
“You don’t like them?” she asks, glancing down again.
“I bloody love them. And so will every other man here.” I groan as I fall back onto the bed.
She smiles softly as she walks towards me, her hips swaying in a seduction of their own. She climbs onto the bed and straddles my body. “But you’re the only man in the world who gets to do this.” She takes my hands and curls them around the backs of her legs, just above her bent knees, and glides them up, over her satin-soft skin to the hem of the bloody shorts, and then an inch higher to her bum.
“They’re growing on me,” I admit.
I push against her bum, bringing her forward, and sit up quickly. Her startled gasp makes me smile and I take her mouth as my hands move around her waist to undo the button.
***
“Now you can think about that instead when you look at the bloody shorts,” Eva teases as she pulls the tiny scraps of denim up and buttons them.
“I will.”
“And now I’m running late.” She tries to sound annoyed but it’s not working. “I have things to do. These parties don’t happen by magic, y’know.”
I watch her walk out the door before I lie back with my fingers laced behind my head, a stupid grin on my face.
It’s true. Every man here will be looking. But it’s also true that I’m the only man who gets to do that. I want to be the only man who ever gets to do that.
I reach over to my bedside table and open the top drawer. After a quick rummage, my fingers touch the velvet box at the back. My gran’s ring.
Maybe I could ask her today? But she’s not free to say yes. Yet.
My brain whispers that she wouldn’t want me. That no one really wants me. Not even your mother. I squash the thought quickly but I know I have to start bringing her closer to the real me. I have to tell her about my past, if not my present.
––––––––
A family birthday breakfast is a brand-new thing to me. And I love it. Eva asked Mary to take charge of it as a separate mini event for cards and presents. I can tell by the proud look on Mary’s kind face that she appreciates the gesture as we all sit on a picnic blanket on the back lawn, just outside the French windows, in the morning sun.
Mae is so excited. She and Summer have been up for hours and are already dressed in their party ware Eva picked out for them.
They look adorable in matching outfits.
They look like sisters.
I glance over at Eva, kneeling on the blanket between the girls and gathering up discarded wrapping paper. Mary catches my eye and smiles. I smile back and raise my glass of orange juice. “Thank you, Mary. That was wonderful.”
All of my girls jump in to agree, and Mary flushes with pride.
“Now, monkeys, I have to run. I’ll come get you in a bit.” Eva springs to her feet and practically jogs away, her hands full of colourful scraps.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay if I head off for a while?” Mary asks as we watch the girls run inside to play with the new toys.
“Of course. You do what you need to do.” Mary presses her lips together and nods before she turns and heads for her car, and I plaster on a smile as the early bird party guests start trickling into the hotel.
I expected as much. Some people are just plain nosy. Others are just plain desperate, I think as I watch one woman scurrying towards me, her eyes raking over my body. I look forward to introducing them all to my girl.
***
My patience has been severely tested in the course of the last few hours. My own staff are on thin ice with the way they’re looking at Eva. But the bloody guests are beginning to grate. You would never know most of these people are married. I have some of the men’s wives giggling like school girls all over me. So much so that I’m beginning to question the minimum brain cell requirement for human survival, and the guys are sipping beer watching my girl do way more than her job.
I watch Bells rush past me with a huge tray of delicious-looking party nibbles.
“Who’s that?” one woman asks sourly.
“Bells? She’s catering the food today.” I try to smile but if it looks as forced as it feels, I may as well have scowled. “She’s very good.” I return my attention to Bells, hoping she’ll find Eva in the crowd, and she doesn’t disappoint. She runs right up to Eva and deposits the tray in front of her. Bells looks back at me, a smile creeping across her face.
My body starts to relax when I see Eva. She’s walking my way at last. And she’s had her face painted and dotted with jewels that catch the sun. “And that?” the same woman asks pointedly.
I look back at her briefly. “My girlfriend.” She whips around to study Eva, her eyes clawing up and down my girl.
“Hey! You look amazing!” I call out. She should wear jewels more often. Like an antique sapphire on her left hand. She walks towards me like Aphrodite emerging from the ocean.
“Hey.” Eva presses the whole length of her body and her lips to mine, her arms linked around my neck. Even through my jeans, it’s like I can feel the bare skin of her legs and I want them wrapped around me. I want...so much more. All of her. And I want her to want all of me.
I have to talk to her. Right now. Before I lose the nerve. I mumble the words that have Eva following me inside. Whatever it was I just said, she’s tense. Her fingers are squeezing mine tight as she takes stiff steps through the open door to our suite.
I close the door after us and turn to face her. There’s so much I want to say. So much I want to tell her, but language has deserted me. I have absolutely nothing but jumbled, disconnected words that don’t even make sense to me.
My hands tug at my hair in frustration.
Tell her! Just say it!
“My mother abandoned me. I was the product of an affair. They were both married and not to each other. My mother didn’t want me. She left me with my father, but he was still married with a son.”
Daddy? Gran says I have a brother. When can I meet him?
“So I was hidden away at my grandmother’s. A dirty little secret never to be discussed.”
Why can’t I live with you and Mum? Is he your favourite?
“That’s why, Eva. That’s why I want everyone to know you want me. I’m sorry if that makes me a selfish bastard.”
My lungs are screaming for oxygen. I take a breath that Eva cuts short with her lips on mine. “I do want you, baby. Just you.” I would really love to believe that...
“I need you, baby. I’m asking you to need me too. To trust me to take care of you. To let me love you.” Please. Please choose me.
“I need you too.” The air in my body solidifies to an immovable object, lodged in my chest, as her eyes climb slowly to mine.
“I love you, Will,” she whispers. She...? She just...said...
“You love me?” I have to check.
“I do.”
Her whispered words are like a balm to my soul. Those precious, poisonous words. The words I learned not to believe in. The words that can mean so much, or nothing at all. They can be nothing but a get-out clause to treat people like shit...or they can be...everything.
I pull her body tight against mine, melding us together and pouring all of my love and appreciation for this woman into one kiss, and then realise I can finally tell her.
“I love you so much, Eva,” I whisper, breathless but blissful, as a dazzling smile lights up her face. Christ. I love her.
“We’d better go back downstairs,” Eva says quietly against my lips, but giving me no reason to move when she kisses me more.
“We had better; my girl has organised a showstopper of a party for my angel.” I’m grinning so hard my face hurts as I take her hand and lead her back downstairs to the party she made for my daughter.
For our daughter?
***
Later that night, as I sit on the sofa, wrapped in Eva’s soothing embrace, I understand her strength a little bit more. And my weakness. Yes, I’m twice her size, but she’s so much stronger than I am.
I can’t stop the tears from falling as she rocks me, her hands on my back, her forehead against my neck, and she listens without any hint of judgment, to my recollections of the past. About my parents who abandoned me at birth and the doting grandmother who raised me. About the bullshit my father peddled to make himself feel better. About how my mother begged me to let her try. About everything that I can tell her for now.
At some point, I must have fallen asleep because when I wake, I have a blanket thrown over me, my boots at the foot of the sofa, and Eva is sleeping, curled up in the armchair. I’m exhausted. My body and mind are drained and I know my fortress walls are nothing but rubble around her feet. My girl.
I glance at the time on my phone—02:30 a.m—and notice a missed call. I leave the phone where it is to charge and scoop Eva into my arms. She stirs as I lift her. “Shh. Go back to sleep, baby. I’ve got you.”
She sighs and snuggles into my chest as I carry her through to the bedroom and lay her down to sleep. I crawl in beside her and pull the duvet up to our chins, before resting my hand on her stomach and surrendering once more to sleep.