CHAPTER 39

On Friday afternoon, Caitlin looked up to see Wyman Russell standing in her office doorway, looking handsome and professional in a black suit. She snapped shut her briefcase for what would be the last time in at least a few weeks and started toward him.

“So, the rumors are true,” he said. “You’re really doing it. Taking time off.”

“People do take vacations.” Though it was really a forced leave of absence, she was trying to stay positive.

“Not people who are going to work at my new firm with me.”

She laughed. “So that’s how it is.”

“Seriously, though, I came to put in a good word for you with your boss about what happened with Mace.”

“I appreciate that.” Caitlin reached out to touch his arm briefly, but he put his hand over hers and held it there. For a moment they stood there in the doorway, not moving or speaking. Finally, Caitlin said, “I really appreciate everything you’ve done. I just don’t know what my plans are yet.”

“I figured that.” He glanced behind him at the deserted hallway. “But I also think you’ve been avoiding me the past three weeks.”

“Your divorce isn’t final.”

“Yes, it is. That’s also why I stopped by. To let you know.”

“Oh,” she said. “That must have been tough.”

He shrugged. “It’s been going to happen for a long time now. It’s good to be able to move forward. And that brings me to . . . well, I was thinking maybe we could have dinner again.”

“Sure. That sounds good.”

He was nice and she enjoyed his company, and she had every intention of going out with him again. Yet at the same time, nothing drove her to him, no heat between them made her desperate to have him near. In fact, when Wyman wasn’t with her, she never even thought about him.

Truth was, she wanted what she’d felt with Parker. I am such a fool, she thought. In her imagination, she could still see Parker as he’d looked that last day three weeks ago. Feel his touch and how her body had reacted to his nearness.

“Who is he?” Wyman asked softly, his eyes fixed on her face. “The guy who brings that secret smile. It’s not Mace, is it?” He said this last jokingly, but his comment clearly asked her if there was any hope for him. For them.

She snorted in an unladylike manner. “Not on your life. Not if Mace were the last man on earth. It’s not anyone, or at least not anyone I can do something about. I just need time to sort my life out. It’s been a difficult few weeks.”

“Take all the time you need,” Wyman said, standing aside to let her precede him into the hallway. “My job offer will remain open for at least the next month.”

“Thank you.”

They rode down the elevator together and walked to the parking garage in a comfortable silence. She was thinking more and more about working with Wyman, and maybe eventually, when the memories of Parker had faded, there could be something more between them. She wanted a family, and if Wyman’s kindness to Amy in giving her flowers was any indication, he’d be fine with having her around.

The ache of not knowing what might have been with Parker did at times seem to be lessening. She’d begun telling herself the separation made everything seem bigger than it had been—especially the attraction between them. How could such a connection be real? Yet several times a day something would remind her of him and the emotions would rush back, taking her breath away with their forcefulness, every bit as painful as that morning when she’d awakened at her house and discovered he’d really gone.

After opening his car door, Wyman bent and kissed her on the cheek. His lips felt warm and he smelled slightly of mint. Pleasant, comforting. Why couldn’t she feel more for him? For an instant, Caitlin had the wild urge to grab him and kiss him silly to see if that would get Parker out of her mind.

Ridiculous.

She stepped away and smiled. “I have to go. I told Amy I’d be early.”

“I’ll call you, then.”

“Sounds good.” She waved as she left the parking lot.

Snow lined the streets and ice layered large portions of the road, as Utah seemed to be gearing up for record cold. Now that December had begun, Christmas lights were beginning to appear. Amy would insist on putting up lights on their house this year. Maybe Wyman would help. There would be comfort in not doing it alone.

Except why couldn’t she seem to swallow that stupid lump in her throat?

She picked up Amy and had scarcely arrived home when a messenger appeared at the door. He was a red-haired, scrawny kid with the gangly awkwardness of the teen years he hadn’t yet left behind.

“Caitlin McLoughlin?” he asked, extending an envelope.

“That’s me.” For a frightening moment, she thought he carried a subpoena that would force her to testify about what she had done in the Belstead case. With clumsy hands she opened the envelope, but inside she saw only the edge of what looked like an airline ticket. Relief flooded her. Of course this child wasn’t delivering a subpoena—pizzas would be more his style. Besides, her boss was taking control of the situation.

“What’s this?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I’m just a courier, ma’am. I pick up and take what they tell me to. There should be a note or something. We tried to deliver it yesterday morning, but no one was home, and the evening courier came down with the flu. Now if you’ll just sign here.”

Caitlin signed, all the while her hands burning to investigate the contents of the envelope. She turned from the boy as he ran out over the snowy yard, shutting the door with her hip. Slowly, she pulled out the ticket. Her name was on it.

It was a one-way ticket to Chicago. For tomorrow morning.

Chicago?

There was no accompanying note, just the ticket. Who would have sent such a thing? She hadn’t shared her dream of returning to Chicago with anyone. Except Parker.

A sudden dizziness made her reach out to steady herself on the wall. Her breath caught in her throat. It had to be him. But why? What had he to gain? He couldn’t expect that she would jump on a plane at his whim. Yet even as she thought this, hope flared bright and strong, surprising her with its strength. She’d thought she was beyond that.

It was a dated ticket. Did that mean Parker would be waiting at the other end?

Just as quickly another realization fell like a dead weight on her chest, crushing the hope from her. He’d sent her a ticket. A single ticket. What did he think—that she’d leave her career, her home, drop all her life to go on the run with him and Madison? And what about Amy? Maybe her home and job could be replaced, but he had to know she would never desert Amy.

Of course he knew, so this obviously wasn’t an invitation to enter his life. At most, it was an acknowledgement of her dream. More likely, it was a ploy to throw the police off his trail in Las Vegas where they’d tracked a vehicle they suspected he’d used to leave Utah. The ticket had probably been the cheapest available. Sobs caught in her throat. All at once the three weeks since Parker had left seemed like only three hours. Like his mother, Caitlin was apparently still waiting for him to contact her.

She opened her fingers and let the ticket fluttered to the floor. Leaving it on the carpet in the living room, she stumbled into the kitchen. She could hear the television blaring from her room where Amy was probably ensconced in the big bed, her eyes fixed on the screen.

Caitlin tried to busy herself with dinner, but her mind wouldn’t let the ticket go. What if by some weird occurrence Parker was in Chicago and planned to meet her? What would make him go there?

Or maybe he hadn’t intended her to use the ticket but had sent it only to let her know he was thinking about her. Maybe he meant her to feel grateful and nostalgic. But wouldn’t flowers have been a better choice?

Stop, she ordered herself. She wished desperately that she hadn’t shared her dream with him. The ticket was a mockery of her trust.

What hurt most of all was the knowledge that she wanted to hop on the plane and see if he was there waiting. What would it hurt? At the very least, she’d get a free trip to the city where she’d been born, even if she had to buy her own return ticket. The logical part of her mocked, saying such an idea was ludicrous. You didn’t fly hundreds of miles at the whim of a man who’d left without saying goodbye, a man you’d known less than a week. Yet part of her yearned to do just that.

What was it her boss had said about going with her gut? What was her gut saying about the ticket? About Parker? And it wasn’t as if she had anything else to do now that she was on leave.

Yet it really didn’t matter what her gut said. There was only one ticket, and that absolutely did not translate into a future. Gut feeling or no gut feeling, she would never leave Amy to use his gift, not for any extended length of time, as the one-way ticket implied. And a day notice—or two if the ticket had been delivered yesterday, wasn’t enough to plan even a short trip.

So now she was back to thinking it was meant only for a reminder of their time together. Something to put in a scrapbook and think about in her old age.

Or maybe he was mocking her. Tears started from her eyes.

Exhaustion made her mind numb and her body slow. What she needed was a good night’s sleep. Maybe she should start taking sleeping pills. Ha! Not as long as she was responsible for Amy. She tried to ignore the bitterness welling up inside her chest. Amy was her sister, and Caitlin loved her more than life. Parker was just a man. Soon she’d stop seeing him every time she shut her eyes. Soon she’d stop smelling him, remembering his kiss, how she’d laughed with him. Stop imagining lying in his arms and watching the stars in his family’s little valley in Mt. Pleasant.

Caitlin dropped her head into her hands, tears leaking between her fingers, as she replayed the events of the past weeks. Could she have done something more to convince Parker to trust her? Had he only been using her all along, hoping she’d work harder on his case if her emotions were involved? The thought made Caitlin want to curl up into a ball and cry. At this rate, never dating again was beginning to look attractive.

Amy wandered into the room. “Don’t you want these?” she asked, holding something out. “They were on the floor. Can I draw on them?” She was holding two airline tickets.

Two?

Caitlin grabbed them. Sure enough, there were two!

“I hope I didn’t ruin them,” Amy said. “They were stuck together. One’s ripped a little. I didn’t mean to rip it.”

“That’s okay.”

All at once choices stretched out before Caitlin, if not in endless combinations then at least more positively than before. He hadn’t sent her a single ticket; he’d thought of Amy, and that said a lot. He wanted her to take the trip. Should she read something into the fact that they were only one-way? Was that an invitation to stay, or had he not been able to afford return tickets?

There was still the chance he wouldn’t be there, and the tickets really were a simple thank-you for her representation. Her stomach churned. If he wasn’t there, it would mean there never had been anything real between them—anything besides the strongest attraction she’d ever experienced. Given that Kenny hadn’t been able to turn up proof about Dakota’s drug use, what did that attraction mean if Parker had been lying to her about the drugs?

Caitlin debated for several long seconds, but when it came right down to it, none of this mattered. She needed to see Parker, and if these tickets meant a chance of that, she was going. She would choose to take the risk. If things didn’t work out, she’d buy her own tickets home and celebrate the fact that she hadn’t let fear stop her.

“Amy,” she said, her voice shaking with barely controlled excitement, “how would you like to go on a trip? We could go on a plane and everything.”

“A real plane?” Amy’s smile grew wide. “I do want to go! Yes!”

“Then let’s go pack.”

She’d finished Amy’s suitcase and was halfway finished with her own when her phone broke her concentration. Caitlin answered it, not glancing at the number.

“Hi, beautiful.” Kenny’s exuberance made her smile.

“You have something?” she asked. Kenny never called her after work hours unless it was important.

“I found an old house owned by the boyfriend through some fake company. From what I observed of the comings and goings, it looks suspiciously like a meth lab.”

Excitement rippled through Caitlin’s stomach and spilled into her words. “You think Dakota knows about it?”

“She was there last night. Not long. An hour maybe. The little boy was screaming for some reason. That’s probably why they left so fast. This afternoon, I saw two known drug dealers leaving—people who were definitely involved with the suicide guy Dakota lived with at that other meth house. I’ve been following them for a couple hours, but I’ve lost their trail. Anyway, I’ll text you the address of the house when we hang up.”

“Thanks. I’ll let the police know.”

Calling Sally meant the possibility of blabbing about the tickets, and Caitlin didn’t want to tell her, even if it was best for Madison. Then again, if the information Kenny had found led them to the proof they needed, Parker would be proven right—and she wanted that more than she wanted to keep Sally in the dark about the tickets.

Quickly she dialed Sally’s number. “Sally? Listen. Kenny called. He says he has something. Maybe we weren’t wrong to trust Parker after all.” She quickly outlined Kenny’s suspicions. “I’m texting you the address he sent. Could you check it out?”

“Yes, but I want to call Kenny for the particulars and then do a bit of checking on the house’s history. If I smell a rat, I’ll drive by with some of the guys on my way home.” Sally spoke casually, though Caitlin could sense an underlying excitement in her voice. This case had nearly driven Sally crazy, especially when Parker’s trail had dried up in Nevada.

“Thanks. And Sally, double check on the little boy while you’re talking to Dakota. He’s been crying a lot, according to Kenny. If this turns out to be real, he’s not safe any more than Madison was.”

“I’ll take care of it. But look, don’t get your hopes up too high.”

Too late for that. Caitlin was either headed for ecstasy or disaster. “Don’t worry about me. I know what I’m doing.”

“And what is that?”

For the first time in three weeks, Caitlin felt real joy. “I’m going on a little trip.”