Chapter Fifteen

 

 

BELLA’S CEILING WASN’T THAT interesting. Perfectly ordinary really, decorated as it was with subtle mouldings barely more than a suggestion of form against the unending stretch of white. Shadow threw strange patterns against the ceiling, but even the light of the flickering gas could not create interest when none was to be had. The chandelier itself held some attraction, with forty-two large tear-drop crystals and a further fifty-eight smaller ones spaced between them, and she couldn’t believe she was so bored she had counted the drops from a light fixture.

With an almost imperceptible sigh, Elizabeth switched her attention to the dinner table. Maybe the silverware had gained some excitement in the minute and a half it had been since last she’d perused it.

It hadn’t.

The other guests conversed easily with each other, obviously none battling boredom. There was, of course, Bella, who appeared wholly impressed with her own consequence. Burfield sat opposite her, the whole length of the table and several decorations between them. They each studiously ignored the other.

The guests were a veritable hodgepodge, some obvious choices, others perplexing in their strangeness. The Earl of Maddox was a contemporary of Burfield’s, a large, brash man with a shock of blond hair and a surprisingly exquisite social delicacy. His Countess sat opposite him, a pallid woman who always seemed to have one hand wrapped around a wineglass.

Captain Duddely, however, seemed an odd choice. Elizabeth had no notion why her sister had invited the captain but he did seem great fun, with his bluster and his decided lack of tact and, judging by the raucous behaviour from that end of the table, Burfield and Maddox agreed.

A particularly loud guffaw emitted from the three and Elizabeth could not contain a smile. Lady Caldicott, however, did not share her amusement. A more sour look Elizabeth had yet to observe and as she watched, Lady Caldicott nodded to herself, as if their behaviour confirmed something she had known all along.

Lord Caldicott was engaged in conversation with Mr. Sutton, both men apparently finding something of common interest despite the disparity in their stations, even if Lord Caldicott did at times break the conversation to leer at the serving maid. By contrast, Mr. Sutton conversed with the whole of his attention, his open face displaying his enjoyment of the evening.

Of course, if Mr. Sutton were here, it meant that his wife was also. A shudder went through Elizabeth as Regina Sutton chose that moment to laugh, a high, shrill sound that never failed to scrape along every one of her nerves. Something about Regina Sutton rubbed Elizabeth the wrong way, and she could not believe Bella insisted on inviting her to social occasions.

The final member of their party was a small, rather rotund man far more studious in appearance than Elizabeth would have thought Bella would deign to invite. He’d been introduced as a Mr. M. Harlow Brown, but Elizabeth had no notion what his connection to Bella was, or why he’d been invited. He seemed comfortable with the company, however, and appeared to be holding decent conversation.

Which was something she should be doing.

Again she sighed, again covertly. She just couldn’t muster any enthusiasm. The evening had been a waste, especially as she could have been employing her time much more agreeably. Any number of things required her attention, and most of them she would much prefer to this tedious dinner.

Besides which, she missed James.

She rubbed a pattern on the tablecloth. Right now, if not for this, she would have been with him. Maybe they would be snuggled beneath blankets, his arms loose about her as they watched the fire crackle. Mayhap even they would be ensconced once again on the conservatory’s balcony, the remnants of the ice display creating a wall between them and the world.

It was still unbelievable that he’d done such a thing. The rest of the night they’d stayed in that icy wonderland, watching the play of ice on flame. Well, they’d stayed until James had remarked he could no longer feel his feet and, while he enjoyed the sensation, he would prefer not to develop frostbite. She’d grinned and assured him she had ways of warming him. He’d raised his brow and inquired, in the most dispassionate of tones, what, exactly, she’d had in min—

Regina Sutton brayed again. Grimacing, Elizabeth glanced at the wall clock. It was still early. There were hours and hours of this torture to go. Maybe she could plead illness. Surely she would not need specifics. If she hurried, she would even be able to make her way to Malvern House—

The clink of metal against crystal broke her thoughts. Lord Caldicott held his knife poised before his glass, a smile on his florid features. “My dear Lady Burfield, may I take this opportunity to extend my congratulations on a marvellous dinner? I cannot remember the last time I was so well fed.”

Bella inclined her head, a pretty smile wreathing her lips. “Thank you, Lord Caldicott. My guests’ comfort is of extreme importance. My chef and I did all we could to ensure a superlative meal, and I am delighted we succeeded.”

“Superlative? I would venture to say divine.” Lady Caldicott’s smile should have been pleasant. “Such a bold move, the fowl course. I cannot remember the last time I had such a simple, uncomplicated dish. The palate, my dear…why, one could almost call it provincial.”

Astonishment battered Elizabeth. What did the woman think she was about, to insult Bella so?

Before Bella could reply, Burfield added his voice to the table. “You are quite correct, Lady Caldicott. I find a table can quite frequently be overwhelmed with flavours. Sometimes, all I desire is a single ingredient, prepared well and surrounded by good English food. A turnip, you know, never did anybody any ill.” A frown marred the perfection of Burfield’s face. It was criminal, really, how beautiful Bella’s husband was. “Except my sister. She once had the oddest notion to excavate the cook’s garden, for buried treasure or some such. Unfortunately, all she found were turnips. Oceans of them, by all accounts. She was most distraught. Inconsolable for days, from what I remember. It was extremely taxing on our poor cook, who had been planning a grand feast featuring the turnip. Turnip soup, roasted turnip—I believe there was even mention of turnip gateaux. By turns, Cook took to her bed, and Letitia to hers and there was much wailing and lamenting.” Burfield’s expression turned mournful. “We never did get that turnip feast.”

“Turnip feast?” the earl asked.

Burfield shrugged. “We had an odd cook.”

“And why have we not heard mention of this grand turnip feast before? I’ve never heard your sister speak of it. One might almost think it was some odd fancy of yours, this talk of rescue, Burfield.” Was it her imagination or did Maddox emphasise the word ‘rescue’?

Elizabeth could have sworn Burfield was silently consigning his friend to the devil. Maddox only grinned.

Finally, Burfield spoke. “It really did not signify. It cannot be said that a feast of the turnip would feature high in one’s list of events one must attend before one dies.”

“Turnips were Papa’s favourite vegetable,” Regina Sutton announced. “He always declared it the most noble of all the taproots.”

Mr. Sutton smiled warmly at his wife, his eyes alight with affection. Elizabeth could only grit her teeth.

“Never could stand turnips. Always went rotten after a month or so. Used to toss ’em off the side of the ship.” Captain Duddely punctuated his statement by downing what remained of his wine.

A bit harried, as if wondering how the conversation had devolved to include turnips, Bella cleared her throat. “While I, like many others, enjoy the particular benefits of turnips, I must direct your attention to other matters.” An almost eager glint lit her eye. “We have a very special guest this evening, one who can enlighten us to darker elements.” Bella turned to the studious man seated opposite Elizabeth. “Mr. Brown, have you had a chance to speak of your studies as yet?”

Elizabeth stared at her sister. Did Bella just emphasise those words?

Mr. Brown delicately wiped his mouth, then folded his napkin precisely. “My dear lady, I’m afraid not. And I must thank you for extending the invitation to me. I am honoured to be in such exalted company.”

“It is I who am honoured, Mr. Brown. Your field of study attracts such a limited number of scholars, which is of great shame. Truly, it is something that we all have an interest in.” Bella looked as if she could not contain her excitement. Or, at least, she did to Elizabeth. “Mr. Brown studies those arts which are provocative.”

Elizabeth’s brows shot up. Bella couldn’t mean….

“Mr. Brown….” Bella lowered her voice. “Studies the erotic.”

Incredulous, Elizabeth could only stare at her sister. Her staid, sensible, prudish sister. The sister who had never put a foot wrong. The sister who had lectured Elizabeth ad nauseam about her elopement with Rocksley. That Bella had invited an expert on the erotic to her dinner?

Elizabeth’s shock was mirrored in Bella’s guests, who ran the gamut from mildly interested to horrendously aghast. Burfield had raised his brows at the pronouncement, clearly surprised by his wife’s choice of guest. The Earl of Maddox seemed more amused than anything else, while his wife displayed little care one way or the other. Lady Caldicott’s face was suffused with outrage and indignation, while Lord Caldicott definitely seemed taken aback. The Suttons, though, appeared unaffected. Of course. Bella must have told Regina Sutton what to expect. Damnation, why was Bella so friendly with the woman?

It seemed no one knew what to say. Silence took a stranglehold on the dining room.

Captain Duddely guffawed. “A bit of rumpy pumpy study, hey, Brown? Always did like a bit of the stuff.”

A quick raise of her hand covered her smile. If anyone was to break the silence, she was glad it had been Captain Duddely. And in such a magnificent fashion. Truly, she could grow to love the man.

Mr. Brown seemed a bit scandalised by Captain Duddely’s comment. “Yes, Captain, it is a fascinating subject.” He cleared his throat. “But it is a pleasure and a delight to be asked to speak to you all on my work. I have found that discourse on the sensual arts to be shockingly lax in recent years. We do love our queen, do we not? And as such, we adhere to her sensibilities. But it can be a tad limiting. Don’t you agree?”

“I make it a point never to be limited.” Burfield smiled blandly. “Except on Tuesdays. For some reasons, I can never do anything to excess on Tuesdays.”

Bella glared at Burfield, who responded with a look of perfect innocence.

As for herself, well, Elizabeth could only stare at the man. She’d never heard of him, and James certainly hadn’t mentioned him. Surely if he were that conversant on erotica, James would have included him in her curriculum. They had discussed erotic fiction, studied pictograms and lithographs, and James had even procured a tome on lascivious artworks. But never, in any of those studies, had this man been mentioned.

Her lips quirked. Maybe for once she would be able to enlighten James.

“I have found, though, that many a study into the earthy pleasures have not maintained a proper grip on propriety.” Mr. Brown shook his head. “Most are crude representations of what should be celebrated as a private congress between husband and wife. Indeed, some of the papers by my contemporaries.” Mr. Brown tutted. “My ladies, they are not fit for my eyes, let alone for such luminous personages such as yourself.”

“It is right and proper of you to censor your findings, Mr. Brown,” Lady Caldicott announced. “Morality has become shockingly lax, and we can only follow the example of our magnificent queen in steering those weaker than ourselves on correct behaviour.”

Mr. Brown nodded gravely. “My lady, I could not have put it better myself. You understand perfectly my dilemma. Such studies are of the utmost importance, and yet one must deal delicately with the finer sensibilities. Many would be shocked by my findings. Simply shocked.”

“Shocked.” Captain Duddely snorted. “Man shouldn’t be shocked. Bunch of nambies, land folk. You’d never find this on the waves. The sea is a cruel mistress, but she’s not a jealous one.” He laughed heartily, and again downed his wine.

As the footman with the pitcher of wine took up residence slightly to Captain Duddely’s left, Elizabeth could only gaze in awe at the man. The captain was brash, uncouth, and blessedly unconcerned by those facts. He was, in a word, brilliant.

“Mr. Brown, have you been at your studies for long?” The Countess of Maddox’s quiet features offered no clue as to her thoughts.

“Since my university days, my lady. I developed a passion for the classics and the erotic adventures of the ancients has been well documented in several forums. I found myself consumed with a desire to know everything I could about the subject and dedicated my life to studying its finer points.”

“So you study ancient erotica?” The words left Elizabeth before she could stop them.

Her bald question apparently shocked Mr. Brown. He appeared flustered, in any event, and not only Mr. Brown seemed so. Several at the table gave her odd looks.

“Um, yes, my lady, I do, although I would not put it quite so boldly. We must always retain a certain delicacy, especially in relation to matters such as these.”

Elizabeth smiled weakly in response.

Bella saved her from having to comment further. “My sister, Mr. Brown, sometimes speaks without thinking. Please, do continue.”

Mr. Brown appeared as if he didn’t know what to think. Bella, however, seemed to have no trouble and, covertly, shot a glare at Elizabeth.

Elizabeth raised her brow, much as James would have. Bella had no right to chide her in such a manner. Maybe Elizabeth’s comment had been on the edge of appropriate, and maybe she should have held her tongue, but she had done nothing irreparable. Bella was overreacting, as usual.

There was an awkward pause, and Lord Caldicott chose to fill it. “Mr. Brown has some of the most interesting theories I have had the fortune to peruse. In fact, his pamphlets are most informative, and very well researched. I myself have all seven.” The officious man looked so proud of himself for his diverse reading habits.

“Thank you, my lord. I am always cognizant of the flattery my readers do me by regarding my work in the highest esteem.” Mr. Brown looked over the rims of his glasses. “Such studies, of course, are all-consuming. I find my time and my funds are quite often depleted. Patrons such as yourself, sir, help with furthering my studies. But the pursuit of knowledge is worth any sacrifice, and one gains such a sense of satisfaction from pursuing such a thing. However, it is such an expensive exercise, and I find that the publication of my pamphlets do not always cover costs.”

Good lord, the man had attended Bella’s party to solicit funds. Even now, he had an avaricious gleam in his eye.

The Earl of Maddox was the first to respond. “A contemporary perspective would surely draw more patrons, Mr. Brown. We all delight in learning further about ourselves, do we not?” The earl smiled urbanely at the man, though his eyes were cool.

“You are correct that a, uh, contemporary perspective would be of more interest, my lord. However, there is less grace, less majesty in more recent publications. Just the other day, I acquired a tome published but a year ago, and it is shocking in its depiction of libidinous activity. Simply shocking. It does seem to be popular with the common masses, and many of them cannot contain themselves when asked to discuss it. I would almost deem them frenzied, fiendishly close to salivating. If not for my study, I would have quite steered clear of the rabble, but many of them had interesting views of the publication. Completely uninformed, of course, but interesting.”

The man droned on and on. Elizabeth played with the handle of her knife, listening with only half an ear. What she wouldn’t give for James’s directness right about now. He would have plainly said what was in the book, given a brief precise, and then demonstrated the more pleasurable bits.

Damnation, she had to stop thinking about James. Sighing, she folded her hands in her lap, resolving to at least pretend interest in the conversation.

“It is a necessary assertion that passionate desires, when not tempered by wisdom and restraint, can lead one into the darker areas of the human condition. Indeed, the unfortunate heroine finds herself in such a quandary and rather than applying to her conscience, she instead slides further, ending in lascivious congress with a man not her husband.”

“And the book’s name, Mr. Brown?” Surprisingly, it was the Countess of Maddox who asked the question. The woman had not said above five words all evening, and now she had spoken twice in ten minutes.

“Ah, the book. Yes. Such an intriguing tome. In my pamphlet, which is much in demand, I flatter myself to think, I discuss the merits of focusing on the heroine’s shocking lapse into depravity and the depths to which she sinks.”

The Countess of Maddox’s expression remained calm. “But the name of it, sir. You’ve neglected the name.”

“Oh, my apologies, my lady. It is simply called Sophia, an innocent name for such a book.”

Maddox, who had just taken a draught of his wine, choked. His wife regarded him impassively. “Sophia?” he managed to say.

“A semi-biographical tome, I believe. The misadventures of a young girl. Quite shocking, really.” Mr. Brown shook his head.

Maddox appeared unable to speak. His wife regarded him with that same impassive stare. Elizabeth glanced between the two. Suspicion rose. The book was one James had given her, and a large portion had detailed the title character’s affair with a lord. The reason for its notoriety amongst society was because, as Mr. Brown said, it was reputed to be a biography. From Maddox’s reaction, could it be the gossips were right for once?

“Maybe you are correct in that this is not proper discussion in mixed company, Brown.” Burfield’s smile was amiable, but an edge of irritation lurked beneath the genial expression. “Books always get one into trouble, you know. I had a friend once, Rolston, good chap, went to Rugby with us and set up the most amazing betting system I’d ever encountered. Anyway, he once had an ill encounter with a book and, though he’d never tell us the particulars, ’twas obvious it scarred him for life. So mayhap it is better to leave such things undiscussed.”

Bella’s smile was pleasant. “Burfield, we do not need to hear about your friend Rolston.”

“I was under the impression this was my house, my dear,” Burfield said mildly. “I can do what I like.”

Bella and Burfield stared at each other, his expression open and amused, hers fractious. Well, this was certainly an interesting turn of events. Mostly, Bella would pretend all was well between her and her husband, even when it was so very obvious it was not.

“Please, Mr. Brown.” Bella’s gaze never left Burfield. “Won’t you continue?”

Mr. Brown looked between the two, obviously torn.

Suddenly, Burfield smiled, and looked away from his wife to his guest. “Please, Brown, do continue. Pardon my interruption.”

Though he looked troubled, Mr. Brown began a hesitant description of the book. As none gainsaid him, he grew bolder, outlining some of the content and yet none of the licentiousness.

Elizabeth ignored him, instead watching Bella. Though his attention had returned to Mr. Brown, Bella still regarded at Burfield and, in that small glance, wholly unnoticed by the table at large, a story was written. One where Bella, amazingly, harboured some feeling for her husband. For just a moment, less than a second, Bella’s face had held frustration, anger and, beyond all else, a strange longing.

Never would Elizabeth have considered Bella entertained tender feelings for Burfield. They’d been married for years, had two children and yet lived completely separate lives. Surely she had imagined the faint longing in Bella’s eyes. Surely.

Suddenly, comprehension of what Mr. Brown was expunging hit her. “That’s not what happened at all.”

Oh lord, her mouth was running away with her again. And now everyone was staring at her.

Mr. Brown smiled condescendingly. “I know this a bit better than you, my dear.”

“But sir….” In for a penny, in for a pound, Elizabeth. “Do you not think that, while celebrating erotic expression, the story also shows the follies of uninhibited sensuality without thought?”

Mr. Brown pursed his lips. “My lady, you have read this book?”

Deep silence, almost as if every breath was held awaiting her answer.

Right, well, into the fray, such as it were. Raising a brow, she did her best impression of James. “Yes, I have.”

Scandalised glances from all at the table, between each other, at her. Bella looked horrified.

There was little to do but continue. “The erotic must always be grounded in sense, not undertaken simply as a whim or a hedonistic pleasure.”

Mr. Brown’s expression grew florid, almost as if he would have an apoplexy and expire upon the spot. “This book is nothing more than a discourse on the degeneracy of lustful behaviour.”

“But surely erotic expression for the sake of it is not a sin.” Elizabeth couldn’t stop the stream of words now. “Indeed, as Sophia discovers, it is a celebration of pleasure between two consenting adults. The book itself articulates the glory of sexual expression, and the joy one can glean from the opposite sex. By the conclusion, Sophia is happily ensconced with her lover, a man dedicated to ensuring her happiness, both the emotional and the erotic. Do you not think, sir, that the novel shows how women can seize control of their sexuality and become mistresses of their own fate?”

Intense silence had fallen. Around the table, all stared at her, all scandalised. All except Regina Sutton, who wore an expression of gleeful horror.

Oh. Oh, no. She was an idiot. A fool. No lady knew of the erotic, and if she did, she kept it to herself. More so, her words displayed a depth of knowledge no lady should have.

“I am shocked,” Lady Caldicott announced.

Regina Sutton nodded, as if she agreed with Lady Caldicott’s pronouncement. The countess simply stared, her motionless features displaying no opinion. The earl wore an odd combination of shock and gratitude, and Elizabeth stupidly realised she had drawn the attention from speculation about him. Well, wasn’t she the courteous soul.

Disappointment drew the lines of Mr. Sutton’s features. Captain Duddely and Lord Caldicott regarded her with a degree of calculation in their glances, and she looked away, unable to bear their scrutiny. She didn’t want to know of what they were thinking. Even Burfield, who surely had been subjected to her inappropriate behaviour before, seemed taken aback.

But the worst was Bella. Pale, silent Bella.

God, she wanted James. James would protect her. He would put his hand on her cold one and stare each of them down, daring them to say something, and they would all look away and everything would return to normal. Later, when they were alone, she would lambaste herself for a fool, and he would hold her and comfort her.

But James wasn’t here. She would have to face this herself.

The silence was broken by Bella’s laugh, the sound tight and high. “Please excuse my sister. She does not know of what she speaks.”

No one uttered a word. Finally, Elizabeth ventured a rebuttal. “Bella, I thank you, but I’m perfectly capable—”

“Elizabeth, you will be silent.” Bella’s smile was pleasant, but her tone….

Elizabeth swallowed, and was silent.

After an agonizingly endless moment, Mr. Brown cleared his throat. “As I was saying, any discourse on erotica needs to have established parameters. A lady should not attempt to things that do not concern her.”

Fury burned away some of the shame. How dare he say that? That little man had no right to say such things about her, to judge her and hold her in contempt. She had risked much to gain her knowledge and, by all accounts, had a much better grasp of the erotic than this officious little man with his condescension and his contempt. Opening her mouth, she prepared to lambast the man.

Bella shot to her feet. “If you will excuse us, my sister and I must talk.” She turned burning eyes upon Elizabeth. “Come, Elizabeth.”

There was no way she could refuse such a command. Placing her napkin with great deliberation on the table, she rose to her feet and, as abruptly as it flared, her fury died.

The men stood haphazardly, as if they suddenly realised she was still a lady and, as such, politeness dictated they stand. Shame suffused her at their hesitation and she executed as perfect a curtsy as she could manage to prove that, despite all evidence to the contrary, she was still a lady. As she rose from her curtsy, she hadn’t convinced herself, let alone those at the table who stared.

Bella waited for her in the hall and, turning on her heel, clearly expected Elizabeth to follow. Dread churned in her stomach as she did so. She was in for it now. Bella became angry over the most inconsequential of things. How, then, would she react to this?

Elizabeth gnawed at the nail on her thumb as Bella led her to a sitting room not two doors from the dining room, closing the door with a sharp snap. Taking a deep breath, Elizabeth turned to face her sister, bracing herself for Bella’s fury.

Her sister rounded on her immediately. “What were you thinking?”

“I—”

“How could you say such things? In front of other people? How could you?”

“Bella, I—”

“You have made this dinner infamous, Elizabeth. Tomorrow, all that shall be talked of is your knowledge on some sordid book. And the question will be asked, how did you gain such knowledge? There will be whispers, Elizabeth, and they won’t be contained to you alone. How dare you bring this upon my family? How dare you?”

Abruptly defensive, Elizabeth grasped at the few options left to her. “He was a pompous fool, Bella. What else was I to say? Besides which, why did you even invite him? He studies the ‘erotic’, Bella. Already you had a recipe for scandal. Besides, of what possible interest could the erotic be to y—?”

Bella’s expression grew thunderous. “A pompous fool? I care not a whit if he’s a pompous fool. I care that you have decided to be decidedly indecent in my house. And it is absolutely no concern of yours why I invited him.”

A memory pierced through the haze, a memory of Bella at the table, that mix of longing and defiance in her eyes. “Bella, this is not some misguided attempt to garner Burfield’s attention, is it?”

Blood rushed to Bella’s face and she appeared unable to speak. Finally she ground out, “That is none of your concern.”

“But Bella, maybe if you tell me, I can hel—” She snapped her mouth shut. Bella looked as though she wanted to hit her.

“Stop pushing! You always push! Can’t you just leave well enough alone?” Bella hit her hand to her forehead, so hard she left a mark. “What am I saying? Of course you can’t. Look at tonight. Mr. Brown is an expert on erotica, and yet you had to question him. You had to push. Now, all of society knows my sister possesses intimate knowledge of a scandalous book!”

Though she knew she was wrong, she couldn’t stop her mouth from saying the words. “Bella, it’s not as bad as that. You are overreacting. Besides, you invited Mr. Brown in the first place. If you were worried about scandal, why did you do so?”

“It is not Mr. Brown’s presence here that is scandalous. Elizabeth, you know this book, and what’s worse, you challenged a renowned expert. You sat there, argued with him, and demonstrated for us all that you know this book. Extremely well!”

“Bella, there is nothing wrong—”

“Of course you don’t see what is wrong!” Bella exploded. “You never do. You blithely go your own way, do whatever you want and nobody ever stops you. Nobody! Meanwhile, the rest of us have to deal with the mess left in your wake.”

Elizabeth stared at her sister. No. This time, Bella was wrong. “I don’t do whatever I want with no care for others.”

“Of course not. That is why, at this very moment, my guests are in shocked disbelief that my sister could be so coarse. Your lack of concern for how your bloody inquisitiveness affects the rest of us is truly vile. I am ashamed to call you my sister.”

Elizabeth wrapped her arms about herself. She did have care for others.

“You’ve changed, Elizabeth. Don’t think I haven’t noticed your demeanour these last months. You are up to something, and I will not have whatever it is intrude upon my home.” Bella enunciated each word precisely, her eyes burning. “I will not tolerate your smug looks and your stupid little smiles and…and...when did you become an expert on the erotic?”

Brief panic flared. Had she slipped? Did Bella know about James?

Just as suddenly, the panic faded. She had done what Bella said she had. She’d undertaken a venture that, if discovered, would bring shame to her family. James was proof she had little care of others. Without thought or concern, she had applied to a madam of a brothel, engaged James’s tutelage and proceeded to learn things, do things, that would bring shame to her family. No matter the precautions she’d taken against such an event, the care she’d taken to ensure none should discover it, still she’d courted risk.

Once again, she’d acted in service to her curiosity. Once again, she’d acted without care. All, always, was in service to her bloody desire to know.

“You have ruined this dinner party, Elizabeth. God only knows what Burfield thinks of it. Of you. Do you know how long it took to convince him to attend this evening? And now, all is undone. Because of you. You and your questions and your inappropriateness and…and….”

Bella swallowed. “You never think, Elizabeth. You have to know, and nothing stops you. Not even when it will be to the detriment of others.”

Elizabeth stared at her sister and offered no excuses. No defences. Because she knew Bella was right. Her sister’s words echoed, the weight of truth behind each one. How could Elizabeth defend herself? She’d done the thing Bella accused her of. She’d acted coarse and immodest, and she’d done it with no thought as to how her actions would affect others.

Bella sighed. “I shouldn’t expect anything different, should I? Always it has been so. I am sorry, Elizabeth. I never should have invited you.”

Absently, Elizabeth noted Bella had calmed, had regained normal colour and temperament. She watched as her sister wiped her face, checked her hair.

“Well, there is nothing for it. We’ll have to brazen it out, I expect.” Bella smoothed the front panel of her dress, her fingers deliberate on the fabric. “I shall return to the table now. Follow me in a few minutes. We shall get through this night and then, God willing, we shall never have to speak of it again.” Bella pasted a wide smile on her face. “Right. I shall see you in there.”

Elizabeth stood alone in the room, the silence deafening. Finally, she managed to make her way to the dining room. She laughed and she conversed, and she did all the things a dinner guest was supposed to.

Later, when she was alone, she sat on her bed, hands grasped tightly in her lap, and stared at the wall until morning came.