As Kate drove back into Dave and Janie’s place and put the dogs back in the kennels, she noticed Janie in the chook house on the other side of the farmyard. Janie was cloaked in a grubby blue raincoat that hung down by the hood on her head. She looked weary as she stooped to check for eggs beneath a frumpy broody hen. Beside the shed, Janie’s four-wheel drive had country music playing loudly from it.
Kate drove her ute across the yard and got out to look through the car windows. Nell was in the booster seat, asleep, her mouth slightly open. Beside her, the twins were grizzling. Snot ran in a silver drizzle down Brendan’s nose to his top lip. When they saw Kate, they upped their grizzling to crying. She opened the door of the 4WD, passed them each a toy, wiped Brendan’s nose and told them to wait just a minute longer.
‘Mummy and I will be back really soon,’ she said, before shutting the car door.
When Kate stooped into the chook pen the stench of damp chook poop rose up to meet her. Janie held an old saucepan with just one egg in it.
‘I was trying to find something to give them for lunch. I’ve got bugger all at home. Not even a tin of beans. You haven’t done a shop lately by any chance?’
Kate shook her head. Groceries were the last thing on her mind. Janie didn’t look up from the intensity of her egg searching. Kate could tell she was rushed and stressed. If Janie had glanced at her, she would have seen that Kate’s eyes were puffy and red-rimmed. Janie continued talking, her voice flat and cynical.
‘Playgroup was a blast – we made paper plate pictures. Nell had a ball, if you’re interested to know.’ Then the tone of her voice softened. ‘There was no news on Lance McDonnell though. No news at all. Just that he was still on life support.’
‘He died,’ Kate said. A shiver of rain settled on her skin and seeped coldness into her bones.
‘Oh God,’ Janie said. ‘He died? No. When?’ She looked at Kate and took in the devastation on her face. ‘Oh, poor Nick.’
Kate held back tears as she tried to get out the words that added so much more to the hurt.
‘And Bronty’s … for sale.’
Janie shut her eyes and nodded.
‘I know.’
‘You know? How?’
‘Playgroup …’
‘And you weren’t going to say anything?’
‘I was … but after I’d got the kids in and settled.’
Kate felt another surge of anger. Didn’t anyone understand?
‘I know it wouldn’t mean as much to you, but you didn’t think to mention it first, ahead of paper plates?’ she asked coldly.
‘It does mean a lot to me!’ Janie said, taken aback. ‘Of course I know how hurt you must feel. But I was going to tell you once I’d got the kids fed and the twins down for their sleep. Then I thought we could sit down and figure out what to do about it. I know what you’re going through, but at the moment the kids must come first.’
‘Are you saying I’m a bad mother?’ Kate accused.
‘No! For once in your life, take a breath, calm down and put things in perspective. It’s a shock, yes. It’s important, yes. But there’s no need to cause a scene in front of the kids, please. Farm or no farm, they need attention first.’
‘This isn’t about putting myself first, Janie. This is all about Nell … I’m doing this for her. She has a right to grow up on that property.’
‘A right?’ Janie’s eyes narrowed in anger. ‘Nothing comes to us in life unless we work for it, Kate. Nothing. If you want her to be on Bronty, you have to work for it.’
‘I did work! I put myself through college and got a degree even though I’d just been to hell and back having a baby on my own. Now I’ve got a good job and all I bloody do is work! And I’ve spent hours drawing up new plans for the place.’
Janie shook her head. ‘I don’t just mean work, work and pieces of paper and your bloody clever brains and degrees. I mean you have to work at your relationships with people. Do you think I fitted in easily here on Dave’s farm? Do you think Dave’s dad is just handing it all to us? Do you think things are rosy between his mum and me with the kids every minute? No! We work at it – every day – by being forgiving, biting our tongues, being empathetic towards other people … not just being aggressive and reactive!’
‘Oh, that’s nice! My family farm is on the market, Nick’s dad’s just died and you’re calling me aggressive and reactive! Giving me bloody holier-than-thou lectures! Just because you’re Mrs Perfectly-organised-mother.’
‘Kate,’ said Janie in a tired voice, ‘Dave and I have pulled out all the stops to help you, and you know it. Lots of people have because you’re … well … you’re you. Everyone knows how hard it must’ve been to lose your mother so young, but the trouble is, everyone’s been tiptoeing round you ever since. If you can just recognise that no one is attacking you except yourself, you’ll be a lot better off. Now, if we get the kids inside and settled, then we can talk about it. I’m just too bloody tired to be arguing with you.’
Kate closed her eyes. Janie’s words cut deep.
‘What am I supposed to do then?’
‘You’re the bloody farm counsellor … stop making it all about you. Try on someone else’s shoes for a change … walk in your dad’s shoes, even try on Annabelle’s for a moment. She can’t be all bad, just misdirected. And, for God’s sake, stop getting pissed off with me for being a good mother. It’s my job and it’s a damn sight harder doing it full time than any degree or career anyone could have. So get over yourself, Webster.’
Kate sighed. ‘You know, Janie, you’re right. I’m sorry.’
Janie searched again in vain for another egg, her cheeks flushed. Kate hovered near her, pulling out the insurance company’s letter from her back pocket.
She proffered it to Janie.
‘What’s that?’ Janie said, annoyance in her voice as she tried to get past Kate and through the small chook-pen door.
‘Read it.’
‘I haven’t got time now.’ Janie pushed past and Kate followed her, paraphrasing the letter, emphasising the sum of two hundred thousand. At the 4WD, Janie looked up with wide blue eyes. ‘Did you know about this?’
‘Not until today. Will never said anything.’
Janie stood with her hand on the door handle ready to reef it open. ‘You’ll have to talk to your dad before you can get the money. He’s the executor, isn’t he?’
‘Yep. He is. But I’ll cross that bridge later. Once I did get the money we could use it as a deposit for Bronty.’
‘Get real! Bronty would be worth millions!’
‘Well, a piece of Bronty?’
‘Aren’t you jumping the gun a bit? Shouldn’t you speak to your dad first? He mightn’t want to sell once he’s talked to you.’
‘Why would he talk to me?’
Janie let out a half-strangled scream of frustration. Her cheeks red from stress as the twins cried more solidly in their car seats.
‘He’s been ringing you for the past three weeks, Kate, you dip-shit!’ she yelled. ‘I can’t believe how someone so smart can be so bloody thick! Don’t you think you could be creating a lot of this crap between you and your dad?’
‘It’s not my crap! It’s his.’
Janie looked at Kate in disbelief, then yanked open the door. ‘Whatever you say, Kate,’ she said wearily.
Kate watched as Janie got into the 4WD, the volume of the crying twins upped and spilling out into the rainy day.
‘Would you and Dave be interested?’ Kate said. ‘We could go into a partnership and buy it.’
‘We?’ Janie said incredulously. She jabbed a finger at the dashboard and turned the radio off. The twins were still grizzling and now Nell was awake, looking sleepy and grumpy.
‘You, me and Dave,’ Kate said. ‘You could expand. Take a step up from this place. It’s just a thought. Just had it then!’
‘Why would Dave and I want to do that?’ Janie turned to face Kate, fury brimming over. ‘We’re perfectly happy here, we don’t want to expand. We’ve got Dave’s parents to consider and besides …’ Janie let her words fall away. She started the 4WD with an angry twist of the key and glowered past Kate to the chook yard, where white hens scratched and strutted about in the shed.
‘Besides, what?’
‘Who can trust you? You’re likely to leave town the next time the wind changes. I think sometimes even Nell senses that.’
Kate felt the sting of her words. She kicked at the ground with the toe of her boot. The rain began to fall heavier.
‘You’re not hearing me, are you?’ Janie said. ‘Kate. It’s up to you to change in here …’ – Janie tapped her fingertips on her heart-space – ‘and here.’ She tapped her index finger to her head. ‘Then everything else will fall into place. Nick, Bronty, Nell. But it all starts with you giving up on this anger and talking to your dad.’
‘Anger! What anger?’ Kate spat.
‘Kate,’ soothed Janie, ‘if you don’t mind, I’ve got kids in the car screaming … one of them happens to be yours, if you recall. It’d be nice if you could give me a hand. It’s not easy with twins at the best of times. Let alone having a third to look after. I know you’ve had a hard time, Kate, but really, you should think of other people sometimes. See you back at the house.’
Janie slammed the door and drove away, leaving Kate to feel the full force of her words.