Chapter 17

The door stopped moving immediately and I heard footsteps retreating rapidly down the hall. I rushed over to the door, which was still slightly ajar. I looked up and down the corridor, but the person had disappeared. I gave chase, running in the direction of the great hall, where the only light burning was the small lamp on a side table. I stood still, listening for any sound, but I heard nothing. Maybe it was the semi-darkness, maybe it was being alone in the great hall, but I had a creeping sensation that someone was watching me. I couldn’t see who it was or where he or she was hiding, but I knew someone was there. I was afraid, but the longer I stood there listening, the angrier I became.

“Listen, you. I don’t know who you are or what you want in my room, but you’d better think twice before doing it again,” I spoke stridently into the dim. “I don’t have anything you want, so leave me alone.” I surprised myself by the strength of my voice—that would never have been possible back in Cauld Loch.

I stalked back down the hallway, yearning to check behind me to see if anyone was there, but refusing to give in to the temptation and signal to the person that I was afraid. I wished I had the moxie to go along with my strong words, but the truth was that I was terrified.

When I returned to my room I barricaded the door with the armchair and I moved my desk in front of it, too. No one would be able to get into my room without waking everyone in the castle.

Even so, there was no way I was getting any more sleep that night. I sat on the edge of the bed and reached for my phone. I wanted to talk to Griff, to have him reassure me that everything was going to be okay, but I couldn’t call him. Not after the conversation we’d had earlier in the evening. I thought about texting or calling Sylvie, but I knew she and Seamus would be sleeping and it seemed selfish to wake them up, especially knowing they had a long day ahead of them driving back to Cauld Loch.

There was no one for me to talk to. I was scared, alone, and still feeling sorry for myself. I tried reading again, but couldn’t concentrate. Eventually I gave up, grabbed my laptop, and began a search for estates in Wales and Scotland that were advertising for managers. Until I worked for Annabel I would never have considered myself qualified to be an estate manager, but I was confident in my abilities now and liked the idea of continuing in the same type of job.

I emailed my CV in response to several of the adverts and was just closing the laptop as the sun began to rise above the horizon, painting the sky with strokes of purple, pink, and gray. I hadn’t realized how long I spent on the computer. Everything always looks better in the morning than it does in the dead of night, and I felt less afraid than I had just hours before. I took a shower and ventured down the hall to the dining room, where I found Rhisiart and Sian deep in discussion. They stopped talking immediately when I entered the room.

“Don’t stop on account of me,” I told them. “I’m just getting a cup of tea.”

Sian was staring at me. I met her look with one of my own, challenging her to admit she was the one in the hallway the previous night.

“Are you all right, Eilidh?” she asked.

“I’m fine. Why?” I countered.

“You just seem a bit flustered this morning.”

“I’m fine,” I repeated. Did I really appear flustered? That was the last thing I wanted. “My cousin and her husband are leaving this morning. I suppose I’m a little blue about that.”

“Would you still be interested in watching André for a little while this afternoon so I can take a nap?” I had forgotten volunteering for the job yesterday.

“Sure,” I said, faltering over the word. I had expected something completely different from her this morning, perhaps an apology for scaring me last night if indeed she had been the one trying to get into my room.

“Will you be around after lunch?” she asked.

“Yes. Shall I come upstairs?”

“Yes. Thank you.” She seemed in control of herself, not giving the slightest indication that she knew what had transpired in the night. That left me with fewer suspects.

Rhisiart was watching my exchange with Sian with interest but didn’t say anything. He sipped his coffee and pretended to read his newspaper, but I could tell his eyes were on us. I glanced at him and he looked away quickly. Was he the one who had tried coming into my room in the night?

Hugh and Cadi came into the dining room while my tea was steeping and they sat down across from each other at the long table. Hugh grunted a “morning” to the rest of us, but Cadi ignored us, choosing instead to flip open a magazine she had brought with her. I often wondered why she and Hugh never spoke, at least in public. They didn’t seem a terribly well-matched couple.

Rhisiart cleared his throat. “What did your friend think of the artwork in the castle, Eilidh?”

“He was impressed,” I answered. I couldn’t resist bragging about Seamus a wee bit. “He’s had shows in some of the big London galleries and he loves looking at art of all kinds. Annabel’s collection was a treat for him to see up close and in private. Thanks for letting him look around.”

“Our pleasure,” Rhisiart said, indicating the others in the room with a short sweep of his hand.

Sian pushed her chair back. “The baby is sleeping, finally, so I’d better get back upstairs. See you after lunch, Eilidh, and thanks again.”

Cadi looked up from her magazine. “What are you and Sian doing after lunch?”

“Nothing,” I replied. “She’s going to take a nap and I’m going to look after André for her.”

Cadi nodded and went back to her reading. Had it been her, or maybe Hugh, who had scared me last night? I didn’t know Cadi very well, but she didn’t seem the type. Hugh, on the other hand…

Cadi must have left the dining room in a hurry after I did because she hailed me in the hallway just a moment later. “Eilidh, come here,” she said in a loud whisper. What now? I wondered.

“What can I do for you, Cadi?” I asked, plastering a fake smile on my face and turning to talk to her.

“Nothing. I was just wondering if you’ve learned any more about Sian’s, shall we say, gardening propensities.”

I gave a slight shake of my head. “No. No one has said anything, and I haven’t asked. I’m sure the police would have asked about it if they thought Sian poisoned Annabel.”

“But how would the police know to ask if they haven’t seen her flat back in London?”

I grimaced. Talking to Cadi like this was making me uncomfortable. It was like she was gleeful at the prospect of her sister-in-law being accused of killing Annabel. I couldn’t imagine Sian doing it—why would she do such a thing knowing she could go to jail for years, leaving a fatherless newborn baby behind? Sian was not my favorite person, but she didn’t strike me as being cold-blooded or dumb enough to do something like that.

“I’m sorry, Cadi, but I really have a lot to do today. Can we talk about this some other time?”

She gave a dramatic shrug. “If the police ask you about it, send them to me. I can tell them everything they need to know.”

I was glad to see her go back to the dining room. I wondered if she had always felt such antagonism toward Sian. I went back to my room, wishing I really did have something to keep me busy. I texted Sylvie and she invited me to go into the village for breakfast with her and Seamus before they got on the road back to Scotland. I agreed since I had only had a cup of tea, wanting to get out of the dining room as quickly as possible.

I met them in the parking enclosure and they followed me to the village. At breakfast I explained what had transpired overnight and told them about my conversation with Cadi back in the castle. They were astounded that someone had tried getting into my room.

“Och, Eilidh, you can’t stay there,” Seamus cautioned.

“Seamus is right,” Sylvie declared. “You’ll have to stay in the coach house after this. There’s plenty of room and you’re not safe in the castle by yourself. You don’t have a friend over there.”

“I have Maisie and Brenda,” I protested.

“But they go home at night,” Sylvie said. “They’re not around to help you when you most need it. Promise me you’ll stay in the coach house. Maybe we should stay,” she said, looking at Seamus. “I hate for Eilidh to be going through this all by herself.”

“I agree,” Seamus said gravely.

“No. You two go home. This is something I can handle on my own.”

“But why should you handle it on your own if we can stay to help you?” Seamus asked.

“Because I want to deal with this myself,” I said, hoping my voice sounded convincing. “I’ve been researching jobs that are available near here,” I added. “I love Wales, and especially Thistlecross. It’s quiet and quaint, and I’ve gotten to know lots of the people in town. I’ve made quite a few friends here.”

Sylvie smiled. I’m sure she was remembering the way I used to be. When I lived in Cauld Loch I was a homebody. The only people I ever went anywhere with were her and Seamus and Callum. Now I could go into the village and see friendly faces everywhere.

We said our goodbyes outside the restaurant after I assured them that I would be all right. I waved to them until they drove out of sight, then dried my tears and returned to the castle, where I packed a bag to take over to the coach house. Looking around my room to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything, I knew something wasn’t right but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

But when I turned around to take one last look at the room, it came to me. The drapes were open. I was sure I had left them closed when I went to the village.

Someone had been in my room in my absence.

I put my bag on the floor just inside my door and closed it again, locking it for good measure. Whoever was in my room must have been looking for something. What could it have been? I strode over to the bureau and yanked open the top drawer. The contents of the drawer were almost the way I had left them. I liked my things in neat piles and rows, and these were the slightest bit jumbled, as if someone had rifled through them and attempted to put everything back the way it had been. I went through the bureau drawers one by one, and each one was just like the top drawer.

The person or persons who had been in my room had gone through my desk and my nightstand, too. The contents of those, like the bureau, were just a wee bit misplaced. I went into my adjoining bathroom and saw that the medicine chest hadn’t been ignored, either. Nothing seemed to be missing from any of the places the intruder had looked, but it unnerved me nonetheless to know my room, my personal and only sanctuary in the castle, had been violated. I couldn’t wait to get over to the coach house.

I couldn’t imagine what anyone wanted in my room, then I realized with a start that someone had probably been looking for the alleged missing will.

I went downstairs to the kitchen to tell Maisie where I was going. She gave me a look of understanding. “I know how you must feel, living here with all of Annabel’s family,” she said. “At least Brenda and I can go home at night. You’re stuck here.”

“It’s not just that, Maisie. Someone went into my room while I was in the village this morning.” She gasped, her eyes wide with surprise.

“I can’t believe someone would stoop so low,” she said, shaking her head. “No one will have any privacy around here.”

“Just watch your back,” I warned her. “Don’t leave your personal things lying around.”

“I never do,” she said. “I’ve been locking up my handbag every day since the family arrived. I don’t even know what prompted me to do it that first day they visited—just suspicious, I guess.”

“Well, I wish my bedroom door locked from the outside, then I could lock it anytime I’m not here,” I said ruefully. “I don’t think there’s anything missing, but just having someone burrowing through my things is enough to give me second thoughts about staying in my job for even one more minute.”

“Oh, don’t say you’re leaving yet!” Maisie cried.

“I’ll stay for a bit longer, but I’ve sent out my CV to places in the area looking for an estate manager. I hope I can get another job soon. Have you and Brenda been looking?”

Maisie looked around, as if she thought someone might hear us. “We think we’ve found a place that will take both of us. I wasn’t sure we should do that, but it so happens there’s a house that needs a maid and a cook. That would be perfect for us—it’s not far from the village.”

“That’s wonderful! Have you visited yet or spoken to the owners of the home?”

“Yes. I’ve spoken to them on the phone and Brenda and I are both going over there tomorrow to talk to the lady of the house.”

“I’m so happy for you, Maisie. I hope you get the job and you and Brenda can get out of here as quickly as possible.” I smiled at my friend.

“Should I ask if they need a house manager?” Maisie asked.

“No, don’t do anything that might hamper your own chances of getting the job. Don’t worry about me. I’ll find something.” And I truly believed I would.

I went over to the coach house. Sylvie had made sure that the other guest room had clean sheets and plenty of fresh towels. I deposited my bag on the bed and slumped on the sofa, where I leafed through magazines until I was hungry again. Seamus had thoughtfully left me a delicious sandwich in the fridge, so after lunch I returned to the castle to look after André while Sian rested. I found mother and son in the upstairs sitting room. André, as I expected, was wide awake and making soft noises in the cradle. Sian looked exhausted, sitting next to him and rocking the cradle with one limp arm. The skin around her eyes was dark from lack of sleep and she blinked slowly when I entered the room and she looked up at me.

“Sian, I hope you’re planning to take a nice, long nap this afternoon. You look worn out.”

“I’m going to sleep as soon as I get back to my room.” She nodded toward her baby. “He’s been awake practically all night, every night. I haven’t been getting any sleep.”

“I’ll take care of him now, so you go and lie down. Don’t worry about a thing.” I already knew where she kept his pram, so I intended to take him outside for some fresh air while she slept.

She didn’t need to be asked twice. She left just a moment later and I heaved a sigh of relief that André was still too young to experience separation anxiety. Otherwise I might have a screaming baby on my hands. But he was a delightful infant, quiet and happy, with dark, expressive eyes just like his father. I bundled him up and carried him downstairs to the main hall, where I knew the pram waited, mostly unused, in an alcove generally reserved for coats and hats. He was interested in everything that went on around him. He watched me closely and I smiled at him, tickled his chubby chin, and sang to him. He was still too little to appreciate my singing, and I was glad there was no one else around to hear me.

I pushed the pram out the huge front doors and onto the stone steps in front of the castle. Very carefully I lifted it down the steps and placed it on the ground. I made sure the visor was up so the bright sky wouldn’t bother André’s eyes, then I pushed him first around to the gardens.

We had a lovely walk through some of the gardens. The starkness of the boughs against the sky probably made them easier for him to see, and he seemed fascinated. He looked around everywhere we went. I took him round to the rear of the castle where the undulating fields stretched out to the woods beyond.

I shifted my eyes toward the direction of the stables and noticed a person walking toward us. I recognized that familiar gait—Griff. I was torn between staying where I was to wait for him, since he had surely spotted me, too, or keep walking. I chose to keep walking. Surely he wasn’t coming up to the castle in search of me, so there was no reason to stay to talk to him. I pushed the pram the long distance around the front of the castle and noticed that Griff had come around the other side and with his long strides, we had reached the front of the castle at the same time. Suddenly and unexpectedly, I felt shy when I saw him. Thankfully I had André to focus on or I don’t know what I would have done with myself while Griff stood holding the front door open for me.

“Thank you,” I said primly. The words sounded stuffy. I gently laid André against my shoulder and walked past Griff and into the main hall. The pram was still outside on the landing and Griff grabbed the handle and pulled it inside behind him.

“I can hold the baby while you put this away,” he offered, indicating the pram with a nod of his head.

I handed André to him, warning him to be careful to support the baby’s head and keep him wrapped warmly. I hurriedly put the pram back in the alcove where Sian kept it and turned around to take André back.

Griff was staring at the baby, grinning as if he didn’t have another care. The sight of the two of them stopped me where I was. I was struck with the memory of the conversation I had with Sylvie about Griff—that I knew more about him than I realized. The way he gazed at André told the story of a man who cherished other people and who would go great lengths to protect those needing protection. Then Griff looked up at me and his expression changed to one of ambivalence. I felt a pained hopelessness—I had made a huge blunder in spending one miserable evening in the pub with Rhisiart. But I had to try explaining myself one more time.

“Griff, do you have a minute? I’d like to talk to you.”

“I’m pretty busy,” he answered. “Rhisiart wanted to meet with me. I don’t know what it’s all about.”

“After you’re done talking to Rhisiart then?” I asked, sounding more hopeful than I wanted to.

“I don’t know about that. It depends on what he wants.” He handed André back to me carefully and I got a whiff of his cologne—masculine and light—mixed with the comforting scent of horses.

Griff went down the hallway in search of Rhisiart and I took André upstairs. I found two thick, soft blankets in a chest and spread them out on the floor in the sitting room where Sian liked to stay with André. I placed him on the blankets on his back and sat next to him. He watched my movements as I reached for a squishy block that was on the floor nearby, then I moved it in the air above his head where he could see it. He was still too tiny to grasp things on his own, but he waved his arms upward and touched the block. His bright eyes didn’t miss anything.

Before long there was a soft sound in the doorway. I turned my head toward the noise and saw Brenda standing just inside the room.

“Hi, Brenda. Is everything all right?”

She stood still, her eyes darting from one side of the room to another. Something was wrong.

“Brenda? What’s going on?” I raised my voice to get her attention. I glanced at the baby, who was happily gurgling to himself.

I stood up slowly and walked toward Brenda with uncertain steps. I kept my eyes focused on her to make sure she didn’t move without warning.

When I reached her I waved my hand in front of her eyes, which appeared unfocused and bleary.

“Brenda, what’s going on? Come sit down.” I led her to the settee in front of the fireplace, trying to keep one eye on André, who was moving his little body on the blankets but certainly wasn’t going anywhere. He was too small to turn over by himself.

Brenda let me pull her gently to a seated position, then gave a slight shake of her head. “Eilidh. What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice sounding far away.

“I was in here playing with the baby. What are you doing here?” I had a feeling I knew where this conversation was headed and I didn’t like it at all.

“I don’t know. How did I get in here?” she asked, looking around as if realizing for the first time where she was.

“Brenda, what have you been doing?” I asked, a warning tone in my voice.

She looked down at her hands in her lap. “Nothing.”

“It doesn’t look like nothing to me,” I said. “Is there something we should talk about?”

She slouched forward, her head resting in her hands. “Don’t tell my mum, please, Eilidh. I need help.”

“What are you on?” I asked. “Cocaine?”

She groaned, and I took that as a “yes.”

“You know what has to happen, Brenda. You know we have to talk to your mum about this. You can’t go on letting this drug destroy everything. I thought you were getting better.”

She was getting weepy. “But with all the stress of having to look for a new job, and Mum’s always talking about how I need to get out of the village and go to university, and…” She left off, shaking her head in despair.

“There are other ways of dealing with stress, ways that are much healthier.” I dreaded what was coming next. “Brenda, tell me where you got the coke.”

“I can’t,” she said with a whisper. “Something awful will happen if I say anything.”

“What could happen? We get that person to stop giving you cocaine, or selling it to you, and it’s done. If necessary, we call the police and they’ll arrest whoever it is.”

“I can’t.” The words came out in a barely perceptible squeak.

“You have to, I’m afraid. We can’t have you going around like this, especially with a tiny child in the castle. You’re going to have to tell me where you got the cocaine and I’ll take care of it myself.”

“But you don’t understand,” she said, louder now, pleading with me.

“I understand perfectly. You’re the one who doesn’t understand,” I told her. I was getting angry now. I had believed that she was getting clean, and I was mad at myself. Mad for believing her.

But as I looked at her pathetic form, slumped down on the settee, I wondered if I had really understood the extent of her need for cocaine. Was she more dependent on it than I realized? Than anyone realized? And was it leading her down a path of other drug use? And where was she getting the cocaine? My first concern had to be for her safety and health, and then my second concern, almost as important as the first, was the safety of everyone else in the castle, especially little André. I didn’t know what someone under the influence of a drug-addled brain was capable of doing, but I didn’t want to wait to find out.

I stood up. “Brenda, I want you to go downstairs to my room. Stay in there until you’ve had a chance to sober up, compose yourself, whatever you need to do. I’ll keep this between us for the moment because I’m watching André until Sian has had time to rest.”

Brenda turned around to look at the door and then blinked once, turning back to me. “I’m tired.”

“You look tired. Now go do what I told you to do.”

She pushed herself up from the settee and made her way to the doorway, staring at André on the floor as she walked. “He’s so lucky,” she said with a sigh. “Not a care in the world.”

I wasn’t sure how lucky André was, having no father and no grandmother, but I didn’t argue. I wanted Brenda out of the room, away from the baby, and downstairs where no one would see her.