Chapter 18

After Brenda left André began to fuss, so I scooped him up and walked around the room with him, bouncing him gently on my shoulder and cooing to him, but the fussing soon turned into wailing. I didn’t know if Sian used a dummy to quiet her baby, but I didn’t have one. I remembered Greer saying that Ellie used to be soothed by the tip of Greer’s pinky finger, so I put my finger in André’s mouth. He began sucking on it and stopped crying almost immediately. The room grew quiet again and I continued to walk with him. We walked around the perimeter of the room for many minutes. Several times I thought he would go to sleep, but he opened his eyes each time I tried to put him down. I had taken him over to the window to gaze outside when there was a scream from downstairs. I didn’t want to startle André, so I walked swiftly to the staircase and looked over the railing. He began to squirm in my arms as people began to gather in the front hall, which I could glimpse from my perch.

The first one to arrive in the main hall was Cadi. “Who screamed?” she called out, looking in every direction. She didn’t look up, though, and I didn’t answer her.

“I don’t know. Where did it come from?” The voice belonged to Rhisiart, who came running from the direction of the sitting room, with Griff close on his heels.

“I don’t know,” Cadi said. “You two go see if you can find out who it was.” She made no move to help them, but watched as they ran down the hallway leading to my room and to the staircase going below-stairs.

A moment later there was a shout. I stayed where I was, holding the baby tighter and jiggling him gently in my arms. I wanted to know what was happening, but I couldn’t leave André alone and I didn’t want to take him into the confusion downstairs. As I watched Rhisiart appeared, flailing his arms. “Call for an ambulance!” he yelled to Cadi.

“Why?” she asked. He turned on her, his eyes flashing.

“Just do it and I’ll tell you in a minute!” Cadi slipped her hand into the back pocket of her trousers and pulled out her phone. In just a moment she had dialed the number and had a dispatcher on the line. She handed the phone to Rhisiart.

“There’s a woman here who’s been cut very badly,” he told the dispatcher, his breath coming quickly. “You have to hurry. She’s bleeding everywhere!” He listened for a moment and then handed the phone back to Cadi. “I have to try to stop the bleeding. Where can I find a rag?”

“Run and ask Maisie for one!” I cried from my perch above them. Rhisiart looked up, then did a double-take. Cadi looked on in surprise.

“What are you doing up there?” Rhisiart asked.

“Minding the baby,” I answered. “Never mind that. Hurry and get the rags you need from Maisie. Who’s hurt?”

“I don’t know. I thought it was you,” Rhisiart answered, then took off in a sprint toward the stairs leading to the kitchen. My arms started trembling. Me? Why would he think it was me? Holding André close against my chest, I walked as quickly as I dared toward Sian’s room. As much as I wanted her to rest so she could care for her baby properly, it was time for her to take André back so I could assist with whatever was going on downstairs.

I rapped my knuckles loudly on her bedroom door. I could hear a shuffling noise inside the room. After a moment Sian opened the door, her hair rumpled but her eyes bright. “Oh, Eilidh. I hope I didn’t take too long.” She reached for André. “Thank you so much for taking care of him. How long was I asleep?”

“About two hours,” I answered. “I’d be happy to watch André longer, but something is going on downstairs and I think I should get down there to help.” I was turning away from the door as I spoke.

“What’s going on?” she asked, alarm in her voice.

“I don’t know. Cadi just rang for an ambulance. I need to get down there.” Sian gasped at my words, then held her baby closer to her as I sped down the hallway toward the stairs. I heard the click of her bedroom door lock as I descended into the chaos on the main floor of the castle.

Griff was running from the direction of my bedroom and he stopped short when he saw me at the bottom of the stairs.

“What… I mean, how did you… I thought that was you back there!” he said, his features morphing into a look of confusion.

“What on earth is going on?” I demanded. “Why does everyone think I’m somewhere else?”

He nodded down the hall toward my bedroom. “That scream came from your room,” he said. “It’s pitch dark in there and there’s blood…” He trailed off. “Then who’s in there?”

Brenda. Something had happened to Brenda. Only a few short minutes had passed since I first heard the scream coming from the main floor, so there were no answers yet.

“It’s Brenda—I sent her to my room to, um, rest. Something awful must have happened.” I couldn’t stand here any longer chatting about it. I had to find out what had gone on in my room.

I yanked the door open to find utter darkness in the room. The drapes had been drawn and no one had thought to open them. From the dim light of the hallway I could see Brenda’s body sprawled on the bedroom floor. Blood lay spattered around her. I ran to the windows and thrust the drapes open to let some light into the room, then turned on the light next to the bed. She lay face-down on the floor, her eyes closed, her lips white. A pool of blood was seeping around her head. I forced my eyes to focus on her head and neck to determine where the blood was coming from. I didn’t want to turn her over for fear of hurting her more. I knelt next to her and finally saw the blood moving, glistening in the light from the windows. It was pulsing slowly from her neck. I yelled her name, then breathed a huge sigh of relief when she moaned.

“She’s alive,” I said, half to reassure myself. I took her hand in mine.

Rhisiart appeared in the doorway. “I have the rags. Do you want to do it?”

“No, you can do it.” I pointed to Brenda’s neck and said to Rhisiart, “Hold this rag in place. Press hard.” He held the rag against the girl’s neck and pressed. Brenda moaned again.

“It’s all right, Brenda. You’re going to be all right.” I looked at Rhisiart and said in a low voice, “Where’s Maisie?”

“She’s on her way up. She wanted to get some hot water to bring upstairs and I asked her for more rags.” Maisie probably didn’t realize it was her daughter who had been hurt—I wanted to be there when she found out, so she would have a friend close by.

At that moment Maisie appeared in the doorway. She took one look at me and her gaze shifted to the body on the floor. She let out an anguished cry and flung herself beside Brenda, letting the basin of water fall to the floor. She kept her focus on her daughter as she spoke to me. “What happened?”

“We don’t know. I was upstairs with the baby and I heard someone scream. Rhisiart and Griff found her in here but the drapes were drawn and they couldn’t see who it was. They assumed it was me.”

“What was Brenda doing in here?” Maisie asked.

“I sent her here to lie down. She wasn’t feeling well,” I answered. Now wasn’t the time to discuss Brenda’s continuing coke habit.

Brenda moaned again, this time trying to twist her body. I tried to hold her shoulders in place and Maisie held her hand. “Don’t try to move, Brenda. The ambulance is on its way and you’ll be at hospital before you know it. They’ll get you all fixed up there,” I told her.

I looked to Maisie, hoping she would say something to calm Brenda, but it was clear that Maisie was having a hard time controlling her own emotions. She blinked rapidly, obviously not wanting to cry in front of her daughter. She opened and closed her mouth several times, then looked at me and shook her head. I knew she didn’t trust herself to say anything without falling apart. Griff came into the room to announce that the ambulance had just pulled up, as well as two police cars. He knelt on the floor next to me and peered closely at Brenda. “How are you doing, lass? We’ll have you out of here in no time. You’ll be as good as new before you know it.”

Rhisiart hadn’t said a word, but continued to apply pressure to the wound on Brenda’s neck. It was only a moment before the paramedics came rushing into the room, wheeling a stretcher between them. They were quickly followed by three police officers. We all backed away to let the professionals do their work. In just a few minutes they had the young girl strapped to the stretcher and they were wheeling her down the corridor toward the main hall. Maisie and I followed them while the rest of the household stood silently.

“Maisie, don’t worry about a thing here. Go in the ambulance with Brenda and I’ll take care of everything at the castle.” Ordinarily Maisie was one to worry about details, but this time she just nodded and swept into the back of the ambulance after Brenda. She had forgotten all about the castle and its inhabitants and was focused solely on her daughter by the time the paramedic slammed the back door of the ambulance.

I walked slowly back into the castle, where the police had already started to separate everyone in the main hall to talk to them in different rooms. Hugh and Cadi were each with a different officer, and the third kept watch over Griff and Rhisiart, who were both standing in the front hall, glowering at each other. Sian was nowhere to be seen.

“Miss, can you wait right here, please, until you’re called for questioning?” the officer asked, gesturing toward a chair that had been placed against the wall. I sat down obediently, wondering how long I was going to have to wait. Someone had apparently told the police that Sian was in the castle, too, because she came downstairs a few minutes later holding André, who was setting up quite a wail. She handed the baby to me while she retrieved the pram from its home in the alcove, then she took him back and strapped him into the carriage. She pushed the handle of the pram back and forth while André continued to cry, but as the minutes stretched by the baby eventually calmed down. If it hadn’t been such a grim situation, it might have been comical to watch Rhisiart try to control his anger at having to listen to the baby cry. He clenched and unclenched his fists, muttered to himself, and sighed loudly every time André let out an especially loud howl. Griff, as I had expected, seemed not to be bothered by the baby’s noise. Sian herself was doing her utmost to keep her son quiet, but she was finding it difficult, as I could see by her increased agitation and the tears that slid down her cheeks. At one point I offered to take him and walk with him, but she declined. I think she felt more secure having him with her.

We had been sitting there about thirty minutes when one of the officers came out of the sitting room and beckoned me into the sitting room.

When we were seated across the coffee table from each other he began to ask me questions.

“Why was the housekeeper in your room? It’s my understanding she wasn’t required to clean your room.”

“That’s true,” I said with a nod. “I sent her there to lie down.”

“Why?”

“She wasn’t acting like herself and I knew her mother would worry if she saw Brenda like that.”

“Like what?”

“She was… under the weather,” I answered, struggling to find words that would describe Brenda without revealing that she was high.

The officer eyed me suspiciously. “Under the weather how?”

It was obvious that he wasn’t going to let this go until he had a straight answer, so I just blurted it out. “Brenda was high. I didn’t want her mum to see her like that so I sent her to my room to sleep it off.”

“High on what?”

“Cocaine, I think.”

“Where’d she get it?”

“I don’t know. I tried to get her to tell me, but she wouldn’t.”

“Where do you think she got it?”

“If I knew, I’d be the first one to tell you. But I have no idea.”

“All right. Tell me what you think happened in your room.”

“I have no idea. I heard a scream, but I couldn’t go looking for the source of it right away because I was taking care of Sian’s baby. I was upstairs.”

“When did you come down?”

“I finally knocked on Sian’s door and gave the baby to her so I could come down and help. That’s when I went into my room and saw Brenda on the floor.”

“Who might have held a grudge against Brenda?”

“I can’t think of anyone. She kept to herself. She’s a good housekeeper, but she didn’t get involved in household matters.”

“So you don’t know who slashed her neck?”

“No.” I shook my head.

“We’ve been called to this house quite a few times recently. Why do you suppose that’s happening?”

The obvious answer was that people kept getting hurt, or worse, but I didn’t think that was the answer he was looking for. “I honestly don’t know.”

“Why are you still around? It’s my understanding that Annabel’s sons and daughter-in-law own the property now. Do you work for them?”

“In a way. They’ve asked me to do certain things, like pay the bills and do the filing, but I’m not employed by them in the same capacity I was for Annabel. And incidentally, it’s not Sian who owns a third of the property. It’s her infant, André, but since he’s a newborn she will make decisions on his behalf until he gets older.”

The officer seemed to think this interesting.

“You haven’t answered my question, though. Why are you still around?”

“I’ve sent out my CV to some places looking for an estate manager, but I haven’t heard anything yet. At least here I’m still earning a paycheck. I can’t just stop working until the right job comes along.” I was annoyed that he had asked the question, as if blaming me somehow for not finding another job yet.

“Don’t go too far. We may need to talk to you again.”

I left the room to find that the other officer asking questions had taken Rhisiart into the dining room. Sian was next, and the officer who had spoken to me called her.

I went straight to the coach house, where I busied myself cleaning and straightening up. Maisie called once to let me know Brenda was in surgery, but had no other information for me. She hadn’t been told of Brenda’s prognosis.

“Do you want me to come and wait with you?” I asked my friend.

“No, you stay there to see what you can learn,” Maisie answered. “My sister is here with me.” I was relieved to know that Maisie wasn’t alone waiting for Brenda to come out of surgery. Maisie had probably forgotten that I was staying in the coach house because of the danger of staying in the castle, but I didn’t remind her. I didn’t want her to think I wasn’t trying to get to the bottom of Brenda’s attack.

After I’d finished talking to Maisie I was obsessively cleaning the coach house when Sylvie called. Before I could stop myself I blurted out what had happened.

“Do you want me to come back?” she asked, her voice filled with worry.

“No, you stay there. I’ll be fine. I just wanted to talk.”

“I never should have come back to Cauld Loch,” she fretted. “Maybe Seamus should stay with you. He’s more protection than I would ever be.”

“No, really. It’s fine. I’m staying in the coach house and I’m perfectly safe over here.”

“All right, if you’re sure…”

I promised to keep her updated and rang off. I had cheese and crackers for dinner that night and went to bed early. It had been an extremely long day.

I was almost asleep when a horrifying thought occurred to me. I didn’t know why I hadn’t realized it sooner.

The person who attacked Brenda probably expected me to be in the bedroom. That attack had been meant for me.

In an instant I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I turned on the light next to the bed and despite that, the edges of my vision started to turn black. I reached for my phone and dialed Sylvie. She answered on the first ring, sounding like she was wide awake.

“That attack was meant for me. I’m sure of it.”

Her voice told me she had expected this. “We didn’t want to say anything. That was the first thing I thought of when I heard the news about Brenda and the first thing Seamus said when I told him. I’m sorry. Maybe we should have said something so we could talk about it rather than having you figure it out for yourself alone and in the dark.”

“That’s all right,” I said miserably. “Poor Brenda. She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’ll never forgive myself.”

“You couldn’t have known what would happen,” Sylvie pointed out. “Remember the time back in Edinburgh when I was beaten so badly? That guy thought he was attacking Greer because we look so much alike. But I never once blamed her for it. She couldn’t have known what would happen.” Sylvie referred to an incident back before she and Seamus were married. The two sisters shared a flat in Edinburgh and during the awful time when Greer’s daughter was missing, a man had broken into the flat hoping to scare Greer and attacked Sylvie instead. And though it was a comfort to have Sylvie’s side of the story, I still didn’t know how I would face Brenda or Maisie after this.

Sylvie talked with me until she thought I would be able to fall asleep. Once she rang off, though, I got up and sat in front of the smoldering fire for a short while, thinking about everything that had happened. I had planned to continue working at the castle until I found another job, but was that wise? I had some money saved. Perhaps it was time to leave the castle for good, dip into that fund, and use the money to find a flat and buy necessities while I looked for another job. But that wasn’t the only reason I was staying: I wanted to be there as long as Maisie and Brenda stayed, since I was the only friendly face they saw in the castle. But that would likely change, since Maisie probably wouldn’t want to work in the castle after this experience and Brenda would likely never want to set foot in the castle again.

I would have to talk to Maisie about it before packing up my things and leaving the castle, but I had a feeling that she would be ready to leave. And if that attack had been directed at me, then she would want me to leave, too.

I could hear my mobile phone ringing in my room.

“Hullo?”

There was a muffled sound on the other end and I couldn’t make out a voice. “Who is this?”

A snorting sound, then a deep breath. “It’s Maisie. Brenda just passed,” Maisie said in a choked voice.

I hung up the phone and let out a howl that echoed through the coach house. I was shaking, screaming, weeping into my hands. I heaved choking sobs as I rocked back and forth on the sofa. I couldn’t open my eyes. I wanted to die. I called Sylvie again.

“She’s dead!” I cried when Sylvie answered. “It should have been me,” I moaned over and over. “It’s all my fault she’s dead!”

Sylvie said something, but I couldn’t hear her. I was alone, afraid, and unspeakably grief-stricken. Then everything went black around me and the voice of my cousin faded into a soft nothingness. The last thing I heard was Sylvie saying, almost in slow motion, “Stay with me, Eilidh. Seamus and I are on our way.”

I don’t know how long I was unconscious, but I was still crying when I came to. I couldn’t stay in the coach house. Its walls were pressing in on me. I needed to get out, to go somewhere, to do something. I didn’t know what I had to do or where I had to go, but I had to get out.

Still in my pyjamas, I grabbed my coat from where it hung on a rack inside the front door and thrust my arms into it.

I wrenched the door open and stepped outside into the whipping wind and the sleet falling from the inky black sky. Slamming the door behind me, I stalked away.

My feet took me to the English garden where Annabel had so loved to go. There were stone benches scattered around, and I sat on the one farthest from the garden gate, not really feeling but somehow aware of the biting cold of the stone. I buried my head in my hands, wishing tears would flow, but they wouldn’t. I had cried them all out back at the coach house.

I sat on the bench for quite a long time, then got up and wandered along the gravel paths that led from one vignette of plantings to another. I knew right where the wolfsbane was, but I didn’t go near it. I had planned on having the wolfsbane cut out of the garden completely after Annabel’s death, but I hadn’t made the arrangements yet. I wondered if I would ever do it or if I would just pack up and leave the castle when morning came. Shivering, I finally made my way to the garden entrance. I was beyond tired and could only think of going to sleep to escape everything. I walked slowly toward the coach house feeling numb and empty. As I approached, though, I heard a noise and in an instant all my senses were on alert.

“Who’s there?” I asked.

“It’s Griff,” came the unmistakable voice.

He’s the last person I want to see right now, I thought with a groan.

“Sylvie called me,” he said. “She told me about Brenda. I thought you could use some company.” I walked slowly toward him, not sure whether I really wanted this, but I stood to face him. He stared at me for several moments.

“It’s all my fault,” I said. “She’s dead because of me.”

“Come on, let’s go inside,” Griff said. He followed me into the coach house and we sat down opposite each other by the fireplace. “Why do you think it’s your fault?”

“I told her to lie down in my room because she was high and I didn’t want her mother or anyone else to see her like that. So she did. And now she’s dead. I’m sure that the person who killed her thought it was me in that bed.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I’m pretty sure. What are you doing here with me, anyway? I thought you wanted nothing to do with me.” In my frame of mind I didn’t feel like being gentle or diplomatic.

“When Sylvie called tonight to tell me about Brenda, she also told me about Rhisiart. She said you went to the pub with him that night because you wanted Maisie and Brenda to be able to go to Annabel’s funeral. Is that true?”

I nodded mutely. Leave it to Sylvie to try to patch things up between Griff and me. I couldn’t decide if I was relieved or furious.

“Why didn’t you just come out and tell me that?”

“I tried, but you weren’t interested in hearing it.”

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I was jealous and angry.”

“It doesn’t matter now, anyway. I’m done at the castle. I’m leaving, so you and I won’t be seeing each other anymore.”

“I don’t blame you for leaving. You stayed longer than I would have if I had to be stuck inside the castle with that family. Where are you going?”

“I don’t know. Wherever I can find a job.”

“There must be places around here that are hiring.”

“I’ve sent out my CV to several places, but I haven’t heard anything yet.”

“Don’t leave just yet. I mean, I think leaving the castle is a good idea and you should have done it before now, but don’t leave the area. A job is bound to open up for you.”

“I don’t know about that, Griff. I’ll have to give it some thought. I have to go where the jobs are.”

“Just don’t make any rash decisions.”

“I won’t.” Suddenly I was bone-weary. It became too much work to continue talking and all I wanted was to crawl into bed, perhaps with the aid of a sedative so I could stay asleep. “I’m exhausted.”

He didn’t move and I went to my room. I turned around to look at him before I closed my bedroom door behind me. “I’m staying to make sure you’re all right,” he said. “Turn off your phone and sleep well. I’ll text Maisie and tell her to get in touch with me if she needs anything.”

“Thanks. See you later.”

I had almost shut the door when he spoke again. “Wait. Just tell me—am I forgiven for being such a clod about you and Rhisiart?”

I smiled wearily. “Yes. You’re forgiven. But next time make sure you listen if I’m trying to explain something to you.”

“I will, promise.” He smiled.

In addition to being so tired, I was cold and sore. I found a bottle of nighttime pain reliever and took two, hoping I would be able to have a long sleep.